


Brother's Loyalty: Endgame

by ShanaRHager



Series: Fight the Fear: A Saga of Brotherly Devotion, 2001-2021 [3]
Category: Luigi's Mansion (Video Games), Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Action/Adventure, Bravery, Family, Grand Finale, Haunted Hotel, King Boo is creepy, Luigi is a shipping magnet, Luigi loses his shirt a lot, Multi, Multiple Endings, Sentient Goo, darker and edgier, hotter and sexier, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:28:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 48
Words: 153,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24368083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShanaRHager/pseuds/ShanaRHager
Summary: Things are on the upswing for Luigi.  Not only does he have friends, a brother and an unofficial sister-in-law who care about him, but the whole gang has been invited to stay at a luxurious new hotel!  The vacation soon turns into a fight for survival, however, when the revenge-hungry King Boo resurfaces and enlists an admirer's help to trap Luigi's near and dear ones in his sadistic clutches!  It's time for Luigi to strap on the Poltergust G-00 and fight his way up this haunted hotel, so he can put the kibosh on his archrival's endgame before it's too late.  The good news?  This time, the green-clad ghost-fighter won't be alone.Rated M for sexual situations and references, sexual assault/non-con, alcohol use, language, crude humor, intense sequences of action/adventure violence and peril and some frightening/disturbing imagery.  Trigger warnings will be posted where appropriate.
Relationships: Chambrea/Steward (Luigi's Mansion), Gooigi/Luigi (Luigi's Mansion), King Boo/Helen Gravely, King Boo/Peach/Helen Gravely, Luigi & Almost Everybody, Luigi & Mario (Nintendo), Luigi & Professor E. Gadd, Luigi/Morty (Luigi's Mansion), Mario/Peach Toadstool, Princess Daisy/Luigi
Series: Fight the Fear: A Saga of Brotherly Devotion, 2001-2021 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810630
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	1. Accentuate the Positive

**Gather 'round me, everybody  
Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'  
Feel a sermon comin' on me  
The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'  
If you want to hear my story  
The settle back and just sit tight  
While I start reviewin'  
The attitude of doin' right  
You've got to accentuate the positive  
Eliminate the negative  
And latch on to the affirmative  
Don't mess with Mister In-Between  
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum  
Bring gloom down to the minimum  
Have faith or pandemonium's  
Liable to walk upon the scene  
To illustrate my last remark  
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark  
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?  
(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")  
("Eliminate the negative")  
("And latch on to the affirmative")  
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)  
Don't mess with Mister In-Between  
(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)  
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)  
(Have faith or pandemonium's)  
(Liable to walk upon the scene)  
You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive  
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative  
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative  
Don't mess with Mister In-Between  
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between**

**-Sam Cooke, “Accentuate the Positive”**

**_Summer 2018_ **

Golden sunlight slat in through the windows of the bedroom and onto the bed, where the sleeping occupant slowly turned over, his chocolate-brown hair lightly mussed from slumber. He opened his radiant blue eyes, pushed aside the covers and slid out of bed, a smile tweaking at his face at the promise of a new day. The young man headed over to the bathroom, where he washed his face and expertly glided a razor over the stubble that had accumulated overnight, taking care not to touch his mustache. After that, he jumped into a cool shower and pulled on a pair of briefs, navy blue gym pants and peppermint-striped socks. The shirt would come later. An anticipated look crossed his features as he connected his phone to two Bluetooth wireless speakers, opened up one of his music apps, selected a random playlist and pressed “play”.

And then he began to dance.

Luigi Mario always started his day like this. Roll out of bed, shave, use a cool shower to wash away the drowsiness and then get his blood pumping with his favorite dance hits from yesterday and today. He danced with the windows and curtains wide open, the daylight casting his body in a wonderful glow as it swished, swiveled and swayed in time to the beat. Within minutes, he was working up a sweat, a beautiful sheen settling itself onto him. His eyes were closed, a big smile on his lips, as he danced frenetically, shooing away the stress and whatever else he was feeling at the moment. It always felt good.

He danced until he ran out of breath, at which point he turned off his music, downed a bottle of Gatorade and jumped into another cool shower. After drying himself off, he brushed his hair, styled it in the usual way and pulled on his regular clothes. Green shirt, navy overalls, white gloves, brown boots and a green cap with a “L” on it. The “L”, by the way, did _not_ stand for “loser”.

Thus dressed, Luigi fixed himself some breakfast and ate it while watching the morning news. Then, he went to his computer and browsed through his emails before he received an incoming Skype call notification. Without hesitation, he answered it.

“Morning,” greeted the chipper falsetto voice of his big bro, Mario. The man he’d sworn to look after. The man he’d almost died for two times over.

“Bro!” Luigi replied. “How are you?”

“Can’t complain,” said Mario, brushing his hair from his face. “I’m just—getting ready for another day of defending this lovely kingdom from enemies without and within.”

“Me, too,” said Luigi.

“Last night, I slept so well…” Mario closed his eyes and then re-opened them. “I never thought I’d have such a peaceful sleep again, especially after…”

“Mario, please—don’t go there,” entreated Luigi. “We’ve made such good progress over the last 17 years. Don’t undo it.”

“You’re right—we _have_ made good progress. We’re seeing our therapists on a bi-monthly basis, enjoying better sleep, socializing more.” Mario smiled. “How are you holding up?”

“Same. Barely any nightmares,” Luigi proudly stated. “Besides, I have so much to look forward to now that looking behind would be a waste of time.”

“Indeed. A new Smash tournament on the horizon—I can’t believe it myself,” laughed Mario. “There are rumors floating around, you know—that everyone’s coming back.”

“I heard. I also heard that perhaps Daisy will get her shot. Boy, do I hope so.”

The brothers laughed.

“Hey, Mario,” said a dulcet voice. “Are you Skyping with Luigi?”

“I sure am,” replied Mario as Princess Peach walked into the frame.

“Hi, Luigi,” said Peach as she settled down beside Mario.

“Hi, Peach,” replied Luigi.

“Guess what day it is,” sighed Peach.

“It’s Friday,” realized Luigi. “Oh, joy.”

“You said it,” huffed Peach. “We’re expecting you-know-who to pay us a visit.”

“Hopefully, he’ll have the decency to at least wait until after my doctor’s appointment,” said Luigi.

Mario shook his head. “I can’t believe he’s still trying after…”

Peach laid a hand on his shoulder. “He won’t go that far again,” she said, “for a while, at least.”

Turning back toward Luigi, she continued, “However, I still think we should meet up at my castle later today. L, can you head over there after your appointment?”

“I sure can,” said Luigi.

“Great!” beamed Peach. “Thad, Chad, Brad, Conrad and I will have lunch ready for you.”

Thad, Chad, Brad and Conrad were four of Peach’s loyal retainers.

“On the whole, I’m just glad you’re taking this one day at a time,” Peach said, adopting a more serious tone. “I can’t help but notice that you’re more relaxed and laid back, and that your attitude is more confident, even after your special year.”

Luigi nodded. “This is my life, and I’m not gonna let _him_ run it,” he said.

“Me, neither,” said Mario.

“Well, I refuse to let that turtle run _my_ life,” said Peach, “so I guess we’re square.”

“That’s what I like about you,” cooed Mario.

“After 33 years, I can rest easy, knowing that you won’t be far away,” said Peach.

“Oh, Peachy…” Mario sighed lovingly.

The two kissed, deeply and passionately.

“However,” said Mario when they separated, “ _he_ still lurks along the edges of my brain. He was the first villain to overpower me. And I can’t help but feel…”

“Ditto,” said Luigi. “Like I said, _he_ doesn’t appear in my dreams often, but when he does…” He shuddered. “That’s why every time I visit the Professor, I have to go down to the Vault and see _him_. So I’ll know that he won’t ever terrorize me again.”

Mario and Peach listened quietly, and then the former glanced at his watch. “I should get in some plumbing jobs before our meet-up later,” he said.

“So should I,” said Luigi. “See you two this afternoon.”

Peach nodded. “I’d better pack a suitcase, just to make sure,” she said.

“He lets you do that?” asked Mario.

“Yeah—he’s—that kind of villain,” Peach rolled her eyes as she spoke. “Guess we’d all better get a jump on the day, huh?”

“Hear, hear,” said Luigi.

“Hey, Luigi,” said Mario. “We love you tons.”

Luigi kissed three fingers and pressed them against the computer screen. “I love you 3000,” he replied.

Goodbyes were exchanged before Luigi hung up.

The man in green strapped on his wristwatch, downed a glass of orange juice and was out the door.

**…**

Later that morning, after fixing a couple of sinks and taking on a few nasty clogs, Luigi sat in the office of Dr. Shayna Beckett, his therapist. Dr. Beckett was a patient young woman in her mid-thirties, her long, raven-black hair styled in a professional bun. She was clad in a blouse, skirt, blazer and flats, a notepad in her lap, occasionally jotting down notes with a powder blue pen as the green-clad plumber spoke.

“What happened doesn’t chafe as much,” Luigi was saying. “It’s the ‘what ifs’ that I have trouble getting past. The ‘what ifs’ are the substance of my nightmares lately. Only dumb luck kickstarted the whole thing, you know, with the Professor showing up when he did and teaching me how to use the Poltergust. If _that_ hadn’t happened, then _he_ would’ve won.”

Dr. Beckett tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Even if the Professor hadn’t shown up at that moment, would you have still had a chance if he’d shown up at a later time?” she asked.

Luigi pursed his lips. “Maybe,” he said.

“Maybe you would’ve—come across the Poltergust before encountering the Professor,” suggested Dr. Beckett.

“Yeah—I would’ve,” mused Luigi.

“There are so many possibilities on how that night would’ve gone,” said Dr. Beckett, “and not all of them are bad.”

“You’re right,” said Luigi. “I guess I should stop—focusing on the bad outcomes and start thinking about the good outcomes. It won’t be easy, though. There’s still a lot of guilt to work through.”

“The guilt that you fell for the initial trick?” asked Dr. Beckett.

“Primarily,” said Luigi, “because I called Mario and told him to meet me there. That’s where the first ‘what if’ comes in—what if I’d arrived sooner? Maybe I would’ve saved him, and we would’ve escaped relatively unscathed. But then there’s more guilt. Guilt that I repeatedly felt the urge to turn back and leave Mario to his fate so that _I_ would have the spotlight for once. What if I’d done so? And what if I hadn’t been resourceful enough, strong enough—brave enough? Even when I was holding him in my arms afterward, the ‘what ifs’ were swimming and swimming and swimming.”

“But you beat the odds and got him out of danger,” said Dr. Beckett.

“That’s the main thing. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and say, ‘I rescued my bro. I fought ghosts and rescued my big bro’. And I feel so proud of myself.”

“As you should,” said Dr. Beckett.

“Not only that—I did so a second time, when the stakes were even higher,” Luigi went on. “ _He_ wanted to not only get Mario back in his clutches, but also conquer the universe. But then—I was sent to deal with the problem early on, leaving Mario open to an attack, and that’s more guilt being tacked on. I tried calling him and kept getting booted to voicemail, and I should’ve excused myself to check on him. But at the same time, my mentor was in peril, and I felt like I owed him for what he did for me back in 2001.”

“You had no way of knowing that _he_ would escape,” said Dr. Beckett, “and you were helping your mentor contain the situation at the time. But once again, you pulled through and saved both your mentor and your brother, along with the world.”

“Over the course of those two adventures, I’ve feared ghosts less,” said Luigi. “I learned that ghosts could be friendly and even mischievous, but not malicious all of the time. My phasmophobia is less intense than it was 17 years ago. I don’t wanna say that I’ve completely gotten rid of it, but—I’m not scared stiff of them anymore. Just—skittish.”

A joyful bark interrupted him, a small, white ghostly puppy leaping through the air and onto Luigi’s lap.

“Hey, puppy,” said Luigi as the ghost pup smiled up at him, tongue hanging out.

“I see that adopting Polterpup helped,” said Dr. Beckett.

“That’s because he’s a cute ghost doggie,” said Luigi. “I can’t be afraid of him.”

Polterpup and Luigi didn’t exactly meet on good terms. Five years ago, when the man in green was exploring Evershade Valley, the ghostly pup stole important items from him on at least three occasions, leading him on risky chases which wasted time and breath. But once disaster had been averted, Luigi really couldn’t stay upset at Polterpup, forgiving him for his mischief and eventually adopting him shortly thereafter. Now, half a decade after giving Polterpup a home, the two were closer than ever.

Luigi rubbed Polterpup’s belly. “It’s nice to have a ghost puppy,” he said. “After a bad nightmare, we snuggle together. We go on walks. And since he’s technically already dead, caring for him is rather easy. All he needs is ghost puppy chow, love, hugs and baths. I wouldn’t trade him for all of the money in the world.”

“You’ve been through so much,” said Dr. Beckett, “and here you are. You emerged with stronger self-confidence, an additional source of comfort, a new hobby and a potential side-job, and a mentor. I believe that in order to continue healing, you should—accentuate the positive.”

“Accentuate the positive,” repeated Luigi.

“Exactly. Let the ‘what ifs’ go. Spend time with Polterpup, with your brother, with the Professor. And most importantly—let King Boo go. If you don’t—then he will win.”

“Let King Boo go…” murmured Luigi. “Now _that_ —I can’t do.”

“Why not?” asked Dr. Beckett.

“He has, and always will have, a price on my head,” said Luigi. “In that Vault, he’s plotting and scheming and waiting for the Professor to lower his guard so he can escape and…” His eyes flashed. “During our last encounter, he told me that he’d not only come for Mario, but also for everyone I knew and loved. He’d let his minions do _things_ to them. When I was in that nightmarish dimension, all I could think about was that I couldn’t let that happen. Seeing him in that Vault only brings me temporary relief, knowing what he could be cooking up. And when he looks at me, his _eyes_ —there are so many promises in his _eyes_. Threat is imminent, and I need to protect the people I can’t live without. Mario, Peach, her Toad retainers, the Professor, Daisy…”

“You’ve spent your life putting others before yourself,” observed Dr. Beckett.

“That’s what the MK likes about me,” said Luigi.

“But you still need to set aside some time for you,” said Dr. Beckett. “You told me your many other hobbies—art, dance, going to the gym, playing the piano, writing. So—here’s a homework assignment for you. Try to devote at least one day to relax, decompress and do what you love.”

“And accentuate the positive,” said Luigi.

“Exactly,” said Dr. Beckett.

The timer on her wristwatch went off. Her session with Luigi was over.

Luigi rose and extended his hand. “Same time two months from now?”

“I’ll go ahead and pencil that in,” said Dr. Beckett, shaking Luigi’s hand. “Until then—do your homework assignment, write in your journal, and remember to breathe.”

“Got it,” grinned Luigi.

Dr. Beckett glanced out the window, and her face fell. “Oh, dear—look who’s decided to come visit,” she said.

Luigi followed her gaze and saw Koopa’s airship gliding through the sky, en route to Peach’s castle. “Uh-oh. I’d better run,” he said. “See you in two months, Dr. B!”

“Yeah. See you,” said Dr. Beckett as Luigi dashed out of the office.

He reached Peach’s Castle just in time to see Koopa standing triumphantly aboard his aircraft, Peach in his arms. The reptile chuckled as he spotted Luigi.

“Hey there, Green ’St—Luigi! You might wanna check on your brother in there,” he crowed. “I practically ate him alive.”

Luigi clenched his fists. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing I can’t bounce back from,” said Mario, emerging from the castle, battered but alive.

“Wow—I thought I got you back there,” said Koopa. “Ah, well. Let’s see if you can stop me this time!” He laughed.

“You got this, Mario and Luigi!” Peach called out as the airship sailed away. “I know you do!”

“Peachy! Hang on!” Mario exclaimed.

“You got this!” Peach shouted before the airship disappeared from view.

“She’s right,” said Luigi. “We can take everything he throws at us.”

Mario’s face brightened, and then his eyes narrowed determinedly.

“Let’s-a go!” he cried.

“Okeydokey!” Luigi responded.

The Bros clasped hands before racing off in pursuit of the Koopa King, the beginning of yet another adventure.


	2. Delicate

**_About a month later…_ **

Professor Elvin Gadd greeted Luigi with a big laugh and a big hug the moment he was Pixelated into Evershade Valley. “It’s always good to see you, youngster,” he said.

“It’s always good to see you, too,” replied Luigi.

“Would you like some coffee?” asked Gadd.

“Sure,” Luigi told him, “but—I need to see _him_ first.”

Solemnly, Gadd nodded. “Follow me.”

Luigi held the nozzle of his trusty Poltergust 5000 at the ready as he and the Professor went into the latter’s Bunker and descended into the Vault. They passed an empty green tank and a blue canister filled with Boos, all of who leered and cackled at the pair. At a specially-constructed containment unit, the duo paused.

“Here he is,” said Gadd.

Slowly and cautiously, Luigi peered inside—and then he leveled the ghost vacuum as a large Boo face was suddenly pressed against the glass, the mouth warped in a cross between a sneer and a snarl, those purple eyes searing deep into his soul.

Luigi’s heart was doing about a hundred, but he didn’t flinch or show any weakness. Instead, he kept his eyes on his mortal enemy, the vacuum’s nozzle steady in his hand, two fingers over the vacuum’s trigger and his thumb over the Strobulb to discourage the imprisoned Boo from pulling a fast one.

“You will _never_ get near my bro again,” Luigi vowed in a low and shaky voice. “ _Never_.”

Gadd walked forward and placed a hand on his mentee’s shoulder. Luigi turned.

“I’ll take that coffee now,” he said.

Together, the Professor and the plumber walked out of the room. And they didn’t look back.

**…**

“I still can’t believe this coffee’s green,” said Luigi as he took a sip of Lunoman Greenie coffee, a blend exclusive to the valley, “and yet it tastes like any other coffee. Are you sure there’s nothing supernatural in this blend?”

“Absolutely positive,” replied Gadd as he sipped from his own mug.

Luigi levered out a slice of one of the assorted coffee cakes and began to eat it. “How’s that ghost energy experiment going?” he asked.

Gadd’s face split into a wide grin. “I’m glad you asked!” he laughed. “As a matter of fact, I’ve made an astonishing breakthrough. I discovered…”

Polterpup dashed onto the scene, barking happily, attracted by the smell of the coffee cakes. Laughing softly, Luigi knelt in front of his pet, broke off a piece of the slice he was eating, and offered it to the paranormal pooch. Polterpup sniffed the treat before gobbling it up, rewarding Luigi with a few doggie kisses and a lick to the cheek. The man in green set aside the slice and gathered Polterpup into his arms.

“Sorry, Professor,” said Luigi as he stroked Polterpup’s fur. “What did you discover?”

“A new element,” Gadd proudly announced.

“No—way,” breathed Luigi.

“It’s true,” said Gadd. “I was collecting samples of ghost energy when a Hider decided to play a prank on me. They startled me so badly that I inadvertently spilled my cup of Lunoman Greenie coffee into the ghost energy. Immediately, the concoction took on the beverage’s distinctive color and attained viscosity. After collecting this new element, I decided to name it—Goo.”

“Goo,” said Luigi.

“You’d better believe it,” said Fred, one of Gadd’s Toad Assistants, poking his head into the room. “Anyone needs more coffee, sugar, cakes—just ask.”

“Thank you, Fred,” said Gadd, and Fred disappeared. To Luigi, he continued, “Goo is vulnerable to water and flame and easily responds to tactile and audial stimuli. In layman’s terms—Goo pushes back when poked or prodded and ‘dances’ to music. I played a lot of music genres for that Goo—classical, pop, country, dance, EDM, trance, standards, show tunes. And when Goo isn’t dancing, then it’s leaning toward the music’s source—following it, even. After my observations, I knew that Goo would suit me well in helping me capture and study ghosts.”

“Jackie Wilson, ‘Higher and Higher’,” said Luigi.

“Pardon?” asked Gadd.

“It’s a song you should play for this—Goo,” said Luigi. “I happen to know _another_ paranormally-enhanced viscous substance, albeit fictitious, that responds favorably to music. Oh, and it influences people’s emotions, too. Or something like that.”

“Are you talking about slime?” asked Gadd.

“Yeah,” Luigi said in surprise.

“Well—Goo is different from slime. It’s not as thick and—snotty,” said Gadd, “but I see your point. However, that’s a discussion for a later time.” He smiled. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

“Okay,” said Luigi.

“All righty—you can come in now,” Gadd called to somebody.

Gooey footsteps sounded, and when the person walked into the room, Luigi couldn’t believe his eyes.

It was a gooey doppelganger of him!

“Wha…?” breathed Luigi as he and his gooey clone locked eyes.

Goo Luigi was an exact replica of the real deal, cap, mustache and all. He was lime green, but Luigi could still see his own trademark facial features. Quizzically, Goo Luigi tilted his head, studying the man he was quite literally modeled after.

“Uh—h—hello,” Luigi nervously greeted.

“Hello,” replied Goo Luigi, his voice sounding gurgly. “Are—you my brother?”

“Er—do you _want_ me to be your brother?” asked Luigi.

“Oh, yeah!” Goo Luigi enthusiastically replied. “That would be nice!”

“Okeydokey—then I’m your brother!”

“Ho-ho!” Goo Luigi exclaimed, giving Luigi a big, gooey hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Bro!”

“You, too, I guess,” laughed Luigi as he returned the embrace. “Professor, how did you…?”

“Oh, it’s quite easy. I wanted to create a new assistant from Goo, so I tried to mold the element into a basic humanoid shape. When that failed—I used your DNA from the Pixelator.”

Luigi made a face. “That’s not in the least bit creepy,” he said.

“Thus, Gooigi was born,” said Gadd.

“That’s his name?” asked Luigi.

“It is. I trained him in the art of ghost-catching by watching the footage I recorded of you. He was a swift learner, copying your every action and using part of his body to fashion his own Poltergust. He’s not _quite_ ready yet, but he’s mastered the basics. I can’t wait to send him on actual ghost-hunting missions.”

“I hope you won’t antagonize the peaceful ghosts here in the name of science,” frowned Luigi.

“Of course not, my boy—I’m not _that_ mad of a scientist! Besides, I have my own destination in mind—but it’s a surprise.”

“Oh, boy! I like surprises!” Gooigi chimed in.

“Listen, Professor,” said Luigi. “What if I—spent some time with Gooigi? Got to know him a little bit? He must be longing to get out of here.”

“You’ve _no_ idea,” huffed Gooigi.

Gadd thought it over. “You’re right—it’ll be good for him to see the world,” he said finally. “I’ll watch over Polterpup in the meantime. Just make sure Gooigi is ready to be Pixelated back by 8p.m., okay?”

“Okay,” said Luigi.

“What are you, my mom?” Gooigi said to Gadd.

“Technically, I created you, so…”

“Whatever you say,” said Gooigi. He turned to Luigi. “C’mon, Bro. Let’s have some fun!”

They held hands as they left the Bunker.

“See you tonight!” Gadd called after them.

**…**

Gooigi sat in the car’s passenger seat, staring wondrously at the world around him, the world in which his flesh-and-blood brother lived and thrived. Throngs of people walked down the streets, light rails glided down the track and skyscrapers caught the sun’s rays. He picked up the faint aromas of barbeque, hot dogs, churros and baking cookies. His gooey body vibrated with the music playing softly on the car’s radio.

He let out a gurgling hum of approval. “Very nice,” he said.

“Indeed,” said Luigi. “The MK is such a bright place with so many nice people.”

“Where do you work?” asked Gooigi.

“Mario Bros Plumbing,” Luigi responded. “The building is right over—there.”

Gooigi followed Luigi’s finger, gawking at his counterpart’s place of employment.

“The main branch is in New York,” said Luigi.

“New York—like Manhattan?”

“Brooklyn,” corrected Luigi. “That’s where Mario and I are from.”

“Mario,” Gooigi said adoringly. “Our Bro.”

“Yup. I’d give my life for him.” Luigi cleared his throat. “What do you have a taste for?”

“At the moment—pizza,” replied Gooigi.

“Have you been given my taste buds?” Luigi playfully asked.

“Kinda. But the Professor has introduced me to different types of food—even his pickled dandelions.” Gooigi made a face.

“Yeah—he’s eccentric like that,” said Luigi. “I don’t mean to offend you, but—how do you eat?”

“Just like everyone else—I can use my amorphous body to fashion my own personal cutlery,” Gooigi said smartly. “I also eat with my fingers.”

“Just wondering,” said Luigi. “The pizza’s gonna be very hot, so I don’t think…”

“Relax. It’s not heat I’m vulnerable to—just open flame,” said Gooigi.

“Hm. Good to know,” said Luigi.

They reached Luigi’s favorite pizzeria, got out of the car and strode inside.

“Hey, Luigi!” greeted the hostess. “Your usual table is open.”

“Thanks,” said Luigi.

“Who’s your friend?”

“Gooigi—Professor Gadd’s brainchild.”

“Hi,” waved Gooigi.

“Oh—hi, Gooigi,” said the hostess. “Follow me, if you please.”

The two were seated at Luigi’s regular booth and given a menu each.

“I normally order the Super Pepperoni with the stuffed crust,” said Luigi. “Do you wanna share that with me?”

“Oh, yeah!” replied Gooigi.

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi.

In no time at all, the aforementioned pizza was set between them, along with two glasses of Sprite and two straws.

“Mmm,” hummed Gooigi as he bit into the pizza, strings of cheese detaching from the slice and dangling from his lips. “Mmmm—good pizza.”

“That’s why I frequent this place,” said Luigi. “They always make the best pizza, and it’s always fresh.”

“Do they deliver?” asked Gooigi.

“Indeed, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to pester the Professor about it,” cautioned Luigi.

Gooigi sighed. “I’m just tired of eating the same old stuff,” he said. “Do you have any idea what he’s feeding me?”

“C’mon—he’s not that bad of a chef,” said Luigi. “We once shared a full, four-course meal—I found it quite palatable.”

“Yeah, well—he has me chowing down on it every single day,” said Gooigi, “and after a while, you grow sick of it. But hey, that’s just me.” He took a careful sip of soda. “I was literally born in a test tube—or a beaker, if you wanna be more technical. I’m being groomed as a ghost-hunting tool, but the Professor needs to realize that I’m a person, same as you. I have thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes…”

“What do you like?” asked Luigi.

“Listening to music, hanging with the nice ghosts, watching footage of you kicking ghost [bleep],” said Gooigi. “I’m beginning to like _you_.”

Luigi blushed. “And what do you dislike?”

“Being taken advantage of—people hurting my friends.”

“Hey! Me, too,” said Luigi. “Do you like the Professor?”

“I guess—he taught me all I need to know.”

“And he saved my life,” Luigi told him.

“Wow,” said Gooigi. “I can’t wait to meet Mario— _really_ meet him. I know I’ll like him, too.”

Luigi giggled.

“Do you like me, Luigi?” asked Gooigi.

“I—I do,” replied Luigi. “The Professor making a gooey clone of me by using my DNA is pretty creepy, but—it seems like you understand me—and you have a whole different personality. It’s almost like—an amalgamation of your personality and the Professor’s. Are you—autonomous? Or are you—sentient?”

“Maybe I’m a little bit of both,” offered Gooigi. “The Professor’s a bit slow on the uptake, though. I mean, he _does_ shows me affection, but I think he only sees me as a means to an end.”

“A ghost-hunting tool,” murmured Luigi, “like my Poltergust. But I’m sure he’ll come around. He’s a relatively nice guy.”

“He must be, if he saved your life,” said Gooigi.

“After we’re finished with our pizza,” said Luigi, “I’d like to show you around my place.”

“I’d love to see your place,” said Gooigi.

The two exchanged a smile.

“Luigi,” whispered Gooigi. “What do you think I—taste like?”

“What kind of question is that?” Luigi wanted to know.

“I’m—just wondering.”

Luigi quirked a smile. “Are you saying that—you’re edible?”

“Well, I _can_ regenerate,” said Gooigi. “So—how do you think I’d taste?”

Luigi pondered. “Maybe—like coffee-flavored Jell-O,” he offered.

“Coffee-flavored Jell-O,” Gooigi said contemplatively.

He plucked off a piece of his pointer finger, which soon regenerated, and plopped it onto Luigi’s palm. “Here’s your chance to find out,” he said.

Cautiously, Luigi popped the offering into his mouth, savoring it. He tasted hints of the pizza they were sharing, along with a little bit of coffee. But he also tasted something—sweet. Like green apple. Yes—green apple! Similar to a Jolly Rancher’s candy. Luigi’s eyes were bright as he sampled the Goo piece, Gooigi studying his reaction.

“Wow—uh…” said Luigi once he swallowed. “You _do_ taste like Jell-O—just a different flavor from what I expected.”

“What flavor?”

“Green apple.”

Now, it was Gooigi’s turn to giggle.

“Hopefully, I won’t get sick,” said Luigi.

“If I suspected that you’d get sick, then I wouldn’t have offered you a taste, now would I?” Gooigi craftily asked.

“You’re right. I say we keep this deeply personal experience between ourselves for now.”

“I agree.”

**…**

Later, Luigi and Gooigi walked into the former’s elegant abode.

“Whoa—this is incredible,” murmured Gooigi.

“It was a gift from the Professor,” explained Luigi. “He really appreciated how I helped him, and so he built this mansion for me.”

“When we were watching the footage of you, the Professor told me about how you saved Mario,” said Gooigi.

“He probably didn’t tell you much, did he?” asked Luigi.

“No—he told me that he was in the lab the whole time,” said Gooigi.

“Would you—like to hear everything?”

“Sure!”

As the duo toured the property, Luigi told his gooey clone the full story of what happened on that fateful October day 17 years ago. The wounds he’d taken to keep to his vow. The times he swallowed back the urge to flee. Even the cruel trick the Boos played on him in the graveyard. And after that, he talked about his recent adventure 5 years ago, when he saved the entire world from destruction and anarchy.

“This guy really had it in for you,” Gooigi said when Luigi was finished. “I’m glad he’s locked in a vault.”

“That makes two of us,” said Luigi.

“Would you face him again?” asked Gooigi.

“If I have to,” Luigi unhesitatingly replied.

Gooigi’s eyes fell upon a photo of a woman in an orange sundress. “Is she—your Princess?” he asked.

“She is,” Luigi replied, a hint of surprise in his voice. “Her name’s Daisy. How did…?”

“I just do,” said Gooigi. “And besides, I _am_ you—sort of. Do you—do you think we can share her sometime?”

“You mean like—have a threesome?” queried Luigi, blushing. “That’s something I’ll have to discuss with her.” He smiled. “But that sounds like fun, huh?”

“It does,” murmured Gooigi as his eyes slid over to another photo. A photo of the man in red.

Gooigi walked over to the photo placed two gooey fingers on it. “Mario,” he uttered, stroking the man in red’s image. “Mario—my Bro— _our_ Bro.”

“Yes,” said Luigi as he stood beside his clone. “Yes, he is.”

Gooigi puckered his lips and kissed the photo. “We love you,” he murmured. “We love you very much. We’d die for you.”

“That’s true,” Luigi said softly.

“For me, death is temporary, but you know what I’m saying,” said Gooigi.

“Absolutely,” said Luigi.

He checked his watch. “The sports complex closes in a few hours,” he said. “What do we say we head over there and burn some calories?”

“What sports do you play?” asked Gooigi.

“Basketball, tennis, dodgeball, volleyball, baseball—the MK holds a lot of sports tournaments, and I’ve mastered almost all of them,” replied Luigi.

“Sounds like fun,” grinned Gooigi. “Let’s-a go!”

Luigi smiled back before ducking into his bedroom and changing into a pair of green gym shorts and a green polo shirt. When he emerged, Gooigi studied him, concentrating hard. Luigi watched in surprise as Gooigi’s “clothes” morphed into an exact replica of his active wear.

“How did you do that?” breathed Luigi.

Gooigi shrugged.

“Guess you don’t have to worry about buying clothes, huh?”

“Nope,” said Gooigi.

They hopped back into Luigi’s car and drove to the sports complex, where they bought a bottle of Gatorade each and rented one of the outdoor volleyball courts for an hour. Luigi was well-acquainted with the complex’s staff, and he introduced them all to Gooigi.

“Do you come here often?” asked Gooigi.

“As often as I can,” replied Luigi.

They reached the volleyball court they’d rented and set down their drinks on a nearby bench. There was a bin of volleyballs sitting off to one side, and Luigi selected one at random. The two of them stood on opposite sides of the volleyball court, facing each other.

“First one to score seven points wins,” Luigi said evenly.

“Okeydokey,” said Gooigi.

Luigi wound up and sent the volleyball arcing over the net, and Gooigi sent it rocketing back. Soon, there was a good rally between them, the two of them spiking and serving and diving like pros. It was ultimately Gooigi who scored the first point.

“You’re pretty good,” gasped Luigi.

“Thanks,” said Gooigi. “So are you.”

He tossed the ball into the air before giving it a powerful spike, and if it weren’t for Luigi’s reflexes, then he would’ve been hit squarely in the face. Once again, the ball sizzled back and forth between them, Luigi managing to score two points. But then Gooigi scored another point, bringing them to a tie.

The score remained tied between them, as shortly after one scored a point, the other managed to score, as well. Luigi was beginning to think that his skill at and love for sports had been copied along with his DNA when Gooigi was created. By the time they scored five points each, he was hot and sweaty, the sun hung low in the sky, and they had to surrender the volleyball court to another patron in 30 minutes. He looked over at Gooigi, who was also breathing heavily.

“Break?” he asked.

“Break,” said Gooigi.

Luigi unscrewed his bottle of Gatorade and took a big swig before pulling off his shirt, neatly folding it and setting it on the bench. Gooigi caught sight of him, and for the life of him, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from his flesh-and-blood counterpart’s built, muscular torso. A thin layer of perspiration sparkled on his skin, which had turned rosy from exertion. It took a while for him to realize that he was gawking at Luigi and swiftly composed himself.

“What’s your secret?” asked Gooigi.

“You know—eating right, plenty of exercise, the whole nine yards,” replied Luigi.

Gooigi let out a hum before the Goo composing him once again shifted so that he, too, was shirtless.

“Ready?” asked Gooigi.

Luigi pressed his lips together. “C’mon,” he replied.

And their game resumed.

They never managed to break their tie, but it didn’t really matter anymore. All that mattered was that they were bonding, Luigi introducing his gooey doppelganger to one of his favorite pastimes. And despite being copied off of him, Gooigi wasn’t trying too hard to be like him. As he said, he was his own person, with his own likes and dislikes. Luigi could only hope that Gadd wouldn’t treat Gooigi like a mindless ghost-hunting machine. Was he even aware that he’d achieved some sort of sentience? And if so, then how would the Professor react?

That, however, was between Gooigi and the Professor. And Luigi had faith that Gadd knew what he was doing—eccentric as it could be.

With a deep grunt, Luigi gave the volleyball one final spike, sending it over the net and onto Gooigi’s cap, where it stuck. Nonchalantly, Gooigi pulled the ball away, his cap quickly reforming.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Luigi asked in concern.

“You didn’t,” said Gooigi as he wiped the volleyball. “Great game, by the way.”

“Ditto.”

Luigi and Gooigi shook hands, put the volleyball back in the bin and vacated the volleyball court with just a few minutes to spare. After a shower and a change of clothes on the former’s part, the two drank the last of their Gatorade and exited the sports complex. It was almost time for Gooigi to return to the Bunker.

Before that, however, Luigi made a stop at Leatherby’s Family Creamery, where the two of them shared a large hot fudge sundae.

“Thanks for a fun day, Luigi,” Gooigi said heartily, ice cream and fudge and whipped cream all over his face.

“You’re welcome,” replied Luigi. “It was lovely meeting you.”

“And it was lovely meeting _you_ ,” Gooigi told him. “What an experience, meeting the person you were literally modeled on.”

The two laughed.

“I hope we do this again sometime,” said Luigi.

“Me, too,” replied Gooigi.

Once the sundae was finished and they paid their bill, the two walked outside, where Luigi contacted Gadd.

“Professor—we’re ready,” he said.

He took Gooigi’s hand, closed his eyes and waited for that familiar sensation to overtake him.

**This ain't for the best  
My reputation's never been worse, so  
You must like me for me  
We can't make  
Any promises now, can we, babe?  
But you can make me a drink**

**Dive bar on the East Side, where you at?  
Phone lights up my nightstand in the black  
Come here, you can meet me in the back  
Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you  
Oh damn, never seen that color blue  
Just think of the fun things we could do  
'Cause I like you**

**This ain't for the best  
My reputation's never been worse, so  
You must like me for me  
Yeah, I want you  
We can't make  
Any promises now, can we, babe?  
But you can make me a drink**

**Is it cool that I said all that?  
Is it chill that you're in my head?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)  
Is it cool that I said all that  
Is it too soon to do this yet?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate  
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?  
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?  
Delicate**

**Third floor on the West Side, me and you  
Handsome, your mansion with a view  
Do the girls back home touch you like I do?  
Long night, with your hands up in my hair  
Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs  
Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share  
'Cause I like you**

**This ain't for the best  
My reputation's never been worse, so  
You must like me for me  
Yeah, I want you  
We can't make  
Any promises now, can we, babe?  
But you can make me a drink**

**Is it cool that I said all that?  
Is it chill that you're in my head?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)  
Is it cool that I said all that  
Is it too soon to do this yet?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate  
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?  
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?  
Delicate**

**Sometimes I wonder when you sleep  
Are you ever dreaming of me?  
Sometimes when I look into your eyes  
I pretend you're mine, all the damn time  
'Cause I like you**

**Is it cool that I said all that?  
Is it chill that you're in my head?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)  
Yeah, I want you  
Is it cool that I said all that  
Is it too soon to do this yet?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)  
'Cause I like you  
Is it cool that I said all that?  
Is it chill that you're in my head?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)  
Yeah, I want you  
Is it cool that I said all that  
Is it too soon to do this yet?  
'Cause I know that it's delicate  
Delicate**

**-Taylor Swift, “Delicate”**


	3. Better Now

**You probably think that you are better now, better now  
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything  
You know I say that I am better now, better now  
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything, oh whoa**

**I did not believe that it would end, no  
Everything came second to the Benzo  
You're not even speaking to my friends, no  
You knew all my uncles and my aunts though  
Twenty candles, blow 'em out and open your eyes  
We were looking forward to the rest of our lives  
Used to keep my picture posted by your bedside  
Now it's in your dresser with the socks you don't like  
And I'm rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'  
With my brothers like it's Jonas, Jonas  
Drinkin' Henney and I'm tryna forget  
But I can't get this outta my head**

**You probably think that you are better now, better now  
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything  
You know I say that I am better now, better now  
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything, oh whoa**

**I seen you with your other dude  
He seemed like he was pretty cool  
I was so broken over you…  
Life, it goes on, what can you do?  
I just wonder what it's gonna take (what's it gonna take?)  
Another foreign or a bigger chain (bigger chain)  
Because no matter how my life has changed (matter how my life has changed)  
I keep on looking back on better days**

**You probably think that you are better now, better now  
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything  
You know I say that I am better now, better now  
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything, oh whoa**

**I promise  
I swear to you, I'll be okay  
You're only the love of my life**

**You probably think that you are better now, better now  
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything  
You know I say that I am better now, better now  
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around  
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down  
Woulda gave you anything, woulda gave you everything, oh whoa**

**-Post Malone, “Better Now”**

**_Two weeks later…_ **

“I have a present for you,” said the Professor as he and Luigi killed time in the Bunker together. “It’s something I’ve spent at least two years working on.”

Fred walked in, carrying something covered in a white sheet, which he placed into Gadd’s arms.

“Ready?” Gadd asked his assistant.

“Ready,” replied Fred.

Gadd nodded to Fred, who pulled the sheet away to reveal—

—a brand-spanking-new Poltergust!

“Whoa…” breathed Luigi as he looked Gadd’s latest invention over.

This new Poltergust had a sleeker design, a more ergonomic grip and a clear Plexiglass tank. Stepping closer, Luigi ran his hand along the vacuum’s apparatus, and then its straps. The straps were composed of a softer material and appeared easier to adjust.

“She’s—she’s beautiful,” Luigi said finally. Gazing into Gadd’s eyes, he asked, “May I inquire as to the occasion?”

“Do I really need an occasion to equip you with the latest ghost-catching technology?” Gadd asked craftily. “After 5 years with the Poltergust 5000 on your back, I had a feeling that you were yearning for an upgrade. I also couldn’t help but notice how the ghosts kept ganging up on you during your last adventure, so with this Poltergust, you’ll have a few defensive tools at your disposal.”

“I was _just_ about to say something to that effect,” said Luigi.

He slid the new Poltergust onto his back and deftly adjusted the straps. It was almost weightless compared to the previous two Poltergusts he’d used. He took the nozzle in his hands, feeling along the familiar ridges and grooves and the switch that controlled the suction.

Gadd ushered Luigi into a practice area, where bullseyes lined the walls.

“There’s a lever near the vacuum’s switch,” said Gadd. “Could you pull on it for me, please?”

Luigi obliged—and then braced himself against the recoil as a red plunger attached to a rope shot out, implanting itself onto one of the bullseyes.

“Ah—I have some projectiles to work with,” mused Luigi. “That’s fantastic. Not only that—a plunger on a rope looks like a good tether. When you were designing this—were you thinking about the fact that I’m a plumber? Plumbers use plungers, you know.”

“When I had the idea to make you a new Poltergust, I wanted to design a contraption that would make you comfortable and comforted,” said Gadd.

Pointing the nozzle away from Gadd, Luigi pressed that familiar red button, grinning when he saw the bright flash. “Perfect—you already built in the Strobulb,” he said. Then, he pressed another button, but nothing happened. “All that’s missing is the Dark-Light Device.”

“I’m still working on it. Other than that, the Poltergust is functional. I’ll have all of the features, new and old, ready for you within the coming year.”

“Great,” said Luigi. “Say, Professor—there’s a new fighting tournament coming up later this year—Super Smash Brothers Ultimate. And I have a feeling about that plunger-shooting function. It might be a handy improvement to my fighting style. Mind if I write a letter to Master Hand, asking him if I can bring my new Poltergust into the tournament?”

“Not at all,” replied Gadd, “and afterward, you can use this room to practice and get the feel of it. Remember, however—the Poltergust G-00 is _not_ a toy.”

“Understood,” said Luigi.

“Bear her well and wisely.”

“Of course.”

Gadd smiled and walked out of the room, leaving Luigi standing there in silent contemplation. Then, the plumber whirled on the bullseyes around him, firing off plunger after plunger in quick succession. It didn’t take long for him to get the hang of this new feature.

He had a feeling he was gonna need it in the very near future.

**…**

It went on like this for a while, Luigi practicing with the Poltergust G-00, checking in on Professor Gadd, spending time with Mario and Peach, romancing Daisy and bonding with Gooigi. But as summer turned into autumn, the temperatures dropped and the leaves fell, Luigi sensed that Gadd’s latest plans for Gooigi were coming to fruition.

“He’s finally ready to go on his first real ghost-hunt!” Gadd excitedly announced one balmy October day.

“That’s wonderful!” gushed Luigi. “But where, exactly, are you sending him?”

“Back in time.”

Luigi raised a brow.

“I’ve converted the Pixelator into a time machine,” explained Gadd, “and it will allow Gooigi to travel into the past.”

“How far back in time are you sending him?” asked Luigi.

“Seventeen years.”

“Seventeen years—that’s—2001! Professor, are you sending him—to the night we met?”

“Exactly,” beamed Gadd. “I’ve decided to send Gooigi to the night of October 18, 2001. I figured that perhaps he could work with your younger self to capture the ghosts from that nostalgic mansion. That way, I can study _their_ ghost energies. Since they were part of an illusion conjured by Boos, their energy will be different from that of the Evershade Valley ghosts.”

“Hm,” mused Luigi. “My younger self could use the extra company. As you recall, I was a bit of a nervous wreck back then. Perhaps that night could play out a little differently—but not _too_ differently, I hope.”

“Relax—Gooigi’s not gonna mess up the space-time continuum,” laughed Gadd.

“How does Gooigi feel about this?”

“He was pretty excited when I told him,” replied Gadd. “Right, Gooigi?”

“Right,” Gooigi piped up as he walked into the room. “Hey, Luigi. Are you seeing me off when I go back in time?”

“You’re leaving today?” asked Luigi.

“Yeah,” replied Gooigi. “The time machine is ready to go. Can’t you believe it, L—I’m gonna be a time-traveler!” He giggled.

“It’s exciting, but remember to focus,” said Gadd. “Your task is to not only help Luigi in the past, but also to capture as many ghosts as possible. I’ll check on your periodically, and when the job is done, I’ll recall you into the present.”

“Okeydokey,” said Gooigi.

“Take good care of my younger self,” said Luigi, “and make sure I rescue Mario. Because if something happens and _he_ has his way, then the course of history will change—for the worst.”

“Don’t worry,” smiled Gooigi. “With my help, the rescue mission will be easier than the first time around!”

Luigi relaxed before drawing Gooigi in for a hug.

“But for what it’s worth,” said Gooigi, “will I ever see you again—in the present?”

“Anything is possible,” Luigi assured him. “No doubt, our paths will cross again.”

“I have a feeling that you’re right,” murmured Gooigi before the two separated.

“Good luck,” said Luigi.

“Good luck to you, too,” said Gooigi.

Then, Gooigi took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and joined Gadd as he prepared his time machine.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Luigi said to Gadd. “Daisy finally made it into the Smash tournament. I promised that I’d meet up with her, Peach and Mario to get some practicing in. I’d better head over there. See ya, Professor.”

“See ya, youngster,” Gadd brightly replied.

Luigi exchanged a final nod with Gooigi before taking his leave.

**…**

“Is everything arranged?”

“Almost—give it another year, and we’ll be open for business.”

“That’s fine. I’ll happily wait a year—a hundred years, a thousand years—to finally have my revenge. I must say, I’m glad I came into contact with you.”

“And I, you, my King.”

“Him, his brother, his sort-of-sister-in-law and the Toad retainers, yes?”

“Indeed. Are you sure you don’t want his Princess, too? That would _really_ get to him.”

“I’ll have something better in store for her once we get _him_ out of the way.”

Laughter.

“Hang in there, my King. I’ll find a way to bust you out of there.”

“Fear not—I have an idea.”

“I’m listening.”

“We’ll have the Professor bring me right to you—and then we’ll turn the tables on him.”

“Mmm—I like that plan. Nobody but you can dream up things like that.”

“This is my endgame, Ms. G. And I’m honored to share it with you.”

“Sit tight. I’ll let you know when everything is in place.”

“Very well. I can’t wait to meet you in person.”

“Likewise.”

The King hung up and allowed himself a smile. Sweet freedom was just around the corner…


	4. Touch the Hem of His Garment

**Whoa, there was a woman in the Bible days  
She had been sick,  
Sick so very long  
But she heard 'bout Jesus was passin' by  
So she joined the gathering throng  
And while she was pushing her way through  
Someone asked her "What are you trying to do?"  
She said "If I could just touch the hem of his garment I know I'll be made whole"**

**She cried "Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
And "Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
"Oh Lord Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
And "Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
Said "If I could just touch the hem of his garment I know I'll be made whole"**

**And whoa, she spent her money  
Here and there  
Until she had no,  
Had no more to spare  
The doctors, they done all they could  
But their medicine would do no good  
When she touched him, the Savior didn't see  
But still he turned around and cried "Somebody touched me"  
She said "It was I who just wanna touch the hem of your garment  
I know I'll be made whole right now"**

**She stood there cryin' "Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
"Oh Lord" and "Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
"Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
And "Oh Lord" (Oh Lord)  
Said "If I could just touch the hem of your garment  
I know I'll be made whole right now"**

**-Sam Cooke, “Touch the Hem of His Garment”**

**_October 2019_ **

In the early hours of the morning, a specially-chartered bus eased onto the expressway, quickly settling into a consistent speed of 65mph. The bus’s occupants consisted of five half-asleep but excited passengers, plus one fully awake driver, all of them armed with luggage. Ahead of them, the eastern part of the sky lightened into a beautiful pink as the dawn broke. But if they wanted to reach their destination by sundown, then they had to leave this early.

Oldies tunes played on the stereo as a Toad retainer by the name of Thad sat in the driver’s seat, casually guiding the bus through the early morning traffic. For a Thursday morning, it wasn’t too crowded. But the question was—how was Thad even _driving_? Due to his diminutive stature, his feet barely touched the pedals, and his line of vision was just above the steering wheel. Yet here he was, maneuvering the bus down the freeway like a professional driver.

The bus’s other occupants didn’t seem to mind Thad’s driving. Peach sat in the front row, having swapped her usual pink gown for more travel-worthy attire. Namely, a sleeveless, midriff-baring pink top and pink leggings, her hair in an informal ponytail, and sneakers on her feet. Mario sat next to her, clad in his usual getup, the two of them exchanging loving smiles. Two more Toad retainers sat behind them, a Blue Toad and a Yellow Toad. The former’s name was Brad, and the latter’s name was Chad, and both were absorbed in a game on Brad’s Nintendo Switch, hoping that the activity would help wake them up.

In the row beside them sat Luigi, his seatbelt on and his seat reclined, earbuds in as he listened to his own music. Polterpup was curled up in the seat beside him, his tail wagging in anticipation. Lazily, the man in green allowed one hand to sift through the puppy’s “fur”, the two of them enjoying the view—and the sunrise—in silence.

It wasn’t long before the traffic lightened up, and the bus seemed to soar down the expressway as the passengers shook off the last of their sleepiness. About three hours in, Thad stopped at a McDonald’s drive-thru, where they ordered McCafé lattes and croissant sandwiches. The breakfast break served to perk them up further, and by the time the sun reached its zenith, everyone was singing along to the music on the stereo.

Shortly after 3p.m., the bus pulled off the freeway and started down a long, winding road, approaching a mountain range. It occurred to them that they were currently the only vehicle driving on this road. That was fine by them. Leaning back in their seats, they allowed the tranquil scenery to relax them. Luigi even dozed off several times.

Soon, the bus’s gas tank was half-empty. Luckily, Thad saw a gas station up ahead, and beside it was a sleepy little diner. After refueling the bus, everyone disembarked and headed inside the diner for a bite to eat.

“I still can’t believe it,” said Peach as they chowed down on their food. “This brand-new hotel is having its grand opening, and the proprietor personally invited us.”

“You’re right,” said Mario, “it’s pretty surreal.”

“I could use the vacation,” said Peach. “Ruling over a kingdom is huge work. Not to mention having to deal with that turtle every Tuesday and Friday!”

“I’m with you there, Peachy. It’s taxing being a hero—but I love every minute of it.”

“Still—a little respite from it would be nice,” said Peach. “It’s a chance to just sit back and concentrate on—us.”

“Yeah,” Mario solemnly murmured. “Us.”

Peach tilted her head. “A Star for your thoughts?”

“It’s been two years,” said Mario, “and I still feel horrible over how I acted on the Moon. How I just assumed that you’d agree to marry me just because I…”

“Hey,” Peach said softly. “You were childish and immature, but you learned from your mistake, and I’ve forgiven you for it.”

“I still wanna make it up to you.”

“Well,” Peach said craftily, “if you feel that bad about it, then you’ll have the next couple of nights to make it up to me.” She winked, and Mario blushed.

Luigi felt a slight pang of envy as he watched them. How come the hotel didn’t see fit to invite Daisy? His Flower Princess had called and assured him that it was okay, that she was far too busy to join him on this trip, but it didn’t stop him from feeling bad. He began making plans to whisk Daisy away on a vacation of their own, just the two of them.

“Hey, Luigi,” said Mario. “How do you plan on spending this vacation?”

“Treating myself to some ‘me’ time,” Luigi replied. “I hope they have a gym where I can work out to my heart’s content. Oh, and a spa, where I can decompress afterwards.”

“Luigi, you had me at ‘spa’!” laughed Thad.

“My rule of thumb is—no stress and no negative vibes,” Luigi went on.

“Hear, hear,” said Peach.

A waitress walked over to their table. “How’s everybody doing?” she asked.

“We’re doing great,” replied Luigi. “Just passing through, actually.”

“We’re on our way to a hotel that just opened its doors,” added Chad. “It’s called The Last Resort or something.”

“The Last Resort,” repeated the waitress, clucking her tongue. “I’ve absolutely heard of that place. They say that once you set foot in that posh hotel—you’ll _never_ want to leave.”

She smiled an enigmatic smile before checking on the other patrons.

“Never want to leave?” Peach shrugged. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

After ordering a refill of their drinks to go, the sextet paid their bill, piled back into the bus and resumed their journey, singing and bopping along to “In My Feelings”.

Eventually, Luigi’s head lolled to the side, and he drowsed off. Brad and Chad busied themselves by tossing a baseball back and forth. And Mario and Peach were engaged in a steamy make-out session, kissing, touching and caressing. Luckily, the two retainers were wearing headphones.

“You might want to save some of that energy for after we get checked in,” Peach said flirtily as Mario’s gloved hand dipped under her top and teased at the waistband of her leggings. However, she allowed his hand to slide beneath her pants and explore the treasures hidden beneath her panties.

His fingers met her special spot, eliciting a tiny “Oooh…” from her. Mario always knew how to make his Princess tick. Taking her mouth in his for another kiss, he discreetly rubbed her again and again and again in deep, sensual circles. He could feel the passion building within her as her breaths deepened; he could see her love for him in her eyes. He put his mouth to her ear and whispered to her in his native tongue while his fingers continued their ministrations. And just as he was about to tip her over, he stopped, slowly withdrawing his hand from her as she caught her breath.

“Soon,” he gently promised her, kissing her on the forehead. “Soon.”

The bus gave a sudden lurch, and the little man wound up with his face in her warm, pillowy bosom.

“Sorry, guys,” apologized Thad.

“That’s quite all right, Thad,” said Mario, taking his old, sweet time in straightening back up in his seat.

“I think I’m starting to get a little tired,” mused Thad. “Good thing we’re only a few short minutes away.”

He took a curve a little too sharply, jolting Luigi awake.

“What the…?!” he exclaimed, his voice a bit slurred from sleep.

“My bad,” said Thad.

Luigi settled down and gave a big yawn. His hand landed on one of his suitcases, causing Polterpup to materialize, an invitation to the hotel in his mouth.

“How did you get ahold of that?” asked Luigi.

Polterpup just stared at him with big, innocent eyes.

“May I have it back, please?”

Polterpup tilted his head mischievously to the side, but he eventually relinquished the invitation to Luigi, who studied it with a dreamy sigh. A vacation in an upscale hotel was a one-in-a-million opportunity for someone like him.

His ghost puppy licking his cheek brought him out of his thoughts, and he put the invitation away in order to give Polterpup some love. He nuzzled his cheek against the pup’s as he petted him, and when Polterpup rolled onto his back, Luigi lavished him with belly rubs. Joyful little barks and doggie kisses were his reward.

“It’s okay, doggie,” he said. “We’re almost there.”

True to his word, the hotel soon came into view, and he gazed at the shiny, 15-story building in wonder. “Whoa…” he breathed.

Thad guided the bus to a rather turbulent stop at the hotel’s drop-off and valet area. Collective sighs of relief arose as everyone filed out of the vehicle.

“Thank God!” exclaimed Chad. “I gotta take a [bleep]!”

“We gotta help Peach with her luggage first,” said Brad, removing several carnation-pink totes from the luggage rack.

“Right,” said Chad, following suit. “Geez, how come she’s packed so much junk?”

Mario helped Peach disembark, and the two of them walked toward the hotel entrance, arm-in-arm. Brad and Chad tottered after them, bearing armfuls of luggage. Thad hopped out of the driver’s seat and hurried to catch up with his fellow retainers. And Luigi carefully disembarked with his own luggage before stretching his legs, with Polterpup close behind, happily prancing about.

As Polterpup dashed off to join the others, Luigi scored a better look at the colossal skyscraper he’d call home for the next few days. It was almost as tall as the Empire State Building, and it’s design was similar, too. And the building was painted in a splendid golden color, allowing it to catch the sun’s rays.

The sight of this elegant complex took Luigi’s breath away. It was as if it was actually inviting him inside.

“Wowie-zowie…” he uttered.

This was definitely gonna be a vacation to remember!


	5. Style

It was as if he was stepping into the getaway of his dreams.

Polterpup at his heels, Luigi pushed through the door of the Last Resort to find the lobby as brilliantly gold as the building’s exterior. A buffet of sweets, drinks and hors d’eurves was set out for him and the others, and a pink, white and purple banner was draped above the front desk. And in front of that banner were four large medallions—the first one bearing Thad’s icon, the second one bearing Luigi’s, the third one bearing Mario’s and the fourth one bearing Peach’s. Ribbons and confetti shot into the air, heralding the six guests’ arrival.

“Here I go!” exclaimed Mario, hurrying over to the dessert table.

Luigi headed over there, too.

“Hey, Bro!” greeted Mario. “This place is really rolling out the welcome mat for us!”

“You said it,” agreed Luigi, picking out a few cookies.

Mario, however, settled for levering out a slice of one of the cakes. But just as the slice was on his plate, Polterpup snatched it up, devouring it in one gulp.

“Polterpup!” chided both Bros.

Polterpup just grinned.

“Sorry,” said Luigi.

“That’s okay,” Mario said brightly, helping himself to another slice.

Quickly, Luigi hurried Polterpup away before he could eat that one, too.

A pile of roses was on one table, surrounded by boxed gifts. Polterpup wasted no time playing in that pile, while Luigi approached a hotel employee, who was inexplicably wearing a mask.

“Is something the matter?” asked the employee. “I hope nothing is making your stay less than perfect.”

“Everything’s fine,” Luigi replied. “Thank you.”

“Phew—good!” laughed the employee. “We’re devoted to providing you with the ideal vacation experience!”

Luigi made a little face at the employee before heading over to check on the three Toad retainers. He heard a soft chuckle behind him, but he chose to dismiss it.

Thad, Brad and Chad were stacking up Peach’s luggage, joking among themselves.

“You guys need help?” asked Luigi.

“Nah—we’re fine,” said Thad. “Thanks, though.”

“Timber!” warned Chad as a stack of luggage came tumbling down.

Thad and Brad leaped aside just in time.

“Instead of a few tall stacks, how about arranging them into several smaller stacks?” suggested Luigi.

“I was actually just gonna say that,” said Thad. “Thanks again, Luigi. We’ll take it from here.”

“Okeydokey.”

Luigi joined Peach at one of the buffet tables, picking out two croissant sandwiches and some deviled eggs.

“This hotel is so big, Luigi,” said Peach. “It’s gorgeously decorated, too! We’re so lucky to have been invited here!”

“I’ll say,” said Luigi.

Peach popped a deviled egg into her mouth. “Why are they wearing masks, though?” she queried.

“Beats me,” shrugged Luigi.

“And—we’re the only ones here at the moment,” Peach went on. “Don’t you find that—strange?”

“Maybe—this is a private affair before the hotel officially opens to the public,” said Luigi.

“Hm. Maybe,” echoed Peach.

Thad, Chad and Brad arranged Peach’s luggage into neat rows, and then they, too, helped themselves to the buffet.

Once Luigi and the others were sufficiently filled up on sandwiches, appetizers and sweets, they all lined up at the front desk, where another employee swung around to greet them.

“Seriously—what’s with the masks?” asked Luigi, a slightly perturbed look on his face.

The employee didn’t answer the question. 

“Welcome, guests, to The Last Resort!” he greeted. “My name’s Steward, and I’ll be taking care of you for the duration of your stay! Are you ready to check in?”

“Yes, we are,” Luigi replied, his gaze still wary.

“That’s what I like to hear!” Steward said brightly. “Please direct your attention to the balcony, and meet our wonderful proprietor.”

The six guests looked up and saw a stunningly beautiful woman standing there. Her blue hair was styled in a beehive, dark shades covered her eyes and she was clad in an elegant white gown with a blue fur stole.

“Wonderful—our first official guests!” gushed the woman. “My name is Hellen Gravely, and I own this hotel.”

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Gravely,” Peach intoned with a curtsy.

“Please, call me Hellen. We’re going to know each other well over the next few days, after all.” Hellen smiled. “I’m absolutely delighted that you’ve all decided to accept my invitation!”

“So are we,” said Luigi.

Hellen glided down the steps and approached Luigi. “You all must be very tired,” she observed.

“We are,” Mario spoke up. “We’ve been on the road since early this morning.”

“Trust me—this hotel will be worth the long drive,” grinned Hellen. “Come—I’ll show you to your rooms.”

Resigned, Thad, Brad and Chad walked toward Peach’s luggage, only for Hellen to stop them with a gesture. “No worries—our exceptional staff will take care of your luggage,” she said.

The Toad retainers sighed in relief as Steward placed everyone’s bags onto luggage racks and loaded them onto the elevator.

“You’re our VIPs, after all,” Hellen went on, leaning toward Luigi and beginning to powder her face. “We’ve prepared a first-rate experience for you—all the _trappings_ of luxury.” She laughed. “Shall we get going?”

Luigi turned his face away, making sure to sneeze into his elbow as Hellen’s powder tickled his sinuses. “Yeah—let’s go,” he replied.

“Do you guys have a spa?” asked Peach. “And a gym?”

“We do, actually,” replied Hellen. “The Last Resort has everything your heart desires.” She looked over the Mushroom Princess as she spoke.

“As soon as I get settled in, I’m booking a facial for tomorrow,” said Peach as they all walked into the elevator, which whisked them up to the fifth floor.

“Okay,” said Hellen when they stepped out of the elevator. “Mario, Peach and Luigi—your rooms are to your right. Thad, Brad and Chad—your rooms are to your left.”

“Wait a sec,” said Mario. “Aren’t we supposed to get room keys?”

“No—I want you to visit each other, if you so desire,” said Hellen. “I hope you enjoy your stay—I daresay you’ll remember it for the rest of your lives!”

“We’re gonna hold you to that,” said Peach.

“Don’t hesitate to give us a holler if you need anything,” said Hellen.

“Will do,” said Luigi. “Thank you, Hellen.”

“Thank _you_ ,” Hellen cryptically replied as she withdrew.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m beat,” said Thad. “Let’s all spend the night in our rooms, and then meet up tomorrow morning for breakfast.”

“Good plan,” said Peach.

“Okeydokey,” said Mario.

“All right,” said Luigi.

“Sounds good,” Brad and Chad said in unison.

“See ya,” said Thad as he and the other two Toads scurried off to their rooms.

Peach and the Bros then turned to each other.

“See you in the morning, Luigi,” said Peach.

“Likewise,” nodded Luigi.

“Night-night,” Mario said softly.

Luigi smiled at him. “Night-night,” he said.

He walked over to the door of his room, pushed it open and stepped inside, while Polterpup simply jumped through the wall.

“Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, Peachy,” said Mario. “I just need to take a shower. And don’t worry…” He winked. “It won’t be a cold one.”

Peach giggled in response.

The two shared a kiss before they, too, ventured into their rooms.

**Midnight,  
You come and pick me up, no headlights  
Long drive,  
Could end in burning flames or paradise  
Fade into view, oh, it's been a while since I have even heard from you (heard from you)  
  
I should just tell you to leave 'cause I  
Know exactly where it leads but I  
Watch us go 'round and 'round each time  
  
You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye  
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time  
'Cause we never go out of style  
We never go out of style  
  
You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt  
And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time  
'Cause we never go out of style  
We never go out of style.  
  
So it goes  
He can't keep his wild eyes on the road  
Takes me home  
Lights are off, he's taking off his coat, hmm, yeah.  
I say, "I heard, oh, that you've been out and about with some other girl, some other girl."  
  
He says, "What you've heard is true but I  
Can't stop thinking about you," and I...  
I said, "I've been there, too, a few times."  
  
'Cause you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye  
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time  
'Cause we never go out of style  
We never go out of style  
  
You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt  
And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt (tight little skirt)  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time  
'Cause we never go out of style  
We never go out of style  
  
Take me home  
Just take me home, yeah.  
Just take me home  
(out of style)  
  
You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye  
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time  
'Cause we never go out of style  
We never go out of style**

**-Taylor Swift, “Style”**


	6. That's Heaven to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains strong sexual content. You have been warned!

**The things that I see  
As I walk along the streets  
That's heaven to me**

**A little flower that blooms in May  
A lovely sunset at the end of a day  
Someone helping a stranger along the way  
(That's heaven to me)  
That's heaven to me**

**The feeling I have when I hear a touching prayer  
It makes me know, the Lord is somewhere  
Even the birds flying around in the air  
(That's heaven to me)  
That's heaven to me, no**

**It doesn't have to be a miracle  
In order for me to see, I know  
The goodness of my, my Savior  
Is everywhere to me, woah, woah, woah**

**Even the children playing in the street  
Sing a friendly hello to everyone that they meet  
Even the leaves blowing out, blowing out  
Blowing out, blowing out on the tree  
(That's heaven to me)  
That's heaven to me, woah, woah**

**Woah woah, woah woah, woah Lord**

**-Sam Cooke, “That’s Heaven to Me”**

Luigi stood in the middle of his suite, taking everything in. A soft, king-size bed, a flat screen TV, several charging ports, a minibar, two bottles of sweet wine on ice, a gift basket and a variety of sodas. There were boxed gifts stacked in a neat pile near the door to the patio, and the suite was also decorated with balloons. Floor-to-ceiling windows provided a lovely view of the mountains around the hotel. And on the nightstand was a Bluetooth-compatible LED clock and music player. Luigi’s cheeks ached from smiling so much. He truly felt like an A-list celebrity. And wasn’t he already a celebrity—at least in the MK?

He placed his suitcases on the bed and started unpacking. First were his clothes—several pairs of his regular ensemble, a couple of suits, leggings, muscle shirts and tank tops for whenever he wanted to hit the gym, and several pairs of swimming briefs. Then came his toiletries and bath accessories, followed by his shaving materials, a few bottles of cologne and some body lotion. Next, he unpacked his Nintendo Switch and the snacks he’d brought with him. Finally, he took out his flashlight and placed it on the nightstand, because you never know.

After leaning the now-empty suitcases against the wall, Luigi strode over to the closet and opened it, only for a spring-loaded smiley-face to pop out.

“Whoa!” Luigi exclaimed, jumping back with a laugh. “Okay—that’s—new.”

He neatly hung up his clothes before taking his toiletries into the bathroom. And what a bathroom it was! They had lotion, shaving cream, body wash, shampoo and conditioner, bar soap—even a bath soak and a shower cap. Washcloths, hand towels and bath towels were arranged in a neat stack on an ottoman, and there was a decent-sized whirlpool bath. Luigi let out a tiny giggle as he examined everything.

Luigi had hardly finished putting everything away when Polterpup scampered over, craving attention.

“Oh, puppy,” he said as he knelt down and petted the ghost doggie. “It’s been a long trip. I hope you understand.”

Polterpup licked his cheek, as if in agreement.

“I need to go freshen up,” Luigi went on. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Polterpup woofed happily.

He’d enjoy the Jacuzzi later. Throwing off his clothes, Luigi instead opted for a cool, invigorating shower, lathering himself with his favorite body wash and doing the same with his hair using his favorite shampoo. He sighed pleasurably as he stood under the cool spray of water, rubbing the shower pouf across his skin in practiced circles. Usually, he’d lather up more than once, but he didn’t want Polterpup getting anxious. He rinsed off the soap and shampoo, turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. He dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist, combed his hair, put on his signature green cap and dressed in a pair of blue leggings and a New York Knicks T-shirt.

Polterpup was waiting for Luigi when he walked out of the bathroom, standing up on his hind legs.

“Okeydokey,” Luigi said brightly, dropping to his knees and lightly scratching the top of Polterpup’s head. “Now you have my full attention.”

**…**

On the other hand, Peach was making good use of the Jacuzzi in her own suite, relaxing in a bath enhanced with rose and vanilla-scented bath beads. She held her favorite paperback in one hand while fondling herself with the other, her fingers tracing along one breast, and then the other, skimming the pads of her thumbs along her nipples. The Mushroom Princess turned the page, biting her lip as she reached a steamy scene in which the heroine was deflowered by her love interest. She could already imagine Mario doing those delicious things to her.

_Mario, Mario, Mario_ , she thought as she traced the buds of her nipples one last time before moving her free hand down her body. _He certainly isn’t the hero you read about in a fairy tale, but he’s a d—n good hero. And he’s_ my _hero_. Her eyes ate up every word on the paperback’s succeeding pages, imagining her and Mario in place of the romantic leads. Warm heat began to pulse between her legs, and she swallowed back a gasp, beginning to rub herself as she avidly read on.

Water started to slosh as her hips jerked forward and back to match her hand’s slow and steady motions. Her mind took the words from the paperback and crafted them into a crystal clear image of her and Mario on the suite’s soft king bed, acting out the very things being described. Pleasure sizzled along her every nerve, and her breath quickened, an ecstatic sensation building up within her. It was like seeing him standing there in that reptile’s castle after a hard-won battle, the sweat and bruises and blood and smudges of dirt on him always failing to eclipse his handsomeness, when she knew that everything would be all right. So many rescues. Thirty-five years of rescues. Any other “damsel in distress” would’ve gone insane, but not Peach. Not as long as she had Super Mario.

She allowed two fingers to slide inside her, pumping slowly but sensually. The intense pleasure swelled like a cresting wave. The words on the page were blurred before her eyes—now, all she was thinking about was Mario—his eyes, his face, his voice, his touch, his always-joyful outlook even after what he’d faced and—and the way he could effortlessly hoist a reptilian monarch a few centimeters off the ground and swing him around by his tail. Her grip on the paperback slackened, and she reached up with a shaky arm and placed it on the rack above her before she could drop it into the bathwater.

The hand that had held the paperback resumed fondling her breasts. By now, all of her body’s senses were heightened, all of her nerves firing rapidly as a result of her self-ministrations. Her skin flushed, and her head lolled back, her eyes staring at the ceiling while her left hand caressed her domes and her right hand stroked her peach folds, small noises escaping her lips as the sensations threatened to swamp her.

Peach continued with this until she was teetering over the edge, only to pull herself back at the last possible second. She was priming herself for Mario’s visit, after all. Slowly, she slid her fingers out of herself and allowed her other hand to trail along her body one last time before she sat back to rest. Thoughts of her hero in red continued buzzing in her mind, and then she began thinking about that fateful night on the Moon. The day had been saved, and a royal wedding she didn’t want had been nipped in a bud—only for Mario to shove a flower in her face, inexplicably assuming that she wanted to rush to the altar with _him_ , just because he rescued her. The sight of Mario and Koopa childishly fighting over her like a prize had sickened her, and she didn’t hesitate to let them know! Mario had apologized afterward, but things just weren’t the same between them. She couldn’t believe he’d act like that—he was no better than that fiendish Koopa at that moment. The subject of marriage hadn’t come up once until that point, and that was fine with them. There wasn’t a law saying that they had to get married just because they were in love. Because when it came to marriage, sometimes, love just wouldn’t be enough.

After everything settled down from that little _odyssey_ , Peach had a long talk with Mario about the stunt he’d pulled. Mario had sat with his eyes downcast, listening to her words. And she’d pointed out that she wasn’t ready for that type of commitment—and neither was he. She didn’t try to sugarcoat anything, but they both knew she was telling the truth. Afterward, life went on, the latest Smash Bros tournament arrived, and that godforsaken reptile settled back into his routing of “visiting” every Tuesday or Friday (or every Tuesday and Friday), but the events on the Moon were something neither of them would entirely forget.

Luckily, the invite to this swanky new hotel had come along. And some time away from their day-to-day adventures would be just what Mario and Peach needed to truly get back on track.

With a small smile, Peach reached over and grabbed one of the vibrators she’d packed with her, turning the device onto its lowest setting. Deliberately, she ran the vibrator along the underside of her breasts, and then traced a circle around them, starting at the base and working her way up to the peaks, making sure to massage the hardened buds. Then, she skimmed the wand along the rest of her upper body, and then down, and then back up, and then down—again and again and again until she couldn’t take anymore, quickly pulling the toy away before she could explode.

She finished her bath, allowing her respiration to return to normal. Once the buzzing in her nerves had settled down, Peach turned off the whirlpool mechanism, climbed out of the Jacuzzi and drained the water. After drying herself and fixing her hair, she walked out of the bathroom, pulled on a pink, see-through, sleeveless negligee and settled into her bed.

Faintly, she could hear soft grunting and sighing from Mario’s room, and she smiled. She knew that he was also _getting ready_. After connecting her phone to the Bluetooth speaker, she opened one of her favorite music apps and selected a playlist appropriate for the occasion.

The anticipation made her moist all over again, but she didn’t have long to wait. She’d just reached for an egg-shaped toy on her nightstand when she heard the knock on her door.

“Peachy?” asked Mario.

“Come in,” said Peach, stashing the egg into her drawer.

She heard the door open, and then Mario strode in, the hint of a red blush on his cheeks. He bit his lip as he looked her over, feeling his Mushroom straining against his overall pants. Indicating her nightie, he cooed, “That won’t be necessary.”

“I know,” Peach said seductively, sitting up and beginning to pull the garment over her head, drawing it out for as long as she could. Once divested of the nightie, she tossed it aside and allowed both hands to play with her breasts, staring deeply into Mario’s eyes as she did.

“ _Dio_ …” gasped Mario, watching as Peach’s fingers skimmed her own nude body and caressed her mound. His own fingers trembled as he pulled off his boots and socks and unbuttoned his coveralls, tossing them next to Peach’s negligee. His red shirt followed seconds later, and just when he was about to push his briefs over his hips—

“Let me help you with that,” said Peach, her voice jerking with excitement.

Eagerly, Mario joined his Princess on the bed, their mouths welding together in a passionate kiss. Her dainty hands slipped under the waistband of his undies and eased them off his body before casually dropping them to the floor. His now-Mega Mushroom rubbed against her belly, just under her navel, and she rolled her abdomen against it, watching his eyes roll back in pleasure.

“ _Principessa_ ,” he said softly. “ _La mia Principessa_.”

She kissed him again and then lay back on the bed, the golden light around them dancing about her skin, her golden hair splayed against the pillow. She looked like a goddess. She _was_ a goddess.

_His_ goddess.

Leaning down, Mario commenced to worship his Peach’s lovely body, starting with her perfectly-shaped breasts, which quivered as he kissed them. He spilled soft kisses all over both domes and used his lips to caress those pink, erected buds. A long, breath escaped Peach, encouraging him. And so he took one breast into his mouth and started to suck.

“Mario— _Mario_ …”

As he sucked, he swirled his tongue around and around her nipple, something he knew always drove her wild. His thumb gave her other nipple some attention, deliberately and unrelentingly skimming the bud. He heard her breath quicken, and he heard incoherent syllables leaving her lips.

That was a good sign.

His mouth released her breast before ministering to her other breast, his sucks taking on a distinct rhythm, his ears drinking in all of the sensual sounds she made. The ache down there was getting unbearable, but it would just have to wait. What he was currently doing was more important than the coupling itself.

His suckling ceased, and he withdrew his mouth while still keeping his tongue on her nipple, flicking it with feathery strokes.

“Mario—oh, my God…”

And Mario kept going, doing the same to the other nipple, alternating between them until he gazed into Peach’s eyes and saw them dilating. He gave her a seductive smile, wet his lips and went back to peppering her domes with slow, sweet kisses, not stopping until they were kiss-swollen.

They’d now come to the fun part.

He placed a line of kisses down the valley between her breasts and kissed his way down her stomach before pausing at her mound. His hands slid under her lower back, lifting her hips, and then he rounded his lips, pointed them at the soft skin, and blew.

“Please—I need…”

Gently, he shushed her. “I know what you need,” he said, planting a litany of kisses on her mound.

Reaching her Warp Pipe, he licked her moist peach folds once, twice, three times—until she was breathing in staccato gasps. After giving her folds a lingering kiss, he eased his tongue into her and began to lick, his head bobbing in an up and down motion as he tasted his Peach.

Peach’s hips shuddered as they matched the tongue’s movements, her fingers softly entangling in her hero’s wavy, chocolate brown hair as he tended to her with his mouth. Her face and body was now a distinct rosy color, Mario’s tongue landing precise hits on the “?” block that was her special spot and collecting all of the coins and power-ups within. Steadily, Mario increased his pace while making sure not to hurt her. He never wanted to cause her any discomfort.

“So good, Mario—that feels so good,” gasped Peach. Everything about this man made her feel good, from his attitude to his confidence to his presence and the way he carried himself. Though his naivete often left something to be desired, he didn’t rescue her just because she gave him free cake afterward. He rescued her because he knew it was right, and that he truly liked spending time with her.

Spurred by her words, Mario plunged his tongue deeper and deeper into her core, feeling her walls heave and her skin ripple with tremors. The sounds of his licks and slurps mixed with the pleasured sounds Peach continued to make. Both of their hearts were beating faster and faster. It had been quite a while since they’d coupled like this.

“God…” uttered Peach, her voice a bit raspy as she held in the sensations raging inside her. How come this felt like their very first time? Perhaps they were truly reconnecting after that disaster on the Moon. Perhaps—and then his tongue was undulating within her, chasing those thoughts away, and all she knew was wetness and sensation and his warm breath and the pleasure he was giving her.

Her hands gripped the bedsheets as her body thrummed, and that heightened awareness swooped back over her. The soft mattress and pillows. The smell of the bedsheets. The music playing on her phone. Her fingers sifting through Mario’s hair. Her pelvis rubbing against his forehead. His soft, feathery ’stache teasing her folds while his tongue was so deep in her, still undulating away. His blue eyes, shining with love and desire for her. Her own voice, gasping and sighing and moaning and occasionally uttering his name. And the heat beginning to settle over her skin.

“So—close—Mario…”

Her toes curled, and she was inches away from erupting—but then Mario stopped and carefully slid his tongue out of her, licking his lips and savoring her taste. “Not yet,” he said teasingly, kissing the inside of her thigh.

His tongue was replaced with his pointer and middle fingers, pumping tortuously slow while he rubbed her with his thumb. He eased himself over her and took her mouth in his for a deep kiss. And then he kissed down her neck and across her collarbone before he—

“Hold on, _amore_ ,” he whispered before his warm, wet kisses once again attacked her breasts.

“Ohhh…” Peach moaned in response.

A light film of sweat had materialized on her rosy skin, resulting in pleasant waves of warmth and coolness against Mario’s lips. He timed his pumping fingers with his slow, sweet kisses, striving to draw out the experience for as long as he could.

“Mmmm…”

His other hand softly stroked Peach’s hair, tucking loose strands behind her ears. He chuckled as her hips swiveled in slow, steamy circles, matching his fingers’ pace. The pleasurable sensations he gave her settled down, and then began to swell again. Those fingers plunging so deep, his mouth with those kisses, his—

Just as her walls were about to squeeze his fingers, they stopped pumping and then slid from her, though he didn’t stop lavishing those kisses on her domes.

“Please, Mario,” she gasped. “I need to…”

He soothed her by kissing those pink buds, now glistening in the golden light. Her breaths deepened, and then the tip of his tongue traced one nipple, and then the other.

“Oh—oh, my…”

He kissed up, down, around and between her breasts, her deep breathing and her voice nearly driving him to the edge, as well. One kiss lingered for a few seconds, and then he dragged his mouth toward her abdomen and belly, assailing both with open-mouthed kisses and brushstroke-like licks. He kissed along each muscle of her abs, kissed her navel, kissed her hips. When he was done thoroughly kissing her, he propped himself up and studied her.

Peach’s eyes were blue-black, smoldering into him. Her hair still fanned along the pillow. Her lips were parted, slightly quivering, and that sheen of sweat coated her. Her chest heaved, her navel wriggling with her breaths, and her domes—they were practically dancing from the attention he gave them.

He drank all of her in, silently thanking God for having such a woman enter his life, gentle, kind, and beautiful inside as well as out.

“Peachy—I love you so much,” he said.

“I love you, too,” replied Peach.

Then, Mario blushed. “Did—did you bring…?”

“I did,” said Peach, opening her drawer and taking out two items. The first was a bottle of lotion, and the second was a—jacket—for Mario’s Mega Mushroom. She placed the _jacket_ under the spare pillow next to her and gave Mario the lotion.

He flipped open the cap, squirted some lotion onto his palm and massaged it into Peach’s skin, starting with her neck and shoulders and gradually moving lower and lower. The lotion smelled heavenly, and it was just one of their favorite scents. Peach closed her eyes as those soft hands massaged lower and lower, cupping her mound, teasing at her folds—

Fresh pleasure jolted down her veins as one lotion-slick hand sheathed into her. Her eyes snapped open, and then the hand began to move, in and out and in and out and in and out—

“Mario! Holy [bleep]!” Rather undignified words leaped from Peach’s lips as her hips snapped forward to meet his hand. “Holy f—ing God, Mario. I’m gonna [bleep]. I’m gonna [bleep]. I’m gonna…”

“Not yet,” Mario said again, slowing his pace and then stopping. “Soon.” He withdrew his hand, and then they came together in another searing kiss. “You’ll thank me later.”

“Wait,” said Peach.

“Wha…?”

“I can’t describe how good you made me feel,” Peach said softly. “Let me do the same for you.”

Mario understood instantly. “Okeydokey,” he said.

He lay on his back and closed his eyes, and then Peach took the bottle of lotion and applied a fair-sized amount to her palm. She kissed his forehead, and then his nose, before rubbing the lotion onto his body, using smooth, circular motions. The pads of her thumbs teased his pecs, and she made sure to explore every last muscle of his upper body with her fingers. He groaned softly in response, but Peach was just getting started.

When her hands came upon his pulsating shroom, she laid it along the flat of one hand while softly stroking it with the other, causing his breath to hitch.

“Ready?” asked Peach.

Mario just moaned.

Closing both hands around the shroom, she gave it a good, strong pump. And then another. And another. And another. And another…

…until his head was flung back and he breathed in deep gasps. Peach giggled, continuing to do for him what he just did for her, both releasing the sexual tension that had clung to them for so long. Both hands pumped and pumped away, holding nothing back. Deep gasps turned into pants and grunts. His brow was wrinkled with pleasure, his voice whispering encouraging words to her in Italian. His whole body shuddered, and he didn’t know if he could hold on—

Then, she slowed her pace, leaned down and covered his chest and abdomen with sweet, soft kisses, eliciting sighs from him. She traced his abs with her tongue before doing the same to his pecs, finishing by teasing his nipples and kissing them madly. All the while, she continued to pump and caress the little man’s little man, intently watching him as he intently watched her.

“Peachy…” he groaned.

She smiled at him. “Watch this,” she said.

Pausing her ministrations, she took his shroom and sandwiched it between her breasts, beginning rock her upper body forward and back. As far as Mario was concerned, he was truly in Heaven.

“Peachy—Peachy—Peachy…” he said over and over as her domes enveloped all of him in a soft, warm embrace.

It was better than all of the rescues combined, all of the kisses and cakes and the couplings that followed the post-rescue parties. And it was all he could do not to unravel right then and there.

She continued her rocking motions, his hips rocking along with her, his shroom swelling and thickening and throbbing. He could swear he was about to reach his peak, but just as he did, Peach stopped, gave the shroom a light kiss and then straightened, stroking his cheek as both caught their breath.

“Never would’ve thought that,” gasped Mario.

“I wanted to try something new,” said Peach.

They kissed again, and then Peach retrieved the little jacket, unwrapped it, and eased it onto the shroom. Slowly, she lowered herself onto Mario with a soft sigh, his hands instantly flying to her hips as she began to wind them.

A growl of arousal escaped Mario as he watched Peach ride him, her breasts bouncing and jiggling as her hips gyrated faster and faster. His hands slid up her body and copped a feel of her domes, keeping time with her motions by flicking his thumbs over her pink buds again and again. He arched himself forward and up, allowing himself to sink as far into her as possible. The sounds of their moans and sighs floated about the suite, nearly drowning out the music still playing.

“Oh, yeah! It’s go time!” Mario suddenly exclaimed. “Ah—Peachy—that feels so great…”

He closed his eyes and gave another aroused growl. As Peach ground herself deeper into him, he could take no longer. With a deft motion, he flipped them over, taking his place atop her, thrusting deeply and passionately into her.

“Ohhh…” they both moaned.

Peach wrapped her arms around her plumber’s back, drawing him closer to her. Now, they were lined up perfectly—navel to navel, nipple to nipple. “Slow down, Mario,” she whispered.

Quickly, he obliged, and then paused. “Did I hurt you?” he asked with concern.

“You didn’t,” Peach assured him. “I just prefer…”

Mario smiled. “I see what you’re saying,” he said.

His thrusts started up again—smooth, slow and sensual undulations. “How’s that?” he asked.

“Better,” Peach managed to gasp.

They moved together atop the soft, sunlit bed, undulating together, the sensation of their bodies sliding against each other only enhancing the experience. Their lips sealed together in passionate kisses from time to time, desire pooling in the pits of their stomachs. Peach was aware of all of her nerves standing at attention—her abdominal muscles practically rippling with energy. And every muscle in Mario’s body was on high-alert as he made himself maintain that steady, measured pace. He was so deep in her, and she was starting to contract around him. He gazed into her half-lidded eyes and saw that her lips, now in a perfect “o”, were trembling. Her domes were beautifully flushed as they slid back and forth against his chest, and her hands were splayed on his back, her fingertips dancing against his spine.

“ _Ti amo_ , Peachy,” whispered Mario, now thrusting as deeply in her as he could go. “ _Ti amo troppo_.”

“I love you, too, Mario,” Peach whispered back. “No one can make me say otherwise. No one. No one. No one…”

His motions paused a second time as she was about to come undone, and he lavished her domes with another round of kissing as she made these soft sounds. There was so much they needed to explore before they reached that point.

He remained sheathed in her, waiting for her to settle down a bit, and then he moved again, slower, so that all of her could feel all of him and vise versa. He brought them both to their peaks and then back, again and again and again, drinking in all of the little details of her and inviting her to do likewise with him. There was nothing but softness, warmth, wetness, touches, love and gazes. Even as their hips started shuddering, they sought to hold in their explosions for as long as possible.

Their steamy game continued until they could hold back no longer. Their eyes locked as the floodgates crashed down, and they released together, screaming out the other’s name again and again. It was an ecstatic explosion which left their flushed and sweaty bodies trembling and made Stars explode in front of their eyes. Mario nearly unspooled a second time as jets of warm peach juice bathed his shroom, some of it even getting onto his stomach. He grabbed onto the mattress to keep himself from collapsing atop Peach, his hips slowly swiveling from the aftershocks.

“Oh, _Dio_ ,” he breathed. “Oh, Peachy…”

“Mario…” Peach lay back against her pillow, sated and spent. “That—was—amazing.”

“Told ya,” said Mario as he kissed her again.

He lay beside her, and both had to agree that this moment was better than the act itself—the quiet holding afterward, the peaceful oasis of a significant other’s arms. They listened to the sound of their breaths returning to normal and the birds chirping outside. Mario rested his head on Peach’s chest, hearing and feeling her heartbeat as her fingers played around in his hair.

“I love you so much, Peachy,” he said finally, “and no matter what, I’ll always be there for you.”

“I know, Mario,” said Peach. “I know.”

They lay there in silence, save for the chirping birds and their breathing and Peach’s playlist, cuddling tenderly.

Enjoying each other.

Surely, they didn’t need to be married in order to do that.


	7. Something Just Like This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains one minor drug reference.

Thad had invited Brad and Chad over to his room, and now the three of them were reclined on the bed, Thad signing into his Skype account and connecting with one of his friends.

Another Toad’s face popped onto the video feed. It was another one of Peach’s retainers, named Conrad. “Hey!” he greeted.

“Hey, Conrad!” Thad, Chad and Brad chirped in unison.

“I take it you all got in okay?” asked Conrad.

“We did,” said Thad. “We’re all relaxing in our hotel rooms.”

“Yeah,” Brad piped up. “It was a long trip.”

“Sorry you couldn’t come with us,” added Chad.

“That’s okay,” said Conrad. “I could have plenty of fun here in the MK.”

“So, Conrad,” said Brad. “Wanna have some long-distance fun? Wanna play a game?”

“Sure, I’m up for a game,” answered Conrad. “ _Smash Bros_? _Mario Kart_? _Mario Party_?”

“I was thinking something more—analog,” smiled Brad. “Mad Libs, perhaps?”

“Oh. My. God. I _love_ Mad Libs!” trilled Conrad. “Hold on!”

He dashed off, only to return with the aforementioned game. Chad, Thad and Brad took out their own copy of the game and placed it on the bed between them.

“Okay—let’s do an excusal from class,” said Conrad. “‘Please excuse blank, who is too blank to attend blank class’.”

Snickering among themselves, the Toads each grabbed a pencil and filled in the blanks. When they were finished, Conrad raised his head. “Who wants to go first?” he asked.

“I’ll go,” said Thad. “‘Please excuse Thad, who is too tipsy to attend sex-ed class’.”

Laughter.

“‘Please excuse Chad, who is too artistic to attend shop class’.”

“Really?” asked Conrad.

“That was all I could think of,” shrugged Chad.

“‘Please excuse Brad, who is too horny to attend trigonometry class’.”

The other Toads cracked up.

“‘Please excuse Conrad, who is too stoned to attend home ec class’.”

All of the Toads nearly fell over laughing.

“All right—that was the warm-up round,” said Conrad. He chose another slip of paper. “How about—we take turns filling this next one out?”

“Okay,” said Brad. “Wanna start us off?”

“Why not?”

Conrad began reading from the paper he’d selected. “‘It was a cloudy, cold November day. I woke up to the blank smell of blank roasting in the blank downstairs’. Chad?”

“Uh—how about ‘I woke up to the mouth-watering smell of Cornish game hens roasting in the family room downstairs’?”

“That’s pretty good,” said Conrad. “‘I blank-ed down the stairs to see if I could help blank the dinner’. Brad?”

“Let’s see. ‘I did the Harlem Shake down the stairs to see if I could help burn the dinner’.”

Snickers.

“‘My mom said, “See if blank needs a fresh blank”’. Thad?”

“‘My mom said, “See if Toadsworth needs a fresh blanket”’.”

“‘So I carried a tray of glasses full of blank into the blank. When I got there, I couldn’t believe my blank!’ Oh, it’s my turn. ‘So I carried a tray of glasses full of vodka into the lounge. When I got there, I couldn’t believe my eyes!’”

Conrad lowered the paper. “We’re down to the last sentence. ‘There were blanks blank-ing on the blank!’ Any takers?”

Thad smirked. “I’ll do it,” he said. “‘There were Koopa Troopas f—ing on the sofa!’”

“Thad!” Chad howled with laughter.

“Now _that_ I’d like to see,” said Brad.

The four Toads played a few more rounds of Mad Libs before Conrad checked his watch. “Oh, dear. I’d better get going. It’s almost time for our evening meeting,” he said.

“Thanks for playing with us,” said Thad.

“No problem,” said Conrad.

“Tell Toadsworth we said hello,” said Brad.

“Will do. See ya!” chirped Conrad.

“See ya,” said Thad before ending the Skype call.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m craving some chicken wings,” said Chad. “Does anyone want chicken wings?”

“Count me in!” Brad sang out.

“All right! Chicken wings!” cheered Thad.

Grinning, Chad dialed room service and ordered a large platter of wings with several dipping sauces. Then, he grabbed the remote, seeking out an entertaining program to watch on TV.

Fifteen minutes later, a knock on their door signaled the food’s arrival.

“Just leave it outside!” said Chad. To his buddies, he whispered, “I don’t want those guys coming in here. Not as long as they’re wearing those masks.”

“Amen,” said Thad.

Chad hopped out of the bed, walked to the door and opened it, wheeling the food service cart inside.

“Smells good,” said Brad.

“And they gave us free drinks! Cool!” Thad laughed.

After picking out an on-demand movie, the three Toads settled back with their chicken wings and dipping sauce, and they began to chow down.

**…**

Back in Peach’s room, she and Mario had just finished round two. Now, they exchanged soft kisses and touches, whispering sweet nothings. They were so in love, and they felt so intwined at this moment. No danger could ever pull them apart.

“I think we should book a couple’s spa day tomorrow,” said Peach. “Just the two of us, getting pampered, with no kidnapping plots and forced marriages to worry about.”

“Peachy, you had me at ‘couple’s spa day’,” smiled Mario. “And maybe the day after, we can explore the area together, sightsee, look for local attractions and eateries.”

Peach exhaled. “I could use a good hike,” she said.

“I just…” Mario held Peach in his arms. “I just want this to be about us. About starting over.”

“We never ended, Mario. I was p—ed at you for a long time over your actions on the Moon, but I didn’t wanna lose you.”

“Hey—you’ll never lose me. That’s a promise.” Mario stroked Peach’s hair. “And I know that things have been up and down for us recently, but I have a feeling that our moment’s coming, and when it does, everything’s gonna finally fall into place.”

“No doubt,” grinned Peach, and the two of them kissed.

They pulled apart at the knock on the door.

“Housekeeping!” called a voice.

“Yes?” Mario and Peach asked in unison.

“Hi!” the voice cheerily piped up. “My name’s Chambrea, but you can call me Brea. I’ll be tending to your suite’s needs during your stay. Is there anything I can help you with at the moment?”

“Well…” said Peach. “The bedsheets _do_ need changing. Hold on.”

The pair leaped out of the bed and wrestled into some clothes, Peach choosing a pair of pink lounge pants and a tank top, and Mario clad in red lounge pants and a T-shirt with the Statue of Liberty on it. After hurriedly pulling on some socks and shoes, Peach walked over to the door and looked through the peep hole.

“You can come in,” she said.

The door opened, and Chambrea walked—no, _glided_ —in, pushing a cart loaded with clean linen and cleaning supplies.

“I’m—sorry, but I just need to ask—why are you guys wearing masks?” Peach asked as she made a little face. “Is today Masquerade Day or something?”

Chambrea laughed softly. “You’ll find out sooner than you think,” she replied.

“O—kay,” said Peach. “We’re just gonna scoot and leave you to it.”

They stepped out of the room as Brea went to work, whistling a cheery tune as she did.

“Something’s off about these guys,” Peach whispered to Mario. “Call it a hunch, but—they’re seriously starting to creep me out. Especially with those masks. They’re quite—uncanny.”

Mario hummed in assent. “I noticed that they made Luigi a bit uncomfortable,” he said softly.

“And with the owner—Hellen…” Peach shuddered. “She’s _definitely_ making a little red flag go up. Getting in Luigi’s personal space like that—and in the elevator, she couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of me.”

Mario raised a brow. “You think she was checking you out?”

“Definitely!” Peach shook her head. “And I thought Koopa was bad!”

“I think we should have our guards up when it comes to the hotel staff,” murmured Mario. “Let’s not interact with them until we absolutely _must_.”

“Good plan,” nodded Peach.

“But you gotta admit—the rooms are pretty tight,” said Mario.

“Yup,” said Peach.

“Okay—finished!” Brea sang out.

“Wow—that was fast,” said Peach.

“Being fast is my specialty,” cooed Brea as she glided out of the suite. “I left some extra towels, wash clothes, body wash, shampoo and lotion for you, and there’s a complimentary selection of herbal teas for the evening. Oh, and there’s also a big box of chocolates waiting for you.”

“Thanks, Brea,” said Mario.

“You’re welcome,” said Brea. “Enjoy your stay!”

When Brea left, Mario and Peach let out the breath they’ve held the entire time and stepped back into the latter’s suite.

“Despite the vibes she gave off, Chambrea did a very good job,” mused Peach, inhaling the room’s clean, fresh scent.

She strode over to one of her bags, unzipped it and removed a humidifier and several scented oils before zipping it back up. After setting up the humidifier, she filled it with warm water, added several drops of scented oil, placed the cover over it and turned it on. Steam rose from the humidifier, the smell of the essential oil gradually filling the room.

“Wanna watch a movie with me?” asked Peach.

“Sure,” smiled Mario. “I’ll order us something to eat, shall I?”

The portly plumber dialed room service while Peach scanned the on-demand menu for a suitable film the two of them could watch.

**…**

Luigi was curled up on his bed, his TV on, but his eyes weren’t on the screen. Instead, they were on Polterpup as he lavished the paranormal puppy with all of the affection he could. Tickling him behind the ears, lightly scratching the top of his head and most of all, giving him belly rubs. He was duly rewarded with happy licks to his cheeks, cheerful barks and nuzzling. Luigi laughed. His love for Polterpup grew stronger by the day, and he’d give his life for the puppy. Just as he’d give his life for the rest of his friends.

Polterpup stretched out across Luigi’s lap, enjoying the love and attention. His big eyes stared up at Luigi, and the plumber could tell there was something else he wanted. One of those Golden Bones, perhaps? Or maybe a…?

“A bath?” he asked.

Polterpup woofed excitedly, wagging his tail.

“Wow, first guess,” said Luigi, muting the TV and turning on his music.

Dogs usually hated baths, but Polterpup was different. He was a unique puppy in every sense of the word. Right now, he pranced about eagerly as Luigi walked into the bathroom and gathered the necessary supplies in his arms. The doggie shampoo, the doggie conditioner and the doggie brush, along with several towels. Then, he ran the bathwater, testing it on his wrist so it wouldn’t be too hot or too cold.

“Ready, puppy?”

Polterpup practically sailed into Luigi’s arms. Chuckling, the man in green carried the pooch to the bathtub and gently lowered him into the water.

“How’s the temperature?” he asked.

Polterpup licked out his tongue in response, smiling at Luigi. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.

Luigi pulled off his shirt and dropped to his knees in front of the tub, giggling as Polterpup playfully splashed him. He grabbed up the bottle of doggie shampoo, applied a quarter-sized amount to his palm and commenced to massage it into the puppy’s wet fur using slow, practiced motions. As he lathered him up, however, Polterpup just couldn’t stay still, woofing, dog-paddling and splashing, having a good old time. The water around him soon darkened to a murky gray, the doggie shampoo doing its job and washing off all of the evidence of rough-and-tumble play.

“Wow,” murmured Luigi as he drained the tub. “You’ve been getting into a lot of shenanigans, haven’t you?”

He pulled down the shower head and switched on the water before moving the spray in a back-and-forth glide, rinsing Polterpup off. By and by, the paranormal pooch settled down, his pupil-less eyes widening in anticipation as Luigi prepared for the second lather. He seemed to understand the purpose behind these repeated lathers.

Holding the bottle of shampoo over Polterpup, Luigi allowed the pleasant-smelling liquid to drip over the puppy’s fur before applying another quarter-sized amount to his hands. This time, Polterpup stayed perfectly still, allowing the man in green to work the pads of his fingers deep into the roots of his fur. It was a deep, therapeutic clean which relaxed them both, Luigi leaning down and whispering affectionate words in Polterpup’s ear as he got him nice and soapy, making sure to get all of his favorite spots. Polterpup’s eyelids drooped, his head coming to rest on Luigi’s chest.

The warm shower spray slowly moving back and forth was just as heavenly as Luigi’s soft and sudsy hands. Polterpup simply closed his eyes and enjoyed. And the cycle repeated thrice more, each one longer than the previous. The creamy lather, the sudsy hands, the massaging motions, the warm, comforting spray and the accented voice speaking to him, the “r’s” rolling gently.

Finally, Luigi rinsed the shampoo away, lightly dried Polterpup off and took his time rubbing in the doggie conditioner, and that part was more enjoyable to the pup than the shampooing. After applying the conditioner, Luigi had to leave it in for five minutes, and during that interval, the plumber just held his doggie close, telling him how much he loved him and how thankful he was to have met him.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and that included this wonderful bath. But that was what made it so special.

Reluctantly, Polterpup willed himself awake as Luigi rinsed off the conditioner, the water spray a little cooler this time. Finally, the man in green wrapped several towels around the puppy, patting him dry, before lifting him out of the tub.

Luigi spread a fresh towel on the bed and placed Polterpup on it. Then, he applied a liberal amount of leave-in moisturizer to Polterpup’s fur before combing away the snarls and tangles with the doggie brush. Polterpup whined softly. The doggie brush was his least favorite part—because he knew the whole experience was almost over.

“It’s okay, puppy—I’ve got the last of the tangles,” Luigi said softly.

Polterpup relaxed, soothed by Luigi’s voice.

The old fur collected on the towel, leaving the bed untouched. And with one last brush, Polterpup was nice and groomed. “Okeydokey,” said Luigi. “We’re all done.”

Polterpup leaped off the towel, and Luigi carefully removed it from the bed and placed it beside the door before washing his hands.

“Feel better?” he asked.

Polterpup climbed back onto the bed, staring at Luigi through half-lidded eyes.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” smiled Luigi.

Now that Polterpup was satisfied, Luigi could indulge in some “me” time. He put on a more upbeat playlist, turned up the volume and began to dance as his puppy lazily watched.

It didn’t take long for him to work up a sweat.

Luigi danced and danced and danced, releasing the toxins and nervous energy, until he heard a knock on his door.

“Who is it?” he asked, turning down his music.

“Housekeeping!”

“I don’t need my sheets changed, but I could use some more towels,” said Luigi. “I just bathed my dog.”

“Aw—that was sweet of you. By the way, my name’s Chambrea. Brea for short. Mind if I come in?”

“Uh—sure.” Luigi didn’t care much for the staff, seeing that they were wearing those masks, but he _did_ have some dirty towels to get rid of.

Chambrea entered the room, and the way she moved was quite unsettling to the green-clad plumber. It was almost as if she was— _flying_.

“Mind if I clean the tub, as well?” asked Brea.

“Go ahead,” said Luigi. “I hope you don’t mind me blasting my tunes.”

“Not at all,” replied Brea.

Luigi turned his music back up, closed his eyes and continued to dance, shimmying and swishing his hips. At least three songs had played before he realized that Brea was watching him.

“I don’t need anything else,” he said, winded. “Thanks for the tub and the towels.”

“No thanks is necessary. My job is to see to it that you and your friends want for nothing,” said Brea, giving Luigi the once-over.

Then, she turned and departed, pushing her cleaning cart with her.

“J—s,” muttered Luigi. “What’s _with_ these guys?”

Polterpup remained on Luigi’s bed, watching alertly.

“You’re right,” Luigi said to him. “I should be on the lookout for them. Hellen, too—I don’t like her one bit. Ogling Peach and ogling me—the less I see of her, the better. But enough talk about her…”

Luigi selected a playlist of 80s party hits, and his dancing resumed. For the remainder of the afternoon, it was just him and the driving beat.

By the time he finished, his upper body was coated thickly with sweat. He helped himself to a bottle of Gatorade and jumped into another shower. Then, he ordered some pasta from room service.

As he ate, Luigi set out his diary and wrote about the day’s events, making sure to include his strongly-worded feelings about Hellen and the strangely-masked staff. When he was finished, he went to put the diary in his drawer, only for a hand giving him a thumbs-up to pop out.

“Boy,” said Luigi as he set the diary on his desk.

Polterpup was now on his stomach on the bed, giving Luigi an inquiring look.

Having eaten the last of his pasta, Luigi set the empty plate just outside the door, taking notice of the laundry chute to his right.

Polterpup woofed.

Closing the door and engaging the deadbolt, Luigi joined the paranormal puppy, who gave him a doggie kiss. Polterpup then sat back on his haunches, as if to ask, “Time to rest?”

“Might as well,” said Luigi, now feeling the tiredness settling over him. “We’ll have plenty of time to explore the area over the next few days.”

He climbed into the bed, allowed his body to sink into the pillowy mattress, and picked up one of the books he’d packed along with him. Polterpup snuggled alongside him atop one of the pillows.

Luigi opened the book, and he was promptly made aware of just how tired he was when he was sent into a deep sleep before he’d even read the first paragraph.


	8. In the Middle of the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content/Trigger Warning: Groping and sexual assault

The sun had just dipped into the mountain range surrounding the Last Resort. Steward sat at the front desk, sorting the mail, as the other employees finished cleaning up what was left of the buffet. He glanced up as Chambrea emerged from the elevator.

“Hey, Brea,” said Steward. “How’re you feeling?”

“Pretty okay,” Brea replied. “A little tuckered out, but okay.”

“Maybe you should take a break,” said Steward. Dropping his voice, he added, “There’s another guest coming in later tonight. A scientist or something.”

“Really? Is there a scientific convention in town?” asked Brea.

“No—Hellen invited him herself. She said she wanted to see his work up close.” Steward shuddered. “Why do I feel like—there’s something she’s not telling us?”

“I feel that way, too,” whispered Brea, “but she gave us orders, and we have to follow them. Otherwise…” She paused and glanced about the room.

“Thank God our guests don’t know what she’s like behind closed doors,” said Steward. Indicating the small lounge to his right, he added, “Rest, Brea. Please.”

Brea obliged, plopping down onto the sofa and helping herself to a can of soda a random staff member gave her.

“And Brea?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe once the last guest is situated, we can have dinner—just the two of us,” offered Steward.

Brea blushed. “Sure.”

Steward smiled. “Great.”

Brea reclined on the sofa, relaxing with her drink, and Steward resumed sorting the mail.

**…**

Just after 7p.m., the door opened, and a small elderly man walked into the lobby, toting suitcases of various sizes. Steward was already there to greet him before he even rang the bell.

“Good evening, sir,” said Steward. “Shall I help you with your bags?”

“Sure,” said the man, scrutinizing Steward. “Say—why are you wearing a mask?”

“Well—tomorrow’s Halloween, isn’t it?” Steward asked craftily. “Would you care for something to eat?”

“No, thank you. I had a good tuck-in at a diner earlier,” smiled the man. “I’ll probably order from room service later, though.”

Steward looked over the newest guest as he loaded his bags onto a luggage rack. He was bald, save for a singular tuft of white hair atop his head. His eyes were concealed by a pair of spectacles, and he wore a white lab coat over a suit and tie. This man was quite eccentric, indeed.

“Is the hostess here?” asked the man.

“Why, yes, I am,” responded Hellen, gliding down the stairs to greet the man. “Thank you, Professor, for accepting my invitation.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Gravely,” replied the Professor, taking Hellen’s hand and pressing it to his lips.

“You can call me Hellen.”

“Okay, Hellen. And thank you for inviting me. Not a lot of people are interested in my work nowadays. And I’m honored that you’re interested in my finest ghost collection.”

“I take it your brought the centerpiece?” asked Hellen.

“Oh, yes—in my car. But I’ll unpack tomorrow, if you don’t mind. It was a long drive, and I’ve been up since three in the morning.”

“I understand,” smiled Hellen. “I’ll show you to your room.”

“It’s okay—I’ve got it,” said Brea, arriving on the scene.

The Professor noticed something _dark_ creeping over Hellen’s face, something which she quickly shoved away. He made a mental note to keep his guard up around her.

“Thank you, Chambrea,” said Hellen, composing herself. “Professor, don’t be afraid to give me a call if you need anything. I look forward to seeing your centerpiece tomorrow.”

She smiled at him, and as the Professor looked closely, he could glimpse a cruel edge to that smile.

Something was up.

But what?

The Professor followed Steward and Chambrea to the elevator, letting out a breath as the doors slid shut.

“Thanks for the save, Miss Chambrea,” said the Professor. “Something about Hellen makes my hair stand up on end.”

“You’re welcome—and you can call me Brea.”

“Very well, Brea.”

They reached the fifth floor, where Brea held a finger to her lips. “We need to be as quiet as possible. Some of our guests are sleeping.”

The Professor nodded, and they started down the corridor to his room.

“What on Earth is her issue, Brea?” whispered the Professor, referring to Hellen.

“I honestly don’t know,” replied Brea, “but I hope you can forgive her. She can be—eccentric like that.”

“I’m a little eccentric, too,” the Professor proudly intoned.

“You use your eccentricities for science, don’t you?” asked Steward.

“Yes, I do. And I’m also an inventor.”

They passed one of the rooms, where loud snoring could be heard from within.

“What do you study?” asked Brea.

“The paranormal,” replied the Professor. “Something that used to scare me when I was a boy.”

“Really—you were scared of ghosts?” breathed Steward.

“Yes. A few kids made fun of me in school because of it. That fear is precisely why I’ve decided to study them and learn from them—maybe then I wouldn’t have to be scared of them anymore.”

“Hm,” said Brea.

“Not only that—I hoped to inspire others to overcome their fears, as well. I hoped to mentor somebody. And now I am.” The Professor smiled. “What a brave youngster—facing off against the most powerful ghosts I’ve studied to save a loved one. Love, I believe, is more potent than fear. Not just the love between two significant others—but familial love. Love between parent and child—and between two siblings.”

Brea and Steward exchanged a look over the Professor’s head.

“The most devious and dangerous ghosts I’ve encountered are known as Boos,” the Professor went on, “and they have magical powers. But let me tell you—their magical powers have _nothing_ on a brother’s loyalty. And you can take that to the bank.”

“Do you think your mentee will eventually mentor someone, as well?” asked Brea.

“That would be nice,” smiled the Professor. “A good way to pass on my legacy. I have no children, but that green-clad youngster is like a son to me. He’s helped me countless times, and like me, he’s slowly becoming interested in the paranormal.”

“You guys are a lot alike,” observed Steward. “Starting off afraid of the paranormal before slowly realizing that you don’t really have to be afraid of it.”

“You’re right,” said the Professor. “We are.”

They approached the Professor’s room, where Steward opened the door and wheeled the Professor’s luggage inside.

“My word,” breathed the Professor. “I can definitely call this home for a few days.”

“Shall I set your bags against the wall?” asked Steward.

“Please,” replied the Professor.

“Would you like me to go ahead and give you extra towels?” Brea chimed in.

“Sure.”

“You’ll find complimentary body wash, shampoo, conditioner, shaving kit and other essentials in the bathroom,” said Brea. “There are also complimentary drinks waiting for you in the mini-fridge near the TV, and some complimentary snacks on the coffee table. In-room dining is open 24/7.”

“That’s good to know,” said the Professor.

He turned as Steward reached for one of his suitcases. “Careful with that,” he said. “The contents are practically irreplaceable.”

“Of course,” said Steward.

Once the Professor’s luggage was situated, Steward and Brea smiled at him.

“Will that be all?” asked Brea.

“For the time being,” answered the Professor. “I’m gonna freshen up and turn in for the night. Thanks for getting me checked in so quickly.”

“You’re welcome,” said Steward.

“On a more personal note,” added Brea, “your mentee sounds like an interesting guy. Steward and I hope to meet him one of these fine days.”

“Maybe you will,” said the Professor. “I wanted to bring him along, but he’s on vacation with his friends right now. Next time, perhaps.”

“Yeah. We’d like that,” said Brea. “Good night, Professor.”

“Good night,” echoed Steward.

“See you in the morning,” the Professor told them.

The employees exited, and then the Professor gave a deep sigh as he stretched out on the bed.

**…**

Hellen sat in her office, on the phone with someone.

“Phase one is now complete,” she said, excitement in her voice. “The time has come to initiate phase two.”

“Excellent,” said the voice on the other end. “I knew I could count on you. I take it the rest of your staff played their parts to perfection?”

“They did. They knew what would happen if they didn’t.”

“And what about the other players of phase two? Are they situated?”

“Just about.”

“Well done, Hellen. All that’s left is just to sit back and watch the fireworks.”

“Who will you target first?”

“Ah, Hellen—I was thinking that maybe you and I can—have a little fun with them first. You helped me get to this moment, after all, so we should savor it together.”

Hellen smiled wickedly. “Agreed.”

“I knew you’d like that better. Now get down here and get me out of this d—n thing. I know just the person we should start with.”

“See you soon,” said Hellen before hanging up the phone.

Chuckling softly, she took a few seconds to fix her makeup. Hellen honestly couldn’t wait to see the looks on her “guests’” faces when she and her friend visited them later. They wouldn’t know what hit them!

**…**

Thad, Brad and Chad were still in the former’s room, having a ball. They’d swapped out Mad Libs for Cards Against Humanity, and now they were currently downing shots as they found the most outrageous ways to fill in the blanks. All of the wings had been consumed, the trio currently working on a large platter of chili cheese fries. Music played at a moderate volume on Thad’s phone, and the mood was quite festive.

Unbeknownst to them, that wouldn’t last long.

“Hey, guys,” Brad said after one round had concluded. “It’s getting kinda dark. I think we should turn the lights on.”

“Yeah…” Thad said distractedly, suddenly noticing things about his room. The balloons now had grinning jack-o-lantern faces on them which glowed a luminous lime-green, and the golden sunlight was now being replaced with eerie, pale moonlight.

“What’s wrong?” asked Chad.

“Look at the balloons,” said Thad.

The other Toads did so, exchanging frowns.

“Huh,” Brad grunted in confusion. “Maybe that’s intentional. Tomorrow _is_ Halloween, you know.”

“You think they’ll throw a costume party tomorrow?” asked Thad. “That would be _so_ awesome. But seriously, I don’t need those balloons grinning at me right now. Let me turn on the lamps.”

He reached over to the beside lamp and flipped on the switch.

Nothing happened.

“Okay—is it just me, or are the lamps not working?” asked Thad.

“Power outage?” asked Brad.

“No, the power’s fine. As you can see, my phone is still charging.”

“One would think that the staff would take the time to check these lamps and replace the bulbs before their guests arrived,” huffed Chad, “and their first-ever guests, to boot.”

“Should we call them?” asked Brad.

“We _should_ , but…” Thad trailed off.

“What?” asked Brad and Chad.

“Like I said earlier, I have a bad feeling about them—especially Hellen. And besides, our phones have flashlights,” said Thad. “I’ll put those balloons where I can’t see them, and we’ll make do with flashlights for tonight. We’ll tell the staff about the lamps first thing tomorrow morning.”

Chad nodded. “That’s doable,” he said.

Thad slid off the bed, took the balloons off the desk and hid them in the closet. “See? No sweat,” he mused before rejoining his fellow Toads and popping a fry into his mouth. “Who’s up for another round?”

“ _I_ certainly am.”

The three Toads whirled. Standing at their bedside was none other than Hellen, her white dress seeming to glow in the dark room.

“Holy [bleep]!” cried Thad. “How did you get in here? The door was locked!”

“Didn’t stop me,” grinned Hellen.

“You ever heard of knocking?” asked Brad.

“Knocking?” Hellen chuckled, gliding closer to the Toads. “Why, that would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?” snapped Chad. “What’s going on here?”

“Wait,” said Brad. “Since you showed up, we might as well tell you. Something’s up with the lamps. I think the bulbs have blown out or something.”

“Oh, dear—something has disrupted your perfect stay in my lovely hotel,” cooed Hellen, now joining the Toads on the bed. “We can’t have that, can we?”

The trio recoiled at the smell of Hellen’s perfume.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” said Thad. “You can fix it in the morning.”

“Oh, we’ll have none of that,” said Hellen, stroking Thad’s cheek. “My guests’ complaints should be resolved as soon as possible. And I know just the person who can help.”

Thad huffed, batting Hellen’s hand away. “Well, bring him in, I guess,” he muttered. “The sooner the lamps are fixed, the sooner we can resume our game.”

“Oh, Thad—there’s no need to be like that,” pouted Hellen, leaning forward until her bosom brushed against the Toad’s small body.

“Hey, Hellen—this may come as a surprise to you, but Toads need their personal space as much as anyone else,” said Thad as he and the others scooted backward.

“As my first guests, I’d like to know you a bit more—intimately,” grinned Hellen. “And as a matter of fact—I’d like you to meet a close friend of mine—a friend who will add a little extra spice to your stay!”

Looking over her shoulder, she loudly announced, “You can come in now!”

Fiendish giggling filled the air, the temperature dropping twenty-five degrees as the three Toads’ eyes widened.

“Hellen—you need to leave my room. Now,” Thad said as calmly as he could.

But Hellen just smiled evilly. “Out of the question,” she said.

She slid aside as a pair of glowing, violet eyes was thrust into the Toads’ line of vision, heralded by a throaty, sadistic cackle.

Thad knew that cackle all too well. “Oh, God—no!” he gasped.

“Oh, God, yes!” the King of all Boos retorted. “I hope you don’t mind if I join in this little sleepover, do you?”

“Actually, we do,” Brad smartly piped up.

“Too bad you don’t have a choice,” grinned King Boo. “Oh, you don’t have a clue of how long I’ve waited for this!”

“Wait a minute—how the Hell do you know of this place?” barked Thad.

“Yeah!” added Chad.

King Boo laughed again. “You’re all so _unbearably_ naïve,” he said. “Didn’t you find it strange that you were invited to this hotel, smack-dab in the middle of nowhere? That the hotel staff seemed to know you by name? And didn’t those masks raise your hackles up?”

“They sure did,” said Thad.

“It was staring you straight in the face—and still you fell for it,” gloated King Boo.

“Wha—oh, my God,” breathed Thad. “This whole thing was a trap. You S.O.B. You sneaky S.O.B.”

“And who names their hotel The Last Resort, anyway?” King Boo went on. “This _is_ my last resort—my last resort to [bleep] the man who f—ed _me_!”

“No! B.S.!” yelled Thad. “You’re not getting near Luigi!” He leaped out of the bed and brandished one of the golf clubs he’d brought with him.

Chad and Brad followed suit. “If you want him, then you’ll have to go through us!” they said bravely.

King Boo grinned. “That’s the plan,” he hissed.

“Get him!” yelled Thad, and the three Toads charged forward, whacking at King Boo with their golf clubs, and at Hellen when she eagerly joined the fray. The golf clubs barely left a scratch on the two, of course, but Chad, Thad and Brad would be d—ned if they went down without a fight!

King Boo and Hellen toyed with the three retainers for a while, but they eventually tired of this game. The former wasted no time in immobilizing Thad and Chad with the magical gem on his bejeweled crown. However, Brad managed to evade the initial attack, hurling his golf club at the King like a javelin. Nonchalantly, King Boo moved aside, the club embedding itself into the sofa behind him. As Brad made a dive for his cell phone, King Boo hit him with an electrical attack, making him scream in agony.

“Don’t bother with 9-1-1,” Hellen said sweetly as she stood before the immobilized Toads. “We just disabled all phone and Internet services. No contact whatsoever with the outside world.”

“You won’t get away with this!” Thad defiantly shouted as he and his buddies struggled against the King’s magic.

“Ah, yes—the same old song,” said Hellen as she shamelessly invaded the Toads’ personal spaces. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but the King and I came prepared. Our mutual friend won’t have a housecleaning device to save him. So when we pay him a late-night visit, he’ll be as good as dead.”

Hellen caressed Thad’s face before sliding her hand down toward the rest of his body, humming as she felt the skin exposed by the Toad’s unbuttoned jerkin.

“Wha—what are you—what are you doing?” Thad demanded, sweat standing out on his brow.

“My—you’re unbelievably cuter in person,” purred Hellen, running her fingers along Thad’s exposed chest.

“Hey! You leave him alone!” spat Brad.

“I believe you’re in no position to give me orders,” said Hellen.

She nodded at King Boo, who sent a powerful electrical pulse into Brad.

Hellen now had both hands skimming along Thad’s upper body. “Do you always walk around like this, hmm?” she asked. “With your little jerkin unbuttoned? You should know that it’s bound to attract some attention.”

“We all walk around like this,” growled Thad. “What’s that to you?”

“No need to be salty—I’m just saying,” said Hellen, rubbing, touching and caressing away. Then, she lowered her mouth towards Thad’s skin—

“Oh, no,” breathed Thad, struggling more frantically. “No…”

But it did no good.

King Boo’s eyes glowed with delight as he watched what Hellen was doing to Thad. Then, he noticed Chad and Brad, trying not to look.

“Oh, no you don’t,” he hissed, shifting them around so that they had a better view and using his magic to keep their heads in place and their eyes pinned open. “You _will_ watch this.”

Brad and Chad struggled with all of their might, but there was nothing they could do as they watched Hellen put her hands and mouth all over Thad, enjoyment written on her face as she groped him. Thad was breathing rapidly, tears beginning to pour down his reddened face, unable to get away from Hellen no matter how hard he tried.

“Oh…” Hellen said demurely. “I think I felt something. Oh, Thad—this must be the best night of your life.” She laughed softly, knowing perfectly well that it was the complete opposite for the poor Toad retainer and that he had no sway over the sensations she was inducing.

Chad and Brad helplessly looked on, tears rolling down their faces, as well.

After what seemed like years, Hellen moved away from Thad—only to set upon Brad, and then Chad. The Toad retainers prayed to God, and to any other deity they could think of, endeavoring to remain strong. Deep down, they knew that those two would never get Luigi. Somehow, he’d fight his way out and come through for his friends.

At long last, Hellen had her fill, moving to stand beside King Boo.

“Well,” she said. “I certainly enjoyed that. Did you?”

“Indeed,” giggled King Boo, “and I think _they_ did, as well.”

He looked over Thad, Chad and Brad, drinking in their tearstained faces and the looks in their eyes as they processed what had just transpired.

“I hate to cut this vacation short,” he said, “but I have big plans for you and the others, and those plans require you in more— _artistic_ positions.”

The gem on his crown began to glow, three portrait frames generating from it. Thad, Chad and Brad struggled fiercely but in futility.

Savoring the dawning realization in the trio’s eyes, King Boo laughed and laughed.

That horrible laughter was the last thing the three Toads heard before the portrait frames came down on them.


	9. Sweet But Psycho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong content/trigger warning: Non-con!

Blissfully unaware of the drastic turn of events, Peach relaxed in her room, eating the meal she’d ordered from room service. Everything seemed to have a different appearance at night. The balloons now had luminous jack-o-lantern grins on them, and even the gift basket had taken on an ominous appearance. Like her retainers, Peach simply shrugged it off as something special for Halloween.

Moonlight gushed in through the open windows, and Peach turned her attention toward the night sky, where millions of stars shone, fanning out around the moon. And when Peach’s eyes fell on the moon, mixed feelings about the adventure two years ago crowded her mind. She remembered the sight of her hero, bursting through the doors of that wedding chapel, dressed to the nines, his baby blues sweeping the scene. He’d _not_ been happy over the stunt his archnemesis had pulled. Mario had given her so much hope when he arrived, fighting his hardest to keep that reptile from making her his wife—and then he’d acted like an entitled brat by automatically assuming that she’d marry _him_. She hadn’t been ready to marry anyone, period—and she still wasn’t.

And she loved him. She loved him—she loved him. She didn’t need to put a ring on his finger to love him. She didn’t need to be rescued periodically to love him, either. She’d grown to love him by spending time with him and seeing who he really was, deep inside.

During their sensual afternoon, Mario had touched her so deeply. He had been gentle yet passionate, looking into her eyes and whispering that he loved her as he moved inside her, his lips breathing her name like a prayer each time he came undone. He was so committed to making things right. But he didn’t need to make anything up to her. She’d forgiven him. The two of them had re-examined their relationship, and life had gone on. However, she _did_ appreciate his efforts to become a better hero.

Daintily, she ate another forkful of food before taking a sip of her drink. Mario was a great hero, but first and foremost, he was someone’s brother. And when push came to shove, he’d put that someone first. He’d told her of a recurring dream he’d have, of Koopa managing to subdue Luigi during their climactic fights and forcing Mario to choose between him and Peach. Mercifully, the man in red would awaken before the choice was made, but the dream still rattled him. Peach had smiled at him, assuring him that she wouldn’t hold it against him if he chose Luigi over her. What was the old saying? Bros before—well, you know.

Peach smiled and leveled yet another forkful of food into her mouth. Mario was an almost-perfect hero, his greatest strength in his desire to look after his nearest and dearest. However, it was Luigi who had done most of the looking out lately, putting himself in harm’s way for others so many times—

“He’s put others before himself, and yet he barely gets a shred of credit for his efforts,” she mused. “How does he do it? And who’s gonna look out for _him_?”

Her answer arrived in the form of a bubbly ghost puppy, phasing through the wall of her room and hopping onto her bed.

“Hey, sport,” laughed Peach, setting down her food and running a practiced hand through Polterpup’s fur. “How’s Luigi doing?”

Polterpup woofed.

“He’s sleeping, huh?”

Another woof.

“I can’t honestly blame him—we’ve spent most of the day on the road.” Peach sighed. “Luigi has always been a healthy sleeper. No wonder he can open up portals to the dream world.” The pads of her fingers glided across Polterpup’s sweet spot. “You wanna know what I’ve been thinking?”

Polterpup whined curiously.

“Luigi needs someone to watch over him, y’know? He’s done such a good job watching over others. Over me, over Daisy, over the Toads, over Mario—especially over Mario. I know he wants to protect all of us, but who’s gonna protect him? Look—what I’m saying is—I think Luigi needs a guardian angel of sorts.”

Polterpup yapped excitedly.

“Really?” beamed Peach. “You wanna be Luigi’s guardian angel?”

Polterpup wagged his tail, yapping again.

“Oh, Polterpup! I knew I could rely on you. So, when the [bleep] hits the fan, you’ll be there for Luigi, right?”

“Arf! Arf!”

“Good boy, Polterpup—good boy.” Peach gave Polterpup a light kiss on the top of his head. “Now—here’s my proposal. The two of us should have a secret code phrase—a way for me to tell you that Luigi is in immediate danger without attracting attention.” Her face lit up. “I know! How does ‘piece of cake’ sound?”

Polterpup woofed.

“When I say ‘piece of cake’, you drop whatever you’re doing at the moment and run to Luigi’s aid,” said Peach. “Can you do that for me?”

Polterpup woofed twice.

“Okay—let’s practice. When I say the phrase, I want you to run to Luigi’s room as fast as you can. Ready?”

“Woof!”

“Piece of cake!”

Polterpup took off like a rocket, again phasing through the wall. Seconds later, Peach heard Luigi’s voice, sleepily greeting Polterpup and laughing, quite possibly giving him some affection.

“Mission accomplished,” she said softly.

When Polterpup dashed back into her room, Peach threw her arms around him. “You did so good!” she gushed.

Polterpup had his tongue licked out in delight.

“You’re a very quick learner,” smiled Peach. “Mark my words, Luigi doesn’t have to worry about a thing. Not a d—n thing.”

She gave the ghost puppy a belly rub. “Remember—it’s our code phrase. You can’t share it with anyone else, okay?”

Polterpup woofed to show that he understood.

“So—if Luigi somehow gets incapacitated, then it’s up to you to defend him to the best of your ability until help arrives. Can we count on you?”

“Woof! Arf! Woof!”

Peach laughed. “Good doggie.”

Polterpup rolled back over, and then Peach leaned into his ear and whispered, “Piece of cake.”

And Polterpup took off once again.

Man’s best friend, indeed.

**…**

Meanwhile, Mario sat on his bed, propped up by a few pillows, watching SportsCenter as he ate up the last of the pizza he’d ordered. Empty pizza boxes were neatly stacked on his desk and nightstand, and inside those boxes were empty parmesan cheese packets and pizza crusts which were too hard or too chewy. The man in red still couldn’t believe that he’d eaten all of those pizzas. Even after the meal in the diner, he’d worked up an appetite following his steamy afternoon with Peach. Perhaps it was just the way he was.

Presently, Mario had the very last slice on his plate, savoring the crust’s texture and the soft, gooey cheese. And for some reason, he, too, started thinking about Luigi, still conked out in his own room. He really should’ve saved a few slices of pizza for him. Perhaps he’d visit him tomorrow morning, once the younger man was well rested, and they’d enjoy breakfast in bed and watch a morning program together. Mario wanted to commit this getaway to strengthening all of his relationships—not just his relationship with Peach.

His relationship with Luigi was as strong as ever. There was no doubt about that. They would fight, as all siblings did, but they’d mend fences and move on. But when all was said and done, and each time they’d brought Peach home from a stay “in another castle”, it was Mario who was hailed as a hero, and as for Luigi—crickets. And that chafed. While mingling with the Toads at the post-rescue parties, Mario would glimpse Luigi, sitting with a piece of cake on a plate in his lap, gamely smiling. But the man in red wasn’t stupid—he knew Luigi was battling back the envy, but he was letting his big bro have his moment because—that was just how he was.

After the party, Mario knew that Luigi would retreat to his room, and he’d always debate knocking on his door and asking him if he wanted to talk. Each time, he’d decide against it, as Luigi needed some time to clear his head. Then, he’d hear the music blasting from the younger man’s stereo, and then he, too, would retreat to give him some space. But give it a day or two, and the Bros would talk things out. At the end of the day, they were a team. Nothing could change that.

But there were times when Mario would unconsciously take Luigi for granted, too wrapped up in his own fame or in his own problems to give him the time of day. He’d either make him feel underappreciated or unappreciated altogether. There was one particular adventure back in the 90s where this stood out. Koopa had done his usual thing and had made off with Peach, but only this time, he’d sent the Bros taunting messages regarding his plans for her. These messages had been shockingly graphic, and in one of them, he’d alluded to the Princess carrying his offspring. It was that message which had set Mario off, and with the stakes higher than normal, he wound up taking things out on poor Luigi. First, there was his conduct when they were trekking through those Ghost Houses, showing irritation toward Luigi’s skittishness and even mocking him for it. Then, there was his increasingly condescending attitude. _Can’t you do anything right? Can’t you quit your whining for one God—m second? Do you always have to be so f—ing cautious all the time? God, you’re such a ridiculous little baby._ He didn’t mean a word, but Koopa’s taunts had made him so worked up. And Luigi had just smiled and endured until late in the endeavor, when the penultimate boss had almost done them in. In the ensuing blowout, Luigi had reached his limit, a scuffle had ensued, and—and—

That had been the only time Luigi had walked out on him during a rescue mission. So far.

Mario had faced Koopa alone, and it worked out about as well as you’d expect. But just when all hope was nearly lost— _Luigi had come back for him_!

In the immediate aftermath, Mario had broken down and just couldn’t stop apologizing. And Luigi had held him, looked deeply into his eyes and told him that all was forgiven.

And in 2001, Luigi had almost died for him, giving him a severe reality check.

There were so many things Mario hadn’t told Luigi about that night. “You don’t need those images in your head,” he’d told him, and he was right. Nightmares would scream Luigi awake, and telling him what the King had done would throw gas onto the fire. That information was reserved for his therapist and protected by doctor-patient confidentiality. And he’d also sensed that there were things Luigi was hiding from him and disclosing exclusively to Dr. Beckett.

The events of 2013 had put a damper on their progress, but they’d pushed through. And now they were getting away for a while, away from their protecting duties and from their beef with Koopa and just focusing on _them_. There was no better opportunity to arrange for some brother-to-brother time during this interval, where they wouldn’t even dwell upon the bad things that had happened to them. Just the good things.

As he swallowed his latest bite of pizza, he realized that he’d been crying, his tears dripping onto the plate. Mario took the time to compose himself before finishing the last slice. Luigi had done so much for him—put himself through so much pain for him, and he asked for nothing in return.

_Who’s gonna take_ his _pain?_

“He shouldn’t—not after everything I’ve done,” he murmured, rolling out of bed and washing his hands before pouring himself some soda.

Settling back into bed, his mind once again drifted into the past, to a tennis tournament that had been held three years after that first encounter with King Boo. He’d been so sure that he’d win the singles round, but when Luigi had advanced to the finals with him, he’d faced some very serious opposition. The Peach Dome, the tennis tournament’s venue, had witnessed one of the most intense final matchups in the MK’s history, the score teeter-tottering and neither brother willing to back down. Both competitors ended up hot, sweaty and cross, and Luigi had even gone shirtless toward the end.

Ultimately, Luigi had won.

He’d been so happy as he was presented with the trophy, laughing and jumping for joy as the audience cheered for him and chanted his name. For once, _he_ had everyone’s attention. And something about that had rubbed Mario the wrong way. Despite trying to be a good sport, congratulating Luigi and patting him on the back, it had all felt forced. And the punchline had been Mario “accidentally” stepping on Luigi’s foot. To this day, groups seeking to discredit him would use that incident as their main source of ammunition.

It had taken a few days, but Luigi had once again let bygones be bygones. Nine years after that, he’d saved Mario a second time. And now here they were.

“I’m gonna do something special for Luigi during this vacation,” Mario said to himself. “Something that’ll remind him that all of his hard work isn’t in vain.”

“That’s a thoughtful gesture. What exactly do you have in mind?”

Mario nearly spat out his soda.

Hellen had let herself into his room!

“Don’t fret, Mario,” said Hellen, moving closer to him. “Just checking on you.”

“No need,” Mario said curtly. “I’m fine.”

“Not with all those pizza boxes strewn about,” said Hellen. “I’ll have my staff take care of that for you.”

“You came in here just to tell me that?” asked Mario.

“Oh—no,” cooed Hellen, looking Mario over. “I actually have one last surprise in store for you—and the others.”

Mario’s guard was up. “What kind of surprise?” he asked, his eyes narrowed.

“Well, if I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore, now would it?” Hellen told him, now laying beside him on the bed.

“Look, Hellen,” said Mario. “You and your staff have been nothing but courteous to us, but there _is_ such a thing as harassment.”

“Harassment? Oh, dear—I wouldn’t want my VIPs feeling harassed,” Hellen said coyly, trailing an index finger down Mario’s face.

“Then I’d appreciate it if you’d get out of my personal space,” Mario said evenly.

Hellen smirked, making no move to do so. “I’ll be out of your hair soon enough,” she assured him. “However—there’s an _old friend_ who’d like to see you first.”

Those words sent a slight twinge through Mario’s stomach. “This is my vacation time, you see,” he said, “so I don’t really know if I can put up with any visits from _old friends_.”

Hellen grinned. “Yes, well,” she said. “Here’s your chance to find out.”

A distinct chill arose in the hotel as a pair of familiar violet eyes materialized across from Mario.

“Oh, no,” gasped Mario. “No, no…”

“Hello, Mario,” said a sinister voice. “Miss me?”

“Oh, God—this can’t be happening!” Mario exclaimed.

And then King Boo thrust his face into view.

“‘Oh, God—this can’t be happening!’” King Boo mimicked in a high-pitched voice. “You can bet your f—ing life it is, _Mario_!” And then he cackled.

“But—you—you’re…”

“…supposed to be in a vault somewhere?” finished King Boo. “Not anymore. I have Hellen to thank for that.”

“That’s right,” said Hellen. “I’ve idolized him for quite a while, so when I saw the chance to help him out of his _situation_ , I took it.”

Hellen and the King savored the dawning realization on Mario’s face—and the fact that there was nothing he could do about it.

“That’s right, Mario,” giggled King Boo. “The third time’s the charm. That’s how the saying goes, if I’m not mistaken.”

Mario tried to present a witty or sarcastic comeback, but no words came out. Instead, he grabbed the half-finished liter of soda and threw it at them.

The liquid splashed all over King Boo and Hellen. While they were distracted, Mario leaped out of bed, seized an empty wine bottle and shattered it. He pointed the jagged edge at his two attackers as they recovered and advanced on him.

“Back off!” he yelled. “Just—back off! I’m not afraid to use this!”

“I’m sorry—is that supposed to scare us?” scoffed Hellen.

“You’re not getting near my bro!” snapped Mario. “Or near the woman I love!”

“I really don’t like people giving me orders,” snarled King Boo. To Hellen, he said, “Let’s take him.”

From the moment they lunged at Mario, he never stopped fighting for a second, slashing his makeshift weapon at them and dodging their attacks. He was determined not to let this fiend put his hands on him or his loved ones ever again, not to let this psychopath and his new girlfriend make him feel helpless a third time. But his determination was no match for their power or for the King’s fury, and in no time flat, they dogpiled him, thrashing him into submission. Mario wound up flung on his bed, King Boo holding him down with his magic.

“No!” Mario cried out desperately. “No—no—no! Peachy! Luigi!”

“Don’t bother,” said Hellen. “We’ve just soundproofed the walls. Nobody’s coming for you—and you’re not playing hero for anyone. Not anymore.”

“We’ve decided to take care of you before taking care of your brother and your dearly beloved,” King Boo chimed in as Hellen sensuously caressed their victim, “so we can personally tell you the fate we have in store for them. Of course, you already have a clue as to what that fate is, but we just thought you should know that they’ll have _you_ to blame. And we’re gonna save Luigi for last so he can see what we’ve done to his near and dear ones.”

“No! You f—ing monster! You can’t have them!” shouted Mario, struggling to escape.

“Yes, we can,” hissed King Boo, “and yes, we will. First, however…”

Mario’s breath came fast as Hellen undressed him, carelessly tossing each garment to the floor.

“Wh—what are you doing?!” he demanded of her.

She shushed him and put a finger to his lips. “Relax,” she whispered. “This is just one last hurrah before you go into a picture frame.” She took off her dress and let it drop to the ground before getting astride him.

“Hey! Stop! Stop that!”

Mario did his best to buck Hellen off of him, but the magical force keeping him down was too strong. Still, he fought, yelling and cursing at them until his voice went raw.

But it was all in vain.

Hellen glanced at her idol. “Wanna join in?” she asked.

“No thanks,” King Boo replied. “I’m saving myself for someone _special_.”

“Very well,” said Hellen, turning back to Mario and enfolding him in her hands.

“I told you,” she said as she stroked him, “that this would be a stay you’ll remember for the rest of your life. And you will—as part of King Boo’s art collection. Now, what do you think of that?”

“God—m you,” gasped Mario. “God—m you—and the horse you rode in on.”

Hellen merely chuckled. “Spunky, aren’t we? Don’t worry—you’ll get used to being on my King’s wall.”

“This is your fault, you know,” King Boo chimed in as Hellen continued rubbing their target down there. “If only you hadn’t intruded upon my dominion and disrupted the daily lives of my subjects. All I wanted was to scare you straight, but then your brother had to pull that stupid f—ing vacuum on me. You’ve all brought this on yourselves.”

“Peachy has _nothing_ to do with this,” Mario shot back, his breath hitching. “She doesn’t even know what went down in 2001!”

“Liar,” retorted King Boo, sending a painful jolt through Mario.

“I can see why the Princess fell in love with you,” cooed Hellen. “For a small man, you’re pretty—well-endowed. I guess size doesn’t really matter.”

The two laughed as if they’d just cracked the perfect joke. But this was no joke to Mario. This dream vacation had turned into a nightmare, a real-life nightmare over which he had no control. No control over the fates of himself, his little brother and the woman he cherished. No control over the sensations currently overtaking him. No control over anything. And he hated it. He _hated_ it!

“Getting excited, are we?” laughed Hellen. “Why, Mario—we’re just getting started!”

It was a twisted mockery of the magical afternoon he’d shared with Peach—a blatant and shameless desecration of all of his memories with her. Every kiss, caress and touch between them over the last 34 years was stamped upon and burned away, replaced with—what? These villains toying with him just to hammer in the fact that they _could_?

There was no doubt about it—Mario was completely at Hellen’s mercy. He’d become her plaything, just like the King before her, the King who was currently watching greedily, laughing as if he were watching his favorite play. She made him do to her what he did to Peach. She touched him where she wanted. She kissed him where she wanted. She licked him where she wanted. She—she— _placed_ —him where she wanted. She took all of his desires and fetishes and weaponized them against him. Had she secretly watched him and Peach that afternoon? If that wasn’t completely sick, then what was?

“Wasn’t that fun?” Hellen asked when she was finished.

Mario just lay there, physically and emotionally worn out. “Why…?” he managed to ask.

“Why not?” shrugged Hellen.

“You can still walk away,” said Mario. “It’ll be like nothing ever happened. I swear to God and on the Stars—there will be no acts of vengeance.”

“Too late,” hissed King Boo. “Eighteen years too late.”

He used his magic to dress Mario in his signature getup before looking him over. “I’m impressed, Hellen,” he said. “You really showed him a good time.”

“Indeed,” replied Hellen, “and we’re gonna show the lovely Princess a good time next, aren’t we?”

“Hellen—you read my mind,” laughed King Boo.

“No! No, [bleep] you!” Mario exclaimed as Hellen grabbed hold of him, restraining him. “Do what you want to me, but for God’s sake, _leave her out of it_!”

“You should’ve thought of that earlier,” said King Boo, laughing sadistically. “The laws of celestial mechanics dictate that when two objects collide, the result is damage of a—collateral—nature.”

Mario kicked and twisted against Hellen’s grip as another portrait frame generated itself from King Boo’s crown.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said. “I’m telling you—you don’t have to do this!”

“Oh—but I think I do,” King Boo retorted. “We’ll send your Princess our regards.”

Mario’s last thought as the portrait frame came down on him was the fact that he’d failed his Princess, his brother—and every last Toad in his home away from home.


	10. Disturbia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content/Trigger Warning: Non-con!

The more time that passed, the more Peach was certain that something was wrong.

First of all, her lamps weren’t working. Second of all, she called the front desk twice, and she was still waiting for someone to be sent to her room. Third of all, those balloons with the jack-o-lantern faces appeared to be grinning directly at her.

If this was some sort of practical joke, then it wasn’t funny.

She brewed herself some tea to calm her nerves and scanned the TV’s on-demand menu for another movie. A smile tweaked her lips as she came across a pay-per-view. You know, the pay-per-views whose names didn’t appear on the hotel bill when you checked out. And such a pay-per-view would be an excellent distraction from the growing creepiness factor.

After selecting the pay-per-view, she pressed “play”, removed the egg-shaped toy and turned it on. It vibrated gently in her hand, and once the pay-per-view reached the sultry parts, Peach slid off her negligee, held the egg under her chin and started trailing it down her neck, tracing it along her collarbone and then around her breasts, holding it between them for the rest of the scene. There were some mushy and romantic moments before the pay-per-view reached the next few steamy scenes, whereupon she guided the egg lower and lower, carefully pressing it to her peach folds and just letting herself go. With her eyes glued to the screen and pleasure invading every cell in her body, Peach easily disconnected from the non-functioning lamps and the creepy jack-o-lantern balloons and the creepier hotel proprietor copping an eyeful of her and Luigi earlier in the afternoon. But no pleasure in the world could allay the feeling that a little trouble was emerging in paradise.

By the time the pay-per-view was halfway over, Peach had made a glorious mess all over the egg and her bedsheets. Breathing heavily, she wiped off the toy and returned it to her drawer before pausing the film and exiting out of it. She’d finish watching it some other night.

One quick shower later, Peach pulled on a fresh negligee, finished her tea and brewed another cup. Now was a good idea to call Mario and check on him. She wanted to call Luigi, too, but he was still fast asleep, and she didn’t really want to wake him. But if her gut feeling turned out to be correct—

Peach set down her tea and removed the phone from its cradle, but just as she was about to dial, she almost stopped breathing.

_She sensed that she was no longer alone._

She stood, walked over to another drawer and took out her trusty Parasol. Flattening herself against a wall, she raised it aloft. The smell of expensive perfume hit her nostrils, and she recognized the scent immediately. It had been radiating off of Hellen as she introduced herself earlier. But what was Hellen doing in her room? And how long had she been hiding in here?

Peach swung, and the Parasol connected.

Hellen doubled over, a stunned expression on her face. Peach grabbed her by her fur stole and flipped her onto the bed, holding the Parasol inches from her face.

Once the hotel owner recovered, she broke into a laugh. “My God, you’re more beautiful up close,” she mused.

“I must say, Hellen, I’m impressed,” said Peach. “You’ve got some b—ls, lurking in here and spying on me.”

“I’m not spying on you,” said Hellen. “I’m just paying you a personal visit.”

“And to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“I’d like to introduce you to someone,” Hellen replied. “You two will get along quite well. He’s royalty, you know. Just like you.”

“Who? Prince Harry? Prince William?”

“No—someone who’s well acquainted with Mario,” said Hellen.

Peach raised a brow. “Prince Peasley? You invited him here, too?”

“Whoever told you he was a prince?” challenged Hellen. “He could be a King, you know.”

“A _King_ …?” Peach’s spider senses were sent in the red. “You know what? Hold that thought for a second. My lamps aren’t turning on, and I called the front desk twice. So could you please see your way to fixing that issue first?”

“Don’t worry, Peach,” said Hellen. “By the time the night is over, your lamps will be the least of your problems.” She grinned, and the Princess narrowed her eyes.

After giving Hellen another solid whack with the Parasol, Peach clipped it to her nightgown, opened another drawer and took out a frying pan. Holding her improvised weapon at the ready, she crept toward the door, opened it and darted into the hallway, which was still inexplicably painted in that golden light. She needed to warn Mario. Then, they’d warn Luigi, Thad, Brad and Chad, and then they’d find a way out of here and choose another locale to vacation in. Things here were getting just too weird for her taste.

Peach was at Mario’s door in seconds. “Mario?” she called, giving a knock. “Mario, are you all right? Are you still awake?”

The door creaked open, and Peach let out a gasp at the sight before her.

Mario was frozen in a portrait frame, his mouth open in a scream, pain and horror in his eyes. His hair was mildly disheveled beneath his cap, and there were lipstick marks all over his face and neck. All at once, the hotel’s inviting atmosphere disappeared, replaced by something foreboding and sinister.

“Oh, [bleep],” Peach whispered.

“What’s the matter, my dear Princess?” a voice hissed into her ear. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She spun around, frying pan raised, but nobody was there.

“Show yourself!” she commanded.

“If you want to find me,” said the voice, “then follow the cold shiver running down your spine.”

“Who are you?” Peach demanded. “And what have you done to Mario?

“Nothing he didn’t deserve, I assure you.”

_Peachy, just get out of here! Get out of here right now!_

But it was too late. 

Just as Peach turned to flee, a pink barrier slammed down in front of her. Sweating now, she whirled, staring straight into a pair of glowing, violet eyes.

“Leaving so soon?” the voice tauntingly asked.

Peach’s antagonist then materialized, leering at her.

“Oh, God in Heaven,” she gasped. “It’s you.”

King Boo laughed. “Well, who else did you expect? Your beloved hero?”

Mario’s portrait levitated to him, the King caressing his prize with one appendage. “Nobody’s coming to your rescue tonight,” he cooed to Peach. “I just thought you should know that.”

“And what makes you think I need rescuing?” spat Peach. “You think I’m afraid of you?!”

“You should be,” warned King Boo. “What I have in store for you will make your stays with that reptile look like a girls’ night out.”

_Peachy, what are you doing?! Don’t make him mad!_

“Oh, I’m not getting mad,” chuckled King Boo. “I’m getting even.”

Peach swung her frying pan with all her strength. King Boo darted aside before casually dodging her succeeding strikes.

“Sloppy, sloppy!” he chided. “Work on your form, Princess!”

However, he allowed her to try and attack him until she tired herself out. Cackling, he enveloped her in a purple ray and hoisted her off the ground.

“You fought well,” he said, “but to no avail. Don’t you know that Boos are impervious to those kinds of weapons?”

He phased through the door to her room, dragging her and the portrait along with him.

Hellen sat on the edge of the bed, smiling brightly. “I see you’ve met my acquaintance,” she said.

Peach was beside herself. “You were in on this, too?”

“You’d better believe it,” said Hellen.

King Boo deposited Peach on the bed, keeping Mario’s portrait hovered in the air.

“I should’ve known this was too good to be true!” huffed Peach.

“Ah—no sense in beating yourself up about it,” King Boo said in a faux-comforting manner. “Thanks to you, I’ll have an exquisite art collection to admire for all eternity. But before we get to that—there’s something I want your hero to see.”

Peach glanced down as her nightie began to slide off her body, seemingly on its own. Quickly, she grabbed the fabric and tried to pull it back up, but it was as if the garment was under some kind of spell. This tug-of-war went on for a few seconds before the nightie pulled itself free from Peach’s grip, coming to rest at the foot of the bed.

Instinctively, Peach tried to cover herself with her arms, only for them to be encased in a purple aura and pinned to the bed. King Boo floated over her, cackling and looking her over as she struggled.

“Very nice,” he said.

“Stay back!” yelled Peach, kicking at him, only for him to magically immobilize her legs, as well.

“I’m curious,” said King Boo. “What do you see in him?” He indicated Mario, sealed in a portrait and unable to do anything. “Anything he’s done—I can do better.”

He wrapped his long tongue around one breast, and then the other, licking to his heart’s content. Peach struggled to dislodge the tongue, but her efforts did no good.

“See what I mean?” smirked King Boo when he was finished. “You never struck me as a tongue person, but then again, I don’t really know you, do I?”

“What are you doing?!” Peach asked sharply as the tongue explored the rest of her. “Get away from me!”

“Sorry, Princess,” said King Boo, “but you don’t get to give the orders anymore.”

_Peachy! Oh,_ Dio _! Peachy!_

King Boo laughed at Mario’s distress. “Watch and learn, old friend,” he hissed.

Mario’s worst nightmare was now as real as real could get. His Princess, who he’d sworn to protect, was now in the appendages of two people he was powerless against and on her way to facing the same fate as him. Stuck in an artistic prison for the third time in his life, he had no choice but to watch as the vile King subjected Peach to his wicked whims, putting his horrible tongue in places that the man in red had worshipped only hours ago, making her—oh, _Dio_. He couldn’t even cover his ears against the sounds. The man in red screamed and screamed and screamed, but nobody could hear him. He prayed until his head hurt, but he wasn’t sure if his prayers could be heard, either. He tried to look at Peach’s face and nothing else, seeking to comfort her and let her know that he was here and he’d _somehow_ get them out of this, but then King Boo salted the wound by making him pay attention to every spot on her body he licked.

_D—mit, Peachy! D—mit! I’m sorry—_

_I know, Mario. I know._

Then, the King invited Hellen to join in, and she heartily accepted, the two of them continuing to put on quite a show for their red-clad captive. But Peach was one tough customer. She endured them without so much as a whimper, displayed no weakness and didn’t beg or plead for anything from them. Mario was shocked at just how _strong_ she was.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” said King Boo when he _finally_ withdrew his tongue. “Wow—we _really_ made her tick. The bedsheet is practically soaked.”

“I’m sure Brea will take care of that,” said Hellen. “It’s in her job description, after all.”

The two laughed, and then one of Peach’s pink dresses floated out of the closet and slipped onto her.

“There we are,” said Hellen after dabbing some makeup on Peach’s face and swiftly fixing her hair. “Now you’re picture-perfect.”

“You’re gonna lose,” warned Peach.

“Are we?” retorted Hellen.

“We only have one last guest to visit,” added King Boo, “and last I recall, he doesn’t have a nifty little gadget to fend us off with this time around.”

“He’ll find a way,” Peach confidently stated. “I know he will. He _has_ to.”

“Keep dreaming,” said King Boo as he spawned yet another portrait frame. “Now sit nice and still for your final official portrait, okay?”

The moment when the frame came arcing toward her was when Peach finally allowed a scream to escape her lungs.

And it was that scream which roused Luigi from his deep slumber.


	11. Ready or Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be some triggering content in this chapter. Proceed with caution.

With a gasp, Luigi sat straight up in bed, Peach’s scream echoing before it faded. He gazed at his surroundings, and for a second, he thought he was in a different hotel room altogether. The golden light bathing the room was no more, and in its place was darkness, broken only by eerie moonlight. Whatever drowsiness he felt was neatly dispelled by the klaxons going off in his mind. If Peach was screaming like that, then she was in trouble, and if _she_ was in trouble—then Mario, Thad, Brad and Chad were in trouble! He _had_ to help!

He leaped out of bed, smoothed the wrinkles out of his leggings and pulled on his socks and boots, not even bothering with a shirt. He didn’t have time for a shirt right now. After grabbing his flashlight off the nightstand and clicking it on, Luigi was ready to investigate.

The first thing he noticed was the mist swirling about on his bedroom floor, and the gnarled branches and thorns replacing the flower bouquets from earlier. When he opened his drawer, the hand giving the thumbs-up was now flipping him the bird!

“Well, that’s rude,” huffed Luigi as he shut the drawer and continued inspecting his room.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he opened the closet door, as the smiley-face was now a demon face!

“What _is_ this?!” he asked.

Polterpup trotted over, whining in concern.

“I don’t know, puppy,” said Luigi, kneeling down and petting him. “This could be a practical joke, or they could be getting ready for Halloween.” Yet deep down he knew that something worse was afoot.

“Stay here, okay?” Luigi said to Polterpup. “I gotta check on my friends.”

Polterpup frowned lightly, as this contravened Peach’s instructions, but Luigi looked deeply into his eyes, trying to put him at ease.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he assured him.

Polterpup whined again and licked Luigi’s cheek, but he dutifully stayed put as the man in green slipped out of the room.

Luigi emerged into the hallway and let out a sharp cry at the scene before him. The golden light seemed to be receding, replaced by the darkness and gloom. It was almost as if the welcoming environment was merely an _illusion_ —

“Oh, God,” Luigi choked out. He needed to get to Mario, Peach and the Toads—fast!

There were balloons with jack-o-lantern faces lining the hallway, along with Gothic statues and skulls. Luigi glanced warily at the transformed décor before making his way to Mario’s room.

“Mario?” he called. “You in here?”

His breath hitched as he drank in the room’s condition. The curtains were torn at the edges, pizza boxes were strewn everywhere, there was glass from a broken champagne bottle along with an empty liter of soda on the floor and there were signs of a titanic struggle. Luigi’s heart was about to pound right out of his chest. He remembered the night six years ago, when Mario wasn’t returning his calls, and a welfare check had been performed. Mario wasn’t in his house, and evidence of a fight had been discovered, as well. And Luigi knew how that eventually turned out…

“No—no,” he whispered. “Not again…”

He whipped out his cell phone to try and call Mario, only to notice that there was no phone signal. His stomach twisted—this didn’t look like a practical joke anymore.

Peach’s room was in similar disarray. Her Parasol lay on the floor, bent and mangled beyond repair, and her frying pan was nearby. There was a bunch of jack-in-the-boxes in her closet, and goblin faces sprang out of them the second Luigi opened the door. It was all he could do not to barf up the pasta he’d eaten earlier.

_Ten to one—the staff must be responsible for this_ , he thought, _and they’re coming for me, next!_

Luigi exited Peach’s room, where he heard the elevator ding and the doors slide open. Gripping his flashlight tightly, he crept over to the elevator bay, where he saw Hellen glide into the room, her eyes glowing yellow.

Hellen stopped when she saw Luigi, and then she smiled. It was the kind of smile a shark would give a small fish before eating it, the kind of smile the psychopath reserved for their latest victim in a slasher film. She thought he was absolutely _perfect_ at this moment, standing there with those blue eyes dilated, flashlight tight in his fist, his breath coming fast and the color leaving his face as he started piecing everything together.

“Well, well, well,” she cooed as she floated up to Luigi. “If it isn’t my _most_ esteemed VIP! I was _just_ on my way to see you!”

“Hellen,” Luigi said as evenly as he could. “What in the Inferno is going on? Where are my friends?”

“Oh, they’ll be fine,” replied Hellen, “but it’s _you_ I want to talk about. Is your room living up to your expectations? Doesn’t it _scream_ good taste?”

“My room is fine, thank you,” Luigi responded in a clipped voice. “Now, I’m gonna ask you again, and this time, I want an answer. Where. The [bleep]. Are my friends?”

“Language, Luigi,” chided Hellen, leaning in close and trailing a finger up her “guest’s” chest. “Your friends are waiting for you, and you’ll see them really soon.”

Luigi jerked away from her. “Don’t b.s. me!” he exclaimed. “You’d better tell me what’s going on _right now_ before I call the police!”

“How can you do that when I’ve disabled all forms of communication?” asked Hellen. She got right back into his personal space and inhaled his scent before licking the shell of his ear.

“Get the [bleep] off me!” barked Luigi, jerking free of Hellen as second time and retreating a pace as she followed him. “WTF have you done with my friends?! WTF have you done with _my bro_?!”

“There’s really no need to get like that,” said Hellen. “Like I said, your friends are still in one piece. I gave them some—special attention. And they enjoyed _every_ minute of it.” She giggled before suckling on his earlobe.

“You’re f—ing sick,” gasped Luigi. “When we were checking in, you were constantly staring at me. It was creeping me out!”

Hellen released his earlobe with a wet _pop_. “Oh, I can barely contain myself,” she sighed. “You have no idea how much I wanted you to accept my invitation.”

“Yeah? Well, now I wish we hadn’t,” said Luigi. “This is the last time I’ll ask nicely—where are my friends, and what did you do to them?”

“Your friends—are in good hands,” Hellen said ominously. “You see—there’s someone I truly adore! He’s the inspiration for some of my greatest ideas. Like inviting you here!” She laughed. “I just so happen to be his biggest fan! That’s why it’s so wonderful that I get to introduce him to—you!”

“Me?” Luigi repeated with a frown.

“That’s right, Luigi!” chortled Hellen. “I hope you’re ready!”

She glided off to the side, and then her _friend_ made his presence known.

And when Luigi saw those eyes and that face, he knew that he—along with his loved ones—were now in the bowels of Hell. 


	12. In the Air Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for general King Boo creepiness.

Hysterical screaming echoed throughout the hotel hallway.

If you were confronted with a malevolent being who wanted nothing more than to see you dead or worse—a being who was your own personal nightmare—a being who was supposed to be languishing in an underground vault—then you’d probably be hysterical, too.

King Boo’s eyes shone with devilish delight, and he cackled as Luigi screamed. Surely, the Fates favored him this time around. His old buddy was currently unarmed, screaming his lungs out—and shirtless. And the Master of Illusions had no problem with that.

And Luigi—he couldn’t move. He couldn’t—run. He was rooted in his spot, staring hugely at the leering King. _Ohgodohdeargodthisisnthappening!_

“Oh, it’s happening, all right!” laughed King Boo. “This is _definitely_ happening!”

Luigi’s breath came in fast, high-pitched bursts. “But—you—how…?”

“Why, it’s nice to see you again, too, Luigi,” smirked King Boo. “I’ve thought about you—every day—over the last six years. I take it you’ve thought about me, as well?”

“Oh, J—s—oh, sweet J—s…”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. I must say, Luigi—I’m touched.” King Boo licked his lips as he looked his nemesis over. “These last six years have been kind to you, I see. You’ve taken very good care of your body. I guess I should thank you for that.” He closed his eyes and slowly licked Luigi’s bare torso, eliciting a choked sob from the poor fellow as his eyes squeezed shut. “But the appreciation will have to wait. We’ve got _things_ to talk about.”

“Wh—what things?” Luigi managed to splutter.

“Have I mentioned that you’re so cute when you try to play innocent?” hissed King Boo. “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. That f—ing geezer had me locked up tight in his lab—but guess what? _I got out_! Ms. G was just dying to meet me, so she helped me escape. And not only does she own this hotel, she’s also the president of the only King Boo fan club in existence! Pretty lucky, huh?”

_My God. King Boo has a fan club?!_

“I used my smarts and her wiles to implement my master plan. It was high-risk, but now, my finest hour is here. It will always be. I am—inevitable.”

“That’s the truth of it!” Hellen chimed in.

“Anyway,” King Boo went on, circling his unnerved nemesis. “I didn’t think you’d actually show up here. I was ready, though, just in case. In fact, my vengeance is nearly complete!”

Luigi’s mind raced. He knew _exactly_ where this is going.

“Oh, you probably wanna know what I mean by ‘vengeance’,” said King Boo, “and I’ll gladly tell you.” A look of malice crossed his features as he explained, “I’m trapping you and everyone in your little vacation party—in frames!”

“No. No, no. You _didn’t_ …”

“Oh, yes, I did,” retorted the King, “but you mustn’t worry—it’ll all be over soon. It’s time for a family reunion. BOO-YA!”

King Boo pointed to his left, allowing Luigi to see Mario, Peach, Thad, Brad and Chad immobilized in their own portraits. The three Toads were mildly bruised up, as was Mario, except that the latter’s face was covered in fluorescent lipstick marks. There were lipstick marks all over Peach’s face and neck, as well.

Luigi reached out a hand to his captive friends. “Oh, no…” he gasped.

The quintet vanished, and King Boo laughed evilly. He zeroed in on Luigi’s panicked tears and licked them from his cheeks.

“My sweet, sweet Luigi—your tears taste so yummy and sweet!” the Master of Illusions triumphantly exclaimed. “The tears of a man who knows his number is up! By the way, there’s one more frame, of course. I saved it especially for you! Stay there and put on your best terrified face, Luigi—this is _game over_!”

His godforsaken bejeweled crown began to glow, and from it emerged one final portrait frame. Just the sight of it caused Luigi to regain his power of motion, and he did the only thing he could do at the moment.

He _ran_!

“Don’t let him get away!” shouted Hellen as King Boo gave pursuit.

It was a brief yet terrifying dash down the hallway, King Boo knocking down laundry carts, food service trays and anything else in his path to get at Luigi, casting Spirit Balls at the suites’ doors to cut off all avenues of escape. His long tongue lashed out repeatedly against Luigi’s backside, knocking him onto his stomach, but the man in green scrabbled back up and ran even faster. The fifth floor was now filled with the sounds of thumping, crashing, smashing, panting, wheezing, cackling and screaming. Luigi’s lungs heaved like bellows, and his sweat dribbled onto the floor, but he just kept running and running and running. He had to get away from the vile villain looming inches behind him, by any means necessary.

Luigi found himself at the end of the hall, next to the laundry chute he’d located earlier, the King bearing down on him. The Master of Illusions could smell his prey now, and he smelled _good_. That godforsaken tongue lolled out and swiped across his shuddering chest and belly once—twice—three times—until Luigi was breathing in heavy sobs and praying aloud for God to help him. Another scream tore from him as King Boo drew closer, the portrait frame held aloft.

“Nowhere left to run, old friend,” King Boo taunted. “Nowhere left to hide!”

Luigi was practically hyperventilating at this point. “Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no…”

He took a few deep breaths and forced himself to think. The laundry chute seemed to be his only ticket out of this nightmare. Unless something broke his fall, the drop was likely to kill him, but death was preferable to an eternity as King Boo’s plaything.

Holstering his flashlight, Luigi escaped the only way he could. Shaky fingers pulled open the chute’s door as far as it could go. Glancing over his shoulder, he offered his pursuer a parting remark he hoped would cut deep.

“[Bleep] you!” he screamed, flipping King Boo off.

And then he dove into the laundry chute, the door clanging shut after him.

Hellen joined King Boo at the end of the hallway, looking disheartened. “Aw, man—we were so close!”

The King rubbed her back comfortingly. “Don’t despair, love,” he said softly. “He’ll be back. He’ll be back— _and we’ll be waiting_.”

Identical wicked smiles on their lips, the duo headed back toward the elevator.


	13. Color of My Dreams

_He got away. Oh, thank God. Thank God._

_Is—is he all right?_

_Yeah. He’s just a little rattled._

_The laundry chute—why didn’t I think of that sooner?_

_Hey—it’s not your fault. It’s not our fault. Nobody saw this coming. If we want to survive this, then we need to stay positive._

_You’re right. Guys—she’s right. Let’s think positive. He’s gonna find a way back to us. No doubt about it._

A pause.

_Well, Luigi—here I am again. Trapped in a portrait and condemned to adorn King Boo’s wall. At least he was_ nice _enough to bring Peach, Thad, Brad and Chad along for the ride. I know there was supposed to be no stress and no negative vibes, but I actually thought I could fight him off this time around. Too bad he had some help. As someone known to always save the day, this is a predicament I can never get used to._

 _Oh, Luigi—all I ask is that you not feel bad about this. Part of the journey is the end. If not for the fact that a full-blown psychopath is holding me captive, I’d say that I’m feeling all right. But I_ do _owe him thanks—34-plus years with the same captor had me yearning for a brief change of pace. Besides, I’m used to this sort of thing._

_At this point, your best bet is working your way up the building. That’s likely where they’ll be waiting, and that’s likely where you’ll find us. They did away with every form of contact with the outside world, so it looks like—well, we all know what it looks like. God, I should stop being so negative and start offering a little—constructive criticism._

_Like Peachy said—don’t feel bad about this. You_ know _what you have to do. And we’ll be right here, praying, waiting out the proverbial storm, so to speak. When we drift off—we will dream about you. It’s always you…_

 _Luigi—Luigi—we believe in you. This is gonna be a_ piece of cake _…_

**…**

When Luigi first began to awaken, he dared to hope that everything he’d experienced up to now had been a dream. He was rewinding all of the events in his mind, and he imagined waking up beside Polterpup and giving him a little cuddle. His next course of action would be to cut this trip short and hightail it to Evershade Valley to check on Professor Gadd and the Boo Vault. If he wanted an escape, then the go-to destination would be Las Vegas, where he was more likely to lose some of his money than watch his loved ones get sealed away in a portrait.

But as he heard Polterpup barking and a felt light chill settle on his skin, he knew before opening his eyes that this wasn’t a dream. This was really happening.

Polterpup licked Luigi’s face, woofing joyfully as he saw him stir. The plumber willed himself to open his eyes, and he saw that he’d landed in a towel cart, the soft towels breaking his fall. After checking himself for injuries, Luigi gratefully petted Polterpup, silently thanking God that he, too, had escaped.

“Good puppy,” he said, smiling and laughing with relief.

Polterpup was so happy that Luigi was laughing and smiling that he pounced on him, lavishing him with doggie kisses. The two rubbed noses before Luigi hopped out of the towel cart and whipped out his flashlight, which had also survived the fall.

“Okay,” said Luigi as he scanned his surroundings. “So, we’re in a laundry room.”

Polterpup pranced in front of him, sitting up on his hind legs.

“What is it, puppy?” he asked. “Did you find something?”

Polterpup motioned his head toward a door, as if beckoning Luigi to follow. Warily, Luigi followed the paranormal pooch out of the laundry room and into another hallway, jumping at every passing sound, from the washer starting up to some towels falling on the floor. Eventually, they reached another door, which Polterpup insisted Luigi go through, kicking up a fuss whenever he tried to walk past.

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi, opening the door and stepping inside. “What’s in here?”

He was now in a parking garage, which was largely vacant, save for a handful of cars. The air was quite nippy, but Luigi hardly felt it at this point. All that mattered was that his puppy had likely come across something that would get him—and his friends—out of this mess.

Polterpup led Luigi to a car that appeared to have been manufactured in the 1910s, and a bolt of recognition went through him. He saw that vehicle six years ago in the Gloomy Manor’s garage. Was that—Gadd’s car?

Was Gadd around here, too?

If so, then Luigi had to find him and tell him what was going on!

His train of thought was cut off as Polterpup leaped out of the car’s hood and nudged Luigi forward, inviting him to open it. Luigi did so—and a peal of laughter erupted from him.

Hidden in the car’s hood was none other than the Poltergust G-00!

When Luigi had told Gadd about his vacation plans, the Professor had agreed to hold onto the ghost vacuum until the former returned. But now, Fate had reunited the two sooner than expected.

Triumphantly, Luigi removed the Poltergust from its hiding place and hoisted it into the air.

“Oh, yeah!” he exclaimed. “Luigi time!”

When he slid the Poltergust G-00 onto his back, it felt like a comforting embrace. The smooth leather straps were soft against his bare skin. The metal buckle was a bit cool, but he welcomed the coolness all the same. He hefted the familiar weight of the vacuum nozzle in his hands, and then he spun around and beamed at Polterpup.

“Thanks, puppy,” he said, kneeling down and rewarding him with a belly rub. “I think I’d be lost without you!”

“Arf!” replied Polterpup.

“Before I set off, I guess I should check to see if the Poltergust is working properly,” mused Luigi.

First, he held down the Strobulb button before releasing it, a bright flash filling the room. Second, he tested the vacuum and exhaust functions.

“Great,” he said when he was done. “The Strobulb, the vacuum and the exhaust are in top form. All that’s missing is the Dark Light Device and…” He pulled on the Poltergust’s handle. “…the plunger-shooting mechanism. Huh.”

Polterpup directed Luigi’s attention to a strange, new button on the vacuum’s apparatus.

“Wow. What does this do?” he asked.

When he pressed the button, he gasped as a burst of air propelled him upward. Instinctively, he padded his legs, allowing him to gain a better jump height and land safely on his feet.

“That’s new,” he mused when he caught his breath. “Hopefully, it’ll come in handy.”

Polterpup woofed in agreement.

“Okeydokey,” Luigi said determinedly. “It’s time to get some answers.”

**…**

_All right! He found the Poltergust! With some help, of course._

 _Atta boy, Polterpup. Now, listen to me. I want you to stay by Luigi’s side, okay? No matter what he says, do_ not _leave him in unfamiliar territory for even a minute. He can be pretty stubborn sometimes, but he’s gonna need you, and you’re gonna need him. And remember—listen for our special phrase._

_What special phrase?_

_I’ll tell you when this is over, all right? But you’ve got to trust me on this. I know what I’m doing._

_Okeydokey, Peachy._

_All that matters now is that Luigi is armed and ready for whatever ghosts he’s bound to face._

**…**

Albeit the Wi-Fi had been disabled and his phone had no signal, Luigi could still listen to his music, as he’d downloaded all of his playlists to his device. As always, he listened with only one earbud in, softly humming along to the lyrics as he explored the area he’d found himself in, Polterpup trotting alongside him.

Luigi’s search began in the parking garage, where there were plenty of coins and scraps of paper to vacuum up. He yanked a white sheet away from one of the cars and discovered a green panel on the trunk, which he flashed with the Strobulb. The trunk opened, and from it emerged a white, boxy-looking gem.

“Whoa,” mused Luigi as he pocked the gem. “I’ll probably find more of these.”

In addition to the coins and paper scraps, there were piles of dirt and trash, along with some mice, which Luigi could also stun. He allowed himself only a few minutes to explore the parking garage before exiting into the hallway and walking toward the elevator, vacuuming whatever he could find as he went. When he reached the elevator, he saw that he was on floor B1.

The basement.

To the elevator’s left was another door, blocked by metal barriers. However, Luigi had seen this obstacle before. He flashed the Strobulb at another green panel, causing the barriers to retract, and pushed through the door into a stairwell. There were gold coins, gold bars and even a treasure chest under the stairs, and even the vending machine spat out gold and dollar bills. Once he vacuumed everything, Luigi jogged up the stairs, sucking up all of the trash obstructing his path and using that burst of air to knock aside a metal trash bin. At the top of the stairs, he pushed through the double doors and into the main lobby.

Each of the four icons over the front desk now had a red “X” slashed over them, the paint dripping from the edges of the letters giving them a creepier appearance. The vibrant boxed gifts and the buffet were all gone, replaced with snarling jack-o-lanterns, balloons with grinning, glowing faces and several small piles of skulls. Luigi’s gut went cold as he looked over the scene, Polterpup sensing his distress and nuzzling against his leg comfortingly.

But what Luigi saw next chilled him to the core and made him drop the Poltergust’s nozzle.

Two blue ghosts were at the hotel’s main entrance, drilling and nailing planks across the front door to prevent anyone from going in—or out. As an added precaution, they were wrapping chains around those planks. As Luigi watched, he had to remind himself to breathe.

_King Boo definitely means business this time around_ , he thought.

Polterpup stalked toward the ghosts, barking at them, warning them to back off. The ghosts turned to look at him, amused looks on their faces, before one of them shooed him off with a gesture. Remembering Peach’s words, Polterpup rejoined his master, crouching protectively in front of him.

One ghost tossed their drill to the other before flying off, and the other ghost casually chucked the drill away, making as if to fly off as well—only to suddenly leap in Luigi’s face, shrieking.

Luigi leaped back with a small yelp. Pink, gate-like barriers slammed down around the lobby, trapping him with the ghost. But then, he composed himself, brandished the Poltergust and prepared for battle. 

As the ghost lazily floated around him, Luigi charged the Strobulb and carefully lined up his shot. Once the ghost closed back in on him, he let out a breath and released the charge with a satisfying _ZZZAPP_! The ghost was frozen in their tracks, and Luigi quickly pounced, starting to vacuum them up and keeping an eye on the power gauge as it built. As always, the ghost tried to tear themselves away, but Luigi dug in his heels and pulled back with all his might.

The power gauge was now full, but when Luigi pressed the Strobulb button a second time, there was no Surge. Was that component missing, too? He had no time to ponder over that, however, as the ghost jerked themselves free. Luigi cursed under his breath and wasted no time stunning the ghost again, getting them back in the suction.

When the power gauge filled again, Luigi suddenly remembered the way he could slam opponents around in the Smash tournament. And there wasn’t a rule against him doing the same to ghosts, was there? Shifting his grip on the nozzle, he heaved the ghost overhead with a grunt, bashing them hard against the lobby floor, every muscle and nerve in his body resonating from the impact.

It felt _d—n_ good.

Luigi slammed the ghost against the floor again and again, depleting huge chunks of the latter’s HP. After the fifth slam, the ghost was defeated, and Luigi relaxed, wiping his brow—

…only to tense back up again as he heard laughter echoing from all around. Glancing up, he spotted the other ghost watching him from the mezzanine balcony. This ghost put two fingers to their lips and gave a sharp whistle, summoning two more ghosts. Together, the three ghosts flew at Luigi as he stood his ground, Poltergust poised.

He dodged the initial charge, pivoted and then stunned the first ghost he saw, bringing that power gauge up so he could slam them into anything in sight. The floor, the wall, the tables, the Gothic statues. The other two ghosts attacked with powerful punches, and while he managed to dodge the worst of them, he still wound up battered sufficiently. The chill he’d felt was all but forgotten as his blood began pumping, an exerted flush blossoming on his face, chest and torso. Something that the attacking ghosts _did not_ fail to notice.

As the battle heated up, Luigi felt something tug at the waistband of his pants, and he turned around to see Polterpup aiding him in his tug-of-war against the ghosts. He flashed the paranormal pooch a grateful smile before focusing back on his opponents, slamming them into hard surfaces and even each other. Thanks to Polterpup, he now had better control over the suction, and he was dragged around less. Every moment he spent fighting the ghosts allowed him to get the feel of the Poltergust G-00 in ways that he couldn’t when he’d only been practicing.

Finally, the last ghost was defeated, and Luigi knelt down to give Polterpup a celebratory pet. “Good going, puppy!” he exclaimed.

Polterpup licked Luigi’s cheek and leaped up onto the balcony, behind another set of double doors. Luigi moved to join him, only to be startled by the phone ringing.

“I thought they disconnected the phones,” he murmured before answering it. “Yello?”

A ghost cackled maniacally on the other end.

“J—s,” gasped Luigi as he hung up.

The phone rang again, and he answered with a curt “Yes?”

“There appears to have been a flaw in our plan,” said Hellen’s voice, “but it means nothing.”

The hotel owner currently sat in her own personal suite, sharing a large, stuffed crust pizza with King Boo. Two plastic cups and a large liter of root beer sat on a table nearby.

Back in the lobby, Luigi’s still-pumping blood was now simmering. He had no time for Hellen’s [bleep].

“Now you listen to me,” he said evenly. “If you think that I’m gonna go easy on you because you’re a woman, then you’d better think again.”

“Oooh—so feisty,” cooed Hellen. “The King and I will be waiting for you with the kettle on. Good luck making your way up the hotel’s many floors—you’re gonna need it.”

Cursing, Luigi slammed the phone back onto its cradle. His hands curled into fists, and his chest heaved. Above him, Polterpup barked wildly, frantic with worry. Composing himself, Luigi glanced up.

“I’m fine, puppy,” he said. “I’m fine.”

Turning his gaze toward the front desk, he noticed a key hanging beside the mail slots. He used that burst of air to get behind the desk and then tried to vacuum down the key. But it barely even budged.

On the other side of the mail slots was a green panel, which Luigi flashed. The slots slid up to reveal another gem, which he palmed. There was also a huge stack of dollar bills and some gold coins and gold bars. Luigi vacuumed up all of the treasure, and then he stood on his tiptoes and plucked the key from its hook.

“Gotta stop relying on my vacuum all the time,” he said as he trotted up the stairs to join Polterpup.

Polterpup whined softly as he took in the bruises Luigi had sustained during his fight with the ghosts. But Luigi lightly scratched him behind the ears before giving him some back and belly rubs.

“They don’t hurt,” he said soothingly, but Polterpup wasn’t about to let his guard drop for a second.

Staring into Polterpup’s pupil-less eyes, something dawned on Luigi. “There’s something in there,” he realized.

Polterpup whimpered.

“Something—or someone?”

Polterpup barked urgently before phasing through the door. Luigi took out the key, turned it in the lock and watched as the key disappeared through the keyhole before easing the door open and cautiously entering the room.

Mere seconds after he stepped inside, Luigi was greeted by a sight so ghastly that it made him cover his mouth in horror—


	14. Can't Hold Us

_Whoa—is that…?_

_Yep, looks like it. How did he…?_

_I don’t know, but Luigi could surely use him right about now—once he finds a way to get him out of there._

_Yikes. This hotel was a trap. For all of us. Just look at how close that creep was to winning tonight._

_That’s true—but Luigi got away, and now he has a fighting chance. We can’t let King Boo win. We need to fix our eyes._

_Yeah. Fix our eyes—and hope for the best._

**…**

A mixture of sadness and righteous fury currently boiled within Luigi as he stood in what appeared to be a ballroom, his eyes riveted on the sight before him.

His mentor, a man who’d saved his life and set his unexpected career as a ghost-wrangler in motion, was currently held captive inside a portrait. His mouth was open in a scream, his hands were raised, as if he were trying to ward something—some _one_ —off, and his face was mottled with bruises. The pieces were slowly clicking into place inside Luigi’s mind. King Boo must’ve lured the Professor here, as well, and then Hellen had freed him from the vault before the two of them attacked the scientist! He _knew_ that was the Professor’s car in the garage!

Thank God he’d had enough common sense to bring the Poltergust G-00 along. Otherwise—Luigi dared not finish that thought.

Polterpup was perched next to Gadd’s portrait prison, barking frantically. Once Luigi regained his bearings, he raced over to his trapped mentor, gently pressing a gloved hand against the canvas.

“ _Professore_? Can you hear me?” he asked.

_Loud and clear, sonny._

“I’m gonna get you out of here, I promise. If only I had the Dark-Light Device on this thing—d—mit!”

_Hey, youngster. I think your puppy just uncovered something._

Luigi’s eyes swung over to Polterpup, who was seated beside a door.

“Hang in there, Professor,” he said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

_Take your time…_

Luigi followed Polterpup through the door and into the mezzanine hallway, and then the ghost puppy phased through another door ahead of him. Unfortunately, the door was locked.

“The key has to be around somewhere,” muttered Luigi.

Further down the hallway was another door, which opened into some sort of wardrobe room. The masks that the hotel’s staff had worn earlier were scattered on three small tables, and some clothes hung in a closet, concealing a safe. Using the vacuum, Luigi yanked the clothes away and flashed the green panel on the safe, which opened to reveal an oval-shaped gem.

“Okay,” said Luigi. “Now to find the key.”

He vacuumed every last nook and cranny in that wardrobe room, searching for anything of interest, value or both. Eventually, he saw another green panel, and when he flashed it with the Strobulb, a painting folded outward and spat out the key he was looking for.

Luigi pressed the key to his lips before pocketing it and heading out.

The scene in the mezzanine hallway had changed drastically. “Wanted” posters with his face on them were being plastered all over the walls. And the one putting up those posters was none other than a ghost! They worked casually, humming a tune as another ghost floated behind them with an armful of “wanted” posters. These ghosts were the same blue, thin ghosts Luigi had encountered in the lobby. He didn’t know why, but he decided to call them—Goobs.

The first Goob turned and spotted Luigi, reeling back with a startled little noise. They glanced from Luigi to the “wanted” poster, and then they chattered something to the other Goob, who tossed the stack of posters in the air. Together, the Goobs advanced on Luigi as the posters showered everywhere on the floor and those gated barriers slammed down.

This time, Luigi reacted quickly, stunning the Goob nearest to him and bracing himself against the wall as he let the vacuum rip. Once the power gauge built up, he slammed the Goob into the floor—and the other Goob—again and again.

The skirmish was over in two minutes.

“I love this thing,” Luigi said to himself as he strode over to the steel door and unlocked it.

He was now in some sort of storage room, with most of the objects covered by tarps. The first tarp he yanked away uncovered several boxes scurrying with mice, and the second one revealed a shelf full of piggy banks and other junk. But what Luigi was _really_ interested in was the safe.

Polterpup was happily curled up next to that safe, inviting Luigi to open it and check it out. And when Luigi did so, he cried out in happiness and threw his arms around the puppy.

The Dark-Light Device was hidden in the safe!

Carefully, Luigi removed the device and screwed it onto the nozzle, quickly finding a portrait of stacked coins to test it on. He pressed the button, and a familiar, rainbow-colored light shone on the portrait, causing gold bars, gold coins and dollar bills to fly out.

“ _Now_ we’re getting somewhere,” he said.

He spun on his heel and left the storage area, Polterpup close by. It was time to free the Professor.

**…**

_Hey, I remember that! It’s that—Dark Light—thingy. Luigi used that to free me back in Evershade Valley!_

_What was it doing in that safe?_

_My guess is that Hellen and King Boo stashed it there after jumping the Professor. Now if only they’d been smart enough to search the Professor’s car._

_But fortunately for us, they weren’t. Heads up and smile, everyone! He’s gonna find us!_

**…**

“Told you I’d be back before you know it,” said Luigi as he stood in front of Gadd’s portrait. “Okeydokey—let’s get you out of that d—n thing.”

He shone the DLD on the painting, watching as Gadd slowly became colorized, the multicolored beam drawing the elderly researcher from the confines of his prison. Luigi then dashed forward, arms outstretched, catching his mentor before he hit the ground.

Disoriented, Professor Gadd whipped his head this way and that, blinking like a startled chicken. “Wh—wha…?” he gasped.

“Professor. Look at me. You’re all right,” Luigi said breathily.

Gadd locked in on the familiar voice, swinging his head around to gaze into Luigi’s face. The pallor receded from the Professor’s features, and he let loose with a hearty laugh. Luigi laughed along with him, pulling him in for a hug.

“Ah, if it isn’t Luigi,” sighed Gadd as he returned the embrace. “You’re precisely the last person I’d expect to find here.”

“And you’re the last person I expected to find _here_ ,” replied Luigi. “When I told you I was going on vacation, I never expected you to follow me.”

“I assure you, that wasn’t my intention,” said Gadd as the two men separated.

“They didn’t hurt you too badly, did they?” asked Luigi.

“Relax—I’ve taken thrashings from ghosts my whole life,” Gadd said jovially. “Wow—imagine it. We met when I saved you from ghosts, and now you’re returning the favor.”

“Yeah,” realized Luigi. “It’s pretty surreal.”

“However, reminiscing will have to wait,” said Gadd. “We gotta get out of this place, and fast!”

“I’m not going anywhere, Professor,” Luigi said a little hotly. “King Boo did exactly what he told me he’d do when I faced him down in Evershade Valley. He has Mario, Princess Peach and three of her Toad retainers in his sinister clutches. And let me tell you—there’s no way in Hell that I’m leaving them to that fate.”

Gadd sighed. “You’re the same as ever, I see. A bit of a handful…”

“I thought you realized that the moment we met,” said Luigi.

“Very well,” said Gadd. “If you wanna save your friends, then I’m not about to let you do it alone.”

“Thank you, Professor,” said Luigi.

Gadd opened his mouth to say something else, only to suddenly take stock of Luigi’s state of undress. A green cap, a pair of boots, peppermint-stripe socks, tight leggings and no shirt. The eccentric researcher blushed. “Uh—well…” He cleared his throat. “You’re _definitely_ in a hurry to save your friends.”

“I’ll put something on later,” said Luigi.

“All—righty,” said Gadd, unable to tear his gaze away from his mentee’s physique. “I—just so happen to have an idea.”

“Great,” said Luigi.

“First things first—we need to get to my car. Would you please take me there?”

“Gladly,” replied Luigi. “I know where it is.”

Gadd craned his neck. “Hey! I see you’re wearing the Poltergust G-00,” he observed. “Did you take it out of my car?”

“I did. Thanks for holding onto it for me—and thanks for bringing it. King Boo would’ve _won_ if you hadn’t!”

“My pleasure, of course,” said Gadd. “A little voice in my head told me to take it with me, just in case.”

“And I’m happy you listened to that voice,” Luigi said warmly.

“We’ve got to get back to the underground garage,” said Gadd. “After you.”

“Okeydokey, Professor,” said Luigi, brandishing the Poltergust. “Just stay close.”

They walked out of the ballroom and onto the mezzanine balcony.

“Look over there, Luigi,” said Gadd, pointing toward the elevator. “That’ll get us to the garage in an instant. Let’s go, before the ghosts find us!”

Luigi nodded, leading Gadd to the elevator and pressing the button to call it.

“Are you sure you’re not cold?” Gadd asked, concerned.

“No,” said Luigi. “I’m fine. I had to fight some ghosts before Polterpup and I came across you.”

“How did you manage to escape?” asked Gadd.

“Laundry chute. And Polterpup led me to your car and helped me find the Poltergust. I owe them both my life.”

The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. Gadd and Luigi walked inside—and then gawked at the panel.

“My word!” exclaimed Gadd. “Someone has pulled out all of the elevator buttons, save for B1! What’s going on here?”

“Hellen and King Boo want to keep us trapped inside,” Luigi told him. “I saw a few of Hellen’s lackeys barricading the main entrance. And even if they _didn’t_ barricade the main entrance, I’m not setting a foot out of this godforsaken hotel until my loved ones are out of danger.”

“All right, I get the point,” said Gadd.

Luigi pressed the button for B1, the doors clanged shut, and the elevator descended.

“None of your friends were trapped on the mezzanine with me,” Gadd said softly. “They must’ve been taken to one of the higher floors.”

“And they might’ve stashed each one in a different floor,” Luigi joined in. “I’ll need to keep my eyes peeled for those missing elevator buttons.”

“I was _just_ about to say that,” said Gadd.

The two of them rode the rest of the way to B1 in silence, save for Luigi softly humming along to the Musak playing.

When they reached their destination, Gadd and Luigi stepped out of the elevator and headed for the parking garage. The latter jumped as a portrait crashed to the ground, and Gadd couldn’t resist a chuckle.

“Glad to see that you find it funny,” Luigi said, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry, youngster,” said Gadd.

“You’re forgiven. Just—try not to laugh at someone who just saved your [bleep], all right?”

“All right.”

The two pushed through the door to the parking garage—only to stop in their tracks.

Gadd nudged Luigi. “That’s the kind fellow who showed me to my room!” he hissed.

“He helped us with our luggage,” Luigi added, "and he was waiting for us at he front desk when we checked in!"

There was Steward, sans his mask, heaving the luggage laying around onto a luggage rack. He paused to rest, wiping his brow, only to recoil in shock when he saw Luigi and Gadd standing there.

“Hey!” Steward exclaimed. “You’re not supposed to be here!”

Quickly, however, he pulled himself together, scrutinizing the pair. “Wait a second,” he gasped, spotting the Poltergust on Luigi’s back. “Holy [bleep]!” He pointed a shaky finger at the green-capped man. “Y—you’re the guy the Professor was talking about earlier! The—the—the mentee!”

“That’s right,” responded Luigi, leveling the Poltergust at Steward, “and right now—I’m his protector.”

Steward dumped the suitcases from the luggage rack before shoving the rack away. “I hoped things wouldn’t have to come to this,” he said, grabbing a suitcase and brandishing it at Luigi. “Come along, then!” he cried.

Without taking his eyes off of Steward, Luigi calmly addressed Gadd. “Professor—find somewhere to hide,” he instructed.

“I’m rooting for you, Luigi!” Gadd said encouragingly before he obliged, taking cover behind another pile of suitcases.

The ensuing battle between Steward and Luigi was fairly straightforward. The former’s sole attack consisted of chucking suitcases at the latter, and once Luigi dodged them, he moved in, stunning his opponent and slamming him against the pavement, nearby cars or other suitcases. If Luigi was lucky enough, then he could use that burst of air to knock the suitcases out of Steward’s hands and go on the offensive. Despite the simple premise, Luigi took several glancing blows from the heavy suitcases, knocking some wind from him. Not that he let that stop him, of course. Whenever a suitcase knocked him down, he’d push himself back up and charge right back into the fray. Cords and rings of muscle flashed and flexed along his upper body as he continued heaving and slamming Steward about, settling into a rhythm and timing the slams with his breaths.

Gadd watched Luigi in action from the safety of his hiding spot, yelling occasional encouragement to him. But most of the time, he was in fascinated silence. The sight of the green-capped youngster, beginning to work up a sweat as gave Steward the old what-for, lit a fire in him. It took Gadd back to a time where he, too, was a dark-haired youngster, a little timid around ghosts but nonetheless determined to study them, learn from them and figure out what made them so frightening. He realized that he hadn’t been in the thick of any ghost-hunting action in years, spending most of the time hidden away in a lab or a bunker. Having a front-row seat to Luigi slugging it out against a ghost brought back the memories of his past adventures, adventures which eventually brought him to Boo Woods—and ultimately, into Luigi’s orbit.

Gadd rested his chin in his hands, a contemplative look crossing his face. _Look at him,_ he thought. _He’s defending me from a ghost, even after what I put him through. Six years ago, I rudely roused him from a good night’s sleep and cast him into a life-threatening situation without so much as a by-your-leave. Do I really deserve this?_ He eyed the rhythmic slams and the way Luigi lunged his entire body into them, the bright eyes, the rounded mouth, the glistening torso, the belly button pulsing in and out as he breathed deeply. The quiet inner strength the elderly paranormal researcher first viewed when their paths crossed in that nostalgic mansion. This was the _last_ thing he wanted to be doing right now, but here he was, doing it. For his friends. For his family. For the Professor.

_From now on, I’m gonna treat that youngster better_ , vowed Gadd.

One suitcase knocked Luigi sprawling, and Gadd saw Polterpup dash into the fray, barking fiercely at Steward and encouraging his master to get back up. When Luigi did so, the ghost puppy grabbed another suitcase Steward was picking up in his jaws, yanking it out of the ghostly bellhop’s hand. Taking initiative, Luigi stunned Steward, and the relentless slamming began again, Polterpup latching onto the waistband of Luigi’s leggings to give him some extra horsepower. Ghost dog and ghost hunter became an effective team against their opponent as the battle gradually grew more intense, with the former committed to protecting the latter and the latter committed to protecting Gadd and making his way to the rest of his friends.

Finally, Steward was down to his last suitcase. As he clutched it in both hands, the ghost cast a lingering look at Luigi, breathless, bruised, his eyes gleaming with fire, his flushed skin glowing and winking in the garage’s harsh, fluorescent light.

“Look, Luigi,” said Steward. “I just want you to know—this isn’t personal.”

He chucked the final suitcase at Luigi, who nimbly cartwheeled aside and stunned Steward before he could get away. Several hefty slams depleted the last of his adversary’s HP, Luigi regarding Steward with a cool look before the latter disappeared into the Poltergust.

“It kinda feels personal,” Luigi observed.

Steward’s hat had been jostled off in the fracas, its owner sticking an arm out of the vacuum’s nozzle to snag it back with him. The vacuum then gave a great shudder before expelling two golden, bulb shaped objects forcefully enough to lift Luigi off his feet.

Gadd emerged from his hiding spot and hurried over to join his mentee.

“All righty!” he cheered. “That’s an old-fashioned ghostly scrap if there ever was one!” In a solemn tone, he added, “Thank you, youngster, for saving me and protecting me.”

Too winded to speak, Luigi nodded in response.

Polterpup scampered over as well, his master’s physical and emotional well-being his foremost priority. He knew of Luigi’s aversion to ghosts, understanding that the encounter with Steward had been far from pleasant.

“I’m all right—I’m all right,” said Luigi between gasps for breath as Polterpup stood on his hind legs and licked the plumber’s face.

He walked over to the bulb-shaped objects and carefully scooped them up, smiling when he found the numbers on them.

“Professor,” he said. “I think we just found the elevator buttons.”

“I never would’ve thought a ghost would take them,” said Gadd as he studied the buttons. “However, there are only two. Maybe the rest of the buttons are in the hands of some other ghosts?”

“Maybe,” Luigi echoed with some trepidation.

“But we’ll dwell on that later. Let’s get to my car—I’ve got something very interesting that I want to show you!”

Polterpup hopped into Luigi’s arms, the green-capped man stroking the pup’s fur throughout the rest of the walk to Gadd’s vehicle.

When they reached Gadd’s car, the Professor unlocked his vehicle, took out a dark green windbreaker and draped it over Luigi’s shoulders.

“ _Grazie_ ,” said Luigi.

Gadd gave him a smile and a nod, and then he popped open the trunk, reached in and took out a strange-looking red-and-silver device.

“What—is that thing?” asked Luigi as he reached out to touch it.

Gadd pulled the device out of his reach. “You’ll see,” he replied as the placed the device on an empty parking space.

Luigi watched in wonder as the device began to glow green, and then it expanded to the size of a modest ranch house and the shape of Gadd’s head. A satellite sprouted from the top of the device, putting a dent in the garage’s ceiling.

The plumber just gaped. He’d never seen such a contraption before in his life. Eventually, though, he regained his wits and followed Gadd and Polterpup inside.

Luigi was greeted with a fully-functioning control panel, console and several monitors. He looked around, awed, as Gadd hopped into a swivel chair and studied the younger man’s reaction.

“Welcome to my lab!” the Professor announced. “This is another of my brilliant inventions—a portable laboratory! It’s sturdy, safe and air conditioned!”

“It’s one-of-a-kind,” Luigi concurred.

He hopped into a chair opposite the Professor, who wasted no time treating his mentee's bruises with ice and salve.

“I always knew I’d need this one day," said Gadd. "Good thing I brought it along with me, right?”

“Right,” smiled Luigi. “So—how did you wind up in the Last Resort along with me, Mario, Peach and the Toads?”

“It’s a bit of a long story,” replied Gadd, “but in short—I was tricked!”

“Hm. So were we,” Luigi said softly.

“I got an invitation from the hotel’s owner just yesterday,” explained Gadd, “and I was so busy getting everything packed that I forgot to tell you. Any-who, the owner said that she had a precious collection of ghosts, gathered from all over the world, and she wanted me to take a gander! No self-respecting paranormal researcher would pass up on such an appealing offer, obviously! So, I accepted the invite. I haven’t been invited to many conventions as of late. But when I arrived, I learned that the invitation was only a ruse!”

“God Almighty,” said Luigi. “We were all played for chumps.”

“Hellen insisted that I bring King Boo along, so I did. I checked into my hotel room without incident, but in the middle of the night, Hellen roused me, saying that she simply couldn’t _wait_ to see my _piece de resistance_. And like a fool, I fell for it. I agreed to meet her in the garage, next to my car, but once I was at the chosen meeting spot, I wound up face-to-face with a royally p—ed off King Boo, along with many of his minions.

“I tried to flee, only for Hellen to grab me from behind and restrain me. And every one of those Boos lined up to take a swing at me. ‘For the King’, they said after taking their shot. After they had a turn, the King personally thrashed me before forcing me into a portrait frame. All I could do after that was pray that someone would find me. And you did.”

“My story is similar to yours,” said Luigi. “We all woke up at around 3:30 this morning, loaded up a bus and drove off. We arrived here late in the afternoon and also checked in without any problems. The hotel staff was friendly enough, but there was something about Hellen, you know. She was ogling me, ogling Peach and getting in our personal spaces. We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing, and I eventually fell asleep. Peach’s scream woke me up, I went to investigate—and there he was. He ambushed me when I didn’t have the Poltergust to defend myself. I took off running and jumped down the laundry chute. I’m the luckiest S.O.B. in the MK, because if it weren’t for the laundry chute or for Polterpup…” He trailed off.

“Things happen for a reason, Luigi,” said Gadd, “and now, you’re our only hope. Against all odds, without any hesitation and at any cost.”

“I won’t let you down. I swear it.”

Gadd set down the ice and ointment. "Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Tea? Cider? Maybe a bowl of tomato soup?"

"Not now," Luigi replied, "but thank you."

Gadd nodded at him, worry still in his eyes. “There’s another ghost vault behind me. You can empty the ghosts you’ve captured into that.”

Luigi crossed the room, located the vault and attached his vacuum to the vault’s slot.

“Good—good,” said Gadd once the Poltergust was emptied. “You’ll need to capture as many ghosts as you can. And be sure to return to the lab periodically. I’ll get the gallery set up so you can view the ghosts you’ve captured at any time.”

“Thanks,” said Luigi, “but aren’t you forgetting something?”

“What’s that, Luigi?”

“My friends? In King Boo’s sick clutches? The friends I’ve sworn to protect till my dying breath?”

“Oh—right! I completely and totally forgot about that! But even so, you have to explore this hotel if you want even a fool’s chance of rescuing them.”

Luigi bit his lip. “Sounds like fun,” he said.

“And to help you out, I’ll give you another of my recent inventions,” said Gadd, holding out what looked like a pair of VR goggles. “I call it—the Virtual Boo!”

“Really? The Virtual Boo?”

“VB for short,” said Gadd, handing Luigi the VB. “It’s a state-of-the-art VR device fitted with a fancy red screen. It’s really cutting-edge stuff—and red is all the rage, you know?”

“Out of all of the Nintendo consoles to model off of, you _had_ to pick this one?” asked Luigi.

“Yep. Just wait until I finish the marketing materials on this—it’ll fly off the shelves!” Gadd laughed as Luigi gave a skeptical look.

“You can use the VB to communicate with me at any time,” Gadd continued. “We can test out the communications system later. Right now…” He gave Luigi a cylindrical-shaped device. “…I’ll need you to install this elevator tracker inside the elevator for me, okay?”

“Okay,” said Luigi.

“Once you’re finished, I’ll tell you what it does.”

“Seems fair,” murmured Luigi. “See ya in a jiff.”

Luigi threw off the windbreaker, walked out of the lab and toward the elevator, scanning the area with the DLD, vacuuming up treasure, collecting a gem or two and even fighting some ghosts along the way. When he reached the elevator, he smacked the “call” button, making the doors open.

Once inside, Luigi went to work, setting up the elevator tracker next to the panel. The device opened up into a small LED screen, bearing the floor’s name and projected floorplan. Gadd’s face then materialized on a smaller screen above it.

“Hello, Luigi!” greeted Gadd. “It appears that the installation was a success!”

“And it was surprisingly easy,” said Luigi. “I used to do this for a living, remember?”

“The elevator tracker’s main purpose is to extract map data about each of the hotel’s floors from the elevator,” Gadd told him. “Then, it takes that data and displays it on the monitor! Isn’t that great?”

“It is,” said Luigi.

“Hey, why don’t you take the elevator buttons you collected and insert them into the panel?”

“Okay,” said Luigi, taking the two buttons out of his pocket.

One-by-one, the buttons flew out of his hand and magically screwed themselves into their proper places.

“This hotel hasn’t run out of ways to surprise me,” he murmured.

“I also think you should know that the elevator tracker links with the Virtual Boo,” said Gadd. “The map data is automatically sent to the VB, so you can view it anywhere at any time.”

“Good to know,” said Luigi.

“While exploring each of the floors, be on the hunt for more elevator buttons. They’ll help you progress through this hotel—and save your friends, of course. Now, let’s test the VB’s communication system. Could you put the goggles on, please?”

Luigi slipped the goggles onto his face. After a few seconds, an image of Professor Gadd appeared.

“Testing—testing—this is E. Gadd, resident genius! Am I coming through loud and clear?”

“Yeah,” replied Luigi.

“Fantastic! It appears that the VB’s communication system is working perfectly! That means you can use this to contact me anytime you need to! I may be able to offer some advice in a tough situation.”

“I sure hope so,” said Luigi.

“Now that we’ve conducted a successful test of the VB’s communication system, we can get back to work. And speaking of work—I have a job for you.”

“Do tell.”

“You can take the elevator to the 5th floor now, right?”

“Right.”

“I was actually staying in a room on that floor,” said Gadd. “There’s a briefcase in my room. Could you please fetch it for me, Luigi?”

“Of course, especially since you asked me so nicely.”

“Perfect! Good luck, my boy—try to come back alive!”

On those words, Gadd hung up, and Luigi took off the VB before pocketing it.

“Here we go,” he muttered before pressing the button to the 5th floor. Then, he leaned against the railing, plugged in his earbuds and selected a playlist on his Spotify as the elevator ascended.

It was time to psych himself up for another ghostly adventure.


	15. The Cleanup Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content/Trigger Warning: Brief discussion of non-con (taunting). You have been warned.

_Seriously? Our lives are at stake, and Gadd sends Luigi to fetch a_ briefcase _?! WTF?!_

_Calm down, all right? I’m sure the Professor knows what he’s doing._

_I don’t know—he_ did _sell King Boo’s portrait, which led to the Dark Moon incident. Sometimes, I think his mind’s going. He may be a man of science, but he’s an_ old _man of science._

_Yeah, I get what you’re saying. But we’ll just have to wait and see._

_Yeah, guess so—_

_But what we can take away from this is that Luigi’s still got the moves! Taking on ghosts right and left and socking it to Steward to defend Gadd. And he’s doing it shirtless. Anyone got a problem with that?_

_Not me._

_Not me, either._

_I dunno, guys. Those leggings aren’t doing anything for his [bleep]._

_Okay, first of all, Chad, I got him those leggings for our birthday. Second of all, nobody asked you to look._

_C’mon, guys, I think he looks great. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the MK’s [bleep]._

**…**

The fifth floor was in disarray when Luigi arrived, a knocked-over sofa blocking the corridor to his right and two suitcases blocking the corridor to his left. A little trash was strewn on the carpet, as well. Luigi closed his eyes as he remembered fleeing down the hallway toward that laundry chute, King Boo at his tail, his long tongue licking and lapping at him. The image of his bro, his prospective sis-in-law and the three Toads in their artistic prisons. Hellen’s evil grin and the King’s snarling face. He shouldn’t have run, but what else could he do when he didn’t have the Poltergust on his back? At least now, he could fight his way up to the top floor, with Professor Gadd guiding him along.

Polterpup nuzzled against his hip, and Luigi dropped to his knees, giving the dog some attention. Unlike the adventures in 2001 and 2013, he now had a faithful ghostly canine companion to provide backup, hints and emotional support. Surely, he couldn’t count _that_ out.

The Virtual Boo’s ringtone sounded, and Luigi quickly snatched up the goggles and put them on.

“Yello?”

“Hey, Luigi. I just remembered something important that I neglected to mention,” said Gadd.

“And what’s that?”

“Do you recall the plunger-shooting function on the Poltergust G-00?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’ve made a few modifications to it over the past year. It’s called—the Suction Shot. It’ll work as a weapon for you on your adventures.”

“Great!” said Luigi. “I was wondering why it wasn’t working earlier.”

“Never fear—it’s fully operational now. A good rule of thumb regarding the Suction Shot is that you can stick it onto flat and smooth surfaces. And if you suck up the rope, then you can tug on objects and pull off a powerful slam to break them.”

“That’ll make things easier,” mused Luigi.

“You should start shooting it at things right away! Practice makes perfect, after all.”

“Okeydokey.”

“Just don’t forget to get my briefcase.”

Luigi rolled his eyes. “I won’t.”

“Stay safe out there.”

“Okeydokey—bye-bye!”

Luigi hung up, pocketed the VB and vacuumed up the trash littering the carpet before turning toward the suitcases blocking his path. He aimed, took a deep breath, and fired off a plunger attached to a knotted rope. The plunger landed squarely in the center of the suitcase, and then Luigi pulled taut on the rope before heaving the suitcase forward with a grunt, smashing it to pieces on the floor and spilling its contents. He did the same to the other suitcase before vacuuming up said contents, which consisted of gold bars.

There was a small lounge area with a couple of sofas and a vending machine, and as Luigi was about to walk past it, the phone rang. Tentatively, he headed into the lounge and answered it.

“Hello?”

King Boo’s voice cackled on the other end.

Luigi spat out a curse and slammed the phone back onto its cradle, only for it to start ringing again.

“H—hello?”

“Gave you a scare, didn’t I?” chuckled King Boo’s voice. He was currently reclining on Hellen’s bed, sipping on a glass of Scotch, a nude Hellen contentedly curled up next to him.

“What do you want?” Luigi demanded of his nemesis. “How can you possibly torture me further?”

“Oh, maybe I can just talk about your lovely friends and how Hellen and I are _enjoying_ their company. Hellen _especially_ enjoyed your brother, and I _really_ enjoyed Peach. She was one red-hot piece of [bleep], let me tell you. Best—[bleep]—ever. I had no idea she enjoyed tongue-f—ing so much. Maybe because Mario does it, but hey, I can tongue-[bleep] better than him. She was inclined to agree—she made a peachy mess all over my mouth and all over the bed! And Hellen told me that she made your brother extremely— _excited_ —before we shoved him in a portrait frame.”

Luigi gagged.

“You okay, handsome?”

“Yeah—I just threw up in my mouth a little. Listen, I’d love to sit and chat with you longer, but you’re really starting to get on my nerves, and I have quite a few people to save.”

“Before you hang up—what did you think of our surprise in the ballroom?”

“Ensuring that I had no means of defending myself against you? That was a low blow.”

“Had to do what I had to do.”

Luigi inhaled through his nostrils and exhaled through his mouth. “I don’t know where you’re hiding,” he said. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing. And I don’t know why you think you can get away with this. Whatever you want that you think I have, I’ll tell you right now that you won’t get it. But there’s something else that I have—a very particular set of skills. Skills which I’ve perfected over the past 18 years. Skills which make me fear incarnate for you, your accomplice and your minions. If you let Mario, Peach and the Toads go right now, then that’ll be the end of it. I won’t look for you. I won’t pursue you. But if you don’t—then I _will_ look for you. I _will_ find you. And I will slam the f—ing Hell out of you with my new Poltergust.”

King Boo merely giggled. “Good luck,” he taunted before the line went dead.

Luigi whipped out his cell phone and switched to a heavy EDM playlist before setting off down the hall.

There was a cleaning cart in front of room 504, which seemingly moved by itself when Luigi approached. There was a _boom_ of thunder, the pitter-patter of rain and the sound of a few Goobs laughing.

“These are the Toads’ rooms,” realized Luigi. “I hope they won’t mind if I took a look around…”

He started with Chad’s room, and then he searched Brad’s and Thad’s rooms. The former two rooms were relatively pristine, save for the fact that Brad had one of his bags in his Jacuzzi. There was also one of those coin paintings in the back of Brad’s closet. However, Thad’s room was in the most disorder. Luigi deduced that the three Toads had been hanging out in Thad’s suite when Hellen and King Boo first sprung their trap. The bedsheets were rumpled, and a golf club was impaled in one of the sofas. At least they, along with Peach and Mario, hadn’t gone into their imprisonment quietly.

Once Luigi exited Thad’s room, a trio of Goobs burst out of the cleaning cart he’d seen earlier and surrounded him! They were clad in maid costumes and armed with feather dusters, mischievous looks on their faces as they looked Luigi over. But they were too busy ogling him to see him charge up his Strobulb and release the flash, immobilizing the first one he saw. Luigi slammed that Goob against the floor, the wall, the cleaning cart and the other two Goobs with a steady, metronomic rhythm, finding out that he could get in an extra two slams if he timed things correctly. After capturing the first Goob, he faced down the remaining Goobs, who aggressively brushed his face with their feather dusters. Their counterattacks didn’t hurt, of course, but they _did_ send him into a mild sneezing fit. But then, they turned the feather dusters on his stomach.

Oh, yes. Luigi was quite ticklish—and his abdomen was his most ticklish area.

Luigi was doubled over, laughing uncontrollably as the two Goobs tickled him. One Goob even targeted his belly button, which _really_ set him off. Both Goobs laughed with delight as they tickled him relentlessly. And they kept going until Luigi’s cheeks were pink, tears rolled down his face and every last nerve in his upper body was tingling. Then, they watched him slowly regain his composure, steady his arms and slide his thumbs back over the Strobulb button.

But then, they did something totally unexpected.

The Goobs winked at Luigi, waved goodbye and left peacefully. Luigi gawked after them for a few seconds before checking the VB. The room at the end of the hall was marked with a yellow exclamation point. He guessed that was Gadd’s room.

“Here I go,” he said softly, striding over to the room in question, room 508, and pushing open the door.

The inside of Gadd’s room was just as Luigi expected it to be. Beakers containing various chemicals sat on the nightstand, and there were yellow suitcases with green panels on them leaned against the wall. On the desk were several books, with some additional books scattered on the floor. And a short distance away from those scattered books—was a red briefcase, Gadd’s face imprinted on it in gold.

Unfortunately, there was someone in Gadd’s room at the moment. And that someone just so happened to be Chambrea, humming a tune as she pored over the tabletops with a feather duster.

“Brea?” Luigi asked softly.

Brea turned with a start. “Oh! Hey!” she said. “Can I help you? I have to clean the Professor’s room, but I’ll happily clean yours afterward.”

“I don’t need my room cleaned, and I’m sorry to bother you,” said Luigi, “but I just need to get that briefcase and take it to the Professor.”

Brea stopped dusting and floated over to the briefcase. “This?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

Brea picked up the case, hefting its weight in her hands. “What’s in here, anyway?” she asked.

“I really don’t know,” replied Luigi, “but if you’d kindly give it to me, then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Um—about that,” Brea said slowly. “There’s a bit of a problem.”

Luigi raised an eyebrow.

“You see—my orders are to—dispose of this briefcase.”

“And who gave you those orders?” asked Luigi, readying the Poltergust. “Hellen?”

Brea nodded. “You don’t know her like I do. She was all sugary and nice when you met her, but there’s another side to her, a side that only I’ve seen, along with Steward and the rest of the staff. If she and her friend find out that I gave you the briefcase—there’s no telling what they’ll do to me.”

“Then at least let me help,” said Luigi. “I can protect you from them. And Hellen’s friend—are you referring to King Boo?”

“That’s his name? Is he really a king?”

“Yes and yes—and a sadistic one, too.”

Brea huffed. “I knew that something was off. When you and the others arrived, I had this feeling in my gut. If I’d known for sure what Hellen was up to, then maybe I would’ve stopped it.”

“Just—give me the briefcase,” entreated Luigi, “and I’ll take you to see the Professor. If there’s some ghostly equivalent of witness protection, then he’ll see to it that you’re placed there.”

“Like _that’s_ gonna help,” scoffed Brea. “They can see everything I’m doing, and for all I know, they can hear this conversation we’re having right now.”

“This could be so simple, Brea. You hand over the briefcase, I walk out of here and you can just vanish. Nobody will ever know you had a part in this.”

Brea hugged the briefcase to herself, giving Luigi a suspicious look.

“How could I be in on this if I didn’t even know what she was planning?” she retorted. “She doesn’t tell her staff her plans. She just gives us orders, and God help us if we don’t follow them.”

Whatever was in that briefcase, Luigi knew now that it was something important. If he couldn’t persuade Brea to surrender the case, then he’d have no choice but to battle her for it.

“Please—just give me the case. I’ll make sure those two don’t hurt you,” Luigi said softly, reaching out to Brea.

But Brea jerked away, glaring at him.

“No way! You’re getting this briefcase over my dead body!”

“You don’t have a body, Brea,” Luigi observed. “You’re a ghost.”

Brea looked flustered. “I—whatever! You know what I’m saying! I can’t let you have this briefcase, and that’s final!”

Before Luigi could react, Brea shoved the briefcase into her mouth, swallowing it whole.

“Brea, wait!” he cried.

“I’m sorry,” Brea told him before making her escape, phasing through the wall, which was a bit of a struggle due to the suitcase in her stomach.

Luigi sighed in frustration, and then he heard the VB go off.

He answered with a terse “Yeah?”

“Hey, Luigi,” said Gadd. “Sorry, I was busy and just got back to my desk. Did I miss anything important? And what’s the status on my briefcase?”

“I found your briefcase—but then Chambrea, the maid, swallowed it up and fled!”

“Well, that won’t do, will it? Don’t just stand there—get after her!”

“I’m on it,” said Luigi. “Bye-bye.”

He hung up and turned to leave—only to be startled off his feet by another trio of Goobs in maid outfits. The ghosts laughed at his reaction, and once he scrambled to his feet, they began advancing on him.

This time, Luigi was able to stun two of the three, slamming them into the remaining ghost with all his strength. It took four slams to defeat the first two Goobs, and only two to defeat the last one. He smiled before giving the nozzle a quick twirl. This new Poltergust sure made fighting ghosts much easier!

After scanning the wall with the DLD, Luigi figured that Brea was hiding in the next room over, so that was where he went. It turned out to be a room under construction, complete with tarps, buckets, ladders and toolboxes. For a second, his blood went cold at the possibility of this room being intended for Daisy. King Boo had every reason under the sun to go after her.

_As if. Daisy would’ve driven him away in no time._ The thought of his tomboyish Flower Princess fending off the Master of Illusions made Luigi smile. That creep would _never_ get his appendages on her!

He was brought back to the present when he spotted Brea dusting the tabletop. Quietly, he stepped toward her.

“I don’t wanna fight you, Brea,” he said when he was within stunning range. “All I want is the briefcase.”

Brea whirled around, hands on her hips. “What part of ‘You’re not getting it’ do you not understand?” she asked.

“Look—we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way,” Luigi told her.

Brea wore a resigned expression on her face. “You’ve left me no choice,” she said, brandishing her feather duster.

“Okeydokey—hard way it is,” said Luigi, charging the Strobulb.

Unfortunately, Brea shrugged off the Strobulb flash, and after several more attempts, Luigi soon saw why. The bulky briefcase was protecting her against the bright light. Luigi could see the imprint of Gadd’s face through Brea’s transparent body, and since the briefcase was a hard, smooth surface…

_That’s it! I can use the Suction Shot to defeat her!_

He dodged to avoid Brea’s feather duster before shooting a plunger onto her stomach, and by extension, the briefcase. Brea looked down in confusion and tried to pull the plunger off, but Luigi worked fast. Before she knew what was happening, Luigi was slamming her all around the room—against the tarped floor, against table tops, against the buckets and ladders and against the bare mattress, grunting softly with each slam.

Eventually, Brea broke free and wriggled her feather duster directly over Luigi’s belly button, eliciting a giggle from him.

Brea grinned. “Works every time,” she gloated.

Relentlessly, she assailed his torso and tummy with her feather duster until he was slumped against the side of the mattress, laughing and struggling to speak, all of his muscles jumping and dancing.

“Yeah—I have a bit of a tickle fetish,” Brea said softly as she tickled away, “and you’ll find that some of the Goobs around here do, too. But why kick up a fuss over it?”

She paused and then studied her handiwork. “Listen, I’d love to tickle you all night, but I’ve really gotta get rid of this briefcase before Hellen starts getting on my case. Enjoy the rest of your stay!”

Brea floated out of the room, leaving Luigi to compose himself, catch his breath and straighten up. Just as he emerged into the corridor, the VB rang.

“Yello?”

“Brea is a playful one, I see,” said Gadd.

“Yeah,” said Luigi. “She looks genuinely frightened of Hellen. I offered to help her, but she just grabbed the briefcase and took off. At least she’s trying not to really hurt me. Hey, Professor—have you ever come across any tickle-happy ghosts?”

“Once or twice, but I’ll tell you about it later. Keep up the good work, and don’t let all that tickling distract you!”

“Okay. Bye-bye.”

Luigi hung up and then scanned the hallway with the DLD, tracking Brea down to Brad’s room. He walked in on her fussing over the bed, adjusting the sheets. Her head snapped up when she heard him approach, and a mischievous smile quirked her lips.

“That wasn’t enough tickling for you?” she asked. “Well, there’s certainly more where _that_ came from!”

Brea and Luigi circled each other, and the latter acted first, firing off another plunger, which stuck to the briefcase. The two struggled over the rope the plunger was attached to, but Luigi won, the heaving and slamming beginning anew.

Brea’s HP was halfway depleted when a pair of Goobs grabbed Luigi from behind, jostling his grip on the Poltergust and pinning his arms behind his back.

“Hey! Let me go!” Luigi shouted, struggling against the Goobs.

Brea picked up her feather duster. “You know what I think?” she asked. “I think you’re wound a little too tightly. You said you could help me, but now, I wanna help _you_.”

“You can help me by handing over the briefcase,” said Luigi.

“Sorry—that’s still out of the question. But I can do something better for you,” smirked Brea.

“Brea, for God’s sake…” But whatever else he wanted to say was lost in a giggling fit as Brea’s feather duster once again danced across his bare stomach.

Moving the duster rapidly between his belly button and the base of his chin, the ghostly maid effectively reduced Luigi to a laughing heap in the Goobs’ grip. She could’ve easily turned him over to her boss and left him to her nonexistent mercy, but she didn’t. Brea wanted Luigi out of the way so she could perform her task, but she didn’t want him hurt—or worse. Besides, tickling him was more fun. Each moment she spent doing so enabled her to pinpoint the most tickle-able areas on his skin.

In no time, Luigi was laughing to the point of breathlessness. Brea noticed his flushing cheeks and paused her ticklish assault long enough for him to get some wind back, only to start back up again. Exchanging a look, the Goobs holding him pulled out their own feather dusters and joined in, turning the tickle-fest into a three-pronged tickle attack. Luigi threw back his head and shrieked with laughter, his body twisting and writhing in a vain attempt to free himself. They tickled him so intensely that his toes curled and his eyes watered.

“See? There you go,” said Brea. “A little bit of tickling is just what the doctor ordered. Besides, why would you be so wound up on your vacation?”

_Because the vacation turned out to be a trap_ , Luigi wanted to reply, but the three feather dusters twizzling all over his skin ensured that he couldn’t string together a coherent sentence.

Meanwhile, Polterpup was watching all of this go down, and as entertaining as it was to watch Luigi getting tickled, he soon realized that the poor guy was in a tight spot. Remembering Peach’s words, he began brainstorming ways to help his master. And then his eye fell on the Poltergust. As he recalled, there was a button that would activate that burst of air, something that could be useful for crowd control.

Yes! That was it! All he had to do was trot over without being noticed and press that button!

So, he did.

The Goobs were knocked backward by the burst of air, causing them to release Luigi. He, too, was caught off guard, but Polterpup steadied him before he could land on his butt. The ghost dog immediately checked Luigi for injuries, but save for a pink flush budding on his skin, he was relatively unscathed.

Luigi took several calming breaths, his upper body tingling like crazy. Then, he glanced at Polterpup and figured out everything.

“Well, why didn’t I think of that sooner?” he asked, hugging the puppy. “Good doggie!”

Then, he faced Brea and the two Goobs, Poltergust back in his hands and ready to go. “Time to turn the tables,” he said, stunning the Goobs as they flew at him.

As Luigi vacuumed them up, Brea chased after him, turning her feather duster against any exposed patch of skin. But Luigi was too fast, dodging, sliding and rolling aside—eventually weaponizing the Goobs by repeatedly slamming them on top of her. After he defeated the Goobs, Brea brushed his nose with her duster, making him sneeze, before fleeing into the bathroom. Luigi took off after her, only to see that she’d phased through the wall, as well.

“Thad’s room,” he realized, rushing over there on the double.

Brea was waiting for him, instantly going on the attack when he walked through the door. The next few minutes consisted of him darting and dodging about the room, trying to get a good aim for his Suction Shot. Whenever she pounced with her feather duster, he used that burst of air to throw her off of him. But after enduring one final tickle-fest, he finally managed to squeeze off a Suction Shot, which landed right in the center of the briefcase.

Brea knew now that her goose was cooked. “For what it’s worth,” she said. “I’m really sorry that this happened to you.”

“I know,” Luigi said quietly.

Then, he set his face, pulled the plunger taut and slammed the ghostly maid against the carpet until the briefcase flew out of her.

Brea accepted defeat nobly, playfully flailing her feather duster at Luigi one last time before she was sucked into the Poltergust.

“Don’t worry, Brea,” he said. “I’ll leave you a hefty tip before I check out.”

He walked over to the briefcase and picked it up, only to hear something rattling inside his vacuum’s nozzle. Curious, he tipped the nozzle forward until an elevator button rolled into his palm.

“Yeah!” he cheered, doing a little victory dance. “You’re on a roll!”

Gadd’s voice crackled over the VB. “It seems you’ve acquired another elevator button, along with my briefcase,” he said.

“I did,” Luigi replied.

“Well done, my boy. Come on back to the lab!”

“I’m on my way,” said Luigi before hanging up.

After grabbing the briefcase, he walked out of the room and started toward the elevator bay. The sofa still blocked his path toward the other rooms, but when he tried to get rid of it using the Suction Shot, the weight was too much. He’d just have to deal with it later.

Luigi called the elevator, stepped inside, and watched as the newest elevator button screwed itself into place.

“Awesome—you can now access the third floor!” announced Gadd. “But before you head there, bring my briefcase back to the lab, because I really need it.”

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi.

He smacked the B1 button and silently rode the elevator down, petting Polterpup the whole way.

**…**

_…_

_That_ is _the MK’s_ _[bleep]_. _Huh._


	16. Mirror

_I feel kinda bad for Brea. She was quite courteous, considering._

_I concur. But what’s in that briefcase?_

_If Gadd insisted that Luigi fetch it for him, then it must be pretty important._

_Must be. Let’s find out…_

**…**

“Welcome back, Luigi!” said Gadd when he saw his mentee arrive. “May I have my briefcase, please?”

“Here you go,” said Luigi, handing over the briefcase. “I took a lot of tickling to get that back for you.”

“And I appreciate it,” smiled Gadd, positioning the suitcase in his lap. “All righty, Luigi. I believe your current predicament requires the assistance of an old friend.”

The Professor opened the suitcase and took out a vial containing a lime green substance. “Two heads are better than one, after all,” he went on.

Luigi stared. “Is—is that who I think it is?” he asked.

“You’d better believe it,” replied Gadd. “Turn around for me, would you?”

Luigi obliged, and Gadd transferred the green substance to the Poltergust’s Plexiglass tank.

“Gooigi’s back, and he’s better than ever,” said Gadd. “After I recalled him from the past, I found time to improve his structural makeup. Follow me outside, and you’ll see.”

The two walked out into the garage, where there was a simple cage suspended from a rope attached to a pulley. Gadd directed Luigi to stand under the cage before pressing a button on a remote, dropping the cage to the floor and trapping the younger man.

“Hey!” shouted Luigi.

“Looks like I’ve caught you in my trap, my boy!” chuckled Gadd. “Well—not really, of course, but I’m gonna need you to stay locked up for this.”

“Whatever ‘this’ is, make it quick,” Luigi said, a little sharply. “I have five people depending on me.”

“Of course—of course,” huffed Gadd. “The thing is—I want you to try and use Gooigi to escape from your cell.”

“Oh,” said Luigi. “That makes sense—kinda.”

“There’s a green button on the side of the Poltergust. Do you see it?”

“Yeah.”

“Press that green button to summon Gooigi. You can press it again to recall him to his tank at any time.”

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi, pressing the green button.

Just like that, Gooigi popped out of the tank, looking around. Then, he let out a deep sigh.

“ _Dio_!” he exclaimed. “I thought I’d never get out of there! Do you know how _uncomfortable_ it is to travel in a suitcase?”

His eye fell on Luigi, and a joyful cry burst from his lips. “There he is! There’s my bro!” he shouted.

“Gooigi!” Luigi exclaimed as his gooey doppelganger jumped into his arms.

“I’ve missed you so much!” cried Gooigi.

“I’ve missed you, too,” said Luigi. “So, how was your trip to the past?”

“It was fun. I got to interact with the past version of you and even the past version of Mario. I could see why that adventure changed you. But after that, the Professor was constantly running these tests on me.” Gooigi rolled his eyes.

“You—you look different,” said Luigi, and he was right. Gooigi’s features were more prominent, and he was more—transparent—than when they last interacted. His consistency leaned more toward that of Jell-O than of slime. And not only that, he was more expressive.

“That’s why the Professor was running tests on me. He wanted to give me new abilities,” explained Gooigi. “How about you? How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been all right, up until this point,” said Luigi. “However, we’ll have to catch up later. As you can see, we’re in a cage, and according to the Professor, you’re the only one who can get us out.”

“That’s right,” Gadd chimed in. “Gooigi can slip through tight spaces now, such as grates or vents. I was able to make his body incredibly soft and malleable.”

Gooigi looked Luigi over, just now seeing his state of dishabille, and then shifted the Goo on his upper body to match his counterpart’s appearance.

“And—he can do _that_ , for some reason,” said Gadd.

Curiously, tentatively, Gooigi reached out a hand and trailed it along the mosaic of muscles etched on Luigi’s skin. Luigi blushed slightly in response, but he didn’t object or push Gooigi’s hand away.

“You’re right,” Luigi said softly. “Gooigi _is_ soft.” So soft and so smooth and so cool and so _warm_ —

“Er—Luigi—is he checking you out?” asked Gadd.

“I—think he’s just curious,” said Luigi. “Being modeled after me and all.”

“But he met you over a year ago.”

“In that case—he’s _still_ kinda curious,” shrugged Luigi.

He stopped Gooigi before he could brush a thumb over a nipple. “All right, Gooigi—I think that’s enough for now,” he said.

Gooigi, too, was blushing—if you could call it that. “Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just—I…”

“I get it. This is your first time seeing me up close. But it’s not like King Boo gave me time to change into my shirt and overalls before chasing me out of my room.”

Gooigi’s eyes flashed. “King Boo escaped?”

“He did. And he has Mario and Peach and…”

“Our bro? That b—d took our bro?!”

Luigi nodded. “We were invited to this hotel, but it turned out to be a trap. It was only a miracle that I managed to get away.”

“Oh, no! We gotta stop him and save the others!”

“But before that,” said Luigi, “we need to get out of this cage.”

“The wheel that’ll lift the cage back up is right across from you,” said Gadd. “See if you can reach it, Gooigi.”

“Okeydokey—here I go!” chirped Gooigi as he squeezed his way through the cage bars with a pleasing squishy sound.

“Do you see it?” asked Luigi.

“Yeah—it’s right inside that cubicle,” replied Gooigi.

He strode toward the mechanism, only to hesitate when he stepped into a puddle.

“Uh-oh,” said Gooigi as he melted.

“Still vulnerable to water, I see,” observed Luigi.

“Water—and open flame,” said Gadd.

Gooigi reformed in the Poltergust’s tank, and Luigi summoned him again.

“Be careful this time,” said Luigi.

Nodding, Gooigi squished through the cage’s bars, stepped around the puddle and made his way into the cubicle, where he hefted his own Poltergust and blew on the wheel. The wheel turned, activating the pulleys and lifting the cage back up.

“Yeah!” cheered Luigi as he walked out. “You did it!”

Gadd nodded in approval. “I feel like I can let the two of you run loose,” he said. “First, however, let’s head back inside the lab.”

They did so, and Luigi took the time to empty the Poltergust. He then observed Steward and Brea, gazing longingly at each other.

“Look—I’m sorry I had to capture you guys,” sighed Luigi, “but Steward, I had to keep the Professor safe, and Brea, I needed that briefcase. I’ll let you out after I save my friends, okay?”

The two ghosts nodded.

“No hard feelings, Luigi,” said Brea. “Good luck out there!”

Luigi smiled and turned toward Gadd, who offered him a bagel smeared with cream cheese and some cranberry juice, which he gratefully accepted.

“I don’t think Brea and Steward were aware that this was a trap,” he said. “Brea, especially—she appeared genuinely afraid of Hellen. She implied that—she doesn’t treat her staff very well.”

“How do you know it’s not a bluff?” asked Gadd.

“Trust me, people don’t bluff about things like that unless they’re truly depraved,” said Luigi, “and while Steward and Brea were unnerving when we checked in—they were nothing short of courteous.”

“We’re gonna meet other ghosts, you know,” said Gooigi. “I can feel it. And they’ll probably won’t be as nice.”

“Maybe,” said Luigi.

“What do you mean, ‘maybe’? They’re standing between us and our friends, and they’ll have no qualms over hurting you, or worse. I wanna protect you, Luigi!”

“Gooigi…” Luigi started to say.

“That’s why the Professor created me! To look after you, as any brother would.”

“Gooigi,” gasped Gadd. “Do you—really care about him?”

“Yes,” said Gooigi. “I’m not helping him because you programmed me to or anything. I’m helping him because I _want_ to help him. He’s sticking out his neck for his brother and for the woman he’s grown to regard as a sister, and d—mit, I’m doing the same for him.”

“Well—I’ll be d—ned,” Gadd said softly. “You’re becoming—sentient.”

“I’ve always been sentient, Professor. I’ve been sentient from the day you accidentally discovered me. But it wasn’t until I was shaped into Luigi’s likeness that I was able to properly communicate and express myself. I wanted to tell you, but I was hoping that as a man of science, you’d figure it out on your own.”

Gadd was speechless.

“I may look like Luigi’s mirror image,” said Gooigi, “but I can be so much more. Give it time, and you’ll see.”

He turned toward Luigi.

“You’ll see,” he repeated.

“It’s good to have you aboard, Gooigi,” Luigi said heartily. “At least I won’t have to fight my way up this hotel alone. Plus, I’ll have someone to talk to on this go-round.”

“And I can reach the places you can’t,” added Gooigi.

Luigi set down his half-eaten bagel and slugged back the cranberry juice. “I’m going in,” he said.

“I meant what I said earlier,” said Gadd, having regained his voice. “Check back periodically. I have a first-aid kit, so I can tend to the injuries you’ll probably sustain. Plus, I’ll have refreshments waiting.”

“Will do,” said Luigi. “Ready, Gooigi?”

“Ready,” Gooigi replied.

Hand-in-hand, the two headed back outside, Polterpup following close behind.

“What’s our first stop, Luigi?” asked Gooigi.

“I recently obtained the button to the third floor,” said Luigi, “but before that—I say we do a little more exploring on the floors I’ve previously visited. There are lots of gems and treasure hiding about, and quite possibly more ghosts, as well. And the more ghosts we catch, the better.”

“Let’s do it,” said Gooigi.

Their first stop was a floor vent near Gadd’s car. Luigi pulled it open using the Suction Shot and accessed some sort of mechanical area with boxes, wads of trash and a painting of coins. There was also a grate that Gooigi could slip through, where he was able to find a gem. After that, they went to an electrical area, which only Gooigi could access, obtaining another gem. Then, Luigi vacuumed that parking garage from top to bottom, slamming suitcases and other luggage overhead and collecting anything valuable. As he predicted, more ghosts were out and about, but they allowed both Luigi and Gooigi to practice with their Poltergusts.

“Now let’s search the rest of the basement,” said Luigi. “There should be more gems there.”

And there were. There was a gem in a washing machine in the laundry room, a gem hidden inside a painting, and a gem concealed in the stairway to the lobby, which only Gooigi could find. Plus, there were hidden objects that Luigi and Gooigi could uncover with the DLD.

More gems awaited them in the lobby, as well, which were shaped like diamonds. One was hidden in a flower pot, and another was hidden in a painting of the hotel. When they reached the front desk, Luigi inadvertently stepped on a panel, which gave him an idea.

“Hey, Gooigi,” he said. “There must be another panel somewhere around.”

“S’okay—I found it,” said Gooigi, stepping on a panel across from Luigi.

They glanced up as a light fixture lowered, and together, they blew on it until the lights flickered on and treasure dropped from it, including a third gem.

The two high-fived before collecting everything and facing off against another group of Goobs.

In the lounge area, one of the sofas was missing. Luigi was able to reveal it using the DLD, but he wasn’t ready for the Goob which popped out of it! This Goob had a strange, crystalline appearance and preferred to fly about the room in a panic, rather than engage Luigi or Gooigi in a fight. The two ghost hunters quickly cornered the Goob, Gooigi stunning them and Luigi subduing them with the ever-reliable slamming move. Upon their defeat, the Goob faded out, replaced with a gem.

“A Gem Goob,” realized Luigi as he scooped up the gem. “ _Now_ I’ve seen everything.”

“Look! I see another gem above the concierge desk!” said Gooigi.

“And it looks stuck in some sort of frame,” mused Luigi. “How are we gonna…?”

“Follow me,” said Gooigi. “I sense something.”

The two headed up the stairs onto the mezzanine balcony before turning left, Gooigi directing Luigi to roll up the rug with his vacuum. Luigi did so, revealing another grate Gooigi could slip through. Using this grate, Gooigi used that burst of air to knock the gem onto the concierge desk. Then, he picked up the gem and tossed it to Luigi.

“Wow,” breathed Luigi. “You’re amazing. We could make quite a team, you and I.”

Gooigi nodded as he rejoined his companion. “It’s us against the ghosts, and the ghosts are gonna lose!” he said enthusiastically.

“You’re right,” Luigi said quietly. “They are.”

He peered through a crack in the wall, spotting another gem in the ballroom. The two of them went inside and retrieved the gem by blowing on a chandelier to open a secret passageway. When they walked out of the passageway, they were instantly surrounded by even more Goobs. Ten minutes later, all of them were captured.

“All right,” said Luigi. “Now, we can head to the fifth floor, where I can _finally_ get some clothes on.”

They strode over to the elevator and stepped inside, and Luigi pressed the button to take them up to the RIP Suites.

“I promise I won’t let you down,” Gooigi said softly as they ascended. “I have infinite lives, so you don’t have to worry about losing me.”

“Thank you for doing this,” said Luigi.

“I can’t wait to meet Mario,” Gooigi went on. “Officially. Do you think he’ll like me?”

“I’m sure he will, after I explain how you came to be,” said Luigi. Then, he sighed.

“Some Goo for your thoughts?”

“Why didn’t I see this coming?” asked Luigi. “Right out of the blue, we were all invited to this hotel, and when we arrived, we were the only ones here. Why didn’t I suspect anything?”

Gooigi rubbed the small of Luigi’s back.

“When I saw those masks, I should’ve said something. Maybe we all would’ve been able to escape. But now, my friends are in danger, and I don’t know what Hellen and King Boo could be doing to them…”

Quietly, Gooigi drew Luigi in for a soft, gooey embrace. Luigi buried his face against Gooigi’s chest and returned the embrace, thankful for the comfort and security.

“Hey,” said Gooigi. “S’okay, Luigi. S’okay. S’okay.”

“You’re right,” said Luigi. “Moping and feeling sorry for myself won’t get them out of this. We have to fight.”

Gooigi pressed his forehead to Luigi’s. “I’m with you to the end of the line, Bro,” he said.

“ _Grazie_ , Gooigi. That means a lot.”

The spent the rest of the elevator ride humming along to the Musak.

When they reached the 5th floor, Gooigi and Luigi stepped out of the elevator and used their Suction Shots to get rid of the sofa blocking their path.

“The doors to the suites,” said Gooigi. “They’re missing.”

“King Boo, he…” Luigi swallowed as he recalled that harrowing chase. “He cast Spirit Balls on them while he was pursuing me down the hallway. But now that we each have a DLD, we can draw them back out.”

The duo shone their Dark-Light devices on the three doors before vacuuming up the Spirit Balls. Then, Luigi pushed open the door to his own room and walked inside.

“Thank God, he left everything untouched,” he mused as he picked out a shirt and some coveralls to wear.

Gooigi sidled in. “I’ll be on the lookout for ghosts while you change,” he said.

“Great. Thanks.”

Luigi slid off the Poltergust, strode into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face. After patting himself dry, he turned around to see Polterpup seated behind him, staring at him with those huge puppy eyes.

“Seriously?” Luigi teasingly chided, cracking a smile. “Five people I care about the most are in danger, and you want a bath?”

Polterpup gave a happy woof.

“Okeydokey—you talked me into it. But it has to be a quick bath, okay?”

“Woof!”

Luigi gathered Polterpup in his arms and placed him in the tub before turning on the shower, adjusting the temperature and gliding the soft spray over the puppy’s fur. Gooigi walked in with the shampoo, conditioner and brush.

“Thanks, Gooigi,” said Luigi. “Just watch your step. There’s gonna be a lot of water when I’m finished.”

Gooigi nodded before withdrawing.

“I suppose—you _do_ deserve a bath,” said Luigi as he got Polterpup nice and lathered up. “You woke me up after I jumped down the laundry chute and led me to the Poltergust, to Gadd—not to mention the _ticklish_ situation you saved me from.” He worked the lather deep into the ghost puppy’s fur, whispering words of gratitude and love to him as he did. Polterpup just stretched himself out in the tub and enjoyed. This bath would be abbreviated, but that didn’t make it any less special.

“It’s strange—you seemed to know that I was in danger, and you rushed to help,” mused Luigi when he was finished applying the doggie conditioner and was waiting for it to work its magic. “How is that? Is that because you’re such a good puppy?”

Polterpup woofed in assent.

“Can I count on you to help me through this?”

Another woof.

“And maybe afterwards, I’ll give you an extra-special bath. How is that?”

Polterpup licked Luigi’s cheek. A little extra incentive wouldn’t hurt.

“Okay, doggie,” said Luigi, rinsing away the conditioner and wrapping a towel around Polterpup before taking him into his lap, drying him off and gliding the doggie brush across his fur.

When he was finished, he kissed the top of Polterpup’s head and carried him out of the bathroom before setting him on his bed. Then, he stripped off his leggings and slipped on his overalls, followed by his green shirt. Finally, he smoothed his hair beneath his green cap and slid his Poltergust back on.

“Okay,” he said. “We’ve got some more exploring to do!”

He strode out of his room, followed by Gooigi and Polterpup, and ventured into the lounge, where he noticed two planks covering a broken window. Using the Suction Shot, he pulled away the planks and cautiously stepped onto the ledge, inching his way toward a treasure chest and revealing a hidden section along the way.

Swiftly, Luigi collected everything, and Gooigi helped him back into the lounge.

“Hey,” said Gooigi, “I pulled down the vending machine, and it turns out that there’s a door hidden behind it.”

“Good going!” cheered Luigi. “Let’s go check it out.”

The door Gooigi uncovered opened into a small laundry room, and the two ghost hunters set about vacuuming everything. Towels, laundry supplies, empty boxes. They pulled open the doors to the washers and dryers using their Suction Shots, causing treasure to spill out. However, one washer revealed a golden Goob who behaved just like the Gem Goob. Luigi was able to stop that Goob in their tracks and capture it, which yielded massive amounts of gold.

“We’ve got Gold Goobs _and_ Gem Goobs around here,” mused Luigi.

“Goobs?” asked Gooigi.

“That’s—that’s what I decided to call them,” explained Luigi.

“Oh.”

The two of them then went into another mechanical area, where Gooigi slipped through some grates and opened a treasure chest. After that side-stop, they walked into Brad’s room—where they were confronted by a small group of ghosts dressed like maids and bellhops!

“I’ve got your back, Luigi!” shouted Gooigi as the two charged up their Strobulbs.

Luigi released his charge first, nailing a Goob dressed as a bellhop and beginning to drag them into the vacuum. “It’s my front I’m more concerned about!” he shouted back. With a grunt, he slammed the Goob into the floor, with Gooigi following suit with a Goob of his own.

Gooigi and Luigi fought off the Goobs together, emerging sweaty (at least in Luigi’s case) but not seriously injured. Then, they walked into Brad’s bathroom, where Gooigi slipped through the drainage grate and found two sacks stuffed with dollar bills.

“This is one weird hotel,” mused the gooey ghost-hunter.

“Say that again,” said Luigi.

“I think we should do this for all of the bathrooms,” said Gooigi. “There may be some very important stuff to uncover. Which room should we start with?”

“The Professor’s room,” said Luigi. “Come on.”

They walked fairly fast down the hallway to Gadd’s room, battling a couple of ghosts along the way. When they reached their destination, Luigi led Gooigi to Gadd’s bathroom, where the latter slid under the grates to find a simple network of pipes. Using these pipes, Gooigi was able to access a treasure chest.

When they emerged back into the corridor, they were greeted by more Goobs. And these Goobs were armed with flashlights of their own, which they wielded as clubs.

The two ghost-wranglers led the Goobs to the elevator bay, where they had more room to put up a proper fight, and by extension, greater freedom of movement. For the next five minutes, Gooigi and Luigi slammed Goobs this way and that and into the first object they saw. Luigi emerged from this battle with a few bruises, but he hardly felt them.

He and Gooigi rested for a bit before deciding to explore Peach’s room, and then Mario’s room. The former didn’t have a drainage grate, but it had a nice little patio, where Luigi found a gem in the mouth of a Gothic statue. Watering some plants in the small garden caused them to grow into those flowers which spat out gold coins when flashed with the Strobulb. In Mario’s room, there was a valve beneath the storage grate, and Gooigi had to turn that valve in order for the shower to work correctly.

“Wait,” said Luigi when they were finished. “Professor Gadd’s room had a patio, too.”

So, the two of them explored Gadd’s patio, and when Luigi peered through a telescope, another Gem Goob popped up. Gooigi stunned them, and once Luigi recovered from his shock, he captured the ghost and pocketed the gem left in their wake.

Once all of the treasure and all of the gems had been obtained, Luigi turned to Gooigi. “All right,” he said. “Our next stop is the third floor.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna get anything else out of your room before we head out?” asked Gooigi.

“Actually…” Luigi bolted to his room and grabbed his own first-aid kit, along with a few bottles of water.

“Glad I asked that,” said Gooigi when he returned.

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi when they boarded the elevator. “According to the Virtual Boy, the third floor houses the Hotel Shops.” He snickered. “Thank God I brought my wallet.”

“You’re thinking of buying a souvenir?” asked Gooigi.

“Maybe,” responded Luigi.

And the two of them laughed. 


	17. Dress You Up

_Okay—so—Luigi has a green, gooey doppelganger. That’s not in the least bit creepy. Not at all._

_Well, two is better than one, I say, and since this clone can’t permanently die, that’s a big boost for us, isn’t it?_

_You bet it is. Plus, he still has Polterpup by his side. Luigi’s in good hands, and thus, so are we._

_Hm. I couldn’t have said that better myself._

_Exactly! I see this as an absolute win!_

**…**

“Here we are,” said Luigi when he, Gooigi and Polterpup disembarked from the elevator. “The Hotel Shops.”

“Yeah,” said Gooigi. “Too bad the entrance is locked.”

Luigi glanced at the revolving doors, which were concealed by a screen with a padlock on it. “Well, of course the entrance is locked, because the place is closed,” he said. “However, the key must be around here somewhere. Let’s start looking for it.”

The trio decided to begin their search in the bathrooms. The ladies’ room was blocked off, but the men’s room was accessible. However, before they could enter the men’s room, the phone next to the restrooms rang.

Tentatively, Luigi answered it. “Hello?”

“Hey, Luigi,” cooed Hellen. “I hope you’re not _too_ busy right now.”

“What do you want, Hellen?”

“Just to wish you good luck in collecting those elevator buttons,” said Hellen. “Trust me, you’ll need it. The King and I have called in a few _friends_ to guard them, and they won’t give them up without a fight.”

“Friends, huh? Well, I look forward to meeting them,” Luigi said smartly. “Nice talking to you, Hellen.” On those words, he slammed the phone back into the cradle.

“Hey, Luigi,” said Gooigi.

“Yeah?”

Gooigi trained his DLD on the spot next to the phone, where a second phone materialized. The two of them quickly vacuumed up the Spirit Balls, and then Gooigi lifted the phone from the receiver, only to place it back down.

A Gold Goob popped out from seemingly nowhere and fled down the hallway. Gooigi and Luigi caught up to them, capturing them within minutes and vacuuming up the treasure they dropped.

“All right,” said Gooigi. “Now to find the key.”

They walked into the men’s room, where they could hear the sound of rushing water from next door.

“I guess that’s why the ladies’ room is closed,” said Luigi. “A toilet’s flooded. But how can we get to the ladies’ room if the doorway is cordoned off?”

Gooigi smirked at him. “Once a plumber, always a plumber, huh?” he asked.

“Hey—I’m still a plumber,” said Luigi.

He turned and fired a Suction Shot at a steel covering, which he yanked away to reveal a green pipe. Gooigi, meanwhile, scanned the room with his DLD, eventually uncovering a drainage grate.

Luigi beamed. “Perfect!” he cried. “Now you can head down there and look for a way to fix that leak.”

Gooigi slipped through the grate, making sure to avoid the puddles of water, along with the water gushing from a pipe above him. He located a valve and used his vacuum to spin it. Gradually, the water flow lessened, and the toilet above him stopped flooding.

“I did it!” Gooigi cheered, doing a little dance.

Luigi had to recall Gooigi to the Plexiglass tank in order to get him back to the surface.

“Okeydokey,” said Gooigi when Luigi let him back out of the tank. “I’ll check the ladies’ room, and you can check the men’s room.”

“Be careful,” said Luigi as Gooigi slipped through the pipe into the ladies’ room.

While Gooigi explored the ladies’ room, Luigi noticed a golden glow emanating from one of the stalls in the men’s room. It had to be the key—it just _had_ to! Using the Suction Shot, he ripped away the stall door and found the key dangling on the toilet seat.

Luigi removed the key and wiped it off before pocketing it. “Hey, Gooigi,” he called from the green pipe. “I found it!”

“Okay. Give me a minute,” Gooigi replied.

Shortly thereafter, Gooigi slid back into the men’s room. “I uncovered a gem for you,” he said, handing said gem to Luigi.

“Thanks,” said Luigi. “Now let’s take a look around the shops.”

Luigi washed his hands, just to make sure, before he and Gooigi headed back over to the entrance. Using the key, he unlocked the screen, and the revolving doors took him and Gooigi on a brief ride before depositing them in the shopping center.

This shopping center consisted of four shops, all of them barricaded by a gate. There was a jewelry shop, a clothing shop, a coffee shop, a hair salon and a gift shop, each shop denoted by a playing-card suit.

“Looks like _I’m_ gonna wind up doing most of the exploring,” said Gooigi.

“True,” said Luigi.

They heard a noise and quickly flattened themselves against a wall. And then they saw that they had company.

A large mall cop ghost patrolled the Hotel Shops, his nametag identifying him as Kruller. Kruller was clad in a navy blue security guard outfit, a flashlight in his hand and a key ring on his hip, two of a security guard’s essentials. Upon closer inspection, Luigi saw than an elevator button was attached to that key ring. Somehow, he—or Gooigi—had to get that elevator button from Kruller!

“Do you know who he reminds me of?” Luigi whispered to Gooigi. “Paul Blart.”

Gooigi giggled softly.

And indeed, Kruller acted similar to the eponymous protagonist of the late-2000s comedy film, floating down the hall with a confident attitude—until a crash made him cringe slightly. Then, he composed himself, adjusted the dark shades he was wearing and crept toward the source of the sound, behaving as if he were in a cop movie. The noise turned out to be a mouse rummaging around in the vending machine, much to Kruller’s relief. Wiping his brow, he phased through the door into his office, dropping a key with a diamond shape on it as he went.

“C’mon,” whispered Luigi. “We gotta get that key!”

They broke cover, walking up the still escalator to the shopping center’s second floor, and crept to Kruller’s office door, where the key levitated off the ground.

Luigi picked up the key and examined it. “Didn’t the jewelry shop have a diamond symbol on it?” he asked.

“It did,” responded Gooigi.

“Okay—then maybe this key unlocks something there,” mused Luigi.

“Maybe if I look through all of the shops, I can get you into Kruller’s office,” theorized Gooigi. “That star shape on his door gives us a major clue.”

“Yeah—that the key to unlock Kruller’s office has a star shape,” said Luigi. “Good thinking, Gooigi!”

“First, though, we need to explore the jewelry shop,” said Gooigi. “Or rather— _I_ need to explore the jewelry shop, since I’m the only one who can get inside.”

Luigi handed the key to Gooigi, and off they went to the jewelry shop, where Gooigi squeezed his way through the gate and took a look around.

“Hey! There’s a cash register here!” exclaimed Gooigi. “It has a diamond-shaped lock. I think I just figured out where to put this key!”

Luigi gave him a thumbs-up.

“Here I go,” said Gooigi, carefully sliding the key into the cash register’s lock and turning it.

The register’s drawer popped out, and from it emerged a key with a heart shape.

“That’s it!” laughed Luigi as he watched. “The cash registers contain the keys to the other shops!”

“And by exploring the shops, I can find the key to Kruller’s office,” said Gooigi. “Leave it to me, L!”

Suddenly, Luigi’s face paled. “Gooigi, watch out!” he exclaimed. “Behind you!”

Gooigi whirled, stunning the Goob attempting to sneak up on him. Once the Goob was in the suction, Gooigi began to slam them against the ground and into the display cases around him. The sound of shattering glass was mixed in with Gooigi’s emphatic grunts. Once he’d captured that Goob, two more Goobs appeared, one of them swiping the heart-shaped key. Gooigi turned his attention on _that_ Goob first before taking on the last Goob. In short order, all of the Goobs were defeated, and Gooigi palmed the heart-shaped key, along with a gem hiding behind one of the display cases.

Luigi high-fived Gooigi when the latter emerged from the jewelry shop. “Where to next?” he asked.

“The clothing shop,” said Gooigi, “since it has a heart symbol on it.”

“Let’s go,” said Luigi.

They hurried down the escalators and into the clothing store, where Gooigi squeezed inside and set about exploring, pulling down a mannequin to uncover a secret treasure room and vacuuming up all of the clothes on display. There was even a Goob hiding in the wardrobe room! After he was done exploring, Gooigi used the key to unlock the cash register, which spat out a spade-shaped key.

The register then fell over, revealing a green panel, and the key mysteriously floated off and phased through the wall.

Gooigi flashed the panel, causing the wall to lift up and reveal a small storage room of sorts, with gold coins piled up high.

“Whoa,” breathed Gooigi, beginning to vacuum the coins.

Halfway through, however, a miniature Goob popped out and chattered something. Several more miniature Goobs popped out, swarming Gooigi, tickling him and making him giggle. Despite this, Gooigi easily stunned and vacuumed them all, immobilizing groups of them with just one Strobulb flash.

“Mini Goobs,” muttered Luigi as Gooigi collected the spade-shaped key.

“Yeah,” said Gooigi. “They’re kind of cute if you ask me.”

Gooigi finished vacuuming up the coins and exited the clothing shop. “The gift shop has a spade shape,” he said, “so that’s our next stop.”

At the gift shop, Gooigi squeezed through the gate and took a look around. All of the merchandise had a grinning Boo face on it, but it didn’t really faze the gooey humanoid. Whistling a tune, he vacuumed everything up, only to pause when he saw some Spirit Balls flying into the cash register.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” muttered Gooigi as he shone the DLD on the cash register and drew the Spirit Balls back out. Then, he vacuumed up the Spirit Balls, inserted the key into the cash register and turned it.

The register’s drawer spat out, producing a key with a club shape on it. Just as Gooigi pocketed it, a Goob appeared, purloining a pair of shades from the glasses stand and trying them on.

“Oh, great—now they’re protected against the Strobulb flash,” cautioned Luigi. “You’ll have to vacuum up those shades before you even _think_ about trying to capture that Goob!”

“Okeydokey!” chirped Gooigi before turning his vacuum on full-blast and practically ripping the shades from the Goob’s face.

In response, the Goob wound up and punched Gooigi hard in the midsection, but the latter’s Jell-O-like body absorbed the worst of the impact. Also, Gooigi paid the Goob back big time when he stunned them and slammed them into counters, the cash register and the ground.

“Oh, my God!” Luigi exclaimed when Gooigi was finished. “Are you okay?”

“Super-duper,” replied Gooigi. “My health regenerates over time.”

“So—you have regenerating health, and you can’t die,” said Luigi.

“Yup. I’m the total package,” said Gooigi.

He spun back around as a small group of Mini Goobs appeared, along with another Goob wearing shades. Dodging about the shop, Gooigi captured the Mini Goobs first, and then he took care of the regular-sized Goob, taking two more punches in the process.

After the scuffle, Gooigi saw an open door to his right. “Hey—I can get into the coffee shop from here,” he told Luigi. “I’m gonna go check it out.”

As Luigi watched vigilantly, Gooigi snooped around the coffee shop, vacuuming items off the shelves in the kitchen area and tangling with a Gold Goob who popped out of the fridge. He flashed a green panel on the coffee machine with the Strobulb, causing it to spit out more coins. On his way out, he took a piece of cake out of the fridge and started to eat it.

“All that’s left is the hair salon,” said Luigi as Gooigi squeezed out of the grate. “How much do you wanna bet the star-shaped key is hidden in _their_ register?”

Gooigi responded by breaking off some of the cake he was eating and offering it to Luigi.

“Oh! Thanks,” said Luigi as he accepted the dessert. “Mmm—this is pretty good cake.”

With a small giggle, Gooigi took a dollop of frosting in his fingers and slipped it between Luigi’s lips before slowly smearing the rest all over his mouth. Then, he stood back and watched as Luigi licked the icing off his lips.

“Okay—thanks again,” said Luigi, blushing a little.

“No problem,” Gooigi said softly.

He finished the rest of the cake, and then he and Luigi set off toward the hair salon.

Just as they reached the escalators, they suddenly started moving, accompanied by a low, ominous chuckle. Exchanging a look, the two ghost-hunters stepped onto the “down” escalator and rode it to the first floor.

“Uh-oh—a steel door is blocking the hair salon!” exclaimed Gooigi. “How am I gonna get in?”

Luigi glanced up and saw two fans on either side of the hair salon. “Let’s blow on those and see what happens,” he suggested.

Blowing on the fans caused the scissors atop the salon to turn to the side, opening a passage for Gooigi to squeeze through.

“Good thinking!” laughed Gooigi before venturing into the hair salon.

First, he unearthed two Gold Goobs by making the two chairs swivel in sync. After defeating them, Gooigi noticed that the cash register was hidden, solving that problem with the DLD. He unlocked the register with the key, and lo and behold, there was the star-shaped key he and Luigi were looking for!

“I got it!” he cried, triumphantly holding up the key.

“Way to go!” cheered Luigi as Gooigi exited the hair salon. “Now, it’s time to pay Kruller a visit.”

Gooigi handed Luigi the key. Seconds later, the sprinkler system above them activated, drenching them both with water. Luigi emerged soaked but unscathed, but Gooigi melted in seconds.

“Who on Earth did that?” asked Luigi.

He moved away from the sprinkler and let Gooigi back out of his tank.

“I didn’t see that coming,” said Gooigi.

“Neither did I,” said Luigi. “C’mon, let’s get you out of harm’s way.”

They’d just stepped onto the “up” escalator when it abruptly ground to a halt—and then started rapidly moving backwards, dumping them both back onto the floor.

“Holy [bleep]!” gasped Gooigi. “Are you all right, Luigi?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Something’s up with these escalators, though…”

A pair of meaty red arms suddenly grasped the “up” escalator’s railing, and a large red ghost slowly pulled themselves up. This ghost had a hammer-shaped head and a wide mouth, and they reminded Luigi of the Slammers he’d encountered in Evershade Valley. This ghost looked brutish and would no doubt be hard to capture.

The ghost floated toward Luigi and Gooigi, attacking by trying to ram into them or pounding their large heads against the ground, producing a shock wave. Luigi wasted no time stunning the ghost, and as he predicted, he wound up facing more resistance from them, breaking free before their HP was even halfway depleted.

“I’d call you a Slammer, but the name’s taken,” said Luigi. “Mind if I call you a Hammer?”

The ghost gave a dismissive shrug in response.

“Hammer it is, then.”

“Look! This ghost has two tails!” cried Gooigi. “Mind if I help you out in this capture?”

“Not at all,” replied Luigi.

He stunned the Hammer as they barreled at him a second time, and then he and Gooigi each sucked a tail into their vacuums, slamming them against the floor in tandem. Thanks to the increased horsepower, the Hammer was quickly subdued.

“A two-tailed ghost,” mused Luigi. “Never seen that before.”

As he and Gooigi rode the escalator back up to the second floor, Gadd contacted him.

“That was quite an aggressive ghost!” the Professor exclaimed. “I’m surprised you were able to catch them!”

“Gooigi helped me out,” said Luigi.

“I knew he would,” said Gadd. “Listen, the ghost you just defeated will be a huge help to my research. Keep up the good work, okay?”

“Okay,” said Luigi, hanging up.

He walked over to Kruller’s office and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Kruller’s voice replied.

“Ready?” Luigi whispered to Gooigi.

“Ready,” Gooigi replied.

With that, Luigi turned the star-shaped key in the lock, eased open the door and cautiously stepped inside.

Kruller sat behind his desk, reading a magazine, which he quickly set down when he saw Luigi.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Kruller said in his most authoritative voice, “but the shops are currently closed. Come back tomorrow, and I’ll personally show you the best deals. You’re not supposed to be in here, anyway—this office is for employees only.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make this quick,” said Luigi. “I just need that elevator button attached to your key ring. My friends are in peril, and I gotta help them.”

Kruller’s eyes widened, and he held up his key ring. “ _This_ elevator button?” he asked.

“Yeah. That’s the one.”

Kruller paled. “Uh—I—well,” he spluttered. “They—told me that you’d come around and—they said not to give this button to you.”

“‘They’? As in Hellen Gravely and King Boo?”

Kruller nodded. “Look—total bummer about your friends, okay? I’m sure that they’re really good people. But the two who gave me this elevator button kinda freak me out, so it would be best not to disobey them, y’know?”

“If they coerced you into doing this, then I understand,” said Luigi. “I can keep you safe.”

“With that vacuum cleaner on your back?” Kruller made a face. “I’ll take my chances, thank you. Now, shoo. As a duly appointed night guard, you must respect my authority.”

Luigi and Gooigi exchanged a look.

“Well,” Luigi said finally, “if you don’t wanna cooperate and give me the elevator button—then I guess I’ll have to take it from you. Sorry.”

Kruller let out a yelp, diving behind his desk for cover. “You’ll never take me alive!” he shouted.

“Dude, chill,” Gooigi chimed in. “We really mean you no harm.”

“But if it’s between you and five people I really care about—then you really leave me no choice,” added Luigi.

Setting his face, Kruller slid on a pair of shades. “Very well,” he said. “C’mon, green buddy! Let’s throw it down!”

Kruller attempted a fancy combat roll, only to fail miserably, landing on his back.

“Wh—what are you doing?” Luigi asked with a slight frown.

“Uh—gimme a minute,” said Kruller as he rolled into another gated area and started rummaging through some boxes.

“Take your time,” said Luigi.

“Nope—don’t need that—don’t need that,” muttered Kruller as he tossed various junk aside. He pulled out a jack-in-the-box, which startled him when he activated it. Then, he pulled out a spiky pufferfish toy, which he dropped as if it was the most disgusting thing in the world. But then his mouth stretched into a grin as he found a squirt gun.

“Ha-ha! Perfect!” he cried, brandishing his new weapon. “Say hello to my little friend!”

“Sit tight, Luigi,” said Gooigi, steeling himself. “I’m gonna get that elevator button for you!”

“Watch out for that squirt gun!” cautioned Luigi as Gooigi brandished his Poltergust and charged into battle.

Like Steward before him, Kruller was an easy boss ghost—perhaps even easier. He attacked primarily with his squirt gun, but aside from that hazard, all Gooigi had to do was vacuum those shades from his adversary’s eyes, stun him with the Strobulb and then pounce with the vacuum! Boxes and other various items were jostled as Gooigi slammed the ghostly night guard all over the arena. Meanwhile, Luigi could safely watch the battle on the other side of the gate, cheering his gooey clone on, while Polterpup raced around in happy puppy circles.

And since Gooigi couldn’t permanently die, things were even easier for our heroes. Whenever the gooey ghost hunter was hit with a blast from Kruller’s squirt gun, he’d melt—only to reform in the Plexiglass tank of Luigi’s Poltergust. And then Luigi would re-summon him, and then he’d try again.

After one last hefty slam, Kruller’s HP was depleted. Gooigi braced himself as the mall security guard ghost was sucked into the Poltergust, with the elevator button shooting out of the nozzle seconds later.

“I didn’t even break a sweat,” laughed Gooigi. “It’s because I’m Goo, but still.”

He walked over to the elevator button and held it up for Luigi to see.

“Ha-ha! I did it!” cheered Luigi.

“Ha-ha! I did it!” parroted Gooigi, doing a little victory dance.

Luigi gave a little grimace in realization. “Oh, boy,” he murmured.

Gooigi squeezed his way out of the battle arena and gave Luigi the button. “Let’s get out of here,” he said.

On their way to the elevator, Gooigi and Luigi did some extra exploring, searching for gems. They found one in the vending machine, one in the rafters above the shopping center and one near the elevator bay, to name a few. Finally, they called the elevator and stepped inside, where the newest elevator button screwed itself into its proper place.

“The mezzanine,” murmured Luigi. “Wasn’t I just there?”

“Maybe there’s another part of the mezzanine we haven’t explored yet,” offered Gooigi. “Mezzanines usually have restaurants and stuff.”

“Yeah, they do, don’t they?” Luigi took a deep breath and pressed the button. “There will probably be more ghosts out and about, too. But I’m ready for them.”

“I know you are, Luigi,” said Gooigi. “I know you are.”


	18. Asereje (The Ketchup Song)

_That security guard wasn’t so bad. In fact, I find him more comical than scary, and I’m sure Luigi did, too._

_Yeah. He was kinda like a ghostly Paul Blart, but you didn’t hear that from me. Where are they going now?_

_The mezzanine, I think. A new area just opened up, and where there are new areas, there are new bosses holding those elevator buttons._

_And those bosses will be more intimidating the higher up he goes. Thank God he’s kept his skills sharp._

_C’mon, guys—you know him. No mountain or valley will keep him from getting to us._

_Amen._

_Hear, hear._

**…**

Polterpup became an energy canister once he, Gooigi and Luigi reached the mezzanine. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he bounded around the corner to a door blocked by a hazard sign. This door also had the image of a fork and spoon on it, which meant that it had to be some sort of diner or kitchen. No wonder Polterpup was excited.

After Polterpup phased through the door, Luigi used the Suction Shot to yank the sign out of his way before opening the door and stepping inside. And there was the ghost puppy, noshing on some cheese. Laughing softly, the man in green ran over to his pet and gave him a few back rubs.

“I’ll give you a few doggie treats later, okay?” he said.

“Arf!” Polterpup replied before leaping into the air and phasing through another door to what appeared to be a banquet hall.

“There must be something important in there,” Luigi said to Gooigi. “We’d better get a move on.”

They followed Polterpup inside the banquet hall, where they were assailed by the aromas of cheese, freshly baked bread and appetizers. These foods, along with a selection of meats, seafood and dessert, were arranged on a long table. Near that long table were several small tables, where a handful of Goobs were seated.

After picking up a breadstick, Polterpup happily trotted toward the kitchen. Turning off their flashlights, Luigi and Gooigi flattened themselves against the long table, attempting to sneak past the Goobs. Unfortunately, Luigi accidentally knocked over a bottle of olive oil, which shattered into pieces on the floor.

The man in green spat out a curse as the Goobs whirled around, arming themselves with breadsticks and cream puffs. One Goob let out a whistle, summoning more Goobs. Quickly, they surrounded Luigi and Gooigi.

“Well, here goes,” said Luigi, charging up his Strobulb. Gooigi followed suit.

Together, they released the flash, stunning some nearby Goobs. Then, the duo began vacuuming them up, slamming them into other Goobs and several tables. They fought valiantly, but these Goobs were getting smarter, continuing to surround them in a pincer move. Before they could be overrun, however, Luigi remembered that burst of air, and he began utilizing it for some crowd control. Gooigi did so, as well, and it wasn’t long before they gained the upper hand over the Goobs.

After subduing the last one, Luigi briefly leaned against the long table, gasping for breath. There was sugar and cream filling on his face from the desserts the Goobs had weaponized, as well as several more bruises from the punches they’d thrown at him, but there were no serious injuries. As he regained his wind, he began licking the remnants of cream puff off his face.

“Why did they have to waste such expensive dessert?” he asked.

“I know, right?” chuckled Gooigi as he, too, licked away the dessert. “Are you…?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just bruised up a bit.” Luigi brushed the sugar out of his hair and smiled at his clone.

With his thumb, Gooigi wiped the last bit of cream filling from Luigi’s cheek and popped it into his mouth. “You sure?” he asked softly.

“I’m sure.”

His nose then caught the stench of burning food, and he turned to see black smoke pouring from the kitchen. He also heard a baritone voice singing from within.

“That’s one irresponsible chef,” opined Gooigi.

“Let’s get in there before he burns down the d—n place,” added Luigi.

They pushed through the double doors into the kitchen, where the smoke threatened to obscure their vision. Luigi turned his vacuum on the stove, where the smoke was at its thickest, and began to vacuum it up. Gooigi moved to the other side of the kitchen and joined in. Gradually, the smoke cleared away to reveal a ghostly chef with a moustache, sporting a white smock and hat with the name “Soulffle” scrawled across the brim.

Soulffle continued singing to himself as he grilled some fish on a pan. He held the pan toward his nose to take a sniff of his handy work before resuming his cooking. Then, he seemed to realize that he was no longer alone and raised his head to meet Luigi and Gooigi’s gazes.

“I’m sorry, sir,” said Soulffle, with a slight French accent, “but there are no guests allowed in the kitchen. Feel free to seat yourself at a table outside, and I’m sure that a waiter will be with you shortly.”

“I could smell something burning in here,” Luigi explained, “and I saw the smoke outside. I figured I could help.”

Soulffle frowned. “There was a fire?”

“No, I think some food was burning. Just—just be mindful of your grill, okay?”

“What is this, cooking school?” Soulffle’s left eye started to twitch. “Are you insulting my cooking talents?”

“I’m not insulting your cooking talents—I’m just telling you to keep an eye on your grill and your stove, because you were very close to starting a grease fire. If I hadn’t shown up, then you would’ve burned down the hotel.”

Soulffle chucked the still-cooking fish at Luigi, who reflexively caught it in his vacuum’s nozzle and sent it off-course. “Who are you to tell me how to run my kitchen?!” the chef ghost barked. “Are _you_ a chef?!”

“Look, buddy—I don’t want any trouble, all right?” said Luigi, raising his vacuum and retreating two paces.

Soulffle just laughed and brandished a frying pan. “I’ll show you how I run things around here!” he crowed. “Let’s hope you can stand the heat, little green man!”

He lunged at Luigi, swinging his frying pan, but the man in green dove out of the way.

“We gotta knock that frying pan away!” he shouted to Gooigi. “Otherwise, we can’t nail him with the Strobulb!”

“There’s lots of pumpkins and watermelons in here!” Gooigi shouted back, the two of them now dodging Soulffle’s fish and frying pan strikes. “We can try throwing that at him!”

“Good eye, Gooigi!” As he spoke, Luigi suctioned the first piece of fruit he saw, lined up his shot, and fired it at Soulffle. As Gooigi predicted, the impact jarred the frying pan out of the ghost’s hand.

“Let’s get cooking!” Luigi cried as he stunned Soulffle, slamming the ghostly chef all over his beloved kitchen.

Soulffle broke free, glaring at Luigi. “Is that all you’ve got?” he asked.

“Oh, don’t worry—there’s more,” said Luigi, brandishing the Poltergust.

The large chef ghost snatched up his frying pan and went back on the attack, trying to bludgeon both Luigi and Gooigi. And again, the duo dodged about the kitchen, looking for a watermelon or a pumpkin to launch at their opponent, which would give them an opening. Luigi wound up taking hits from the frying pan, and those hits made his ears ring, but he was never down for long. And Gooigi was always there to pick up the slack.

“I’ve got this one, L!” Gooigi sang out, sending a pumpkin into Soulffle’s frying pan and knocking it away. In the next second, his flesh-and-blood counterpart had the ghostly chef back in the suction, slamming him into the sink, countertop, refrigerator, deep freeze and stove.

“You’ve just moved from the frying pan into the fire!” roared Soulffle when he broke free.

Luigi flicked some sweat from his forehead. “Thanks for the warning,” he said.

So, it went on like this for a few minutes. Evading the frying pan, launching the fruit and stunning Soulffle. It took three more tries for Luigi to finally get the ghostly chef into the Poltergust. By then, his midsection throbbed and his sides ached—but it was totally worth it.

Several fish sputtered out of the Poltergust’s nozzle upon Soulffle’s capture, followed by another elevator button. Breathing hard, Luigi leaned against the sink, laughing quietly.

“I did it,” he panted. “I did it.”

Polterpup arrived on the scene, saw his master with an arm wrapped around his middle and one hand braced on the sink, and automatically assumed the worst. Barking wildly, he rushed over, stood on his hind legs and placed his front paws on Luigi’s knee, staring hugely at him.

“It’s not that bad, puppy,” said Luigi, but Polterpup wasn’t convinced, and neither was Gooigi.

“J—s!” cried the gooey ghost hunter. “I’m gonna get you some ice!”

Gently, Polterpup nuzzled his master’s abdomen, stopping instantly when he heard him hiss slightly in pain. Polterpup saw Luigi’s eyes clouding over and his brow wrinkling, and a whimper escaped the ghost dog.

“I—I’m fine. Really,” Luigi said, but his voice was a bit strained.

Polterpup looked over and saw the frying pan, laying there on the floor. And it was a huge frying pan, too. With a growl, the puppy pounced on Soulffle’s dropped weapon, trying to maul it. But the cookware was sterling steel, and Polterpup’s canines hadn’t fully developed.

“Hey—the guy responsible is in here,” Luigi said softly, tapping the side of the Poltergust. But that little fact didn’t make things any better in Polterpup’s eyes.

Meanwhile, Gooigi used his own Poltergust to place some ice chunks on a rag. Then, he wrapped up the rag and carried it over to Luigi.

Luigi huffed. “Seriously?”

However, he sat on a table next to the sink, unbuttoned his overalls and lifted his shirt. Polterpup started a new round of frenzied barking when he saw the deep purple and deep blue swirls on his master’s torso.

“Okay, Luigi,” Gooigi said comfortingly. “Okay.” He pressed the makeshift cold compress onto the injured areas.

“Just don’t touch the ice,” murmured Luigi.

“It’s just open water I’m vulnerable to,” said Gooigi. “Open water and open flame.”

The ice did its work, dulling the pain. But Luigi bit his lip and stared into space, the anxiety swirling like an approaching storm. He wanted to resume his trek through this haunted hotel more than anything.

“Luigi?” Gooigi spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“We’ll get them back,” said Gooigi, staring into Luigi’s eyes. “I promise.”

_He has the loveliest blue eyes_ , thought the gooey humanoid.

“Okay,” Luigi said quietly.

Finally, Gooigi pulled away the ice pack, and Luigi pulled down his shirt and rebuttoned his coveralls. Just as he reached for the elevator button, however, a mouse ran over, took the button in its jaws, swallowed it whole and scurried off!

“Hey!” shouted Luigi, chasing the mouse into the banquet hall.

The mouse dove into a nearby mouse hole, but luckily, there was a platter of cheese on the table. Using a slice, Luigi lured the mouse out of the hole, and as it was chowing down on its favorite food, he sneaked up on it and stunned it into submission, recovering the button.

“Okay,” said Luigi, picking up the button. “Now to…”

He was cut off as another mouse grabbed the button and ate it.

“You gotta be s—ing me,” he said as he took off after the fleeing mouse.

He, Gooigi and Polterpup followed the mouse into a billiards room, where they saw it squeeze between some shelves.

Just as Luigi tiptoed toward the mouse’s hiding place, a cue ball sailed past his head, followed by another. He spun around and found himself face-to-face with some slim, gold-colored ghosts. And they did _not_ look happy.

“Oh, boy,” said Luigi.

The ghosts began tossing cue balls at Luigi, some of which connected with his still-aching midsection. Finally, he stunned one of the ghosts and began slamming them against the pool table, sending the remaining cue balls into the various holes. Once the ghost was captured, the other ghost was nowhere to be found—until they popped out of hiding to launch more cue balls at him!

“They remind me of those Hiders,” he mused when he’d defeated all of the ghosts, “and they look alike. Maybe I’ll call them—Oozers.”

Using his Suction Shot, Luigi uncovered the mouse’s hiding place, chasing it into one of the bathrooms. He didn’t see a mouse hole, so he guessed that the mouse was hiding in one of the stalls. Again, he used the Suction Shot to rip away the stall doors. And when he ripped away the stall doors, he was greeted with a pile of mice on the toilet.

He almost puked on the spot.

The mice leaped off the toilet and surrounded Luigi, who regained his composure and easily vacuumed up all of them. When he was finished, the elevator button popped out of the nozzle.

“Yeah!” he cheered. “Got it!”

He took out a handkerchief and wiped off the button before picking it up and pocketing it. “Moving on,” he said as he exited the bathroom.

Before leaving the dining area, Gooigi, Luigi and Polterpup searched it for valuable treasure and gems. Then, they headed back to the elevator, where the new button fitted itself into place.

“Luigi, you’re doing a great job!” said Gadd. “Why don’t you make your way back to the Lab? There’s something I need to tell you.”

Luigi sighed. “Okay,” he said.

“See you soon!” Gadd said cheerfully.

“See ya,” said Luigi as he smacked the B1 button.

_This had better be quick…_


	19. Every Breath You Take

_Ugh. What does the Professor want_ now _?_

_Beats me. But every second he sits there talking to Luigi about his inventions, research and whatnot is a second lost!_

_The guy needs to get his priorities straight, and pronto._

_Amen._

_Hey—if not for him, then Luigi wouldn’t have learned how to catch ghosts in the first place, so show him a little respect, all right?_

_Fine. But he doesn’t seem_ too _concerned about us right now._

_Don’t push it. I think he just needs time to comprehend what’s going on._

_Whatever you say, Mario…_

**…**

“Finally, you’re back!” said Gadd when Luigi walked in, trailed by Gooigi and Polterpup. “You shouldn’t keep an old man waiting, you know.” However, he was smiling warmly.

“Hey, Professor,” said Luigi. “What’s this about?”

“I’ve been busy down here,” said Gadd. “The lab is almost fully operational. And by the way—you must be getting pretty good at exploring the hotel! Have you been sucking up stuff with the Poltergust G-00?”

“Indeed,” replied Luigi.

“And you’ve been collecting some gold and dollar bills, correct?”

“I have.”

“Well—waste not, I say! I’m proud to announce that my Shopping Network is now open for business!”

Gadd directed Luigi’s attention to an area of the lab with a shopping cart icon on it.

“You have a shop inside of a lab?” asked Gooigi.

Gadd nodded. “I’ve stocked some rather useful items, along with a few snacks, and they’re all yours—for a modest fee. To celebrate the Shop’s grand opening, I’m offering you a free Gold Bone.”

At the mention of his favorite treat, Polterpup woofed happily.

“I’ll take it,” said Luigi.

Gadd handed Luigi the Gold Bone, who in turn gave it to Polterpup, who gnawed on it happily.

“I also have another matter to address while you’re in here,” said Gadd.

“What’s that?” asked Luigi as he gave Polterpup some belly rubs.

“Could you turn around for a moment? I need to adjust the Poltergust. And Gooigi—I’ll need you to hop into your tank for a sec.”

Both ghost hunters obliged, Luigi whistling softly as Gadd fiddled around with his ghost vacuum.

“Okay, I’m done!” Gadd said brightly. “I just added a new feature!”

“What is it?” asked Luigi.

“My research indicates that Boos are hiding out in this hotel,” explained Gadd. “I just added a feature to help you track them down.”

Luigi’s blood chilled at the mention of those sadistic little bedsheet ghosts. “How come they haven’t attacked me yet?” he asked.

“It’s probably a Boo thing,” shrugged Gadd. 

"How does this feature work?”

“I’ll explain later,” said Gadd. “Now get back out there and keep exploring the hotel!”

“You’ve been very helpful,” said Luigi before turning on his heel and exiting the lab.

When he emerged into the basement hallway, he felt a vibrating sensation at his back. Almost as if Gooigi was giving him a little massage…

“What are you doing, Gooigi?” he asked.

The VB chime went off.

“Yello?”

“It looks like you’ve stumbled across a Boo already,” said Gadd.

“How do you know that?”

“Gooigi’s body is made of Goo, remember? And Goo strongly reacts to the frequency emitted by Boos. So, if there’s a Boo hiding nearby—the Goo will vibrate to indicate this!”

“Huh. That makes sense,” said Luigi.

“The closer you get to a Boo’s location, the stronger Gooigi will vibrate,” said Gadd.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” said Luigi. “Bye-bye.”

He hung up and patted the Plexiglass tank. “Okay, Gooigi,” he said. “Show me the way home.”

First, he walked toward the elevator bay, causing the vibration to lessen. Then, he walked toward the laundry room, where the vibration intensified. When he entered the laundry room, Gooigi started vibrating in urgent, hard pulses. Luigi found it strangely comforting—seeing that there was a Boo lurking in wait around here.

Luigi searched the laundry room top to bottom, first inspecting the washers, and then the dryers, and then the shelves and towel carts. But when he reached a cabinet, Gooigi started vibrating so intensely that the whole apparatus shook slightly. This _had_ to be the Boo’s hiding place!

He threw open the cabinet doors and jumped about a mile into the air as a Boo lunged right at his face, licking out their tongue.

“Hey, handsome—I’m Boosement,” they said. “Looks like you found me— _or did you_?”

Boosement licked Luigi’s face and then disappeared, but the man in green remembered that the Dark Light Device was a potent weapon against Boos. Breath quickening, he shone the multicolored beam all over the laundry room until Boosement rematerialized, dazed. Without a second thought, Luigi seized Boosement’s tongue in the vacuum’s suction before slamming the Boo in increasingly rapid succession all over the basement floor.

When their HP was halfway depleted, Boosement broke free, cackling, and began to play a twisted game of hide-and-seek with Luigi, spinning into him from behind, licking the nape of his neck or cackling in his ear. Which made it all the more cathartic when the man in green caught Boosement off-guard once again with the DLD and relentlessly slammed them into the first hard surface that caught his eye.

After one last slam, the two struggled for a few seconds before Boosement was sucked into the Poltergust. Slowly, Luigi exhaled.

“Sorry, guys,” he said. “I gotta catch as many Boos as possible before continuing my search.”

_That's perfectly understandable, Luigi._

After putting on his music, Luigi headed to the hotel lobby. And right off the bat, Gooigi started vibrating. The vibration seemed strongest at a nearby wastebasket—which opened to reveal a Boo!

“Yoo-hoo! I’m GumBoo! Haven’t we met before?” asked the Boo.

What followed was another harrowing game of hide-and-seek, where GumBoo utilized the wide-open space to psyche out and unnerve Luigi. Thank God for the DLD—Luigi used it to turn the tables on GumBoo and slam them into furniture and the floor, just like he’d done to Boosement. It took two tries before the second Boo was successfully captured.

“There’s probably a third Boo on the mezzanine,” Luigi mused to himself. “I’d better head over there.”

He walked into the mezzanine’s dining area, where Gooigi’s vibrating led him into the billiards room. The vibration increased until he reached another waste bin, and Luigi opened it to reveal the third Boo.

“I’m Booigi, number one!” cackled the Boo. “‘Oh, Mario, help me! I’m scared!’ See—I just did a spot-on impression of you!”

Luigi just set his jaw and stunned Booigi with the DLD. Then, he slammed the Boo against the billiards table again and again and again until they were subdued.

“Why do these Boos insist on mocking my situation?” he asked. “Okay, gotta head back to the Hotel Shops.”

He took the elevator to the third floor, where Gooigi gently vibrated the minute he stepped off.

“Is the Boo in the shopping center—or in the bathrooms?” he asked.

As if in reply, Gooigi’s vibrations intensified when Luigi headed toward the restrooms. He entered the men’s room before summoning Gooigi from the tank.

“I’ll search the men’s room, and you can search the ladies’ room,” said Luigi.

“I’m on it,” said Gooigi, his entire body jiggling, before slipping through the pipe into the ladies’ room.

Luigi listened through the wall as Gooigi located the next Boo.

“I’m Kung Boo! You won’t catch me—I flow like water!”

Gooigi captured Kung Boo the same way Luigi captured the previous Boos—by grabbing their tongue and slamming them into the floor. After the Boo was defeated, Gooigi rejoined his companion in the men’s room before hopping back into his tank.

“All right—time to find the Boo on the fifth floor,” murmured Luigi, walking back to the elevator.

When he arrived on the fifth floor, he wound up fighting several Goobs while searching for a Boo. Luckily for him, most of them just gave him a good tickle with their feather dusters before letting him go unharmed. However, he was still breathless with laughter when Gooigi started vibrating at his back.

With Gooigi’s help, Luigi tracked the Boo down to Chad’s room, where they were hiding in a drawer.

“I’m Boolldog! I’m off the chain!” exclaimed the Boo.

“And I’m taking you to the pound,” said Luigi, shining the DLD on Boolldog and setting to work capturing them.

He sat on the bed when he was finished, Polterpup jumping into his lap to make sure he was okay.

Luigi hugged him close. “I played right into their hands again,” he murmured. “I got my friends into this, but I swear to God, I’m gonna get them out.”

Polterpup licked his cheek comfortingly.

“Well,” said Luigi, kissing the top of his ghost puppy’s head, “I guess it’s time to head to the fourth floor.”

He stood and let Gooigi out of his tank, and they all headed back to the elevator, tangling with more Goobs along the way.

Inside the elevator, Gooigi and Luigi studied the 4th floor’s floor plan on the LED display.

“Great Stage,” murmured Luigi. “I wonder what’s so great about it.”

There was only one way to find out. Luigi pressed the button to the fourth floor and took several deep breaths as the elevator descended. 


	20. Music of the Night

_There he goes again—blaming himself for what happened to us. When is he gonna realize that none of this is his fault?_

_That’s just how he is—always wanting to protect us. He’s always wanted to protect me since we could crawl._

_Hey, guys! He’s approaching the fourth floor now! That’s where I’m at!_

_Really?_

_Yeah! King Boo decided to—uh—_ gift _me to this pianist ghost, and now I’m being displayed in the performance hall. I’ve been listening to the pianist perform for hours._

_Well, you don’t have to listen to classical music for much longer, Thad._

_Yeah—thank God! Sweet freedom is just around the corner!_

**…**

Piano music greeted Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup as they arrived at the Great Stage. At once, the former started thinking about Melody, as well as the Library Poltergeist. In every ghostly adventure he’d been on so far, there was always something piano-related. What was up with that?

Gooigi’s body softly vibrated to the music. “This is so—relaxing,” he opined.

“Yeah,” said Luigi. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it?”

“It’s coming from—that direction,” said Gooigi, pointing to his right.

“Of course—this floor has a concert-hall theme,” said Luigi.

Polterpup barked urgently.

“What is it, doggie? Do you think something important is in there?”

Polterpup barked again.

Luigi’s eyes widened. “Some _one_?” he asked. “One—one of my friends?”

With another woof, Polterpup took off toward the performance hall.

Luigi and Gooigi were about to follow him when the VB rang.

“Yello?”

“Hey, Luigi,” said Gadd, “if you need to return to the Lab quickly, then I have just the solution. I’ve streamlined an instant transfer system for you. Just press the yellow button on the VB, and we’ll be face-to-face in an instant!”

“It beats having to walk to the elevator all the time,” said Luigi, “though I kinda like riding the elevator…”

“The system works both ways, as well,” said Gadd.

“Thanks, Professor,” said Luigi. “I gotta go now. Bye.”

He hung up, turned to Gooigi and nodded to him. Then, the duo strode down the hallway together.

At the end of the hallway, they encountered a Goob dressed as an usher, making “waves” with the red carpet. Gooigi and Luigi used that burst of air, which the latter decided to simply name Burst, to vault over each wave and close the distance between them and the Goob. Then, they easily captured the Goob and proceeded into the auditorium.

And sure enough, there was Thad, hanging on the wall next to the piano, which was seemingly playing by itself.

“Thad!” shouted Luigi, hurrying towards the stage and bounding up the stairs onto it.

_Hey, Luigi. Fancy seeing you here._

“How long has he kept you here?”

_Er—long enough. I’m getting a little tired of listening to piano music._

Luigi gave a relieved giggle. “I can fix that,” he said.

_Oh, Lord. Here comes trouble._

Luigi glanced back toward the piano, where a lavender ghost with silver hair materialized, attired in a lavender suit, white shirt and dark purple bow tie. His long fingers moved gently over the keys as he continued to play. Suddenly, he paused, the last note lingering, as he spotted Luigi.

“Oh! Hello,” said the ghost, with a slight Austrian accent.

“Hi,” Luigi nervously replied. “Listen, I don’t mean to bother you, but…”

“No, no, no. You’re not bothering me at all,” the ghost said genially. “I enjoy having people listening to my music.” He smiled. “Amadeus Wolfgeist, at your service. And you are…?”

“Luigi. I’m Luigi.”

“Luigi, huh? I was told to look out for an individual by that name, wearing that device on their back.”

“I don’t want any trouble, Mr. Wolfgeist…”

“Amadeus is fine.”

“Okeydokey, Amadeus. I’m just gonna get my friend over there, and then I’ll leave you to your devices.”

Wolfgeist glanced toward Thad. “Is that your friend?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then we have a serious problem,” said Wolfgeist. “He, as it turns out, is a present from a mutual friend.”

“King Boo?”

“ _Ja_. He told me that I’m to hold on to my new present at all costs, and not to let him fall into your hands.” Wolfgeist spread his hands. “I am truly sorry, Luigi, but I must follow his instructions to the letter. There’s no telling what he and his girlfriend might to do me otherwise.”

“They coerced you into this.”

“Well—you can say that.”

“That wasn’t a question. I know they coerced you into helping them. You don’t have a good poker face.”

“Okay—they _may_ have dug up some dirt on me, but the truth of the matter is—they scare me—especially King Boo. He is someone so evil that Hell itself probably spat him back out.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” shuddered Luigi. “Listen to me, though. My Poltergust is his worst fear, just like he’s mine. I can protect you from him. Just—just let me have Thad, okay?”

Wolfgeist bit his lip. “Do you play?” he asked.

“What?”

“Do you play piano?”

“Yes, I do. I took some lessons when I was a kid.”

“Well, then,” said Wolfgeist, scooting over. “Let’s see it.”

Tightening his grip on his vacuum, Luigi advanced toward the piano.

“I’ll watch your back,” whispered Gooigi.

“Thanks,” Luigi whispered back.

“This isn’t a trick or a trap, I assure you,” said Wolfgeist.

The man in green sat next to Wolfgeist on the piano bench, took a deep breath, stretched his fingers over the keys and closed his eyes.

And then he began to play.

He played that singular composition he’d dreamed up eighteen years ago after the battle with Melody. Spilling all of the doubt and dread and worry out of his mind and onto the ebony and ivory keys. Tears squeezed out of his closed eyelids as the melody darkened, the intensity cresting like a tidal wave as those persistent questions swirled around in his head.

“Just let it go,” Wolfgeist softly encouraged, his eyes also closed. “Just let it go…”

And Luigi obliged, letting the melody grow stormier and stormier as he contemplated his current situation. _Instead of one life, five lives are on the line. Five lives in the hands of someone who could care less about them. Five lives—and they only have one lifeline. Me._ His brows were knit, the back of his throat ached and the tears just kept coming. _I was supposed to protect them. Why didn’t I keep a better eye on that psycho? Why didn’t I tell them my suspicions earlier?_ Now _look what’s happened. I’ve won over him twice before, but can I deliver again? Can I? Can I?_ Can I?!?!

_Oh, yes, I can. And I will. I_ have _to_.

His facial muscles relaxed, and he allowed a smile to scatter the storm on his visage as the melody lightened. The questioning and doubting were firmly expelled from his mind, replaced by hope and self-confidence. The third time was the charm, wasn’t it? Wasn’t there a rule of threes? A third defeat was likely to convince the King to back off. And the fact that they all had faith in him from the get-go—that was hope enough.

He played on until his fingers ached. And as the final note echoed through the concert hall, Luigi opened his eyes and let out a breath. Wolfgeist, however, was awestruck.

“Wow,” he said. “That was amazing! How did…?”

“I just thought it up,” said Luigi, rising from the bench.

“You should make a career out of this,” said Wolfgeist.

Luigi shrugged. “I didn’t have the heart to go for it,” he said.

“It seems to me—that you needed the opportunity,” said Wolfgeist. “There’s a lot on your mind, if I’m not mistaken.”

“True,” said Luigi.

Wolfgeist smiled in approval. “You’ve shown me that I don’t need to go easy on you,” he said. “I hope you’ve saved some of that energy, Luigi. Because I’m not giving up your friend without a proper fight.”

Wolfgeist rolled up his sleeves and began to play a frenetic tune on the piano. Gooigi and Polterpup hastened Luigi off the stage, just as the steps retracted inward.

_You can beat him, Luigi. I believe in you!_

In synch with Wolfgeist’s piano playing, the auditorium’s seats began levitating off the ground and hurtling themselves at Luigi. For at least two minutes, he had to dodge chairs crashing around him, with Gooigi or Polterpup occasionally pushing him out of harm’s way. Gradually, the music’s tempo increased, which caused the seats to arc toward him faster and faster, making them harder to evade. And for the grand finale, the last of the chairs were launched at him all at once. Luigi wound up sagged against a wall, out of breath and moderately bruised.

“Oh, my goodness!” shouted Gooigi, racing over.

Luigi stopped him with a gesture. “I’m not dead yet,” he said.

Wolfgeist smirked as he looked Luigi over. “Impressive,” he said. “Let’s see if you can survive Act 2.”

He played a slightly peppier tune, this time in a major key. And as he played, two tutu-clad Goobs pirouetted onto the stage, masks over their eyes. Luigi readied his vacuum as the Goobs ballet-danced toward him, and then he set to work vacuuming the masks off his opponents. Once he’d accomplished that, he stunned one of them and wrestled them into the suction before slamming them into the other Goob. At this, the piano music took on a more frantic pace, reverting to the previous tune whenever the Goob broke free.

Three more Goobs wearing tutus and masks appeared, and Gooigi battled them as Luigi finished battling the other two Goobs. Once those two were in the Poltergust, Luigi rushed over to help his gooey buddy, clearing out all of the ghosts together. Both wound up taking a few punches, but they were still standing once the skirmish reached its end.

Wolfgeist was beside himself. “Impossible!” he exclaimed. “I just sent out the best of the best at you!”

Luigi wiped his brow and leveled the Poltergust at the ghostly pianist. “I’m done asking nicely,” he said. “Hand over my friend, and I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Oh, we aren’t done yet, Luigi!” thundered Wolfgeist, leaping off the bench. “We’re just approaching the final act! Let’s see you weasel your way out of _this_!”

Wolfgeist’s immaculate silver hair became wild as he slammed down on the piano keys, forcefully enough to make the piano itself open. The ghostly pianist then flew into his instrument, which came to life with two glowing “eyes” and the keys resembling teeth, leaping forward with a discordant key pound.

The piano jumped off the stage, attempting to smash onto Luigi, who leaped aside just in time. Over and over, the piano pounced after him, trying to flatten him. Once, it slammed down so hard that it produced a shock wave, which Luigi had to Burst over. Wolfgeist popped out of the piano long enough to glare at his opponent, and then the instrument hopped back onto the stage before spitting out a few bombs.

Luigi turned to Gooigi. “Quick! Try to grab one of those bombs!” he cried. “I have a plan!”

The duo managed to snag a bomb each, avoiding those that were flashing red. They aimed at the inside of the piano cover before firing them, causing the bombs to bounce off of the cover and into the piano. The bombs detonated, knocking the piano onto its side, and then the two took aim with their Suction Shots, each launching a plunger onto the piano’s base.

With a deep grunt, Luigi and Gooigi heaved the piano off the stage and slammed it onto the floor, driving Wolfgeist out. Swearing in German, Wolfgeist attacked the duo with his long arms, but they were simply too fast for him. Luigi was the first to stun the ghostly pianist, Gooigi watching him vacuum away a good portion of Wolfgeist’s HP before harshly slamming him against the floor, grunting emphatically with each slam.

“You can’t beat me!” Wolfgeist boasted when he broke free. “I’m a master pianist!”

He jumped back into his piano, which began firing keys at the two ghost-wranglers. About half of the keys cut Luigi, but he hardly felt the pain. All he was worried about was trying to memorize Wolfgeist’s attack pattern and watching out for those bombs, so he could launch them back into the piano.

After firing another round of keys, the piano tried to pounce on Luigi a few times before retreating to the stage, this time firing a mix of bombs and flaming musical notes. He did his best to shield Gooigi against the open flame while the two carefully selected one bomb each to fire into the piano. Then, they heaved the instrument to the floor a second time, forcing Wolfgeist back out.

_Yeah! You’re doing it!_

“Just a minute, Thad,” gasped Luigi as he slid under Wolfgeist’s long arms before stunning and slamming him once again.

_Take your time. It’s not like I’m going anywhere._

Wolfgeist wore a puzzled look as he escaped the suction. “All of this for a mushroom-head in a portrait,” he said in disbelief.

Luigi tightened his vacuum’s shoulder straps. “He doesn’t belong in a portrait,” he said, “and his name—is Thad.”

Wolfgeist was genuinely confused. He couldn’t understand why this man was fighting so fiercely for a little guy with a red-spotted mushroom cap. But his orders were to defeat Luigi, so that was what he had to do.

“I didn’t want to fight you,” huffed Wolfgeist. “You should’ve left when you had the chance.”

“I have no choice!” Luigi said vehemently.

“Yes, well—neither do I.” On those words, Wolfgeist went back inside his piano and repeated his attack pattern.

After several volleys of piano keys, the pianist ghost tried for the final time to stomp Luigi into the floor, nearly succeeding a few times. Following a shockwave-producing stomp, he sent out bombs with shorter fuses Luigi’s way. After being knocked around by a few detonating bombs, Luigi and Gooigi _still_ managed to launch a bomb back at their foe before firing a Suction Shot at the piano, this time destroying it for good.

With his piano out of commission, Wolfgeist was more infuriated than ever. He sent out those flaming musical notes which knocked Luigi backwards and melted Gooigi at the slightest contact. Eventually, Luigi settled for keeping Gooigi in his Plexiglass tank until the last portion of this battle was over.

And finally—finally—with Thad’s face burned into his mind—Luigi did it. He stunned Wolfgeist one last time, slamming him into the floor over and over with all of his strength.

“This—is what—you get—for messing—around with—Toads!”

Amadeus Wolfgeist seemed to know that he was beat. As the suction began to draw him into the Poltergust, the ghostly pianist took one last deep bow.

“Thank you—and farewell!” cried Wolfgeist before he was finally sucked inside.

The nozzle shuddered, and another elevator button ejected itself from the vacuum. Luigi stood there, gasping deeply, before leaning down and picking up the button.

“Bravo!” he cried.

Polterpup trotted over to the stage and kicked the stairs back up before bounding over to Thad’s portrait. Quickly, Luigi joined him, flashing his DLD at the imprisoned Toad.

Thad tumbled out of the portrait and into Luigi’s arms, looking shaken and disoriented. For a second, he forgot where he was and how he got there. But then, he gazed into Luigi’s face, and that made everything better.

“I knew it!” he said brightly, hugging his rescuer. “I f—ing knew it! I kept telling them you’d come through!”

Luigi hugged him back. “Thank God you’re okay,” he said.

Thad laughed. “Oh, Luigi—I’m definitely giving this place one star,” he said.

“So am I,” said Luigi, “but right now, I need to get you to a place where you can wait things out.”

Thad frowned. “Maybe I can help,” he said.

“I don’t know, Thad. It’s only gonna get more perilous from here, and I can’t risk you getting hurt.”

“But…”

Thad was interrupted when Gadd’s voice crackled over the VB. “Thad? Is that you?”

“Hi, Professor!” chirped Thad.

“It appears that Luigi found you,” said Gadd.

“Well, duh,” said Thad. “Wha—where are you?”

“In my portable Lab on the basement floor,” replied the Professor. “It’d probably be best if you waited out the storm here with me.”

“That’s—perfect!” Luigi chimed in. “I’ll bring him down there.”

“All righty. See you two soon,” Gadd said before hanging up.

“Before that,” said Thad. “I’ve gotta—you know…”

“Of course,” said Luigi. “The restrooms are out the door, and the men’s room is to your left.”

“Okay!” Thad chirped as he raced out of the auditorium, Luigi and Gooigi following close behind.

“Guess I’d better answer the call of nature, too,” murmured Luigi as he walked into the men’s room alongside Thad.

**…**

“Brad, Chad and I were in my room, having fun and playing a drinking game,” said Thad as he and Luigi tended to their business. “Then, we realized that it was getting dark and creepy and gloomy, and the lamps weren’t working. The flashlights on our phones worked somewhat, but then—Hellen showed up without so much as a by-your-leave. She was acting _really_ strange, even sliding into the bed with us. And then she told us that there was someone she wanted us to meet—and—there he was. We tried fighting those two off with golf clubs, but King Boo managed to immobilize us. I’m not gonna tell you what Hellen did before they sealed us in those paintings, because you don’t need those images in your head.”

“That’s just what Mario said,” said Luigi as he zipped himself back up and flushed the toilet.

“He’s a very wise man,” said Thad. “I don’t wanna alarm you, but there’s a door shaped like a Boo next to my stall.”

“I saw it when I came in,” Luigi told him, washing his hands.

Thad finished his own business, flushed and emerged from the stall. “I think that door opens to a secret room,” he said as he stood on his tiptoes, trying to reach the sink.

“I’ll take a look around later,” said Luigi. “Here—let me.”

He knelt down and boosted Thad up on his knee, allowing him to wash his hands.

“Thanks,” Thad said softly. “FYI, Wolfgeist has a dressing room to the left of the stage. Let’s take a look around together.”

“Fine,” relented Luigi, “but I want you to stay close to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

The two exited the bathroom and walked back toward the auditorium, Thad directing Luigi to launch him at some speakers mounted on the ceiling along the way. He also helped uncover gold coins, gold bars and gems as he led the man in green toward Wolfgeist’s dressing room. But Luigi wasn’t about to let Thad take point—he walked beside him, Poltergust leveled.

And sure enough, there was a Goob in the dressing room, dusting off an upright piano. Pushing Thad behind him, Luigi stunned the Goob and vacuumed them up before they even knew they had company. Then, he noticed that some of the piano keys were missing and trained his DLD on the piano, revealing the instrument in its entirety.

He played several notes on the upright piano before launching into a tune he’d learned from the Library Poltergeist. However, he’d only played several bars when the piano top flipped open, spilling coins and a gem.

“Whoa,” said Luigi.

“Whoa,” added Thad. “You play pretty good.”

Luigi beamed. “Thanks.”

The two inspected a briefcase, jumping back when a Gold Goob popped out. Luigi stunned the ghost, and Thad wrapped his arms around Luigi’s middle to give him extra leverage. After subduing the Gold Goob and vacuuming up the treasure they spilled, Luigi gave Thad a high-five.

Then, Luigi felt that singular rumbling at his back. A Boo was hiding nearby.

“Thad,” he said, low and urgent. “Wait for me outside.”

Seeing the look on Luigi’s face, Thad obliged without question. Carefully, the man in green scanned the dressing room, using Gooigi’s vibrations as a guide. Eventually, he found the Boo in a small laundry basket near the upright piano.

“Ta-daaa! I’m Boogie! This hotel is pretty swanky!” cackled the Boo.

“J—s! Is that a Boo?” Thad called from outside the dressing room.

“Yes, it is—so stay where you are!” shouted Luigi as he trained his DLD on Boogie.

Fierce protectiveness surged through Luigi as he grabbed Boogie by their tongue and slammed them into the upright piano, several shelves and the floor. He didn’t stop until Boogie was in the Poltergust where they belonged. He was breathing heavily as he walked out of the room and rejoined Thad.

“Thad,” he said. “What did Hellen do to you?”

“She ogled me and the others and made some creepy remarks,” said Thad. “Leave it at that. For now. I’ll tell you everything after you beat King Boo, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And I found—that,” Thad went on, pointing to some sort of socket on the stage. “I don’t know what it does.”

“Me, neither,” said Luigi. “I guess I’ll find out later.”

He let Gooigi out of the Plexiglass tank, the gooey humanoid looking around before his gaze settled on Thad.

“You must be Thad,” said Gooigi.

“And you must be Gooigi,” replied Thad. “Thanks for helping L.”

“Don’t mention it,” Gooigi told him before the two warmly hugged.

The three walked out of the auditorium and toward the elevator, Polterpup trotting behind them.

**…**

Hellen sat in her penthouse, watching the surveillance monitors, wearing only a dark blue halter-top with “[Bleep] you, you f—ing [bleep]” printed on it in white letters. A purple kitten was in her lap, which she methodically stroked as she studied the image of the man in green, her lip curled with contempt. He thought he was so high-and-mighty with that vacuum on his back, but she and her King would get the last laugh, no doubt about it.

Sensing two Goobs behind her, she banished them from her presence with a point and a growl, feeling some satisfaction in how quickly they fled. Her eyes burned into Luigi’s image, watching him board the elevator along with Thad, that ghost dog and some gooey blob shaped like Luigi. Thanks to him, her plan was beginning to unravel, and that didn’t sit very well with her, to say the least.

“I’ll get you, you stupid plumber,” spat Hellen. “I’ll get you…”


	21. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

_Oh, yeah! One down, four more to go!_

_And it looks like I’m next in line to be rescued._

_Yeah? Where are you, Brad?_

_Ninth floor. At least Wolfgeist entertained Thad with his piano. The boss ghost I was_ gifted _to is giving me the silent treatment. I can’t wait for Luigi to get me out of here._

_He’ll come sooner than you think. But right now, let’s see where my lil’ bro is headed to next…_

**…**

Luigi slid down to a seated position inside the elevator, leaning his back against the wall. Gooigi sat beside him, and while he couldn’t physically express worry, it showed in the way he rubbed the small of his companion’s back. Thad plopped himself down on Luigi’s other side, and Polterpup paced back and forth, occasionally woofing with concern.

After some unbearably long minutes, Luigi stirred, having fully composed himself after the battle with Wolfgeist. Thad climbed onto his lap, and Polterpup dashed into the space the Toad had vacated. Gently, Thad rested his head against Luigi’s chest, feeling it rise and fall and listening to the still-brisk heartbeat. It didn’t matter anymore that he was stuck in a hotel of horrors. It didn’t matter what Hellen had done to him, Brad and Chad before they were sealed away. With Luigi, he knew he’d always be safe.

“You’re okay, Thad,” Luigi said softly, reassuring himself as well as his charge. “You’re okay.”

By the time the elevator reached the basement, Thad had dozed off. Luigi held him close, like a child, as he disembarked and strode toward Gadd’s lab.

Gadd turned as Luigi entered. “Welcome back, youngster!” he greeted.

Luigi put a finger to his lips. “Shh—he’s sleeping,” he cautioned.

Gadd’s eyes widened when he saw the slumbering Toad. “Relief, huh?”

“Maybe,” said Luigi, remembering how Mario had conked out after that final battle in 2001.

“Stay here for a sec,” said Gadd, racing outside.

He returned seconds later with five sleeping bags, which he leaned against a wall. He took the white sleeping bag and rolled it out. “Here,” he said to Luigi.

Carefully, Luigi lowered Thad onto the sleeping bag, and Gadd fetched five pillows, placing one under Thad’s head.

“There we go,” said the Professor. “I’ll have some snacks waiting for him when he wakes up.”

“Thanks, Professor,” said Luigi.

He tiptoed over to the storage unit and emptied the Poltergust, his eyes sweeping over the three boss ghosts.

“No hard feelings?” he asked.

Soulffle grumbled something.

“Nah, we’re cool,” Kruller assured him. “It takes two opposing forces to cause friction, and all that.”

“This isn’t actually that bad,” smiled Wolfgeist. “I’ll have all the peace and quiet in the world to write my newest symphony.”

“Glad to hear it,” said Luigi.

Then, he turned to the Professor. “I’d better get going.”

“Wait—wait—are you sure you don’t need anything?” asked Gadd.

“I brought along my own first-aid kit, and I’m not hungry,” Luigi told him. “Thanks, though.”

Determinedly, he strode out of the Lab.

Gooigi and Polterpup lingered behind.

“I’ll take a Gem Locator, a Boo Cartridge and some mini Oreos for the road,” said Gooigi.

“Are you his conscience?” asked Gadd.

“Well—Polterpup and I—we’ve got an understanding,” winked Gooigi as he paid for his purchases, pocketed the merchandise and left with the ghost puppy.

**…**

“There you are,” said Luigi when Gooigi and Polterpup met up with him in the lobby.

“Sorry,” said Gooigi. “I decided to buy us some stuff.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you,” said Luigi. “Thank you.”

They were about to head to the elevator when the phone on the front desk rang.

“No—don’t…” cautioned Gooigi, but Luigi was at the phone in one leap.

“Yello?”

“By rescuing your friend, you’ve disrupted our schedule,” Hellen said in as calm a voice she could muster. “Now, what have you got to say to that?”

“I say, ‘Too bad for you’,” Luigi said crisply.

“You were just lucky,” snapped Hellen, “but I promise you—the next round of ghosts will show you no mercy. They’ll see you reduced to a green-and-blue smear on the floor.”

“Oh, we’ll see,” Luigi snapped back.

“Do you really think you’re a match for us, Mr. Ghostbuster?”

Luigi drew a long breath. “Yippee-ki-yay, Hellen Gravely,” he said before hanging up.

“Let’s go, Gooigi,” he said as he marched to the elevator.

En route to the 6th floor, Gooigi turned to Luigi. “Why do they keep doing that?” he asked.

“To get at me,” replied Luigi.

“Then why take the bait?” asked Gooigi.

“Because once you start running—they’ll never let you stop,” sighed Luigi.

The elevator arrived at their destination, the ghost-wranglers stepping into a castle-themed floor.

“Castle MacFrights,” said Luigi. “I kinda see where this is going.”

He nearly stopped breathing as an ax clattered to the floor just inches from him.

“We’d better be careful,” he said to Gooigi.

They walked to the castle “entrance”, where music began playing from the loudspeakers. There was a rope attached to the entrance gate, but it was on the entrance’s other side.

“I got this,” said Gooigi, slipping through the gate and pulling it open, allowing Luigi to enter.

Once inside the castle, Luigi and Gooigi used their Suction Shots to heave suits of armor overhead, smashing them to the floor and spilling treasure and gems. After that, they walked through another door into some sort of courtyard, which overlooked an arena.

Two Goobs played a brief fanfare on their trumpets, and then a ghostly king with red hair materialized, wearing a kilt.

“You must be King MacFrights,” Luigi called to him.

“I am,” said MacFrights. “Usually, it’s customary for you to kneel before your King.”

“Sorry—I’m in no position to kneel right now,” Luigi said smartly.

“Eh—I’ll give you a free pass tonight,” said MacFrights. “Now—is _this_ what you came here for?” He tauntingly held up the next elevator button.

“Indeed, it is.”

“Well, then—if you want it, then you’ll have to battle me for it,” grinned MacFrights.

“That’s fine with me,” said Luigi.

“Perfect. If you make it through my lovely castle, then I’ll be waiting for you in the arena,” said MacFrights. “See you soon.”

A door revealed itself to Luigi and Gooigi, and they walked through it to find two Goobs sparring with swords. The Goobs then noticed them and used those swords to attack.

During the short skirmish, the duo dodged the ghosts’ attacks, stunned them when they had an opening, and defeated them with a few slams. When two more Goobs appeared, they dealt with them the same way. When the tussle ended, Luigi sported some cuts, but they weren’t serious. He and Gooigi proceeded into a room consisting of stairs, rope pulleys and spikes.

“You can’t get past those spikes, but I can,” said Gooigi. “Leave it to me.”

Luigi watched as Gooigi walked effortlessly through the spiked areas, collecting anything of interest. One last set of spikes blocked the way to the next door, but Gooigi pulled on the rope controlling those spikes, allowing Luigi to pass.

“You’d be lost without me,” said Gooigi as the duo walked into the next room.

This next room was filled with several small barrels and three large barrels, and the door across from them was locked.

“Maybe the key is inside one of these giant barrels,” murmured Luigi.

Before they could start searching, a Goob armed with a shield burst out of one of the barrels!

Thinking quickly, Luigi fired off a Suction Shot, enabling him to yank the shield away and capture the Goob. They were followed by two Oozers, who tossed projectiles at him from a safe distance, and another shield-bearing Goob. With Gooigi’s help, Luigi defeated them all, and then the two used their Suction Shots to open the large barrels and search for the key, which they eventually found in the second barrel.

They unlocked the door, which opened to another room with a spiked floor. Gooigi crossed the spikes to yank on another rope, which caused four balls attached to chains to drop down.

“What do these do?” asked Luigi.

“I think you’re supposed to pull on them,” said Gooigi.

Luigi did so, and while the first three dropped treasure, the fourth opened a trapdoor and allowed him to access an area below the floorboards. Activating a device allowed him to light a torch, burn away a spiderweb and work his way to the other side of the area, where he pulled on another rope to cause a ladder to drop down.

“Sometimes, you need to look below the surface,” Luigi opined before the duo continued on their way.

The next room consisted of a lift and several cages, the former of which was controlled by spinning a wheel.

“You can get in first,” said Gooigi. “I’ll get you to the lower level, and then you can return the favor.”

“Okay.”

So, Luigi got in the lift, and Gooigi blew on the wheel which lowered it. After the former disembarked, he used another wheel to bring the lift back up so that the latter could board, and then he brought Gooigi down to join him.

“The door’s locked,” said Luigi when he tried to open it.

“Good thing I found another one,” said Gooigi, uncovering a secret passageway with the DLD.

This passageway consisted of another room with a spiked floor and a row of mannequins with mounted crossbows. Gooigi pulled down an awning to neutralize the crossbows, but he was stopped by a narrow stream of water.

“Oh, boy,” said Gooigi.

“I got you,” said Luigi, wading across the water and retrieving a key from a chest.

When they returned to the previous room, one of the wheels began spinning wildly, sending the lift crashing to the floor. And out of that lift spilled a small group of Mini Hammers, who attacked the duo with flailing punches. Luckily, Gooigi and Luigi could easily vacuum up their attackers.

“Mini Goobs and Mini Hammers,” said Luigi as he unlocked the next door. “What’s next—Mini Oozers?”

He opened the door, and he and Gooigi accessed a dungeon, the former shielding the latter from some cold water spilling from a bucket.

“Maybe we should take a look around,” said Gooigi. “We could find something useful.”

Nervously, Luigi agreed, and Gooigi used a ball on a chain to pull open the cell door. Instantly, Luigi noticed a key and hurried inside to grab it.

He whirled just in time to see a Goob armed with a second bucket full of water stalking toward Gooigi.

“Gooigi, look out!” he exclaimed.

But it was too late. The Goob laughed as the splashed the water onto Gooigi, causing him to melt. In the next instant, two spiked walls appeared on either side of the dungeon cell, slowly but surely closing in on Luigi.

Once Gooigi reformed in the Plexiglass tank, Luigi summoned him. “Go, go!” he shouted.

Gooigi knew he had to free Luigi from his predicament. Unfortunately, two Goobs stood in his way. As Luigi watched, trying to keep his breath under control, Gooigi battled the Goobs, his gooey face set as he slammed one Goob into the other. After defeating the Goobs with little difficulty, he once again pulled on the iron ball, opening the cell door and allowing Luigi to exit.

Gooigi laughed when he saw that rescue had been on time. Then, he hugged Luigi.

“I’m so sorry!” he cried.

“You had no way of knowing,” said Luigi.

“But I suggested that you go in there,” said Gooigi, “and that key was hanging over a body of water, which meant that I couldn’t reach it.”

“You’re not the one putting me in danger—it’s the ghosts,” said Luigi.

“Oh, Luigi…” Gooigi sounded close to tears. “I’m glad I’m exploring this hotel with you.”

“Ditto,” Luigi breathed.

Eventually, Gooigi calmed down and withdrew from the embrace.

“How about some music?” asked Luigi.

“That would be nice,” said Gooigi.

Luigi selected a new playlist on his Spotify, put in one earbud and offered the other to Gooigi. For a while, they sat against the wall, listening together, Gooigi’s body gently thrumming in response to the audial stimuli.

“I’ve never listened to music with anyone like this before,” murmured Gooigi. “The Professor would just pop in a CD or select a random playlist on his phone and then go about his business. Most of the time, he sees me as only Goo—not Gooigi. I feel more like a person when I’m with you.”

“Like I said the day we met—you’re my gooey brother,” said Luigi.

“If you think of me as a brother,” said Gooigi, “then that makes the Professor—your surrogate father of sorts.”

“He’s been a father figure to me long before he created you,” said Luigi, “but you’re right.”

“And brothers look out for each other, right?”

“Right.”

“Then that’s what I’m gonna do,” said Gooigi, getting to his feet. “Shall we continue?”

Luigi smiled and got up as well. “Okeydokey,” he said.

He unlocked the door, and he and Gooigi proceeded into a bridge room, where the two halves of the bridge faced different directions. Pocketing his phone, Luigi located a rope near the door and pulled on it, lifting a wall to reveal a wheel. Gooigi headed over and spun on the wheel until the two bridge halves joined, and then they carefully walked across the bridge as axes began swinging overhead.

The next room had more of those mounted crossbows and a wooden cart filled with tomatoes, and Luigi had some clue as to how to solve this puzzle. He used the suction and exhaust to push and pull the cart in front of the crossbows, but the cart only blocked half of them. There had to be another cart somewhere!

He then saw some wheels on the other side of the room. Nodding to him, Gooigi unveiled the hidden cart with the DLD and then used it to block the other half of the crossbows. But just as the duo were about to exit, they were swarmed by Mini Goobs who relentlessly tickled them all over their bodies.

After pulling himself together, Luigi used Burst to shake the Mini Goobs off of him, and Gooigi did the same. As the Mini Goobs moved back in, the duo stunned and vacuumed them up in handfuls.

“We’re close,” said Luigi as they pushed through the door. “The arena is just down this hall.”

After dodging some more axes and uncovering the royal coffers, the duo approached the final door.

“I know you wanna help,” said Luigi, “but I want you to sit this boss fight out, okay? It’s—it’s a medieval thing.”

“I get it. I’ll be rooting for you,” said Gooigi before retreating to the Plexiglass tank.

Luigi squared his shoulders, opened the door and strode into the arena. It was time to get the next elevator button.

MacFrights was disbelieved when he saw Luigi enter. “My word—that was quicker than I expected. I was certain that you’d be doomed by the surprise in the dungeon.”

“I almost was,” said Luigi, “but I had some help.”

MacFrights whistled. “You must really want this elevator button.”

“I do.”

MacFrights let out a hearty laugh. “Then come and take it!” he dared. “At last—a worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!”

The ghostly king leaped into a suit of armor mounted on a metallic “horse”. Affixed to the armor was a sterling silver spear, but luckily for Luigi, it was blunt-tipped. While MacFrights wanted to keep his opponent from getting the elevator button, he didn’t really want to _kill_ him. Sounding a battle cry, MacFrights charged forward, Luigi leaping clear in the nick of time.

As a crowd of ghosts suddenly materialized, MacFrights circled the arena once, raising his spear in the air. The spear’s tip gleamed ominously despite it being blunted, and at the same time, small doors on the arena’s walls slid open, revealing arrows which fired at Luigi. As the man in green dodged the onslaught, he took note of the bullseye painted on the armor’s chest. Maybe he could use his Suction Shot to grab hold of that armor and start chiseling away at it. But that could only be possible when MacFrights was facing him.

And sure enough, MacFrights stopped, turned around and glared at his foe before spurring his “horse” into a full gallop, headed for Luigi. This time, Luigi stood his ground, his thumb pressing the Strobulb button, aiming right for MacFrights’s face. Just as the ghostly king thrust his spear forward, his opponent released the charge, freezing him on the spot.

Luigi wasted no time stalling, firing a plunger at the bullseye on the armor, grabbing it in the suction and slamming it all over the arena floor, the ghosts booing and hissing around him. With each slam, pieces of the armor sheared off and scattered everywhere, and after MacFrights broke free, Luigi made it a point to vacuum up the debris.

MacFrights picked himself up, and it all began again. More arrows came Luigi’s way, one or two cutting and scratching him. But he was more concerned about that spear. If he messed up his timing during his foe’s charge, then MacFrights would hook the spear’s tip under the back of his overall straps and slam _him_ around, knocking the wind from him. But practice made perfect, and after only four slip-ups, Luigi finally got the timing right. Sweat seeped down his face and under his shirt as he slammed the armor-clad MacFrights against the hard-wood floor again and again and again. Booing, jeering, clattering metal, crashing, grunting and heavy breathing were the only sounds that could be heard in that arena.

King MacFrights valiantly charged his green-clad opponent three more times. And on that last charge, Luigi heaved MacFrights overhead with all of his might and gave him one last slam, decimating the last of the latter’s armor.

Dazed for a few seconds, MacFrights reeled in the air before drawing a sword, also blunted, and bringing a golden shield to bear. However, this part of the fight was straightforward. Evade or try to evade the sword strikes, wait for MacFrights to drop his shield, and then pounce. Said shield’s heavy weight did little to help MacFrights’s case, especially since he was facing quite the resourceful and stubborn fighter. What was that button to him, anyway?

Yelling out, Luigi slammed MacFrights against the floor one last time, watching him swipe at the air with his sword before he was finally sucked into the Poltergust. He braced himself against the recoil as the elevator button launched itself from the nozzle, and then he blinked the sweat from his eyes as he studied the now-silent spectators.

The ghosts grumbled, but they otherwise departed the arena without attacking Luigi. Laughing in victory, he ran over to the button, scooped it up, wiped it off and slipped it into his pocket.

A drawbridge to his right opened, which took him out of the arena, into the stands and eventually back into the castle courtyard. 

And then Gooigi began to vibrate at his back.

A Boo was nearby.

Scouring the suits of armor lined around the courtyard, Luigi used his Suction Shot to knock over the one near which Gooigi vibrated the most.

The Boo popped out, cackling. “Thou mayest call me Boo-At-Arms! Come, let us duel with honor!”

The two played cat-and-mouse all over the courtyard until Luigi managed to surprise Boo-At-Arms and defeat them in the usual way.

After catching his breath, Luigi summoned Gooigi from his tank.

“I could hear everything!” shouted Gooigi. “There was crashing and huffing and grunting and—you’re okay!”

“For the most part,” replied Luigi. “I have the next elevator button.”

He held it up, and Gooigi smiled.

Hand-in-hand, they walked back to the elevator, watching as the newest button screwed itself into place.

“Okay—so the next place we’re headed is—Garden Suites,” said Luigi as he studied the layout.

“A garden-themed floor,” said Gooigi.

“Indeed,” mused Luigi. “Thank God I brought bug repellant.”

The duo laughed as the doors closed and the elevator ascended.


	22. Don't Feed the Plants

_Hey. Is everyone still doing okay?_

_Yeah._

_I’m good._

_Doing great. How about you? How are you holding up?_

_The best I can. But wow—why did this have to happen again?_

_I don’t know. There are just some things that we simply can’t control, and they happen. The trick is—moving on from those things._

_I—I couldn’t save you, and I couldn’t save myself, and now Luigi—_

_Luigi’s doing fine. While we’re sealed in these portrait frames, we’re with him in spirit, guiding him along, keeping him strong. He’s done this twice already. It should be a_ piece of cake _by now._

_Yeah—a piece of cake. You know—any ordinary people would give up any hope of rescue at this point. But not us. Not us._

**…**

Pollen tickled Luigi’s nose as he stepped out of the elevator, Gooigi and Polterpup behind him. The ensuing sneezing fit soon subsided, however, and he glanced around the room. As far as the eye could see, there was nothing but flora.

“It’s beautiful,” mused Gooigi, drinking in the various flowers blooming in the Garden Suites.

“It is,” conceded Luigi, “in its own eerie way.”

“The next elevator button is probably hidden somewhere,” said Gooigi.

“Let’s get to searching, then,” said Luigi.

They moved down the corridor, vacuuming up any vegetation that impeded them, Polterpup briskly trotting between the two. In his usual way, Luigi began humming a tune as he pushed himself forward, and Gooigi soon joined in, the sound lightly resonating through the latter’s body. Gooigi took one hand off his Poltergust and rested it on Luigi’s forearm. “S’okay,” he said quietly. “S’okay. I’m with you.”

Humming in sync, they continued working their way down the hall. But just as they reached a door, a snake jumped out of the green grass and pounced on Luigi!

Swearing, Luigi clawed at the snake, trying to pull it off of him. Barking, Polterpup charged forward and seized the snake’s tail in his jaws, trying to yank it away from its master. Gooigi used Burst to try and dislodge the snake. Eventually, Luigi gained enough presence of mind to use Burst himself, finally scaring the snake off.

“J—s! Where did _that_ guy come from?!” Luigi demanded of nobody in particular.

He caught his breath and pulled himself together as Gooigi and Polterpup checked him for injuries, the latter licking at the where the snake had latched on.

“The good thing is—that snake wasn’t poisonous,” said Gooigi.

However, that fact gave Polterpup little comfort.

“Don’t worry, puppy,” said Luigi. “I’ll live.”

He gave the ghost dog a quick, comforting pet before the trio walked into a large room.

A large stairway spiraled above them, vines and branches wrapped around the banisters. In front of them was an empty bird bath—with another elevator button hovering over it!

“There it is!” shouted Luigi, running toward the bird bath, picking up the button and examining it. “Funny how they left it out in the open…”

“Excuse me, sir…”

A green, fluorescent hand reached over and plucked the elevator button from Luigi. “I’ll take that, thank you.”

“Hey!” shouted Luigi, spinning around and staring at a bespectacled green ghost with thick eyebrows and an equally thick beard. In one hand, this ghost held the elevator button. And in the other, he held a red watering can.

“Hey, yourself,” said the ghost with a smile. “I’m Dr. Lionel Potter, and I’m a certified botanist. In fact, this entire floor is my playground.”

“That’s very nice,” said Luigi. “Now may I have that elevator button, please?”

“No can do,” said Dr. Potter. “I have orders from our mutual friend to keep it with me at all times.”

As he spoke, Dr. Potter tipped his watering can forward, sending a sprinkle of water onto a blue stalk. Luigi watched as the stalk grew into a carnivorous plant which opened its jaws. Then, Dr. Potter dropped the elevator button into the plant’s maw, the jaws snapping shut around it.

“Feel free to look around my garden, though,” said Dr. Potter as he watered the plant again, “and when you’re done, hopefully we can chat some more.” He tipped his hat at Luigi and then disappeared as the blue plant grew to titanic size.

Luigi turned to Gooigi and Polterpup. “We gotta follow that botanist,” he said urgently.

So they did.

Up the stairs they went, vacuuming any obstructing shrubbery and vegetation, once again listening to the music on Luigi’s smartphone. Of course, Dr. Potter was there to throw more obstacles in their way, using his watering-can to grow big, long and thick plants which smashed through one flight of stairs, forcing the adventurers to detour. However, they surmounted this setback by stepping across large plant leaves and swinging on plant cords.

A large plant blocked them from another door, but pulling on an exposed root caused it to practically fall to pieces. Exchanging looks, the duo accessed an overgrown bedroom.

“There’s no sign of him,” said Gooigi, “but the door up ahead is blocked.”

Together, Gooigi and Luigi scoured the bedroom for anything of interest before vacuuming all of the plant life from the door. Just as they were finished, however, a pinkish-purple gate slammed over the door, and a Goob appeared, armed with a flower.

The Goob jabbed the flower at Luigi’s nose, causing him to sneeze, but then Gooigi took charge, vacuuming the flower away. Once Luigi recovered, he stunned and captured the Goob.

“Turn around,” said Gooigi. “There’s more!”

Three or four more Goobs appeared and armed themselves with flowers, using them to either make Luigi sneeze or tickle him. The flowers also blocked the Strobulb flash, so he and Gooigi had to vacuum them away or Burst them out of the Goobs’ hands before going on the offensive.

After defeating the Goobs, the duo walked into the just-as-overgrown bathroom, where rose petals gently drifted down from the ceiling.

“Hm,” said Luigi. “Very _American Beauty_.”

He and Gooigi vacuumed the piles of rose petals on the floor, and then Gooigi slipped through a drain pipe to scour the area beneath the floorboards. They found some coins and a gem, and then they cleared away some more foliage to discover a hole in the wall, which took them back to the stairway.

They walked up the next flight of stairs to the next level, where Dr. Potter waited for them.

“So—how’s the sightseeing going?” asked Dr. Potter.

“Very well, thank you,” Luigi replied, “save for the snakes that keep jumping out at me.”

Dr. Potter rubbed his hands together. “You haven’t seen anything yet,” he said. “Plants have fascinated me from the time I was a boy—especially the big ones. The bigger, the better. Once I began my botany career, I researched ways to cultivate the biggest, longest and thickest plants the world had ever seen. Even Death itself hasn’t been able to stop me.”

“I can see that,” said Luigi.

“The water in my can has magical powers,” explained Dr. Potter. “It can turn any small, pitiful plant into an arousing, florid wonder. Observe…”

He sprinkled some of the aforementioned water onto a small, pineapple-shaped fruit. The fruit shuddered for a few seconds before it transformed into a large, bush-like plant. And this plant commenced to spit giant pineapple-shaped fruits at Luigi!

Luigi grabbed Gooigi’s hand, and they retreated down the stairs to evade the initial projectile. Then, they endeavored to force their way up to try and take out the plant giving them trouble, only for the succeeding projectiles to knock them back down. Before long, the man in green was bruised, scratched up and cross. How in God’s name was he gonna…?

“Puppy, no!” he exclaimed as Polterpup bounded up the stairs, seized the knotted root in his jaws and pulled.

Instantly, the plant withered away to nothing.

Polterpup reached the top of the stairs and barked angrily at Dr. Potter, who immediately got the message and fled.

Luigi dropped to his knees and threw his arms around the puppy.

“Wow—he’s really looking out for you,” said Gooigi.

Luigi leaned into Polterpup’s ear, murmuring loving words.

“Just be careful next time, okay?” asked Luigi as he stood to his feet.

“Arf!” Polterpup replied.

A thick, green vine with red thorns obstructed the rest of the stairwell, so the adventurers stepped through another hole in the wall and into another bathroom. The place was filled with fallen leaves and sprawling with vines, and there was a heavy trash bin nearby. Using this trash bin and a Suction Shot, Gooigi and Luigi took turns breaking the toilet, sink and bathtub, allowing them to yank on the vines’ knotted ends, thus getting rid of them.

The duo turned to leave, only for another gate to slam down.

Ghostly laughter echoed all around.

“Who’s there?” asked Luigi as some leaves began to stir.

A chill crept up the back of his neck, and he whirled just in time to see a purple ghost leer at him!

He leaped backwards with a sharp cry as the ghost slunk backward. A Slinker—that was a good name for this ghost.

Using their Dark Light Devices, Luigi and Gooigi uncovered the Slinker and stunned them in tandem. The Slinker, like the Hammers, had two tails, allowing Luigi to suction onto one tail and Gooigi to suction onto the other. The pair maintained a sharp cadence as they slammed the Slinker into the floor and the remains of the porcelain bathtub. A low growl sounded just as they defeated the Slinker, and they whirled to see a Hammer burst out of the tub, their face covered in leaves.

Blindly, the Hammer swiped at Luigi and Gooigi, who carefully vacuumed the leaves away from the ghost’s face. When they were finished, the Hammer blinked a few times, gave them a small grunt of thanks and left peacefully, much to their shock.

They approached the next flight of stairs, where they heard Dr. Potter laugh as he watered yet another pineapple-shaped fruit. This time, the resulting plant spat two giant fruits at a time.

“Yes—yes!” said Dr. Potter as he watched the scene with greedy eyes. “Now isn’t _that_ a huge beauty?”

“Puppy,” Luigi said softly. “Could you…”

Polterpup scampered up the stairs and took care of this plant the same way he’d taken care of the first. Dr. Potter beat another hasty retreat, and the trio proceeded into another overgrown bedroom.

This room had even thicker vegetation, with vines wrapped around the closet, some of the furniture and the next door. Gooigi’s and Luigi’s vacuums weren’t strong enough to clear away this foliage. Then, Polterpup directed their attention toward a contraption with a green panel on it. Luigi flashed at the panel, and then the tool whirred to life, the serrated steel wheel beginning to spin.

“A buzzsaw,” grinned Luigi. “Perfect.”

Whistling a tune, Luigi began to tear his way through foliage and furniture alike, effortlessly cutting through the thicker vines swathed everywhere. By the time he finished shredding the last of the vines, the bed, bedpost, closet, sofa and drawer were no more.

“I think that’s everything, Luigi,” said Gooigi.

Luigi set aside the buzzsaw and wiped his brow. “Guess so,” he said.

He’d just turned the doorknob when a glowing, blue vine burst out of the wall, grabbed him and hoisted him aloft.

Luigi kicked, flailed, and screamed, but his efforts did no good. Not even using Burst could help him escape. The vine was squeezing him, squeezing him and groping him and caressing him all over his body. Dr. Potter’s laughter floated in as the tip of the vine shamelessly fondled its captive.

“That one seems to like you,” he chuckled, “and I can see why. When I was your age, I had lots of heads turning, as well.”

“Gooigi! Get the saw!” shouted Luigi.

Spurred by his pal’s increasingly hysterical tone and the nightmarish undertones of the situation, Gooigi snatched up the power saw and ran to Luigi’s aid. In seconds, the saw sliced through the vine, the withering plant releasing Luigi at once. Gooigi caught him before he could hit the ground.

“Party pooper,” huffed Dr. Potter’s voice, and then all was quiet.

“L—Luigi!” gasped Gooigi. “Are you…?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Luigi swiftly cut Gooigi off. “Let’s—never speak of this again.”

With a whine, Polterpup trotted over to join Luigi, and the man in green picked him up and buried his face into the puppy’s “fur”.

They proceeded into a room filled with watermelons, with one particularly large watermelon leaning off to one side. When Gooigi and Luigi broke that watermelon, they found four Goobs hiding within. Quickly, they defeated the Goobs before breaking open the rest of the melons. A hole in the wall led them back to the stairwell, where they had to use some long plant leaves and vines to step and swing their way up.

A door on the next level was blocked, so they walked up the next set of stairs, toward the top of that carnivorous plant. Dr. Potter saw them approaching and doused the plant with his watering-can, laughing as the ground began to shake. Another extension of the plant burst out from the stairs, and before Luigi could give it enough distance, he was sent flying into a wall, leaving a hole which allowed him access to the previously-blocked room.

“And I thought the Haunted Towers was bad,” muttered Luigi as he got to his feet and walked inside.

This room had multiple levels, and some purple, bouncing mushrooms were scattered about. After examining his surroundings, Luigi surmised that he’d have to use those mushrooms to progress up each level.

“Get back in the tank,” he said to Gooigi. “I’ll carry you to the top.”

“Okeydokey,” said Gooigi, hopping back into the Plexiglass tank.

“Come here, puppy,” said Luigi, and Polterpup scampered into his arms.

After tucking Polterpup into his overalls, Luigi carefully climbed onto one of the mushrooms, and with one Burst, turned it into a trampoline. Steadily, the man in green bounced his way to the top, collecting treasure and duking it out with more ghosts along the way. He reached a door that took him back to the stairwell and then worked his way across a series of leaf bridges until he reached the top of the flytrap-like plant.

“We made it,” Luigi said to Gooigi after freeing him from the tank. “Now we’ve got to get the elevator button out of this flytrap’s jaws. I’ll take this side, and you can take the other.”

Gooigi walked over to the other side of the flytrap. Together, the pair launched a Suction Shot at the plant’s jaws, opening them with a good tug.

The elevator button flew into the air and then descended, Gooigi making a grab for it and missing. As the button rolled toward the edge of the flower, Luigi raced toward it, only to watch his prize roll off the edge and drop back down to the floor.

“D—mit!” he swore.

“Sorry,” Gooigi apologized.

“It’s not your fault,” said Luigi, putting an arm around his gooey bro.

“Hey! I see it!” exclaimed Gooigi. “It’s down there!”

Luigi followed Gooigi’s finger and saw the elevator button laying on the ground, thankfully still intact.

“Well, how are we gonna…?” Luigi was interrupted when the leaf he and Gooigi were standing on snapped from the weight, sending them both plummeting.

Fortunately, they landed on the plant’s stem, which broke their fall and allowed them to slide safely back down to the bottom.

“You okay?” asked Gooigi.

“Yeah, and you?”

“I’m fine.”

They stood, dusted themselves off and walked toward the elevator button.

“I got it!” laughed Luigi, reaching down to grab the button.

There was a hissing sound, and then a fearsome, carnivorous plant lunged toward Luigi, seizing the button in its jaws.

“Not again,” Luigi groaned, scuttling backwards.

“Hello, there,” said Dr. Potter as he lovingly stroked the top of the plant’s head. “Nice to see you again. You’ve now reached the _piece de resistance_ of your tour. I’d like you to meet my greatest creation—Audrey.” He indicated the plant.

“H—hi, Audrey,” greeted Luigi, his voice rattling.

“Audrey is my ideal plant,” Dr. Potter went on as Audrey stared hungrily at Luigi. “Just look at her. Look at her! She has a great reach, she can grow enviously tall—and witness her magnificent tumescence!” He laughed. “It took most of my life, but my work is now complete. I’ve grown _the_ species of carnivorous plant, one that’s bigger, longer and thicker than any carnivorous plant in the history of humankind. However—Audrey’s story has only just begun.”

Audrey spat the elevator button into Dr. Potter’s hand.

“Thank you, dear,” said Dr. Potter, pocketing the button. “Now, how would you like some dessert?”

Audrey’s eyes glowed in response.

“I thought so,” giggled Dr. Potter. “Well, my young friend, it looks like the tour is over. But for what it’s worth, I have nothing personal against you. I even gave you an opportunity to leave. But Audrey’s a little hungry, and I have instructions I must follow. And so—I bid you— _adieu_!”

Audrey stretched across the room, snapping her jaws at Luigi. Crying out, Luigi dove to his left, watching the carnivorous plant bite off a small piece of the towering stalk. And then he saw it—another buzzsaw.

“That’s it!” he whispered, getting up and darting toward the weapon.

Audrey attacked again before Luigi could grab the buzzsaw, snatching him around the waist and dragging him away. She tossed him in the air once, grabbed him in her jaws and squeezed. In a wild flash of inspiration, he used Burst to escape from her clutches and managed to land on his feet. Gasping, he looked over and saw Gooigi, holding out the buzzsaw to him.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed breathily, taking the buzzsaw in his vacuum’s suction and turning back toward Audrey.

“Do you see one of those fruits over there?” asked Gooigi.

“Yeah!”

“Trick her into biting into one of them!” said Gooigi. “It’s your only chance!”

Luigi spun around and ran to one of the aforementioned fruits, sliding behind it just in time as Audrey lunged at him once more. Her jaws wound up stuck in the fruit’s flesh, and her stem was now stretched taut. The carnivorous plant, and by extension, Dr. Potter, was now open to an attack.

Brandishing the buzzsaw, Luigi broke cover and began using the power tool to cut through Audrey’s stem. Dr. Potter desperately tried to pull his plant away, but it was no use. The saw chewed through the last of the stem, snapping the plant cleanly in two and throwing the ghostly botanist back a short distance.

“Audrey! My beautiful Audrey!” Dr. Potter exclaimed.

With a shout, Luigi cast aside the buzzsaw and moved in on Dr. Potter at once, stunning him and beginning to vacuum him up. Once the power gauge was full, the man in green mercilessly slammed Dr. Potter this way and that, not stopping until his arms were tired.

Breaking free, Dr. Potter just smiled at Luigi and doused his now-empty flowerpot with his watering-can, causing Audrey to re-grow. Once again, the carnivorous plant pursued Luigi and Gooigi, snapping her jaws at them. She managed to take a few bites out of Gooigi, but the humanoid reacted to it like it was nothing and quickly reformed. Following some heart-pounding maneuvering by both ghost-hunters, Audrey wound up inadvertently biting into another of those fruits. Grabbing the buzzsaw, Luigi cut through the plant a second time, exposing Dr. Potter to the Strobulb, and the vacuuming and slamming began again.

It went on for what seemed like forever. Audrey hissing and snapping. Dr. Potter laughing. The buzzsaw whirling. Heavy breaths kicking from Luigi’s lungs. His face-off against Dr. Potter and Audrey left him scratched, scraped, cut and bleeding from the instances where the latter managed to grab hold of him. But he didn’t run, instead baiting the plant into biting into a fruit so he could have another go at her with the saw. _For them_ , he thought. _For them._

Ultimately, Dr. Potter and Audrey were no match for Luigi’s determination, and he managed to subdue the latter and slam the former into submission. After one last slam, the suction overcame the ghostly botanist, but as a parting shot to Luigi, he threw the elevator button out of his reach. However, Dr. Potter didn’t count on his watering-can ejecting itself from the Poltergust. Nor did he count on a small sprout materializing nearby.

Luigi was shaking a little as he took the watering-can and watered the sprout, watching it grow into a leafy ladder. Then, he shimmied up the ladder and grabbed the hard-earned elevator button.

A laugh escaped him as he held up the button. “I did it!” he exclaimed.

Gooigi helped him back down. “Wow. You’re shaking,” he observed.

“I’m fine,” said Luigi. “I just need to calm down.”

“You’re hurt,” Gooigi went on. “Audrey nailed you badly a few times.”

“I’m _fine_.”

“Luigi—I’m sorry I didn’t do more.”

“Gooigi…”

“You won’t be any good to your friends in this state,” Gooigi persisted. “Okay, that’s it—you’re going back to the 5th floor, and I’m gonna patch you up.”

“No, no, no! Mario…”

“I wasn’t asking, Luigi,” said Gooigi. “Audrey did a number on you, and you’re not going anywhere until you’re disinfected and bandaged.”

Gooigi’s tone left no room for argument, and Luigi sighed. “Fine,” he said.

They left the room and walked toward the elevator, Gooigi supporting Luigi with his weight. Once they called the elevator and stepped inside, Luigi fished the elevator button out of his pocket and watched as it fitted itself into place.

“Paranormal Productions,” he mused as he studied the VB’s projected layout. “Looks like we’ll be heading to a movie studio next.”

“Yep,” said Gooigi. “First, however…” He pressed the button to the 5th floor.

Luigi sighed deeply, allowing his head to come to rest against Gooigi’s shoulder.

“That’s right. Just lean on me,” Gooigi said softly.

When they reached the 5th floor, Gooigi lifted Luigi and carried him bridal-style to his room.

“C’mon, Gooigi,” said Luigi as his gooey brother laid him on the bed. “I’m not an invalid.”

“I just want you to save your strength,” said Gooigi. “Okay, could you—take off your shoes and unbutton your overalls, please?”

Luigi obliged, kicking off his shoes and dropping them before the nightstand. Then, he unhooked his overalls and slid them down to his waist. As he did this, Gooigi prepared the first-aid kit.

Once Gooigi had the materials set out, he looked over at Luigi. “The shirt, too, of course,” he said.

“Whatever you say,” said Luigi as he pulled the shirt up and over his head.

“Oh—wow—okay—Audrey got you good,” murmured Gooigi as he studied the lacerations on his pal’s torso.

His—liberally muscular torso.

Gooigi was shocked that the injuries Luigi had sustained thus far didn’t eclipse his good looks. The older, healing wounds barely even left a scar, and even the fresh and fading bruises seemed to give his beauty a bit of an unkempt quality. Gooigi marveled at Luigi for a bit, his matter shifting so that he matched his companion’s appearance, before he snapped himself out of it, straddled Luigi and tended to his wounds.

First was the dabbing alcohol, Luigi jumping a little and hissing at the stings. Then, Gooigi applied a cold compress, feeling Luigi’s muscles relax as he sank into the mattress. He stared deeply into Luigi’s eyes, seeing that singular restlessness shining in them, and then he watched him bite at his lower lip.

“S’okay, Luigi. I got you. I got you,” said Gooigi, stroking Luigi’s cheek and jawline with a gooey thumb. “S’okay. S’okay.”

He finished treating the wounds with the cold compress before bandaging them, his fingertips lightly skimming the expanse of that bare upper body as he worked. Leaning down, Gooigi gently kissed across the bandaged cuts before doing the same to any bruises he came across.

“Wow,” breathed Luigi. “That’s what Mario used to do when we were kids.”

Gooigi raised his head. “Does it help?”

“You bet,” said Luigi. “Thank you.”

“Almost done,” said Gooigi as he tended to the last of Luigi’s injuries. “And there—we—are. See, that wasn’t so bad.”

“No—it wasn’t,” said Luigi.

The two stared intently at each other. And slowly, Gooigi leaned toward Luigi until his body was hovering over his, their lips micrometers apart.

“Gooigi, wha…?”

He fell silent as their lips brushed, Gooigi taking in the softness of his counterpart’s lips and the warmth of his breath. And he wanted to press his own lips to Luigi’s—he wanted to taste them—he suddenly wanted to kiss him all over his body and make him—

..and it felt so _weird_. First of all, they were brothers—in a way. Second of all, Luigi was spoken for. Gooigi had no idea why he was feeling like this, and there was no time for him to dwell on the matter.

“Okay?” Gooigi asked, breaking the moment.

Luigi nodded. “Okay,” he said.

He sat up and re-dressed. “Let’s head over to Paranormal Productions,” he said.

“I’ve always wanted to tour a movie studio,” Gooigi said brightly.

“Hey—me, too.”

Hand-in-hand, Luigi and Gooigi walked toward the elevator.

And the adventure resumed.


	23. There's No Business Like Show Business

_What. Was. That?_

_I—I don’t really know._

_Stuck in this hotel of horrors—and Gooigi is all Luigi has right now. Can you really blame them?_

_Yes, well—good luck explaining that to Daisy._

_Hey, relax. Technically, it’s not cheating._

_O—kay. Let’s just—get back to what they’re doing, shall we?_

**…**

A flourishing, bombastic tune played on the loudspeakers as Luigi, Polterpup and Gooigi arrived on the 8th floor, Paranormal Productions. The place looked exactly like a movie studio, with a red carpet, spotlights hanging from the ceiling and cameras on display. There was a small set with a helicopter hovering over a mountain range, and spinning the helicopter blades made the aircraft lower, yielding a gem.

“This is so cool,” breathed Luigi. “An actual movie studio!”

“I’d love to be in a movie,” Gooigi said dreamily. “How about you?”

“Well—back in the 90s, a studio in the States tried to make a movie about me and Mario.” Luigi made a face. “It was horrible—so horrible that it’s become a taboo subject in the MK.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” said Gooigi.

They made their way down a corridor, where various movie posters lined the walls. Posters for action movies, sports movies, comedies, dramas, adventures—the poster for one sports movie reminded Luigi of a soccer tournament in the MK, known as Strikers. There was another poster advertising a film about a small-time boxer aspiring to make it big, and this boxer had an uncanny resemblance to Little Mac, an acquaintance from the Smash tournament. And a poster for a sci-fi action film was a clear homage to the _Metroid_ franchise.

“Hey! That’s you!” Gooigi exclaimed, pointing to another poster.

“Wha…?” Luigi stared at the poster and stopped cold. For there was an image of him or someone who looked like him, standing before King Boo.

“They _should_ make a movie out of this,” said Gooigi. “Just imagine—audiences around the world watching you kick ghost [bleep].”

Luigi allowed himself a small smile. “Yeah, that would be nice,” he said, “but I really don’t want people to profit off of this.”

They arrived at the studio entrance, only to discover that the double doors were locked.

“Hey,” said Gooigi. “I saw a key when we got off the elevator. It was in a glass case next to a TV.”

“A TV—like this one?” asked Luigi, turning toward a widescreen TV with a green panel on it.

“Yeah,” said Gooigi. “But—what’s with the green panel?”

“Let’s find out,” said Luigi, activating the panel with the Strobulb.

The TV flickered to life, displaying an image of a red helicopter over a snowy mountain range—the very movie set that was near the elevator!

Mesmerized, Gooigi reached out a finger toward the TV, but instead of touching glass, the finger went straight through the picture.

“Wow,” gasped Luigi. “It’s not just a TV. It’s a teleporter.”

He walked through the TV screen after Gooigi and found himself back near the elevator. And there was the key his gooey bro was talking about, hanging in a display case!

Luigi freed the key with his Suction Shot and pocketed it. Then, he, Gooigi and Polterpup walked back to the studio entrance, where he unlocked the double doors and opened them.

“Whoa,” the two ghost hunters breathed in unison.

They were now on a giant movie soundstage. Filming equipment and props were scattered about, and four more widescreen TVs stood in a neat row. A blue ghost, clad in a beret and a black turtleneck, sat in the director’s chair, crying.

Despite the fact that they were a ghost, Luigi felt a small pang in his heart. He always hated seeing people sad, and he’d do his best to cheer him up. The man in green looked to Gooigi for guidance, who nodded. Together, they walked over to the upset director ghost.

“The tragedy,” the ghost lamented. “Is this my end? Is this what I, Chase Mortimer, director of the finest films, am destined for? How can I lose it?”

“Lose what?” asked Gooigi.

“I am a puny, worthless movie director—that’s all,” Chase went on. “Reduced to babysitting this stupid elevator button!” As he spoke, Chase held up the button. “What makes it so d—n special, anyway?”

“Ah—e-excuse me, Mr. Mortimer,” Luigi spoke up.

“Huh? Wha…?” Chase turned around in his chair. “Oh! Hello there!” He wiped at his eyes.

“Maybe I can help,” Luigi shyly offered.

“Really? You’d help restore me to my former glory?”

“Yes, Mr. Mortimer,” said Luigi.

Chase smiled. “My friends call me Morty,” he said.

“Okeydokey, Morty. You said that you lost something. What is it?”

Morty sighed heavily. “My bright red megaphone,” he explained. “I’d give anything to be able to hold my dear, sweet megaphone again.” More tears poured down his cheeks.

“It’s okay, Morty—don’t cry,” Luigi said gently. “I’ll find it. Gooigi and I will look all over this studio, and we won’t stop searching till we find it.”

Morty smiled and gave a grateful laugh. “Thank you, sir,” he said. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And you can call me Luigi.”

Luigi gave Morty a nod before glancing at four doors with numbers on them. He guessed that these doors would lead to smaller soundstages. However, as he headed toward one door, a statue of a snow monster grabbed him!

He struggled against the statue’s grip for a few seconds before using Burst to free himself. The statue’s head tumbled off, and from it emerged Polterpup.

“Puppy!” Luigi admonished.

Polterpup gave an apologetic whine and jumped into Luigi’s arms, and the man in green rubbed the top of the puppy’s head to show that he wasn’t angry.

Relieved, the ghost puppy licked Luigi’s cheek and phased through a door marked “4”. On this soundstage was a set containing a large cardboard box, several large coins, a giant wrench, bent nails and a large glass bottle.

“What kind of movie is this?” asked Gooigi. “A movie about miniature people?”

“It could be,” said Luigi. “ _The Incredible Shrinking Man_ comes to mind. But look over there! In that web—there’s Morty’s megaphone!”

Sure enough, the ghostly director’s coveted item was entangled in some phony spiderwebs.

“Those look like some sturdy webs, too,” Luigi went on, “so we can’t vacuum them. We’ll need to burn them. Gooigi—we have to look for a source of flame.”

“Boy—that’s gonna be fun,” huffed Gooigi.

Luigi noticed another TV teleporter and activated it before leaving the soundstage.

Back on the main soundstage, Luigi and Gooigi walked through a door marked “3”, which contained a street setting and a few firefighter hats.

Luigi snapped his fingers. “This is a movie about firefighters,” he said. “And where there are firefighters, fire is surely involved.”

Gooigi shuddered. “I’ll melt unless I don’t have something to catch some of the fire,” he said. “My best bet is that we’ll have to look around the other soundstages for clues.”

“And there’s another teleporter,” mused Luigi, activating it. “These will probably come in handy.”

They returned to the main soundstage and walked through a door marked “1”. This soundstage had a gloomy setting, with dry autumn leaves, gnarled branches and a well.

“What movie are they trying to make here?” asked Luigi as he and Gooigi explored. “One thing’s for sure—this set kinda reminds me of Boo Woods.”

After activating the teleporter on the soundstage, Luigi headed over to the last soundstage, through a door marked “2”. This soundstage was set up for an epic period film, with a wheelbarrow, some barrels and part of a decimated castle.

Gooigi’s eyes were on a torch on the “castle” wall. “What if we used that torch to get some of the fire from the fire set?” he asked. “Then, we can burn that web and get Morty’s megaphone back.”

“Good thinking,” said Luigi, “but what about that set with the well? Wells usually have water in them—so I guess we have to use that water to douse that torch before we start carrying it around. Can’t you see? This whole thing is a big puzzle. We’ll have to utilize something from each of the four small sets to help retrieve the megaphone. And since we’ll have to carry objects from place to place, we’ll need those teleporters.” Luigi quickly found the teleporter in the castle set and activated it. “This is genius.”

He and Gooigi walked back into the main soundstage, where they came upon a metal pail.

“Hey, Morty,” said Luigi. “Mind if I borrow this pail?”

“Go ahead,” Morty replied.

Luigi took the pail and walked to the first soundstage via the teleporter.

Once inside, Luigi dropped the pail into the well before glancing at the camera. “Okay, Gooigi—I’m gonna have to film you,” he said, stepping behind the camera.

“Okay,” said Gooigi.

Luigi glanced through the camera lens and gasped. The movie set came to life, showing Gooigi, the well and the branches behind the ominous backdrop of a pale moon in a starry sky. There was a two-story house perched on a hill, two of its windows lit. And that house reminded Luigi of the mansion that started it all.

_Keep it together,_ Luigi chided himself.

“Luigi,” Gooigi called. “Are you getting me?”

“Yeah.”

“Then zoom in on me.”

As Luigi obliged, Gooigi peered down the well—and then jumped back as a dummy wearing a white dress and sunglasses surfaced, holding the now-full pail in its arms.

“What is this, _The Ring_?” asked Luigi, recognizing the stringy-haired dummy as a stand-in for Samara. It would’ve been scary, except for the sunglasses and the rubber ducky perched on the dummy’s head.

Gooigi retrieved the pail and handed it to Luigi, and they walked through the teleporter back to the main soundstage. From there, they headed to the castle set.

After passing the pail to Gooigi, Luigi stepped behind the camera, and the castle set came to life. Stones from a catapult smashed into the castle wall, uncovering a sprout. So _that_ was how they could use the water.

Noticing the sprout, Gooigi went to douse it with the water, only to be distracted by Goobs armed with fake swords, portraying the “invaders”. Gooigi captured them one at a time, only to be knocked back by an explosion and a collapsing wall. Only slightly dazed, the gooey ghost hunter stood as some more Goobs flew in through the decimated wall and attacked. These Goobs had shields, which Gooigi yanked away with the Suction Shot. Then, he sucked them all into his Poltergust without breaking a sweat.

With the ghosts taken care of, Gooigi watered the sprout, which quickly blossomed into a leafy ladder. He shimmied up the ladder to the top of the “castle”, where he used the vacuum to extinguish the torch and then grabbed it in the suction.

“I got it!” he cried triumphantly.

“Good going!” said Luigi as Gooigi slid back down.

Armed with the unlit torch, Gooigi and Luigi headed over to the firefighter set. And once again, Luigi took hold of the camera. The “street” was turned into a fiery disaster, a red-orange glow enveloping the scene. Gooigi could feel the heat from where he stood, but he bravely grabbed the torch and held it toward the flame.

Sirens sounded in the distance, and Gooigi glanced up to see some Goob firefighters, along with a Hammer firefighter, arriving. These ghosts wore firefighter hats and dark glasses, and they were armed with fire extinguishers.

“Oh, great,” muttered Gooigi, charging into the fray.

The ghosts forgot about the blaze the minute they saw Gooigi, instead trying to turn their fire extinguishers on him. However, Gooigi used Burst to disarm them before stunning them and slamming them, making sure to avoid the fire.

After defeating the ghosts, Gooigi faced another Hammer with a siren on their head. He took a few punches and swipes, but he managed to wrestle the big ghost into the Poltergust. Finally, he took the unlit torch and held it near the fire until it ignited.

“Let’s get out of here,” huffed Gooigi when he was finished.

Together, Luigi and Gooigi carried the blazing torch to the set with the spiderweb. As Luigi watched from behind the camera, Gooigi set the torch aside and fired a Suction Shot at the box’s lower flap. When he pulled the flap open, a giant, hairy “spider” popped out! This “spider” was lavender with orange and dark purple stripes, and for Luigi, it brought back some memories of the giant spider queen in the Gloomy Manor’s cellar. Sure, said spider queen was being possessed, and once the possessor ghost was defeated, she shrunk back to normal size, but still. Fortunately, this “spider” was only a prop, which quickly ran into the torch and was disintegrated as a result.

After vacuuming up some obstructing debris, Gooigi used the torch to burn away the “web”. The trapped megaphone clattered to the floor, and Luigi ran over and picked it up.

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi. “Let’s give this back to our director friend.”

They returned to the main soundstage, where Luigi triumphantly presented the megaphone to Morty.

“Here you go,” he said.

Uttering a joyful cry, Morty took his megaphone and hugged it close, stroking it tenderly. “Oh, thank God!” he exclaimed. “I thought I lost you!” He kissed the megaphone before his eyes fell back on Luigi.

“Hey! Wait a minute!” he exclaimed, flying out of the director’s chair and looking over the man in green. “I didn’t notice until now, but your face—you have some nice features!”

Luigi blushed.

“And your build—not bad. Not bad at all!” laughed Morty.

Luigi’s blush deepened.

Morty’s eyes wandered over Luigi some more before he held out his hands in a “finger frame”.

“Oh, yes—I see all the makings of a star! And not just any star—a _leading man_! Wouldn’t you like to be a leading man, Luigi?”

“I would,” Luigi said softly. “More than anything.”

Morty laughed gaily. “My creativity is shaking off all the dust and surging to life!” he cried. 

The gate to the main soundstage opened, revealing a miniature “city”. Luigi had _some_ clue as to what this movie was going to be.

“Come along,” said Morty, steering Luigi toward the city set. “Let’s start shooting! Where’s my crew! Places, everyone! Take your places!”

“Are you sure about this, Morty?” asked Luigi. “I don’t think I have the temperament to play a monster.”

“Just be yourself,” said Morty. “That’s what I always tell all of my actors.”

He patted Luigi on the shoulder and flew up to a camera mounted on a dolly. After making some adjustments, he peered through it. “Action!” he commanded.

Miniature cars whizzed past Luigi, one of them striking Luigi’s boot and flipping over.

“Sorry,” he said as he cautiously moved through the “city.”

A crash arrested his attention, and he glanced up to see another “monster” tear their way through the city, roaring and shooting fire and energy balls from their mouth.

_All right—a monster vs. monster film. That makes sense, I guess._

Growling, the “monster”, merely a Goob in a monster suit, stomped toward Luigi before launching a green energy ball at him. Quickly, Luigi used his vacuum’s exhaust to push the projectile back toward the “monster”, and after some struggle, he sent it slamming into his opponent, knocking them onto their back.

“Excellent!” exclaimed Morty. “Excellent! Keep it up!”

The “monster” got back up and pursued Luigi around the city set, blasting fiery projectiles his way. Luigi dodged, weaved and used Blast to evade the worst of them, but some of the fireballs managed to connect. However, he hardly felt the burns.

He turned just as the “monster” fired a larger energy ball at him. This one was harder to control, as the “monster” seemed to have learned from the first time. Sweat poured down his face as he pushed back with the exhaust function with all his might.

“That’s very good, Luigi,” said Morty, “but now I need twice as much input from you!”

_Twice as much—that’s it!_

“Gooigi! A little help!” called Luigi.

“Here I go!” exclaimed Gooigi as he took his place at Luigi’s side, the two of them blowing the energy ball back towards the monster.

“Excellent work, you two!” cheered Morty. “My gut tells me this is gonna be a masterpiece!”

The now-damaged “monster” once again stalked after Luigi and Gooigi, the former shielding the latter from fireballs and collapsing debris.

“Wait a sec—is that Godzilla?” asked Gooigi.

“Well—kinda,” said Luigi as the two continued dodging about, “but due to international copyright laws, we can’t actually call it Godzilla.”

“Oh—well, that makes sense,” said Gooigi.

Then, the monster geared up to launch one final energy ball.

“You ready, Gooigi?” panted Luigi.

“You bet I am!”

“Then let’s do this!” shouted Luigi, turning his exhaust to full blast.

Gooigi did the same, and the duo repelled the third, even larger energy ball as it came at them.

“Now is your chance to achieve stardom!” Morty shouted to them.

Luigi and Gooigi gave this final stretch everything they had, the former putting in so much effort that his head ached. A yell tore from both of their lips as they sent the energy ball barreling into the “monster”. The “monster” flew into the air before tumbling to the ground, bouncing off the set a few times before finally coming to rest. Then, the Goob in the monster suit emerged from the costume’s smoldering remains, coughing and waving away the smoke.

“Now this,” said Morty. “Oh, _this_ is art…”

Gooigi and Luigi high-fived, and then the latter took on the Goob, slamming them all over the set until their HP was depleted.

“And—cut! That’s a wrap!” Morty shouted into the megaphone.

With a happy sigh, Morty tossed his megaphone aside before pulling the film reels from his camera. Holding the reels under his arm, he flew down to Luigi and Gooigi.

“I can’t thank you enough,” said the ghostly director. “Doing a monster vs. monster project has always been a goal of mine.”

“Thank you, too,” said Luigi, “for giving me the opportunity to act in a film.”

“Listen, Luigi,” said Morty, fishing the elevator button out of his pocket. “I’m not supposed to give you this, but what the Hell. You’ve earned it.”

Luigi smiled broadly as Morty dropped the elevator button into his palm.

“Maybe we’ll see each other sometime,” said Morty before retreating to his office.

Luigi watched him go before holding up the elevator button. “I’m a star!” he cheered.

“Yes, you are, Luigi,” said Gooigi. “Yes, you are.”

Luigi slipped the elevator button into his pocket and headed over to Morty’s office, where he poked his head inside.

“They probably saw you give me the elevator button,” he warned. “You need to be careful.”

Morty, hard at work, held up a finger. “Please, don’t disturb me at this time,” he said. “The editing process requires my absolute attention!”

“All right,” said Luigi. “I’ll come back when you’re done.”

“Thank you,” said Morty, and then Luigi withdrew.

“You’re not gonna…?” asked Gooigi when Luigi rejoined him.

“Why? He willingly gave us the elevator button,” said Luigi. “All he wanted in return was for us to star in his film. Not all ghosts are mean, you know.” He’d learned that lesson back in Evershade Valley. “It’s best to just leave him be.”

“Okay,” said Gooigi.

Luigi slung an arm around Gooigi, and the two of them walked toward the elevator.


	24. What's New, Pussycat?

_Aw, that was nice of Morty, giving up the next elevator button after giving Luigi a chance to be a star._

_Thank God, not all of the ghosts here are out to end his game. I hope Luigi doesn’t capture him._

_He won’t. He’s letting him finish his movie._

_What about after? How do you know that he’s not gonna tell those two psychos on Luigi?_

_Morty doesn’t look like a tattletale to me. How about you guys?_

_No, he doesn’t._

_No, I don’t think so._

_Hey, guys! Guys! I’m the next floor up! He’s gonna get me out of here—and not a moment too soon!_

_That’s great!_

_Yeah! Thad’s with the Professor, worried sick about me, and I bet he’ll be relieved to see me still in one piece._

_Soon we’ll be free. Just you wait. He’s working his way back to us—one loved one at a time._

**…**

“That was _so_ fun!” giggled Luigi as he, Gooigi and Polterpup boarded the elevator. “Alright—having to fight a monster scared me a little, but man! Someone like _me_ in a movie? I could only dream about that until now!”

“You’d be a perfect leading man,” said Gooigi. “Morty was right when he said that your face was perfect for the big screen. Give it some time, and soon, every director will want to work with you!”

“That would be so nice,” said Luigi, “but I’ll worry about that later. Right now…”

He lifted the elevator button and watched it screw into place. “I wonder what’s on _this_ floor,” he said as he reached out to press the button.

Suddenly, however, there was a hissing sound, and a ghostly kitten leaped out of the elevator panel, the elevator button in her jaws. Gracefully, the ghost kitty landed on the floor, giving Luigi a haughty look.

This ghostly kitty was purple, with two light blue eyes and three tails. A small string of white pearls was around her neck, and there was an air of smugness about her. She perched there for a while, staring at Luigi, still holding the elevator button in her mouth. Then, with an evil grin, she swallowed the button whole.

“No, no, no!” chided Luigi. “Bad kitty!”

The kitty smirked as if to say, “So there!”, before strutting out of the elevator.

“Hey!” Luigi exclaimed, giving pursuit.

Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup followed the paranormal kitty down the corridor and into the studio’s main soundstage. Like the paranormal puppy before her, he could uncover the kitty’s paw prints with the DLD. In no time flat, the trio tracked her down to the firefighter set, using the TV teleporter to get there.

“Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,” Luigi said softly as he scoured the small soundstage. “It’s okay, Polterkitty. I won’t hurt you. I just want the elevator button.”

“Polterkitty?” asked Gooigi.

“That’s what I decided to call her,” explained Luigi.

Polterpup made an agitated noise.

“Hey,” Luigi said soothingly. “I’m not replacing you with her, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Not quite convinced, Polterpup stretched out on the ground. Unhesitatingly, Luigi dropped to his knees and rubbed the puppy’s belly, whispering apologies in his ear.

_That_ convinced Polterpup, and he licked Luigi’s cheek in forgiveness.

“I don’t even like her,” said Luigi, rubbing noses with the ghost doggie. “At least I could tell that you just wanted to play when we first met. But Polterkitty—I think she really wants to cause trouble.”

As Luigi continued to scan the area with the DLD, a Goob armed with a broom caught him by surprise! They were quickly joined by a small team of Mini Goobs, plus a few more Goobs armed with props such as flashlights, golf clubs, firefighter helmets, cowboy hats and even a lobster. Using his Burst and his Suction Shot where needed, Luigi mowed his way through the ghosts, slamming them this way and that. The Mini Goobs were surprisingly tough, since they liked to slip under his shirt and tickle him to their hearts’ content. Eventually, though, he was able to shake them off and capture them.

“Luigi! I found her!” exclaimed Gooigi as he located Polterkitty under a bench.

The gooey ghost hunter flashed Polterkitty with the Strobulb. She froze for a few seconds—before transforming into a panther-like beast, snarling and swiping her claws.

Polterpup stared enviously at her.

“Look out!” cried Luigi, pushing Gooigi behind him.

In response, Polterkitty turned and leaped atop one of the building facades.

“Turn around,” whispered Gooigi. “She won’t approach unless you’re looking away from her.”

“How do you know that?” asked Luigi.

Gooigi shrugged.

The two faced away from Polterkitty, hearing her hiss and snarl as she stalked toward them.

“Easy—easy,” said Gooigi as Luigi’s grip tightened on his vacuum.

They could feel the cat-beast’s breath on the backs of their necks.

“Steady…” said Gooigi.

Luigi’s heart beat faster and faster.

“And—now!”

Luigi whirled on Polterkitty, stunning her with the Strobulb and catching one of her tails in the suction. His pulse was wild against his neck as he slammed her down over and over. Finally, the tail was sucked into the Poltergust, and then Polterkitty turned back to normal and fled.

“We’ll—have to—suck up—all three—tails,” Luigi said between heaving breaths. “Let’s—get—after—her.”

He took off running, and Gooigi scooped up Polterpup and ran after him.

They returned to the main soundstage, where Polterkitty was prancing around the _cat_ walk (no pun intended). Luigi hopped onto a nearby freight lift, and Gooigi spun a wheel to hoist the freight upward. After carefully stepping onto the catwalk, the man in green charged the Strobulb and nailed Polterkitty with another flash. She recoiled, and then turned back into the cat-beast, but just as Luigi and Gooigi braced themselves for another fight—she shrank back to normal and phased into the floor.

“Where’d she go?” Luigi demanded as he ran over.

Gooigi joined him. “Garden Suites,” he said. “C’mon!”

They left the main soundstage, headed toward the elevator.

“What’s going on out there?” Morty’s voice asked.

“Just some cat trouble!” Luigi called back without breaking stride.

Just as the adventurers exited the main soundstage, several violet balls materialized, floating around them.

“What are those?” asked Luigi. “Are they supposed to be Spirit Balls?”

He got his answer when the balls flew into a trash bin, turning the innocuous object into a growling, sentient trashcan with glowing eyes, which promptly attacked him and Gooigi, stomping after them and snapping its jaws.

Luigi saw the circular shape on the trash bin’s front and quickly fired a plunger at it, pulling it taut and then slamming the malevolent trashcan onto the floor. As it lay there, dazed, Gooigi and Luigi shone their Dark Lights on it, drawing out the Spirit Balls and vacuuming them up.

“Holy f—ing God,” gasped Luigi when they were finished. “Remind me to tell the Professor about this later.”

“Okay,” said Gooigi.

They reached the elevator and pressed the call button. The doors opened, and two Goobs armed with flashlights surged out, engaging the pair. After a brief but heated fight, the Goobs were captured, and Luigi and Gooigi took the elevator to the seventh floor.

Back in the Garden Suites, the duo moved in silence, skimming over everything with their Dark Light Devices. Polterkitty’s paw prints led them to the spacious room where they’d battled Dr. Potter and Audrey earlier, and the first thing they noticed was some sort of beehive dangling from the large blue stalk. It was shuddering violently, and what sounded like buzzing and chattering could be heard from within.

“This doesn’t look good,” opined Gooigi.

The duo ran toward the stairwell, only for the hive to snap off the stalk and shatter on the floor, releasing a score of Mini Goobs.

“Definitely not good,” said Luigi.

The Mini Goobs closed in at once, tickling Luigi and Gooigi on their sides, chests, bellies and lower backs. The duo’s laughter rang throughout the large hall, which only spurred the Mini Goobs’ efforts. When Polterpup arrived on the scene, his urgent barking distracted the tiny ghosts, allowing Gooigi and Luigi to fend them off with Burst. After clearing out all of the Mini Goobs, the duo sat together against a wall, composing themselves.

“How are you even ticklish?” asked Luigi.

“I just am,” said Gooigi. “Look—about what happened earlier in your hotel suite…”

“Gooigi…”

“Just hear me out, okay? I didn’t know what I was thinking. We’re supposed to be brothers, and brothers don’t act like that around each other. Even though we’re not blood-related…” Gooigi paused. “Before now, the only human contact I’ve had is with a diminutive old man who seems to see me only as a means to an end. And ever since all this began, you don’t see me as just the help. You see _me_ —the _real_ me—inside. We’re trapped together with your friends in this godforsaken hotel with ghosts who want to hurt us, and you need me, and I need you, and—oh, Luigi. I look at you and—I feel so many things.”

Luigi smiled at Gooigi. “I was lonely the first two times I had to do this,” he said, “so I appreciate the company. I have someone to talk to, to vent to—to have my back and to ask me if I’m okay after a tough fight. We’re in for the long haul, so we’re gonna wind up knowing each other more personally before this night is over. When I finally confront that psycho and his new girlfriend, I’ll need you at my side.”

He opened his arms, and Gooigi moved into them. “Once more, unto the fray,” he said.

Once they settled down from all that tickling, the duo continued their search. In one of the overgrown bedrooms, they found Polterkitty, hiding in the closet. When she leaped out of her hiding spot, Gooigi stunned her with the Strobulb, Luigi following up with a second flash. Instantly, Polterkitty transformed into that spectral cat-beast, the two adventurers standing stock still as she slunk towards them.

As Polterkitty raised her claws to strike, Luigi whirled and stopped her in her tracks with another Strobulb flash. After four hefty slams, he vacuumed up her second tail, causing her to hiss at him and flee into the bathroom.

“Your timing is spot-on,” said Gooigi.

“Practice makes perfect,” said Luigi.

In the bathroom, the two vacuumed up the piles of rose petals while remaining on the lookout for the paranormal feline. When Gooigi jostled one pile with Burst, it startled Polterkitty out of hiding, and she leaped out of the window before either ghost hunter could give chase.

“Where did she come from, anyway?” asked Gooigi.

“I have no idea,” replied Luigi, “but we’re at a dead end unless we catch up to her.”

They ran up the stairwell until they reached the other bedroom, where Luigi quickly grabbed a nearby buzzsaw and started tearing away at everything in sight.

“I think you’re enjoying that a little too much,” Gooigi said a little nervously.

“Why not? It helps me let off some steam,” said Luigi.

Eventually, he set down the buzzsaw and wiped his forehead. “No sign of her here,” he said. “Let’s search the bathroom.”

But just as he was about to open the door, a red ghost with a two-pronged light blue tongue grabbed him around the ankle and hoisted him aloft!

As the tongue’s other prong lashed against Luigi’s backside, Gooigi ran up and flashed the ghost with the Strobulb, dislodging the tongue from Luigi. The man in green managed to land on his feet, and after exchanging a nod with Gooigi, they grabbed each prong of the ghost’s tongue and heaved them overhead, defeating them with one slam.

“That one,” said Luigi, “I’ll call a Trapper.”

They walked into the bathroom with the watermelons, where they noticed Polterkitty curled up in the bathtub, her eyes closed. Together, Gooigi and Luigi swung the largest watermelon into the tub, rousing her.

Luigi turned on the faucet, knowing that cats hated water. As the water level rose, Polterkitty paddled wildly, yowling, and took a Strobulb flash to the face. Growling, she turned back into the panther-like cat-beast, shattering the bathtub and stalking toward Luigi and Gooigi for the third and hopefully final time.

As Polterkitty reared up to strike, Luigi released another Strobulb charge, freezing her in place. And then he relentlessly slammed the spectral feline into the ground until he vacuumed up her remaining tail.

At this, Polterkitty seemed to know that she was beat. Glowering at Luigi, she coughed the elevator button back up like a hairball and retreated. The man in green picked up the elevator button and wiped it off before sliding it into his pocket.

“She’ll be back,” he realized. “We’d better stay alert.”

As he, Gooigi and Polterpup headed back toward the elevator, Gooigi’s body started wiggling.

“A Boo’s nearby,” said Gooigi. “I’ll lead the way.”

Luigi and Polterpup followed Gooigi to the first overgrown bedroom, where the gooey ghost hunter pointed toward one of the large jugs.

“In here,” he said.

Luigi lightly tapped the jar, and the Boo flew out, cackling.

“They call me Bootanist,” they said. “It looks like you found me!”

Luigi stunned Bootanist before subduing them in the usual way.

“Thanks, Gooigi,” he said when he was finished.

“No problem,” Gooigi replied.

The adventurers walked the rest of the way to the elevator, where they fitted the new elevator button into place.

“Unnatural History Museum?” mused Gooigi as he and Luigi stared at the layout. “Well, I’ve always wanted to tour a museum.”

Luigi nodded. “But before we go there—how about we check on Morty? He’s probably finished editing his movie by now.”

“Sure,” said Gooigi.

They took the elevator back up to Paranormal Productions, where they went straightaway to the main soundstage. But the second they pushed through the double doors, Gooigi started to jiggle again.

“There’s a Boo here, isn’t there?” asked Luigi.

Gooigi nodded.

Luigi recalled Gooigi to his tank, enjoying the sensation of his gooey bro vibrating against his back as it guided him like a compass. The vibrations really picked up when he entered the horror set, and they seemed the most intense when he was near one of the black equipment boxes. Slowly, he opened the box, and the Boo popped out with a giggle.

“I’m the Booducer!” chortled the Boo. “I can get a table anywhere I want!”

The Boo leered at Luigi before disappearing, the latter quickly smoking them out with the DLD. Over the next few minutes, the man in green slammed the Boo all around the set, not stopping until they were in the Poltergust where they belonged.

Luigi stood for a second, catching his breath, before heading over to Morty’s office.

“Hey, Morty?” he said, knocking on the door. “It’s Luigi!”

“Come in!” said Morty.

Luigi walked inside to find Morty reclined in a chair, hands clasped behind his head and a look of accomplishment on his face.

“At last, my masterpiece is complete,” said Morty. “Filled with gripping action, dripping with emotion and packed with suspense! If this isn’t the very definition of true art, then what is?”

Luigi turned toward the projector and gently blew on it with his vacuum. Then, he sat next to Morty as the film began to roll.

Tense music played as the movie faded in on a quiet “city” at night. The camera then panned over to Luigi, appearing giant thanks to the miniaturized set, cautiously moving down the streets and apologizing each time he inadvertently knocked down a “car”. A roar sounded, and then there was the “monster” he’d fought earlier, wreaking havoc. The two “giants” came face-to-face, and the “city” became their battleground.

“Wow,” whispered Luigi as he watched himself, later joined by Gooigi, battling the “monster”, dodging its attacks and ultimately defeating it using its own energy balls. “I _do_ look great on film.”

Morty chuckled and slung his arm around Luigi as he watched his leading man and his doppelganger finish off the “monster”. The movie concluded on a freeze-frame of the victorious pair, pumping their fists in celebration.

Morty sniffled. “That’s our baby,” he said through tears.

“Yeah,” Luigi said softly. “Yeah, it is.”

“Where are you headed now?” asked Morty.

“On another adventure,” said Luigi. “I’d let you come along with me, but…”

“Ah, nonsense,” said Morty. “My place is here, in my studio, with my cast and crew. But I wish you good luck.”

“Thanks, Morty.” Luigi fetched a pad and pencil and scribbled something onto it before tearing off the paper and handing it to the ghostly director. “Here’s my cell phone number. I don’t have any reception right now, but maybe when this adventure’s over…” Shyly, the plumber held an imaginary phone to his ear. “Call me.”

A delighted smile spread across Morty’s face. “Sure,” he said. “We’ll do lunch sometime.”

“See ya round, Morty,” Luigi said softly.

“See ya.”

Luigi exited Morty’s office and strode over to the elevators, where he let Gooigi out of his tank.

“Okeydokey,” he said. “It’s time to explore a museum.”


	25. Tonight You Belong to Me

_He’s on my floor now, you guys! He’s coming to get me!_

_Awesome! How are you holding up?_

_Not too great. I’m in the Unnatural History Museum, and the ghost I was “gifted” to is giving me the creeps. Plus, there’s this big T-Rex, and I don’t like the look of it. I hope Luigi’s ready._

_I know he is, Brad. He’ll always fight his way out of these situations._

_A museum, huh? Wow, this place has everything._

_Yeah. Too bad it’s haunted—and meant to trap all of us!_

**…**

“Welcome to the Unnatural History Museum,” said Luigi, mimicking a docent as he stepped out of the elevator, Gooigi and Polterpup behind him. “The tour is about to begin. Remember to stay with your buddy.”

“Wow—that’s pretty good,” said Gooigi.

“Thanks,” said Luigi.

The Unnatural History Museum was relatively small, sporting exhibits of bones, flowers and fossilized eggs. There were also display cases holding coins and gems, and since the surfaces weren’t round or smooth enough, Luigi and Gooigi couldn’t knock them over with the Suction Shot. Outside, a thunderstorm rolled in as the two explored the museum.

Luigi jumped slightly at a crackling sound over the museum’s PA system. King Boo’s evil laugh echoed from all around, and then a creepy version of “Tonight You Belong to Me” began to play. The windows were briefly illuminated by a flash of lightning, adding to the ominous atmosphere. Holding onto his vacuum like a lifeline, Luigi took several deep breaths—and then his head snapped up.

“One of my friends is being held in this museum,” he said.

“How do you know…?” frowned Gooigi.

“I can feel it,” said Luigi. His eyes sparkled with urgency. “Follow me—I think I know where he is.”

He almost sprinted over to a red and gold curtain with two tassels, grabbing onto one while Gooigi grabbed the other. Yanking on the tassels, they pulled the curtain open, revealing another, huge exhibit hall with a giant T-Rex as the centerpiece.

And next to that T-Rex—was Brad.

_Luigi! You made it!_

“Of course, Brad,” Luigi said softly. “Of course.”

He ran into the exhibit hall, paying no attention to the other dinosaur skeletons around him. All he could see was the imprisoned Toad, his mouth open in a scream or a shout, some bruises mottling his face and arms.

“Brad,” he breathed as he approached Brad’s portrait. “I’m here. I’m gonna get you out of there.”

He activated the DLD and shone it on Brad’s painting, watching as the blue-spotted Toad slowly became colorized. So focused was he on freeing Brad that he was unaware of the shadow passing over him.

_Luigi! Luigi, look out!!_

There was a low growl, and Luigi slowly turned to see the T-Rex skeleton looming over him. A strange, pinkish glow was inside its ribcage, and Luigi’s first thought was that the skeleton was being possessed. Like he needed another possessor ghost to deal with. Wolfgeist and his piano was bad enough.

The T-Rex reared back and released a roar, blowing Luigi’s hair back and nearly tearing his hat off his head. And as the skeleton’s jaws came at him, he reacted quickly, grabbing Gooigi and Polterpup and tackling them out of the way. He hit the ground, rolled to his knees and stood, seeing the T-Rex with Brad’s painting in its jaws.

“Don’t you dare!” shouted Luigi, but the T-Rex ignored him, swallowing Brad’s painting whole before getting right in the plumber’s face and unleashing another mighty roar.

Once he composed himself, Luigi brandished the Poltergust. He was gonna get Brad out of this monstrous situation if it was the last thing he ever did!

The T-Rex jumped up and down a few times, making the ground shake and causing two fossilized eggs to drop down. Glancing at the strange glow on the T-Rex’s chest, Luigi knew exactly how to defeat it. He raced toward the first egg he saw and stuck it onto his nozzle, only for the T-Rex to snatch him up! Luckily, he broke free using Burst before substantial damage could be done.

Luigi took a deep breath and tried again, moving quickly. This time, he successfully grabbed the egg and evaded the T-Rex’s snapping jaws. Gooigi, meanwhile, had grabbed the second egg, and now he smiled at Luigi.

“Allow me,” he said before releasing his egg.

The egg landed right between the T-Rex’s jaws, and as the large dinosaur struggled with it, Luigi steadied his breathing, took careful aim and let his own egg fly. It smashed directly into the T-Rex’s ribcage, making it recoil in shock. Shock turned to anger, and it let out a roar powerful enough to decimate one of the skeletons hanging nearby. Unfortunately, this skeleton had provided our heroes with one of the eggs.

“Now what?” Luigi wondered aloud as the T-Rex stomped and roared, sending debris raining down on him and Gooigi.

Without a second egg to distract the T-Rex, the two adventurers would be left to the mercy of those horrible jaws.

Unless—

“Don’t throw in the towel yet, Luigi!” shouted Gooigi. “I’ll handle this!”

Squaring his shoulders, Gooigi strode toward the T-Rex.

“Hey! What in the Inferno are you doing?!” Luigi yelled after him. “Get back here!”

Gooigi paid him no mind, staring bravely at the T-Rex. “Hey, Rexy!” he exclaimed.

The T-Rex glared down at the gooey humanoid.

“Do you have any idea how many of you were killed by a falling rock?!” taunted Gooigi. “You are nothing but a figurehead of lost history, condemned to be ogled at by a bunch of grade-school children, you bleached pile of bones!”

The T-Rex snarled at Gooigi.

“Eat me!” Gooigi practically shrieked at him. “ _EAT ME!!!_ ”

“Gooigi!!” hollered Luigi as the T-Rex obliged, the jaws smashing shut around Gooigi and beginning to grind into the gooey membrane.

The man in green’s blood boiled at the sight of the abuse his gooey brother was taking.

“HEY!!” he screamed at the T-Rex, grabbing the lone fossilized egg and launching it at the T-Rex.

The T-Rex’s jaws flew open on impact, dropping Gooigi to the floor with a wet _splat_. The gooey ghost hunter lay in a heap, the matter composing him beginning to reform.

“Oh, my God! Gooigi!” Luigi cried out, rushing to Gooigi’s side.

“Don’t worry about me,” Gooigi burbled out. “Just save—Brad.”

Luigi swung back toward the T-Rex as it broke free of its stand. Instantly, his vacuum was back in his firm grip, his body planted protectively in front of Gooigi.

“I said not to worry about me!” snapped Gooigi. “I’ll be back to full health in no time!”

“I won’t let this monster manhandle you again!” Luigi snapped back.

“It’s not after me—it’s after _you_!” exclaimed Gooigi. “Now _go_!”

Unwillingly, Luigi took off as the T-Rex stomped and stormed after him, destroying the other skeletons and displays as it went. It attacked with headbutts and swipes from its paws and tail, making Luigi stumble by stomping on the ground and then knocking him all around the exhibit hall. However, the image of Brad’s face was enough to keep the pain at bay. Running in a zigzag pattern to confuse his pursuer, Luigi vacuumed up pieces of the wrecked displays and launched them at the T-Rex, the debris chipping away at its ribcage. While his full attention was on the possessed skeleton, he kept Gooigi in his line of vision, watching his gooey bro drag himself to relative safety behind a long table on which some smaller displays rested.

Keeping the T-Rex’s attention solely on him, Luigi fired off projectile after projectile at its ribcage until it shattered completely, the entire skeleton falling apart and hitting the floor in a useless pile. Luigi didn’t allow himself a break, however, as the ghost possessing the T-Rex emerged from the pile. This ghost had a golden hue and wore a tunic made out of tiger pelt. He floated there for a few moments, dazed and dizzy, before his glowing eyes focused on the man in green.

“You wanna play rough?” he growled. “Okay, then!”

The hulking caveman ghost reached into the pile of bones and pulled out one at random, wielding it like a club. “Say hello to Ug’s little friend!”

Laughing madly, Ug swung the heavy bone club at Luigi, but he leaped and dodged clear of most, if not all, of the swings. Some of those swings produced shock waves, and Ug would have a tough time unsticking his club from the ground afterward. After observing this, Luigi immediately formed a battle strategy—evade the swings as best he could, Burst over the shockwave and turn the tide when Ug was trying to unstick his club. It was easier said than done, of course. But it would be done.

_I’m coming, Brad,_ he thought as he stunned Ug, heaving and slamming him all over the exhibit hall. _I’m coming._

During the raging battle, Gooigi had almost completely recovered. Presently, he shouted encouragement at the man in green as he held his own against the larger and stronger Ug, smashing him into the displays on the table and taking some blows from the bone club, but still getting up.

“Come along, green man—Ug’s not gonna hurt you,” cooed Ug. “Little green man—light of Ug’s life—Ug’s not gonna hurt you. You didn’t let Ug finish, green man, Ug just said Ug’s not gonna hurt you. Ug’s just gonna smash you into green paste on the floor. That’s all Ug’s gonna do. After all, all work and no play makes Ug a dull boy!”

Ug continued to bring his bone club smashing down, spouting out one-liners from classic movies as he did.

“How are you even aware of these movies?” quipped Luigi. “They came into vogue long after you were dead.”

“That’s because Ug’s been on display in many different museums since then,” Ug retorted. “Ug gets to teach little kids about natural history, and that makes Ug feel good!”

Ug slammed his club down, Luigi dodging the resulting shockwave and stunning him before he could attack again.

“How about eating one of my friends, who’s helpless and stuck in a portrait? Is _that_ part of your repertoire?” Luigi wanted to know.

But he didn’t wait for an answer, slamming Ug down again and again and again. It felt good slamming these ghosts around, especially those menacing him, harming Gooigi and otherwise giving him a hard time. His skin was hot, and sweat drops got in his eyes, but he kept at it, thinking about Brad and how frazzled he might be right now.

The heated battle went on for ten more minutes before Ug was finally defeated. As Luigi wrestled him into the vacuum, the caveman ghost’s own bone club did him in, smacking him on the head and knocking him inside the Poltergust. Once Ug was captured, the nozzle shuddered, ejecting Brad’s painting.

Adrenaline still roaring through him, Luigi braced his palms against the long table before allowing his body to slump against it, eventually collapsing to a seated position. Gooigi and Polterpup dashed over as he checked himself for injuries. Save for the bruises inflicted by the bone club and from the T-Rex smacking him around, he wasn’t hurt _too_ badly. He sat there for a moment, staring at Brad’s painting and only thinking, _He’s safe, he’s safe, he’s safe._

Gooigi’s touch brought him back, and he saw Polterpup nuzzling against his hand, whining. Quickly, Luigi gathered his puppy into his arms, again burying his face against Polterpup’s “fur”.

“Luigi,” Gooigi was saying. “Luigi…”

In an instant, Luigi whirled on him. “Are you out of your mind?!” he shouted. “What in God’s name were you thinking?!”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” Gooigi fired back.

“I saw you there on the ground, and I just…” Luigi shook his head, as if to clear away the memory. “Don’t ever do that again, do you hear me?! Don’t ever do that again!”

“I make no promises,” said Gooigi. “Danger is afoot, and I _will_ protect you from it, whether you like it or not.”

Luigi accepted the response, leaning his head against Gooigi’s shoulder as his doppelganger rubbed comforting circles into his back.

Finally, Luigi regained enough composure to stand up and walk toward Brad’s painting. Polterpup and Gooigi stood back a respectful distance as the man in green shone the DLD on the portrait, the multicolored beam slowly drawing Brad from his prison.

When Brad rolled out of his painting and onto the ground, he didn’t know which way was up. He didn’t know where he was or how he got there. All he was conscious of was a round, smooth object in his hand, and so he concentrated on that, his mind desperately searching for something to anchor itself upon.

_This object—what is it? Why does it say “B2”? What does it mean?_

Brad rolled to a stop and squeezed his eyes shut, endeavoring to pinpoint more sources of familiarity. His ears registered the sound of ragged breathing—ragged breathing that wasn’t his own. Someone was in this room with him. Who was it? A friend, or a foe? Who was there? What did they want?

If his mind could stop spinning, then it would be a miracle.

Next, Brad concentrated on the floor beneath him. Smooth, marble. Something soft was on his mushroom cap, stroking his cheek. A hand. Gloved. Wait—a gloved hand? _That_ was familiar. Okay—progress. Now, let’s use the rest of the five senses to pinpoint more familiar things.

Someone was kneeling over him, kneeling over him as he lay there on the smooth, marble floor holding this smooth, round object that said “B2”. Someone was holding him, talking to him, telling him that everything would be all right as he was lifted off the floor and placed onto something soft. _Follow that voice_ , Brad told himself. _Follow that voice, and see if it’s a voice you recognize._

And he _did_ recognize the voice. Soft, a bit shaky, accented. Breathy. Okay—getting warmer. A familiar voice, a familiar touch. Two senses down, three to go.

“Brad—Brad—open your eyes. Please. Look at me, Brad. Look at me…”

Slowly, Brad willed himself to open his eyes and study the person addressing him. The first thing his eyes registered were colors. Green, blue, red, brown. Then, the colors shaped themselves into a green cap, slightly disheveled brown hair, kind, blue eyes and an angular face, flushed and sweaty.

And the smile. Brad started intently at the smile beneath that double-swooshed moustache. And then more details swam into focus. The blue eyes were dilated, and the face was festooned with fading and new bruises, yet still quite handsome. Sweat beaded along the forehead, brow and cheeks and trailed lazily down towards the chin, and the ragged breathing steadied. Now that the face was in focus, Brad concentrated on the rest of this familiar fellow. Green shirt? Check. Blue coveralls? Check. Red vacuum cleaner on his back? Check. An “L” on that green cap? Check, check and check.

Three out of five senses were all it took for Brad’s mind to right itself. He knew _exactly_ where he was now—in the safety and security of Luigi’s arms. He also realized that he was currently in Luigi’s lap, his head resting against his chest, listening to a gradually slowing heartbeat.

Brad stared up at his rescuer. “L—Lu—Luigi?” he finally spoke.

Luigi smiled that warm smile, holding him and calming him. “Hey, Brad,” he said. “You got something for me?”

_What?_ Brad thought, but then he remembered that smooth, round object with “B2” written on it.

“This?” he asked, holding it up.

Luigi nodded, and Brad placed the object into the former’s waiting palm.

“That’s an elevator button,” Brad realized.

“Yep. And I need to collect more of them to keep exploring this hotel,” said Luigi.

As soon as Luigi slipped the elevator button into his pocket, Brad hugged him. Luigi hugged him right back, seeking to provide the Toad with as much comfort as possible.

“Brad—it’s all right. It’s okay,” Luigi said softly. “You’re okay. You’re okay…”

“Luigi—thank God for you,” said Brad. “That’s all I can say.”

The two remained in each other’s arms until Gadd’s voice broke the moment.

“Is that Brad?” asked Gadd.

“Yup,” replied Luigi.

“All right! You’ve saved another one of your friends!” laughed Gadd. “Bring him to the Lab, and I’ll make sure he stays safe and sound.”

“I’m on my way,” said Luigi before hanging up. Then, he turned to Brad. “Ready to get going?”

“You know I am!” laughed Brad.

Luigi and Brad got to their feet, the latter noticing Gooigi.

“Oh, hey there!” he said. “Where did you come from?”

“Professor Gadd’s mind,” replied Gooigi.

“Fair enough,” said Brad.

Luigi took Brad’s hand, and they walked out of the now-decimated exhibit hall. 

On their way back to the elevator, Brad helped Luigi break the display cases, collecting the gold and gems hidden within. When they were finished, the two high-fived, called the elevator and stepped inside.

The elevator button fitted itself into place, the VB display identifying the new floor as the Boilerworks. Luigi then pressed the “B1” button and settled back as the elevator began its descent. He picked a calming playlist on his Spotify and invited Brad to listen to it with him, who quickly accepted.

Brad yawned a little once the elevator reached its destination, and Luigi hoisted him onto his hip, carrying him to the Lab.

“Brad!” Thad exclaimed when Luigi walked inside. “Thank God you’re all right!”

“Hey, Thad,” Brad said sleepily as the two hugged.

Gadd rolled out another sleeping bag, a blue one, and placed a pillow in front of it. Flashing the Professor a grateful smile, Brad hopped into the sleeping bag and was asleep within seconds.

“Are you doing all right, L?” asked Thad.

“Yeah,” said Luigi, taking the opportunity to empty the Poltergust.

“You’re pretty bruised up,” said Thad.

Luigi shrugged. “Part of the job,” he said. “Are _you_ doing all right?”

“Yeah. The Professor and I are just—talking.”

“Great,” beamed Luigi. Turning to Gooigi and Polterpup, he said, “Let’s get going.”

“Luigi…!” Gadd started to say, but the man in green had already turned on his heel and determinedly strode away.

**…**

“Before we explore the Boilerworks,” said Luigi, “we’d better head back to the Unnatural History Museum. There might be a Boo hiding around in there.”

“Good point,” said Gooigi.

They took the elevator back up to the museum, where Gooigi began to vibrate and jiggle at once. Taking charge, Gooigi led Luigi and Polterpup to the large exhibit hall, where several easels under white sheets stood in rows.

“The Boo’s hiding in one of these easels,” said Gooigi, his voice vibrating along with his body. He fluidly moved down each row, pausing at each of the easels for about five seconds, the vibration fluctuating as he went. Finally, Gooigi pointed a wiggling finger at one of the easels. “This one.”

Luigi yanked away the sheet covering the easel, revealing a portrait of a Boo. The Boo then emerged from the portrait, licking out his tongue at the two ghost hunters.

“My name is Boones!” cackled the Boo. “You just dug up a heap of trouble!”

Gooigi and Luigi shone their Dark Lights on Boones, and then Luigi grabbed the Boo’s tongue before rapidly slamming them into the ground. He continued with this until he managed to yank Boones into the Poltergust.

“You might wanna take it easy there, L,” said Gooigi.

“Why?” asked Luigi. “They’ve caused me nothing but misery.”

“Yeah, I know, but…” Gooigi sighed. “I guess those tiny squeaks are getting to me a little.”

“Don’t let their cuteness fool you,” cautioned Luigi. “Boos are black-hearted little monsters, and I’m their favorite target. I’ve always wanted to slam them around for as long as I can remember.”

“Makes sense,” said Gooigi.

After Luigi grabbed a drink of water from a nearby fountain, the Virtual Boo rang.

“Yello?” he answered, wiping his mouth.

“Pat yourself on the back, Luigi!” said Gadd. “You’re halfway through—over the hump! Just three more people to rescue!”

“I’ll pat myself on the back once they’re all safe,” said Luigi.

“I knew you’d say something like that,” mused Gadd. “Anyway—good luck with the remainder of your exploration!”

“Okeydokey—bye-bye,” said Luigi, hanging up and striding over to the elevator with Gooigi and Polterpup not far behind.

**…**

Hellen was incredulous as she saw Luigi on her security monitor, standing before the elevator with a look of accomplishment on his features. Save for some bruises and lacerations, he was still on his feet. For some reason, he had the ghosts who’d confronted him so far on the ropes.

With a growl, Hellen slammed the armrests of her chair, causing the startled Polterkitty to jump off her lap.

“God—m you, Luigi!” bellowed Hellen. “Why won’t you die?!”

She turned and saw two Goobs hovering before her desk, frozen.

“What are you looking at?!” she spat, pounding the desk with both fists. “Get the [bleep] out!”

The two Goobs obliged, and Hellen swung back to her monitors, glowering at Luigi’s image with extreme hate.

“I’ll get you,” she vowed, “and I’ll paint my penthouse walls with your blood—two coats!”


	26. Riders in the Sky

_Brad had every right to be frazzled. That caveman ghost was_ terrifying _! Did you see the way he possessed that T-Rex?_

_He nearly tore Gooigi to shreds and flung my poor bro around like a ragdoll—it’s a miracle he’s still standing. But who would’ve thought of using those eggs, huh? I have such a resourceful little brother._

_Yes, you do. But now, he’s headed toward the Boilerworks. I really don’t like the sound of that place._

_Me, neither. It’s only gonna get more perilous from here. Knowing him, he’s gonna knuckle tight, but—_

_I know. I know._

**…**

“We’re in the bowels of the Last Resort,” said Luigi as he, Gooigi and Polterpup disembarked. With the orange glow emanating from grated windows and the steam rising from various places, it was as if they’d arrived in the pits of Hell—Luigi’s personal Hell, that is. And he’d fight his way through his personal Hell and claw his way out if it meant freeing his loved ones from a worse Hell.

Soft snoring pulled Luigi out of his thoughts, and after some thorough vacuuming, he and Gooigi walked down a hall to find a purple-hued ghost reclined against a workbench, fast asleep. The ghost was clad in a dirty white shirt and worn blue coveralls, with a dirty blue-and-white baseball cap covering his eyes. His hands were clasped behind his head, but Luigi could see that the ghost was wearing green gloves.

Turning to Gooigi and Polterpup, Luigi put a finger to his lips. Then, the trio slowly tiptoed forward.

All was going well until Luigi accidentally stepped on a rubber duckie, which gave a loud squeak.

The ghost reached up and pulled his baseball cap from over his eyes, one eye peeping open, closely followed by the other. His eyes slid over Luigi, and then Gooigi, and then Polterpup. And a crafty smile slowly formed on his lips.

“Well, howdy do?” the ghost asked in a distinctive Southern drawl. “Name’s Clem, and I’m the sheriff around these parts. Now, how can I help you?”

“Sorry to intrude, Clem,” said Luigi, “but I heard there was a leak somewhere around here, and I’ve come to fix it.”

“Mmm-hmm—now I see what you look like when you’re lying,” Clem said lazily, again looking Luigi over. “Now let’s see what you look like when you’re telling the truth.” He grinned. “Bet fixing a leak doesn’t require a vacuum, hm?”

“Wha? Oh, I…”

“S’alright, s’alright,” Clem said disarmingly. “Everybody lies sometimes. I tend to do so, too. But I’m looking at your getup, and I can’t help but wonder—are you a mechanic, too?”

“I was,” said Luigi, “but I’m a plumber now.”

“Plumber, huh? Well, there’s lots of pipes around here,” said Clem, “but I know you’re not here to clean some pipes, and you’re definitely not here to gawk at my rubber duckies. You’re here—for _this_ little guy.” Tantalizingly, he held up an elevator button. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yes—yes it is.”

“Well, too bad,” laughed Clem, “because this here button has an imaginary stamp on it that says, ‘Property of Clem’. Which means you can’t have it!” He floated up to a valve and turned it, watching as some pipes hanging overhead began shuddering.

Shouting out a warning, Luigi leaped between Gooigi and an oncoming spout of water, spluttering as he was sprayed directly in the face.

Clem hooted with laughter. “I just thought you needed to cool off,” he quipped. “Now scram!” On those words, he turned and phased through a door.

Luigi escaped the spout of water and looked at Gooigi. “I think the Plexiglass tank is the safest place to be at the moment,” he said.

Gooigi bit his lip, studying his flesh-and-blood counterpart. He’d taken quite a beating from Ug earlier, first when the caveman ghost was possessing the T-Rex, and then when he was chasing after him with that bone club. Who knew what Clem could do to Luigi to batter him further?

“I’ll be fine,” Luigi said softly. “There’s just—a lot of water here, and I don’t want you melting on me.”

“I need to protect you—I need to keep you safe…”

“It’s only temporary,” Luigi assured him. “When the danger has passed, I’ll let you out.”

Gooigi dropped his eyes. “Okay,” he said finally.

He gave Luigi a soft, warm, gooey hug. “Be careful,” he cautioned before reluctantly hopping into the tank.

After giving the tank a reassuring pat, Luigi walked through the door where Clem had escaped through—and was instantly beset by three Goobs armed with wrenches and wearing buckets for protection. A good Burst knocked off the buckets, and well-timed dodging and sliding helped him evade the wrench swings. After a good three-minute scuffle, Luigi captured the Goobs, and then he tangled with another group of tickle-happy Mini Goobs, followed by another wrench-wielding Goob. The man in green vacuumed them all, and then he came across a complex system of valves and pipes.

“Okay, Gooigi,” he said as he let his gooey companion out of the tank. “I need your help figuring this out.”

Gooigi beamed, and the duo set to work solving the puzzle before them. While Luigi spun the valves, Gooigi evaded the streams of water to flash his Strobulb at a green panel, activating a mechanical door.

“We did it!” cheered Luigi.

Gooigi flashed him a thumbs-up before Luigi recalled him to his tank.

Within this door was a room with lots of rushing water and a rotating walkway with a ladder mounted on top. Luigi scurried up this ladder to reach the Boilerworks’ upper level, and through a window, he saw Clem in some sort of mechanical room, hovered in front of a huge switch. Laughing, the mechanic ghost threw the switch, causing water to gush rapidly into the room.

“I _did_ warn you that it was in your best interest to skedaddle,” said Clem as he phased into the room. “Ah, well. At least you get to go for a little swim. Hop on in—the water’s fine!”

Casually, he picked up Luigi and tossed him over the edge, guffawing as the plumber splashed into the water. Luigi dog-paddled desperately, but the water level was gradually rising, and the Poltergust on his back acted like a dead weight.

“No!” he spluttered. “ _No_! I’m _not_ gonna die like this! I’m _not_ gonna die down here!”

The water was at his shoulders, at his chin, seeping into his mouth, and he was fighting valiantly but increasingly futilely to stay afloat—

—and then Polterpup effortlessly swam over, barking urgently, positioning himself beneath Luigi’s hand. Instinctively, Luigi grasped his puppy’s collar.

Gasping, Luigi held onto Polterpup like a lifeline as the latter paddled across the water with broad, practiced strokes. In minutes, the ghost doggie hoisted his master up a ladder and onto dry land.

On his knees, Luigi coughed and spluttered before emptying the water from his ears. Then, he threw his arms around Polterpup and buried his face against his “fur”.

“Good puppy!” he cried.

“Luigi—Luigi, are you all right?” asked Gadd’s voice.

“Yeah, thanks to Polterpup,” said Luigi.

“Well, the good news is that the Poltergust G-00 is waterproof,” said Gadd.

“Thank God,” said Luigi.

“But thanks to that ghost, your path is blocked,” Gadd went on. “I think you could walk along the sewer waterway and reach that switch. Give it a try!”

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi, walking through another door with his loyal ghost dog at his heels.

He explored a small control room with a coffee machine, and then he walked through another door which took him to another flooded area. A pool floatie bobbed nearby, and Luigi hopped onto it.

“Perfect,” he said. “I’ve got a motorboat of sorts now.”

He fiddled with the Poltergust until he figured out the best way to steer the floatie. While facing forwards, he’d use the vacuum function to move forward and the exhaust function to move in reverse. While facing backwards, the controls would be inverted. And if he wanted to turn, then he’d just angle the vacuum in the desired direction.

It was definitely harder than it sounded.

Obstacles such as spiked mines littered the water, which required expert and quick steering to evade. And the ease of controlling the floatie depended whether he was with or against the water flow. Luckily, there was a walkway which he could send Gooigi onto, and the duo worked in tandem to navigate the flooded Boilerworks.

Along the way, Gooigi could slide through pipes to collect treasure, spin valves and open gates for Luigi to pass through. Some of these gates had sharp spikes on them, so Gooigi couldn’t afford to dilly-dally. In order to break the tension, the ghost-fighting duo made small talk and told each other dirty jokes. Or, Luigi would play his music with the volume turned up to the max, the two of them singing along. When they encountered a situation which required utter silence and teamwork, Luigi would simply immerse himself in the sounds of rushing water—and of Gooigi’s body squishing and sliding as he slipped through this pipe and that pipe, flexing and jiggling as he snapped back into shape.

At one particular area, Luigi noticed three shark fins coming at him. His first worry was that he was about to become shark food, but then he realized that a shark would be too big to fit in the Boilerworks. Once he’d calmed down a little, he noticed that the fins had an artificial appearance. The only other explanation was that there were more ghosts about, up to no good.

With Gooigi holding open the next gate, Luigi skillfully maneuvered his way around the shark fins and into another area with valves. Here, the water was shallow, allowing him to hop off the floatie and wade into the knee-deep water. He looked up, and there was the switch Clem had thrown earlier.

His eyes swung across another network of pipes. “Okay, Gooigi,” he said. “You think you can use those pipes to get to that switch?”

“I sure can!” replied Gooigi.

A noise made Luigi turn, and he saw ripples forming across the water, headed toward him. The ripples circled him a few times before a Slinker materialized, smirking at him. Luigi didn’t miss a beat, stunning the Slinker and slamming him into submission. After the Slinker were three Mini Hammers, which were relatively easy to capture.

Next, Gooigi and Luigi set to work figuring out the system of pipes and valves, soon discovering that the valves controlled where the pipes would deposit the former. Thanks to a combination of patience and trial-and-error, Luigi helped Gooigi reach the large switch above them. After attaching a Suction Shot to it, Gooigi pulled the switch down, and he and Luigi watched as the water drained from the Boilerworks.

“Good job!” Luigi called to Gooigi.

“Thank you very much!” replied Gooigi.

Gooigi slid back through the pipes to rejoin Luigi, and the two of them hugged.

“All right—the water level is back where it was!” cheered Gadd. “Now, the two of you can get that mechanic ghost!”

“His name’s Clem,” said Luigi, “and he’s shaping up to be a tough fight.”

He and Gooigi walked back the way they came, listening to 90s and 2000s dance tunes on his phone and battling the shark-fin ghosts that had caused them trouble earlier. They also ran afoul of a treasure chest that came to life and attacked them! Once they subdued the chest by knocking a nearby soccer ball into it, they used their Dark Lights to draw out and vacuum up the purple Spirit Balls possessing it before continuing on their way.

“I meant to thank you,” Luigi told Gooigi as they walked along.

“What for?” asked Gooigi.

“What you did for me when we were fighting Ug,” clarified Luigi. “After he smashed up the display which gave us the second egg, I had no idea how we could beat him. And you volunteered to use yourself as bait to distract him. I can’t believe you’d let him do that to you—for me.”

“That first time, I saw you run for the egg, and then he grabbed you in the T-Rex’s jaws,” said Gooigi. “You escaped, but I told myself that it was better me than you. I saw you in immediate danger and just—did what I had to.”

“I was just so upset because—I thought…”

“Hey. You’ll never lose me. I’m indestructible,” smiled Gooigi.

“Gooigi, I…”

“S’okay. I know why you acted like that.” Gooigi slipped his hand into Luigi’s. “We’re in this together, no matter what. I’m part of you, and you’re part of me. Right?”

“Right,” said Luigi.

“Like the Professor said, we’re over the hump. We’re gonna battle our way through the rest of this hotel Hellhole, we’re gonna rescue our friends, and we’re gonna bring them home.”

Luigi nodded. “Whatever it takes,” he said.

“Whatever it takes,” echoed Gooigi.

“Arf!” Polterpup joined in.

“Whatever it takes,” Luigi and Gooigi said in tandem.

Hand-in-hand, they set off to confront Clem.

When they found the mechanic ghost, he was once again asleep, leaning against a pool floatie. Cautiously, the duo crept forward, only for Luigi to step on another rubber duckie, rousing Clem. The ghost peered over the railing at Luigi and shook his head.

“You are one stubborn son of a gun,” mused Clem. Touching the bill of his cap, he continued, “I tip my hat to you, my green friend. One blue-collar worker to another.”

“Thanks, I guess,” said Luigi.

“But—that elevator button is still mine,” said Clem. “Which means—you’ll have to fight me for it!”

He flew over to another switch and flipped it, Luigi recalling Gooigi to his tank just in time as the area he stood in began to flood. There was another pool floatie nearby, which Luigi shimmied onto, and he gripped his vacuum with both hands as Clem joined him with his own floatie.

“Let’s have ourselves a pool party!” laughed Clem, brandishing a paper fan.

Luigi leveled the Poltergust. “Have it your way,” he said determinedly.

And so, the battle for the next elevator button began. Clem and Luigi circled each other on their floaties, the latter aware of the spikes lining the walls around them. To compound the danger, Clem tossed mines at his opponent, which could be triggered if Luigi so much as came near them. After some harrowing near-misses, Luigi figured out how to stun Clem with his own mines, stick his floatie into the vacuum’s nozzle and then shoot him into the spikes, popping the floatie and sending him onto dry land. Hopping out of his own floatie, Luigi ran over as Clem pulled himself up, hit the mechanic ghost with a Strobulb flash and began the process of slamming him into the floor.

Clem broke free, blew up another pool floatie and jumped back into the water, inviting Luigi to join him. Luigi accepted, and the watery showdown went on for twenty or so minutes, the man in green using the mines and the spikes to cut Clem down to size. And because of his intuition, the mechanic ghost was eventually defeated. After Clem was sucked inside, the elevator button, along with some rubber duckies, popped out of the nozzle and splashed into the water.

Luigi climbed out of the water and used his Suction Shot to pull the switch back down, draining the arena. After letting Gooigi out of the Plexiglass tank, he scurried down a ladder and triumphantly claimed the elevator button.

“Gotcha!” he cried.

He looked up and noticed Gooigi beginning to vibrate. A Boo was lurking nearby.

Gooigi’s vibrations were strongest when he was just outside the door. He indicated one of the valves, which Luigi spun until the Boo revealed themselves.

“Fwooosh! I’m ComBooster! Is it just me, or is it getting pretty steamy in here?”

ComBooster floated ominously toward Luigi and Gooigi, but the pair stopped the Boo in their tracks with their Dark Lights. Luigi then slammed ComBooster harshly and repetitively against the floor until they were subdued, and then he wrestled them into the Poltergust.

Back inside the elevator, the duo watched the elevator button fit itself into place, revealing the 10th floor.

“Tomb Suites?” muttered Luigi. “I don’t like the sound of that place. But,” he pressed the button, “if exploring it is gonna bring me closer to the rest of my friends, then so be it.” 


	27. Walk Like an Egyptian

_Ah, Tomb Suites. That sounds interesting, doesn’t it?_

_Yeah. Have you guys ever seen_ The Mummy _?_

_I have. Both versions, actually._

_And have you guys seen the_ Indiana Jones _franchise?_

_Yep. The first one was the best, in my opinion._

_It’s a shame that Luigi didn’t bring any khakis along._

_Luigi in khakis? Now_ that _would be a sight!_

_Oh, yeah!_

_Great—now_ I’ve _got the image in my head!_

**…**

True to its name, Tomb Suits was modeled off an ancient Egyptian tomb, with many rugs depicting the artwork of the era festooning the walls. Platters of fruit were stacked on one table, and the room was lit with the glow of torches.

Gooigi stopped Luigi as he moved forward. “Wait,” he said. “I smell something.”

He stepped onto a triangle in the middle of the room, which depressed. An arrow shot out from each of the four corners, embedding themselves into Gooigi. Calmly, Gooigi pulled out the arrows, the wounds closing almost instantly.

“This place is probably full of traps,” said Gooigi. “We’d better keep our eyes and ears open.”

“Amen to that,” said Luigi.

Modern-day amenities such as lotions and towels were arranged on benches and recliners, reminding our adventurers that this was just a hotel floor with an Egyptian theme. There was even some rug art depicting Luigi, Poltergust and all!

“I don’t think it flatters you,” mused Gooigi.

Another piece of rug art depicted Luigi being startled by some ghosts.

“Wow—really?” huffed Luigi.

Before he could react further, some Goobs popped out of hiding and actually startled him!

Luigi whirled on the Goobs and stunned them with the Strobulb, swiftly defeating them with an assist from Gooigi. After the two uncovered a gem from inside a snake statue, they vacuumed up the piles of sand in their way and walked through a door to their left.

And they found themselves standing in front of an actual pyramid.

“What is this, _Indiana Jones_?” asked Gooigi.

“More like a cross between _Indiana Jones_ and _The_ _Mummy_ ,” said Luigi. “Let’s stay alert and be careful of the objects we interact with. We don’t wanna accidentally unleash an ancient curse on the people we’re trying to save, do we?”

“Nope,” said Gooigi.

Luigi and Gooigi plowed through the sand with their vacuums, facing off against a gaggle of Mini Hammers and collecting treasure. Lots and lots and lots of treasure. At one point, Luigi noticed the sand-blowing machines affixed to the walls.

“They really wanna make this authentic,” he said, and then he sneezed. “J—s, this reminds me of the Old Clockworks. It was sandy and desert themed and—wow, it’s getting kinda warm. Are there sun lamps around here, too?”

“I dunno,” said Gooigi. “Is this supposed to be the pool area? Or perhaps a play area for the young ones?”

“Who cares? This whole thing turned out to be a trap, anyway,” said Luigi.

The two of them kept exploring, uncovering more gems as well as treasure, using their vacuums’ exhaust to fashion piles of sand into footholds. At one point, they were attacked by a Hammer and a group of Mini Goobs, which tacked a significant amount of time onto their exploration. By the time the ghosts were defeated, Gooigi needed some time to regenerate his health, Luigi was bruised and throbbing, and both of their nerves hummed from being tickled so much. However, the former chose not to rest, instead trudging over to the pyramid, where two matching statues of a pharaoh queen stood on either side of a huge snake hieroglyphic. Pulling the “scepter” on the leftmost statue caused the hieroglyphic to slide upward, revealing a door.

“Well,” said Luigi as he placed his hand on the doorknob. “Here we go.”

He twisted the doorknob, pushed open the door and stepped into a room with a sarcophagus.

“Oh, boy,” breathed Luigi.

“Should we…?” asked Gooigi.

“I don’t really know. On one hand, there could be another elevator button in that sarcophagus. On the other hand—when the hero of an adventure movie opens a sarcophagus—bad things usually happen.”

“An elevator button in a sarcophagus?” Gooigi made a face. “That would be just _too_ easy.”

The two looked at each other, and then at the sarcophagus, and then back at each other, and then—

“[Bleep] it,” Luigi said finally. “This is one of the times where I have to live dangerously.”

He walked briskly over to the sarcophagus, pushing it open to reveal a beautiful pharaoh queen peacefully resting inside. And as soon as Luigi laid eyes on her, he regretted his decision.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” he mumbled.

The queen’s eyes snapped open, and she turned her head to stare at the man in green.

“Who’s there?” she asked in a voice ringing with authority. “Who dares to wake Serpci, daughter of Serpcerset, ruler of the lands of my foremothers and forefathers?”

“Uh—hi,” said Luigi. “My name’s Luigi, and my friend and I were just leaving.”

But Serpci tsk-tsked. “Don’t you know your adventure movies, Luigi?” she asked, wagging a finger. “You should know that nothing good ever comes out of opening a sarcophagus! Now you’ve placed a terrible curse upon yourself and your descendants!”

Luigi went pale. “Oh, no…”

Serpci laughed. “Just kidding,” she said brightly. “You think I’m the type of queen who wants to curse people? Come on.”

Seductively, she floated out of her sarcophagus and backed Luigi and Gooigi up toward a circular indentation on the floor. “However,” she cooed, “I can’t let you and your gelatinous companion off with just a slap on the wrist, either—now can I?”

“I’m not made out of gelatin—I’m made of Goo,” Gooigi corrected her.

“Oh? Apologies—I just thought you were made of gelatin because of how you jiggle so. As I was saying, there are consequences for awakening a centuries-old Egyptian queen. Which means—the two of you—will be going on a little—detour.”

Serpci chanted an incantation, causing the circle Luigi and Gooigi were standing on to drop open, sending the duo plummeting. Luigi screamed the whole way.

“Farewell, dear travelers,” Serpci said softly, waving after them.

Luigi and Gooigi landed in a pile of sand, shaken but otherwise unhurt.

“Luigi!” shouted Gooigi, helping his companion up.

“I’m fine—I’m fine,” said Luigi as he dusted himself off and spat out a few sand granules.

The Virtual Boo rang.

“God—m it,” muttered Luigi as he answered it. “Yello?”

“Luigi, can you hear me? The signal cut out there all of a sudden. What’s wrong?”

“Gooigi and I encountered a pharaoh ghost who sent us to the bottom of a pyramid,” explained Luigi.

“You fell down a sand pit?! Good Lord!” exclaimed Gadd. “That’s a trap common in a pyramid!”

“Like I didn’t know that,” huffed Luigi.

“You and Gooigi need to find an escape route,” Gadd told him. “And be sure to watch out for more traps.”

“Will do,” said Luigi. “Bye-bye.”

Exchanging a determined nod with Gooigi, he began vacuuming his way through the circular sandy pit, searching for anything that could help. The only things he uncovered, however, were treasure—and snakes that jumped out at him when he least expected it!

“Snakes,” muttered Luigi as he sucked one such snake into the Poltergust. “Why did it have to be _snakes_?!”

Eventually, he and Gooigi vacuumed away enough sand to reveal another statue. Pulling down its arm opened a secret passageway, which the duo ran through as sand began pouring into the area.

Next, they had to contend with snake-shaped crossbows shooting volley after volley of arrows at them. Luigi flattened himself against the wall while Gooigi pulled a rope which raised a barrier over the crossbows. 

“Thanks, Gooigi,” said Luigi, breaking cover and shimmying up a rope ladder.

He and Gooigi were now in a circular, spacious room, with another door some odd feet up.

“Maybe you two can use that door to get back to the surface!” Gadd’s voice spoke up.

“But how can we get up there?” asked Gooigi.

His train of thought was interrupted, as was Luigi’s, when another sarcophagus lining the walls burst open, a mummy shambling out.

“Holy [bleep]! A mummy?!” Gooigi exclaimed. “We can’t fight a mummy with a Poltergust!”

“Maybe we can,” said Luigi. “Watch this.”

He approached the mummy and used Burst to send them stumbling to the floor. Then, he seized a loose bandage in his vacuum and yanked it away to reveal a Goob on stilts.

“Huh. Never would’ve thought that,” said Gooigi.

Luigi defeated the Goob in the usual way, and then Gooigi heartily joined in as more “mummies” emerged from their hiding places. The pair used Burst to trip them up, yanked away their bandages and then fiercely battled the ghosts, slamming them every which way. In the middle of the fight, a large, Boo-shaped stone ball began rolling around the room, which meant that the two had to avoid being flattened as well as keep an eye out for the ghosts’ attacks. Polterpup helped out toward the end, though, using his jaws to yank the bandages off the last two “mummies”. Luigi made sure to reward him with some belly rubs once the skirmish was over.

Next, they headed into a small chamber with another one of those statues on it. But as they examined the statue, the door slammed shut behind them, and several gold snake-head statues emerged from the ground, shooting lasers at some chains on the wall. Luigi glanced up to see that those chains were attached to a spiked ceiling! As if things couldn’t get any worse around here!

“Quick!” he shouted to Gooigi. “We need to destroy these lasers!”

“How?” asked Gooigi as sand began pouring into the room.

“Follow my lead,” said Luigi. “I have a plan!”

As he spoke, he began pushing up mounds of sand against the snake-heads, using them to climb onto the centermost statue, which he deactivated with Burst. Gooigi caught on quickly, and the duo did the same with the other four snake-heads, tangling with more snakes and a Slinker as they sought to escape this latest trap. And with just seconds to spare, they succeeded.

Luigi and Gooigi high-fived before pulling the lever on the statue and walking back into the large room.

It was then that they saw the sand pouring into a large well in a middle of the room, a large stone snake slowly wrapping itself around the well, causing the sand to spill into the large room.

“Hey,” realized Luigi. “If we get this room to fill with sand, then we can reach the door up top and get out of here!”

He and Gooigi walked into another chamber, where there was a scale in the center with several small gold statues inside. In front of them was a door with symbols of various animals on it, with a changing symbol in the center panel.

They jumped as another door slammed shut behind them, and another spiked ceiling began to descend.

Luigi cursed.

“Hey—I think I know what we have to do!” said Gooigi.

“What’s that?”

“We have to use the gold statues to weigh the scale,” said Gooigi. “And see this sundial-like thing? We have to make it point to the symbol that matches the one in the center panel!”

“Sounds plausible,” said Luigi. “Let’s do it!”

They studied the symbol in the center panel before adjusting the scale with the golden statues so that the sundial pointed at the same symbol. When the panel flipped to reveal a green circle, they knew they’d gotten the correct answer. Luigi and Gooigi had to play two more rounds of this life-or-death matching game before the spiked ceiling stopped descending. After they caught their breath, another lever ascended from the ground, which they pulled before heading back toward the large room.

Unfortunately, they were stopped by a Hammer and several Mini Hammers, and they were only able to proceed after a brief fight.

Another fight awaited them in the huge room, as more “mummies” shambled toward them and two Boo-shaped stone balls intermittently rolled about. And there were not just Goobs dressed as mummies—there were a couple of Slinkers, as well. Gooigi had to help Luigi out with the last Slinker, who’d grabbed hold of the latter.

Once the fight had concluded, the pair entered a third small chamber with a picture of a mountain range painted on one wall. Also on that wall was a green hole with rays around it, painted to look like the sun. They quickly vacuumed up the sand and found a circular glass object, which Luigi fitted into the hole. In response, the wall slid upward, revealing another wall with a painting of a barge on it.

Luigi jumped as the door once again slammed shut behind him, and there was a hiss as purple gas issued from six more holes of different shapes on the wall. Instantly, the man in green began coughing and hacking as the gas attempted to choke the life out of him.

“Gotta—plug those—holes!” he rasped out.

His chest and lungs constricting, Luigi nonetheless vacuumed through the sand in the chamber, coming upon glass objects of various sizes. He launched these objects into the holes with the corresponding shapes, lessening the flow of gas. However, both Gooigi and Polterpup were sent into a desperate frenzy at the sight of Luigi’s body heaving as he coughed and choked and gasped for breath, and they weren’t about to let him fight his way out by himself. Polterpup frantically dug through the sand until he found more of those objects, and Gooigi launched them in their proper places when he saw Luigi’s strength beginning to sap. By the time the last hole was plugged, Luigi’s eyes were glazed over, and twin rivulets of blood trickled from his nose.

“No, no, no…” gasped Gooigi as Luigi’s knees buckled, catching the man in green in his arms.

“I’m fine,” spluttered Luigi. “I just need some…”

He doubled over and coughed, blood sputtering from his lips and onto the floor. Gooigi lifted him off the ground and watched as the wall parted, revealing another lever.

Still holding Luigi, Gooigi walked over and pulled the lever before carrying his flesh-and-blood counterpart out of the chamber.

Luigi took deep breaths of the fresh air, noticing that the room was beginning to fill with sand. “We did it,” he said.

“Yes, we did,” said Gooigi, taking out a bottle of water and giving it to Luigi.

Luigi drank the entire bottle down in a few gulps before wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

“You think you can walk now?” asked Gooigi.

“Yeah.”

“Okeydokey,” said Gooigi, setting Luigi down.

The man in green wobbled for a few moments, but then his legs steadied. “What kind of gas was that?” he asked.

“Whatever it is, I don’t want it coming near you again,” said Gooigi.

As they waited for the flow of sand to take them to the room’s upper level, Luigi and Gooigi were assailed by ghosts. First were several Goobs, followed by a few Slinkers and a Hammer. The duo worked together to clear the ghosts out, and then they headed through the door and up the stairs back toward the surface.

The stairs gave a mighty shudder, and Luigi’s heart leaped into his throat as sections of the wall thrust toward them. He grabbed Gooigi’s hand, and the two of them ran up the rest of the stairs, reaching safety in the nick of time.

There was a thick spiderweb blocking their way, but there was also a source of flame nearby. Directing Gooigi to stay back, Luigi lit a nearby torch and used it to burn through the web.

Now, there was a wall with another mural of him on it, striking a “walk like an Egyptian” pose. Shrugging, Luigi copied the pose, causing the wall to flip around and deposit him back into Serpci’s room.

“Now I know how Indy feels,” breathed Luigi as he wiped his brow.

It was getting pretty hot, and sweat splotched his shirt. Luigi took the opportunity to unclasp his overalls and pull the shirt off, tossing the garment aside before re-buttoning his coveralls.

Gooigi let out a soft hum as he shifted the Goo on his body to match his companion’s appearance.

Luigi let out a breath. “Much better,” he sighed.

“Oh, yes, indeed.”

Luigi and Gooigi whirled. Serpci floated there, a sultry smile on her lips as she looked them over.

“I guess I was wrong about you,” cooed Serpci, approaching Luigi. “Not a lot of people make it out of the pit where I banished you. What’s the saying? ‘It’s hard to keep a good man down’.” She laughed. “It’s even harder to keep a _good-looking_ man down.” Her eyes slid over Luigi’s broad shoulders and liberally-muscled arms and upper chest, all of it glowing in the room’s warm light. “You’ve shown me all of the virtues valued by the gods. How would you like to be—my consort?”

“No, thank you,” Luigi said evenly. “I’m already spoken for.”

“I see,” said Serpci. “Come. We’ll talk some more outside.”

And then she floated out of the room.

Gooigi smirked at Luigi. “Someone has a ghost crushing on them,” he said.

“Gooigi…”

“Just sayin’.”

Luigi blushed. “Let’s just—go after her,” he said.

“Works for me,” said Gooigi as the two of them followed Serpci.

They walked outside of the pyramid and looked around.

“Where’d she go?” asked Luigi.

“Don’t worry—I’m right here,” Serpci whispered in Luigi’s ear. “Would you like to reconsider my generous offer? Trust me, the perks of being my consort are endless.” She lazily floated around Luigi and Gooigi. “I’ll even let you have _this_.” She waved an elevator button in front of Luigi’s face. “It’s the most valuable treasure of all—the treasure you’ve sought all this time.” She blew him a sandy kiss. “What do you say?”

Luigi sneezed and rubbed his eyes. “The answer is still ‘no’,” he said, brandishing the Poltergust.

Serpci smiled coyly. “Your loss,” she said before spinning in place, creating a sand whirl.

When the sand dispersed, Serpci was hidden in a sand mound shaped like her face. Luigi took a deep breath and ran forward, chipping away at the sand mound with his vacuum. As Gooigi joined in, sandy “snakes” generated from the sand mound, lashing out at the two like asps. Eventually, the mound dispersed, and Serpci rematerialized, surrounded by sand snakes. However, Luigi repelled those sand snakes with his exhaust, got in close to Serpci and nailed her with a good Strobulb flash.

“Okay, Serpci,” said Luigi as he grabbed her in the suction. “Let me show you how we do things in the 21st century!”

He slammed her into the sandy ground again and again and again, not minding the sand granules kicked up in the struggle, settling onto his skin and hair. Instead, he focused on heaving and slamming, heaving and slamming, maintaining a brisk rhythm and knocking chunks off of his opponent’s HP. Eventually, however, Serpci broke free and burrowed back into the sand, the protective mound reforming around her, and the entire ordeal began again.

Occasionally, the sand mound changed forms. One moment, it was shaped like Serpci’s face, and the next, it was shaped like a fist that barreled at Luigi and Gooigi. Or, it could be a giant ball that tried to slam down on them, or snakes that swiftly struck at them. But the two adventurers thought on their feet and used all of their vacuums’ features to stay alive and stay one step ahead. Sucking up the sand. Using Burst to vault over shockwaves and knock sandy fists off course. Using the exhaust to repel the sand snakes and sand spikes fired at them. And as soon as Serpci was open to an attack, Luigi let the Strobulb rip!

Serpci gave Luigi and Gooigi a good fight. She had the former working up a sweat in no time, the sand granules sticking to his hot skin. His brow was lightly knitted, his mouth was rounded, and his eyes were bright and intense, something the pharaoh queen didn’t fail to notice. Sometimes, she’d pause her attacks to admire his flushed and sweaty state, his chest heaving, all of his muscles flexing and stretching as he battled her. And Luigi would take full advantage, stunning her when she was distracted, releasing his breath in deep huffs and grunts as he slammed her into the sand repeatedly.

And with one last slam, Luigi prevailed over Serpci. She fixed him with a seductive smile and blew him one final kiss before folding her arms over her chest, allowing the suction to overcome her.

Luigi exhaled and braced himself for the recoil as the next elevator button shot out of the nozzle, landing in front of the steps leading to the pyramid.

“Thanks for the offer, Serpci,” he said, patting the vacuum’s apparatus, “but you’re way too old for me.”

Then, he strode over to the button and picked it up.

“But you’re right,” he smartly went on as he pocketed the button. “This _is_ the most valuable treasure of all.”

He walked out of the room, blinking the sand out of his eyes.

“That was bad—s,” said Gooigi. “Taking on a pharaoh ghost—and winning! You’re gonna have a story to tell once this is over!”

“True,” said Luigi before looking his gooey doppelganger over. “You’re jiggling a bit. Is there a Boo lurking around?”

“Looks that way,” replied Gooigi, taking Luigi’s hand.

The vibrations buzzed through Luigi’s palm as Gooigi led him down the hallway toward the elevator. When they paused at a clay jug, the vibrations had increased to urgent pulses which traveled up Luigi’s arm and shoulder.

“Here?” asked Luigi.

“Here,” replied Gooigi.

Luigi tapped the jug, and the Boo popped out like a jack-in-the-box!

“I’m AnuBoo! Time to tip the scales in my favor!” cackled the Boo.

Gooigi released Luigi’s hand long enough to help him subdue AnuBoo. Once the man in green slammed the living daylights out of the Boo and wrestled them into the Poltergust, the gooey ghost hunter slipped his hand back into his pal’s.

“Let’s check out the next floor,” he said.

And so they did. 


	28. Magic

_Oh, my holy God! For a second there, I thought he was a goner! Especially when he was trapped in the room with the poison gas!_

_I don’t know about you guys, but I_ never _want to hear him cough and choke like that ever again. My own chest was constricting the whole time; it was like I couldn’t breathe—I was feeling my bro’s pain. I’ve always been able to feel what he’s been feeling since we were boys._

_But he’s okay now. He’s okay—and getting closer and closer to the top. As we speak, he and Gooigi are exploring the 11 th floor. And whatever ghosts await him there—he’s gonna clear them out._

_D—n straight, Peachy. D—n straight._

**…**

“Why is this next floor called the Twisted Suites?” asked Gooigi.

“I don’t know, but I really don’t like the name,” replied Luigi.

The elevator stopped, and the doors slid open. Together, Gooigi and Luigi stepped onto the next floor, which was decorated with velvet curtains and magicians’ memorabilia.

“A—magic show-themed floor,” breathed Luigi. “That’s interesting.”

Playful giggling filled the air as three young ghost triplets materialized in front of them. They were purple-hued, had blond hair and were dressed in top hats and magician’s attire, replete with white gloves.

“Why, hello, there!” greeted the leftmost triplet. “I’m Nikki!”

“I’m Lindsey,” said the triplet in the middle.

“And I’m Ginny,” said the one on the right.

“We’re magicians!” the trio chorused.

“Uh—hi, Nikki, Lindsey and Ginny,” said Luigi. “My name’s Luigi, and this is my gooey bro, Gooigi.”

“Hello,” Gooigi said with a wave.

“Do you like magic, Luigi?” Nikki asked enigmatically.

“Well—yeah,” Luigi replied.

“Awesome!” the triplets cheered.

“Everybody likes magic,” cooed Lindsey. She fanned out a deck of cards and held it out to Luigi. “Pick a card. Any card.”

Luigi picked the first card he saw, and Gooigi did the same. Then, Lindsey shuffled the cards before holding them back out.

“Do you see your cards anywhere?” she asked.

“I—no!” gasped Luigi as he looked at the deck. “They’re gone!”

“Are they?” asked Lindsey, reaching under Luigi’s cap and pulling out the two cards.

“Whoa! How did you do that?” asked Gooigi.

“Lots of practice,” replied Lindsey. “Hey, do you know what people also like? Flowers.” She pulled a flower bouquet out of her sleeve and handed it to Luigi. “Here, those are for you.”

“Thanks,” said Luigi, tucking the bouquet into his pocket.

“And do you know what else people like?” Ginny chimed in. “Elevator buttons.”

As she spoke, the next elevator button appeared in her palm.

“But this little guy has the aggravating habit of—vanishing.” Ginny closed her fist and then opened it, the elevator button nowhere to be seen. “Vanishing—into thin air.”

“Only to show up someplace else,” Nikki sang out, holding up the elevator button. “Can you keep up, Luigi? Can you keep up?”

“Ooh—I know something better than elevator buttons,” said Lindsey.

“What’s that?” asked Nikki.

“Money,” said Lindsey, a gold coin materializing between her fingers. “The almighty dollar.” She waved the coin in front of Luigi’s and Gooigi’s eyes. “But money—can sometimes—disappear.” She spread her hands, revealing that the coin had mysteriously vanished. “At least…” She reached toward Luigi’s ear. “…that’s what we—hear.” She seemingly pulled the coin out from behind Luigi’s earlobe.

Luigi was awestruck. “You guys are pretty good at this!” he gasped.

“The public agrees,” said Nikki. “We’ve been hailed as the best young magicians across the globe!”

“What you just saw was only the appetizer,” Ginny chimed in.

“We have a long ways to go before we get to the finale,” said Lindsey.

“Enjoy the show, Luigi!” the triplets chirped in unison before flying off.

“Okay,” said Luigi, “since this floor is magic-themed, we’re probably gonna wind up dealing with illusions of some sort. We’d better keep our Dark Light Devices handy.”

The two ghost hunters went into a bedroom, which had a wheel for a knife-throwing act pinned to a wall and a cardboard box and some saws for a “saw someone in half” act. Spinning the wheel caused some nearby knives to levitate off the ground and imbed themselves into the wheel, yielding a gem. Alternating between the vacuum and the exhaust allowed our heroes to move the saw embedded in the cardboard box, causing two Gold Goobs to pop out. Three minutes later, the duo captured the Gold Goobs, collected all of the treasure and explored the bathroom. Interacting with all of the objects there caused an overhead lamp with playing-card suits on it to light up, panel by panel, eventually spitting out a gem and some dollar bills.

Next, they walked down a hallway, where portraits of various ghosts performing magic tricks hung on the walls. Some of these paintings hid safes, which granted them more earnings. Above the pair hung some small cages, where crows cawed or more treasure rested. But at the end of the hall, a wastebasket came to life and attacked! Luigi knocked it over with a Suction Shot, and then he and Gooigi drew out the purple Spirit Balls possessing it.

After that short fight, Gooigi and Luigi walked into another bedroom, where the bed was against the wall, the love seat and the coffee table was against another wall and the ceiling fan was on the floor. This was almost like Sue Pea’s room in 2001, where the entire room was upside-down! 

“Now I know why this floor is called the Twisted Suites,” said Luigi.

He turned and saw the ghostly magician twins enjoying tea at another coffee table, laughing and socializing.

“There he is,” Nikki sang out, producing a magic wand. “Care to join us?”

Before Luigi could respond, Nikki waved the wand, lifting him and Gooigi up and placing him on the ceiling.

“Are you upside down?” asked Lindsey. “Or are you right side up?”

“No one knows,” said Ginny as the triplets phased through a door.

But before she left, Nikki waved her wand again, dropping Luigi and Gooigi back to the floor.

The two were a bit discombobulated, but they soon reoriented themselves and uncovered a door beneath the bed by flashing a nearby cuckoo clock with their Strobulbs. This door opened into another bathroom, where fish continuously jumped out of a drainage pipe.

While looking around, a treasure chest came to life and ensnared Luigi in its jaws. His surprised cry arrested Gooigi’s attention, who immediately ran over and shone his DLD on the chest, causing the purple Spirit Balls to fly out. The now-benign chest released Luigi, and the two opened it to reveal a key.

This key unlocked a door to some sort of showroom, with a few small, round tables, a vending machine and a stage in the middle. Flashing a green panel caused the four glass cases around the showroom to open for a brief period of time, forcing Gooigi and Luigi to move quickly. Once they collected everything in the cases, Luigi got on the stage and took a bow, and then two more Gold Goobs popped out. After defeating the golden ghosts, he peered through a hole in the wall and saw a key resting in a cage.

“Gooigi,” he said. “Take a look at this!”

Gooigi padded onto the stage and joined Luigi in gazing through the hole. “Is that backstage?” he asked.

“It’s a—bedroom,” Luigi replied. “We need to find a way over there.”

They pulled down a vending machine with their Suction Shots to reveal a door, which opened into a bathroom. It was unlike any other bathroom, with a water tank wrapped in chains for an escape artist act standing in for a shower. There was a drainage grate for Gooigi to slip through and explore, and there was a hidden door behind a false wall. To Gooigi’s and Luigi’s joy, this door opened into the room with the key.

It was a very spacious room, with metal rings hanging from the walls—even a mini-fridge. Spinning the rings granted the two treasure, but what they were really interested in was the key. Fortunately for them, the cage door was open, allowing them to just reach inside and take it.

They should’ve realized that there was a catch.

As Luigi stuck his hand inside, he saw the purple Spirit Balls fly up and surround the key. Anticipating the key’s transformation into some sort of monster, Luigi pulled his hand back. But then the Spirit Balls subverted his and Gooigi’s expectations by turning into a cute, golden bunny rabbit that attempted to hop away from them.

Gooigi and Luigi chased the golden bunny around the room, the former eventually trapping it in the vacuum’s suction while the latter shone the DLD on it, drawing out and sucking up the purple Spirit Balls. 

“Bunny rabbit—of course,” said Luigi as he and Gooigi left the room. “Magicians pull bunny rabbits out of their hats. Whoa—this is good.”

They explored a laundry room with ribbons for an aerialist act, and then they used the key to unlock the door to another spacious bedroom. In this room, the bed appeared to be hovering a few feet off the ground.

“ _Now_ I’ve seen everything,” said Gooigi.

The pair set about exploring, and Gooigi started slightly when he saw Luigi seemingly disappear behind the bed.

“Wait a minute!” he cried when he retreated two paces and saw himself staring back at him. “That’s a magic mirror! The bed’s on top of some magic mirror!” Giggling, Gooigi waved at his own reflection.

“There’s a door behind me,” Gooigi went on. “Let’s see where it takes us.”

“All right,” said Luigi.

They walked through the door—and then a giant top hat dropped down on Luigi! As Gooigi chased after him, trying to get the hat off, Luigi ran blindly for a short distance before using Burst to shake the hat off of him. A glowing, purple spiral staircase emerged, leading to a treasure chest containing yet another gem.

“They should’ve called this the Weird Suites,” opined Luigi.

After subduing another possessed wastebasket, the duo proceeded to a room with a wooden floor, some tape arranged in an octagonal shape around it. They were able to explore that room without incident, but when they walked into the adjoining room, three levitating top hats waited for them.

Luigi stood protectively in front of Gooigi. “It’s them,” he warned.

As if on cue, the magician triplets materialized, all three holding magic wands.

“Hey, Luigi!” greeted Nikki. “How’s it going?”

“Wanna see another magic trick?” asked Lindsey.

“Do I have a choice?” asked Luigi.

“Not really,” smiled Ginny.

“Okeydokey then,” said Luigi. “Show me what you got!”

Nikki tapped her top hat with her wand, producing a stuffed toy rabbit. Lindsey tapped hers and produced three cue balls. And Ginny tapped hers to reveal—Luigi’s cap!

“What the..?!” balked Luigi, patting the crown of his now hatless head.

“Ew! How often do you wash this thing?” asked Nikki.

“I just washed it yesterday,” said Luigi. “Besides, my current situation has me sweating a lot. Look, can I just have it back, please?”

The triplets exchanged a mischievous look.

“I have a better idea,” said Ginny.

Nikki and Lindsey flew over with a curtain used for those clothes-changing tricks, which they draped over Luigi. They wiggled it around a few times, tapped it with their wands and then lifted the curtain.

“Ta-da!” the two sang out.

Luigi was now sharply dressed in a suit and bow tie, though his Poltergust was luckily still intact.

“That’s a much better look, don’t you agree?” asked Ginny. “Oh—here’s your hat back.”

She casually plopped the hat onto Luigi’s head before she and her sisters took their leave.

Gooigi looked Luigi over. “Pretty nice,” he said, fiddling with Luigi’s tie. “A good fit, too.”

“I’ll give them that,” Luigi concurred.

They pushed through the door and found themselves back inside the room with the knife-throwing and person-sawing acts, where some Goobs admired their nattily-dressed opponent before arming themselves with throwing knives and attacking. After loosening his bow tie a bit, Luigi brandished his trusty vacuum and engaged the Goobs, with Gooigi also eagerly partaking in the action. After taking a few swipes and scratches, the duo captured the Goobs and left the room—only to find themselves in the hallway with the spiral staircase on it.

“Those three mixed the rooms up with their magic,” realized Luigi. “We’re in some sort of maze, and we have to figure our way out!”

More Goobs attacked, throwing large pairs of dice at them. After dodging the dice, Gooigi and Luigi effortlessly captured the Goobs and walked through the door into the lopsided room, where they were beset by Oozers. The Oozers flew all over the room, looking for all sorts of projectiles to throw, laughing as they sent Luigi and Gooigi stumbling and slipping. Fair-sized bruises peppered the former by the time the last Oozer was subdued.

The next room they found themselves in was the bathroom with the water tank, which shattered, sending water sloshing everywhere. Luigi swiftly recalled Gooigi to the Plexiglass tank before facing the Hammer, taking a hefty thrashing before wrestling them into the vacuum.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized as he let Gooigi back out. “I couldn’t take any chances.”

“S’okay,” said Gooigi.

“Oh, no!” they heard Ginny’s voice exclaim. “The poor guy’s soaked! Let’s get him out of those wet clothes before he catches a cold!”

The triplets dropped the curtain back over him and waved their wands a few times. When they pulled the curtain away, Luigi was now clad in a green polo shirt and blue jeans.

“Are you more comfortable?” asked Lindsey.

“Yes,” said Luigi. “Thanks for asking.”

The triplets giggled and flew off.

Now, Luigi and Gooigi were in the showroom, where the curtains on the stage parted to reveal a Slinker and several Goobs. The man in green let out a breath, and the battle began. He and Gooigi took down the Goobs first before working together to defeat the Slinker. Then, they had to face another Slinker in the next room, followed by a Hider which sent a heavy projectile into Luigi’s face, and finally a Goob.

“All right!” shouted Luigi when all of the ghosts had been cleared out. “All right—what’s next?”

“Come in here,” Nikki’s voice called from the end of the hall, “and we’ll show you!”

Luigi and Gooigi followed Nikki’s voice into the room with the wooden floor, where a spotlight shone down on them. The triplets’ laughter floated around them as Luigi shielded his eyes against the light’s glare.

And then Nikki, Lindsey and Ginny were right in front of him, huge smiles on their faces.

“We hope you’re ready for our finale, Luigi!” giggled Lindsey. “For this one, we’ll need a brave volunteer. And you’ll do just nicely!”

“First, however…” said Ginny as the triplets dropped the clothes-changing curtain over Luigi for the third time. “…let’s get you into something a little more comfortable.”

Nikki, Lindsey and Ginny spun the curtain around a few times and waved their wands over it before pulling it away with a flourish.

Luigi quirked an eyebrow at them, now clad in a pair of black leggings and his usual socks, boots and cap—and no shirt. “Seriously?” he asked.

The trio began to spin around Luigi, ogling him.

“I see no problem with it,” Lindsey said flirtily as they spun faster and faster and faster.

Then, the triplets ducked into their hats, each playfully bumping into Luigi a few times. As he watched, the plain wooden floor transformed into a brilliantly-lit stage in the middle of nowhere, dice and playing cards lazily floating around. His gut did a loop-de-loop as he remembered that nightmarish dimension he was pulled into and—

“Okay,” he said, pulling himself out of it. “Okay. Focus. I can do this.”

He jumped as the hats appeared in front of him, spinning like tops and shooting playing cards at him. He evaded some of them with well-timed dodges and Bursts, but one or two cards would scratch him. However, they were papercuts at worst. After the playing cards stopped volleying at him, the hats again surrounded him, beginning to close in. But with another Burst, he knocked the hats backward, tipping them upside down and exposing the twins’ ponytails.

“Abracadabra,” he exhaled.

Luigi ran over to the first downed hat he saw and yanked hard on the ponytail, forcing Nikki out. Then, he stunned Nikki and commenced to slam her against the stage, defeating her in only five slams.

“Presto,” he said, giving the vacuum’s nozzle a twirl.

“Hey, you idiot!” snapped Ginny. “That’s our sister!”

“Yeah, you don’t do that to our sis!” Lindsey led the charge.

Luigi raked his tongue across his lips as he watched the remaining triplets, waiting for their next move. “Sorry I have to do this,” he said, “but in my defense, you attacked me first.”

Lindsey and Ginny exchanged a look and then shrugged, and with a flick of their wands, Nikki’s hat appeared, hiding a bomb with a short fuse.

“How fast are your eyes, Luigi?” asked Lindsey before she and Ginny ducked back inside their hats.

“A shell game,” breathed Luigi. “This is gonna be fun.”

“Don’t worry,” Gooigi piped up. “I’ll be your eyes.”

The two watched intently as the three hats shuffled around, slowly at first, and then picking up speed. After about 15 seconds, the hats repeated their attack pattern, first spitting out playing cards, and then encircling Luigi and closing in on him. At the right moment, Luigi activated his Burst function, knocking the hats over. He gazed at Gooigi, and the humanoid pointed to his right.

“You sure?” asked Luigi.

Gooigi nodded.

Warily, Luigi ran over to the hat and yanked on the ponytail, unearthing Lindsey. She pointed her wand at him threateningly, but he just sucked in a breath and stunned her. Like Nikki, Lindsey was easy to capture, her HP depleted in five hard, brisk slams.

Now, only Ginny remained.

“Catch me if you can!” she sang out as she summoned two bombs and dropped her sisters’ hats over them.

As the hats shuffled, the lights started flickering on and off. Gooigi swore.

“I don’t know if I can keep track with the lights blinking like this,” he said. “Looks like we’ll have to play this one by ear!”

“Just do the best you can,” said Luigi, his eyes still on the hats.

It took three tries for Luigi and Gooigi to finally locate Ginny. Since she had the most HP, she was harder to vacuum, lashing out with her wand and nearly breaking free twice. Still, Luigi kept up the slams until his opponent’s HP reached zero.

Ginny clawed at the stage floor for a few moments before accepting that she was beat.

“Thank you for participating!” she said cheerily before she was sucked into the vacuum.

“You’re welcome,” Luigi replied.

He held tightly to the nozzle as it shuddered, expelling the next elevator button from the vacuum. The minute it clattered to the floor, the room returned to normal, the stage once again a simple wooden floor. Luigi picked up the button, pocketed it, and then swept off his cap and took a bow.

“Great job, Luigi,” said Gooigi as they walked out of the room together. “Maybe you could’ve been a magician yourself in a previous life.”

“I don’t know about that,” said Luigi. “Before we leave, how about we check this floor for any Boos?”

“You read my mind!” said Gooigi, taking Luigi’s hand. “As a matter of fact, I think there’s one nearby!”

That vibrating pulse started up as Gooigi led Luigi into the room with the magic mirror, increasing as they approached a drawer. With a jiggly hand, Gooigi reached out and opened the drawer, and out popped the Boo!

“Let me guess—Boodini?” asked Luigi.

“No,” replied the Boo, looking him over. “I’m Boofuddler. And it looks like you saw through my trick.”

“Too bad,” said Luigi, capturing the Boo with little hassle.

After that, Gooigi and Luigi returned to the elevator, where the button to the 12th floor fitted itself into place.

“Wanna stop back at the 5th floor and change your clothes?” asked Gooigi.

Luigi shook his head. “I’ll do that later,” he said. “Something tells me that I need to keep going.”

And little did he know, he was right—


	29. Faith

_You guys, you guys! I’m next in line! He’s on his way up to my floor!_

_Really? Where are you?_

_Some sort of seafood restaurant with a pirate theme. I’m currently hanging on the wall of a pirate ship. I was that psycho’s “gift” to the ship’s captain._

_A ghost pirate, huh? Well, that’s interesting._

_Try a ghost pirate SHARK._

_No way. The King gave you to a GHOST PIRATE SHARK?!_

_He did._

_J—s C—st. And I thought I’ve seen everything._

_Let’s hope Luigi has his sea legs. He’s gonna need them._

**…**

“But there’s gotta be something we can do!” Thad persisted.

“No!” said Gadd, gently but firmly. “You and Brad are safe here. We’re guiding Luigi to the top of this hotel from this laboratory, _not_ running off into ghost-infested territory!”

“And we just watch helplessly from the sidelines while these characters do God-knows-what to him?” huffed Brad.

“Do any of you know how to use the Poltergust?” challenged Gadd.

Thad and Brad exchanged a look.

“Okay—then that doesn’t leave you much of a choice, now does it?”

Thad sat back, his head in his hands. “I am so sick and tired of being helpless,” he groaned. “First, we have Koopa ‘visiting’ twice a week, and now _this_. Luigi’s risking life and limb for us against an opponent willing to see this world burn if it’ll make him king of the ashes, and we can’t even lift a finger to assist him. Not to mention the additional years of therapy he’ll probably require when all is said and done.”

“This sucks,” Brad agreed. “I can’t believe we fell for the oldest trick in the book. ‘Oh look, we just got invited to stay at a new hotel. Nothing wrong with that’.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Gadd said consolingly. “Stop beating yourselves up. Luigi fought his way out twice before, and I know he’ll do it again.”

“Okay,” Thad sighed resignedly. “Okay—where is he now?”

“En route to the 12th floor, a seafood restaurant called The Spectral Catch,” said Gadd. He spun over to his console and pressed a few buttons. “Wait a minute. What’s this?”

“What’s what?” asked Brad.

“I see a big barrier obstructing Luigi’s path,” said Gadd, “and he probably can’t get past it with the tools he has now.” He snapped his fingers. “I have just the thing that’ll help him!”

“And that is…” prompted Thad.

“A component to the Poltergust G-00 known as—the Super Suction!” Gadd replied. Then, his face fell. “However, I forgot where I put it.”

“Typical,” said Thad, rolling his eyes. Then, his face lit up. “Well, I’ll be d—ned. Maybe we _can_ help, after all!”

**…**

Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup stepped out of the elevator and into a nautical-themed room, with barrels, nets and anchors. To their right was the bow of a wooden ship, and portraits of sea life and sunken treasure hung on the walls.

“Hey,” said Gooigi, his eyes falling on a menu. “I think we’re in some sort of restaurant. A seafood restaurant, to be exact.”

“If that’s the case,” said Luigi, “then the bow of that ship must be the entrance.”

He walked over to the bow and peered through a small crack. “Hold on a sec. There’s a door!” he cried. “The bow isn’t the entrance, Gooigi! The bow is _blocking_ the entrance!”

“Perfect—just perfect,” huffed Gooigi. “How are we gonna get the next elevator button now?”

The VB rang.

“Right on time,” mused Luigi as he answered it. “Yello?”

“Hi, Luigi,” said Gadd. “With that boat in your way, it doesn’t look like you can go any further!”

“I think that’s kinda obvious,” said Luigi.

“What’s a boat even doing there, anyway?” muttered Gadd. “However, that’s not my top priority at the moment. Could you come back to the lab? Something has happened, and—well, I’ll give you the details later.”

Luigi’s heart skipped a beat.

“Just get back to the lab, okay? I’ll be waiting. Hurry!”

“I’m on my way,” said Luigi. “See ya in a jiff.”

He hung up and raced back to the elevator with Polterpup and Gooigi. Once they stepped inside, Luigi smacked the B1 button, and the elevator started down.

“What’s going on?” asked Gooigi. “Is the Professor okay?”

“We’re gonna find out,” said Luigi.

They reached the basement, filed out of the elevator and headed straightaway to Gadd’s lab.

Gadd swiveled around when he heard Luigi approach. “L! I’ve been waiting for you,” he said.

“What’s this about?” asked Luigi. “Did a ghost try to force their way inside?”

“No, thank God,” said Gadd. Then, he started. “What’s with the getup? Was it the work of those three magician sisters? Here, let me get you something to put on…”

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” said Luigi. “Please, tell me what’s happening.” He looked around, and that’s when he saw that Brad was the only Toad present. “Wh—where did Thad go?”

“That’s what I was about to tell you,” said Gadd. “You see—I was thinking about modifying your Poltergust G-00. You know, powering it up. And Thad wanted to help.”

“He shouldn’t be wandering around this hotel,” said Luigi. “He should be waiting it out, with you!”

“The part I needed for the modification was somewhere in this Godforsaken place,” Gadd continued, “and Thad volunteered to look for it. I tried to stop him, truly, I did. I told him that it was near-suicide, but—I guess he wanted to help you after you helped him.”

“That’s understandable,” said Luigi. “Any idea where he is?”

“I’m not entirely stupid, so I gave Thad a camera so I could keep track of him,” Gadd told him, “and—well—you’ve just got to see this.”

He pressed a button on his console, and one of the monitors came to life, playing the camera footage.

It was a first-person view of the Boilerworks, everything seeming taller due to Thad’s small stature. The audience heard his squeaky footsteps as he tottered across the room, whistling a tune. Occasionally, the camera panned down toward a mysterious object in his hand. Thad paused his whistling to laugh to himself, and then he continued toward a door. But just as he reached it, a Slinker rose from the ground in front of him, chuckling darkly, and made a grab for him!

Screaming, Thad jumped back, turned and ran, tripping and losing the mysterious object in the process. The Slinker floated over to the object, picked it up, and studied it before glancing back at Thad, licking their lips lasciviously. With another yelp, Thad fled toward a door and into a room filled with crates, scurrying his way to the topmost crate. The camera slipped off of him and crashed to the floor, followed by several more crates.

And then the image went to static.

“Holy mother of God!” Luigi exclaimed. “I gotta go in after him!”

“The footage you just saw will give you clues to help track him down,” said Gadd, “but above all else, you simply must bring me the part Thad was holding!”

“Above all else?” repeated Luigi.

“My invention is at stake,” said Gadd. “You obviously agree that this is a mission of the utmost importance, right?”

He chuckled as Luigi gave him a piercing look.

“We’re counting on you, Luigi,” Brad chimed in. “Please, bring Thad back safely.”

“You can count on me,” said Luigi.

After purchasing a chocolate bar from the shop, Luigi and his two companions took the elevator to B2, the former eating half of his chocolate bar along the way.

He emerged from the elevator and into the Boilerworks with his Poltergust leveled and his senses on high alert. Right off the bat, Goobs and Oozers popped out of hiding and went on the attack, swinging wrenches at him and throwing any projectile within reach at him, respectively. Luigi stunned the first ghosts he saw, the sounds of his exerted grunts and breathing echoing throughout the room as he slammed his opponents around with all his might, Gooigi helping in any way he could. Eventually, Luigi defeated them all, walking into the large room that Clem had flooded earlier.

“The Slinker chased Thad here,” mused Luigi, “and here is also where Thad dropped the part the Professor was talking about. And then, he must’ve fled into one of these small rooms.” He spun toward a door behind him. “I remember this room—there were some crates stacked against the wall. And—the footage showed Thad hiding in a crate-filled room.”

“We’d better take a look,” said Gooigi.

They walked inside, where they heard muffled thumping and whimpering from behind a steel wall.

“I think that’s him,” said Gooigi, slipping through one of the green pipes along the wall.

Luigi heard Gooigi use Burst to knock something away, and then…

“I found him!” Gooigi exclaimed. “He looks okay—just a little rattled. I’m gonna use my vacuum to shoot him over the wall!”

“Okay,” said Luigi.

Seconds later, Thad sailed over the steel barrier and into Luigi’s waiting arms.

“Hey there, L!” greeted Thad as the two hugged.

“Hey, Thad,” replied Luigi, gently setting the Toad down.

Then, his face became serious, and he knelt down so that he was at eye-level with Thad.

“What in the Inferno were you doing?” he asked. “You’re supposed to stay in the Lab. It’s the safest place at the moment.”

“I was only trying to help!” said Thad. “We saw the barrier blocking your access to the Spectral Catch, and the Professor said that he could modify that vacuum of yours so you can get rid of it! And Brad and I were just—sitting there and watching you take all of this abuse from these ghosts, and we just couldn’t take it!”

Luigi’s face softened, and he took Thad’s hands in his. “Thank you for trying to help,” he said, “but I can’t risk you getting hurt. Not after…” He pulled Thad into another hug. “I’m gonna get you back to safety, okay? But you have to do something for me. First, you have to stay with me at all times. Second, you have to follow my instructions at all times. Are we clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Okeydokey,” smiled Luigi, giving Thad the other half of his chocolate bar. “Let’s get out of here.”

He stood back up and took Thad’s hand. Then, he heard Gadd’s voice.

“Great—you found Thad,” said Gadd. “Now it’s time for the main event! Try to find the part I asked you for! You saw it in the footage, remember?”

“Yeah,” said Luigi.

“Good luck,” said Gadd before hanging up.

“I was carrying it back to the lab, but then that ghost startled me,” said Thad. “Worse yet, I tripped, and it flew out of my hands and…”

“I saw the camera footage,” Luigi said comfortingly. “Don’t worry, Thad. We’ll find it.”

They walked back into the large room, and then Thad pointed.

“There it is!” he exclaimed. “The part Professor Gadd was talking about! I didn’t think it would be up there!”

The part in question rested atop a small shelf. It was shaped like a snail’s shell and surrounded by a golden hue.

“That catwalk in the middle—it rotates, right?” asked Thad.

“Right,” said Gooigi.

“Well, one of you can use that fan over there to rotate the catwalk to the three-o-clock position,” said Thad, “and the other can launch me onto that shelf, so I can grab that part!”

“We’re on it,” said Luigi.

Gooigi spun the catwalk to the orientation Thad mentioned, and then Luigi led Thad to the shelf, stuck him onto the vacuum and launched him at the mysterious part.

Thad grabbed the part in his arms before jumping back down, Luigi breaking his fall.

“Here you go,” said Thad as he relinquished the part.

“Thanks,” said Luigi as he took the object.

“Awesome,” said Gadd’s voice. “That’s the part I wanted you to find. Good going!”

“What does it do?” asked Luigi.

“I’ll explain in due time,” said Gadd. “Right now, you should head back to the Lab, so we can power up the Poltergust.”

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi. “Bye-bye.”

He hung up and turned to Thad. “Shall we?” he asked.

Gooigi spun the catwalk back around, and they walked toward the door. But when they tried to push it open—it barely budged.

“Oh, no! The way out is blocked!” exclaimed Thad.

“Then we’ll find another way,” said Luigi. “C’mon.”

He hoisted Thad onto his back and climbed up a ladder to another door, which led to the control room he’d explored earlier.

“Say—have you been to this area before?” asked Thad.

“I have,” replied Luigi, “and trust me, it was much worse. A mechanic ghost flooded the place, and if it weren’t for Polterpup…” He trailed off. “I spent half of the time on a pool floatie, trying to use my vacuum to navigate the floodwaters. It may sound fun—but it wasn’t.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” said Thad.

They walked down a few more ladders into the bowels of the Boilerworks, and then—

“Luigi! Behind you!” shouted Thad. 

Luigi whirled, pushed Thad behind him and faced the Slinker that had accosted them. He wet his lips and stunned the ghost before vacuuming them up, slamming them into the floor as the Toad shouted encouragement.

Thad whooped once the Slinker was defeated. “Yeah! Not so tough now, are you?” he crowed.

“Don’t make them mad,” cautioned Luigi.

“Oh. Right,” said Thad. “Sorry.”

They continued walking through the Boilerworks, Luigi eventually pulling out his phone and choosing yet another 80s playlist to brighten the mood. But as always, Luigi kept one ear open, as he could hear ghostly laughter from time to time.

Thad shuddered. “I think that’s the ghost that chased me down,” he said. “They were purple, and they had long arms.”

“I know just the ghost you’re talking about,” said Luigi. “They’re called Slinkers.”

“Slinkers,” said Thad. “Got it. Hey—see that anchor over there? Launch me into it.”

Luigi obliged, and the anchor fell down, taking some bricks in the wall along with it and creating a large hole. In the next breath, Mini Goobs began surging out of the hole, as well as from a smaller hole behind them.

“Thad—stay calm and get behind me,” said Luigi, and Thad obeyed without a questioning word.

Gooigi moved to Thad’s other side, and he and Luigi worked quickly and quietly, stunning and sucking up groups of Mini Goobs. The tiny ghosts kept coming in seemingly endless waves, swarming them and enthusiastically tickling Luigi and Gooigi in an effort to get to Thad. But that only made the two double their efforts to defend him. In response, the Mini Goobs dive-bombed their bare upper bodies, latching onto their stomachs for even more tickling fun. The pair was sent into uncontrollable laughter, but they were still able to prevent the Mini Goobs from approaching Thad, capturing them all through teary eyes and breathy gasps.

“Are you guys all right?” Thad asked when Gooigi and Luigi were finished.

“Never better,” said Luigi. “The Mini Goobs like tickling people, is all.”

“Then I owe you a ‘thank you’,” said Thad. “I’m super-ticklish.”

The group collected themselves and continued on their way, the sounds of ghostly chuckling becoming more frequent. Thad now walked between Luigi and Gooigi, three abreast, each of them holding one of his hands, as Polterpup trotted vigilantly behind the Toad.

After they passed through another gate, Thad pointed excitedly. “This way!” he cried. “If we go this way, then the exit should be through here!”

Energetically, he led Luigi and the others toward a small archway. However, Luigi wasn’t about to let Thad take point, walking beside him with his Poltergust out.

There was a creaking sound, and then a glowing purple gate slammed down over the archway. Thad screamed loudly, and Luigi spun around to see him being held around the waist by a Slinker, raising him aloft.

“Luigi, help!” yelled Thad.

Luigi didn’t waste a second, using Burst to jar Thad out of the Slinker’s grip. As Gooigi and Polterpup hastened Thad to safety, the green-capped man stunned the Slinker and heaved them against the floor, not stopping until the ghost was soundly defeated.

“Way too close!” gasped Thad.

“Did they hurt you?” asked Luigi.

“No, L—I’m fine,” said Thad.

Luigi let out a breath, and he and the others walked through the archway into a small corridor.

“Look!” cried Thad when they reached the end of the corridor. “It’s some sort of door. But it looks like it doesn’t have a handle…”

Gooigi saw a green panel against the wall and flashed it with the Strobulb. It didn’t open the door, but it caused several steel flaps above them to drop down, leaving behind areas big enough for Thad to explore. And in one such area, Thad found the door handle, which was wheel-shaped.

“Allow me,” said Thad as he screwed the handle into place.

“Thanks, Thad,” said Luigi, spinning the wheel with the vacuum until the door unlocked.

With a grunt, he pulled the heavy door open, and he, Thad, Gooigi and Polterpup walked into a room with a partially destroyed catwalk and paint cans strewn everywhere.

“There it is!” Thad sang out, pointing to a door with a sign of a running person on it. “The exit!”

“This catwalk is similar to the one we came across earlier,” said Gooigi. “That means there must be a fan or a wheel to control it somewhere.”

They all climbed down the ladder and broke through a brick wall, and then Thad hit a few switches to reveal the fan.

“Okay, you know the drill,” said Thad.

He and Luigi shimmied back up the ladder to stand in the middle of the catwalk, and Gooigi blew on the fan to rotate it.

“Let’s go,” said Luigi, and they walked through the door to a sewage area, where they heard a Hammer above them, snoring. “Quickly, now.”

He recalled Gooigi to the Plexiglass tank, slung Thad onto his hip and waded across the water to another door, which opened into a dusty area beneath the floor.

“There’s a ladder up ahead,” said Thad. “Climb up that, and we’ll be home free!”

After shifting Thad onto his back, Luigi quickly ascended the ladder and found himself back at the elevator.

“Oh, yeah! Made it!” he cheered. “First, however…”

Luigi made a quick stop to vacuum up the Hammer that had inconvenienced them, and then he rejoined Thad in front of the elevator, letting Gooigi back out of his tank.

“Thanks for helping me—again,” said Thad.

“No problem,” said Luigi as he smacked the elevator’s call button. “Now, all that remains is to take this mysterious part to the Professor and find out what it does.”

The dial above the elevator swung wildly, and there was a heavy _thump_ that startled Luigi off his feet. Slowly, the elevator doors slid open, and two Slinkers emerged with Thad in their sights!

“Oh, no you don’t,” snapped Luigi, standing protectively in front of Thad and charging the Strobulb. “You’re not getting your hands on him again!”

He released the Strobulb flash and began slamming the Slinkers about, simultaneously keeping Thad safe from their grabbing arms. Gooigi also stood as a gooey shield in front of the Toad, arms stretched out to the side, using himself as a distraction whenever one Slinker drew too close. After a brief but exciting scrap, the Slinkers were captured, and everyone stepped into the elevator.

Luigi pressed the B1 button and wiped his brow.

Thad gazed over at his protector. “You must be cold,” he said.

“Not really,” said Luigi. “I have a lot of ghosts to fight, and that keeps my blood pumping. I mean, initially, I was caught unawares, and I had no time to dress properly. It wasn’t until Gooigi joined the affair that I was able to slip into my normal clothes. Then, on the 10th floor, it started getting a little warm, so I ditched the shirt. And then three magician ghosts pulled the old ‘clothes changing’ trick on me, so…” He indicated the black leggings. “I’m gonna be walking around in this for a while. Yes, I _could_ stop by my room and change, but _should_ I, when three of my friends are still unaccounted for?”

They got out of the elevator and strode down the hallway toward Gadd’s lab. And it was there that one final Slinker, joined by some Mini Goobs, endeavored to sneak up on them and make off with Thad.

The Slinker was fast.

Luigi was faster.

Planting his body in front of Thad, he wheeled about and stood in a balanced stance, both hands firmly on his vacuum as he stunned the Slinker. As the Mini Goobs moved in, he easily defeated them by repeatedly slamming the Slinker into their midst. He continued with these heavy slams until the Slinker was also defeated.

Sweating and breathing heavily, Luigi turned to Thad.

“Okeydokey,” he said. “Let’s go see the Professor.”

**…**

“Ah!” Gadd exclaimed when Thad and Luigi strode into the Lab. “Thanks for bringing back the part!”

“You’re welcome,” said Luigi, turning the part over to Gadd.

The Professor then faced Thad. “Thank God you’re okay,” he said.

“Sorry I messed everything up,” said Thad.

“You didn’t mess up anything,” Gadd assured him. “The part is still intact.”

He removed something small from the part before tossing the rest aside. “I’ll need the Poltergust, too, of course,” he said.

Luigi slid off the Poltergust and handed it to Gadd, watching as his mentor fiddled with it.

“And—done!” laughed Gadd as he gave the Poltergust back. “The modifications are complete!”

Luigi took his trusty vacuum and slid it back on. “I don’t see any difference,” he said.

“You will,” Gadd assured him. “This modification is known as—Super Suction! It has increased the suction power exponentially! Unfortunately, you have to plug the vacuum into a special electrical socket in order to use Super Suction—a minor inconvenience that you can surely handle!”

“Where can I find these sockets?” asked Luigi.

“You’ll find them all over this hotel,” Gadd replied. “Be sure to try out your new feature as soon as you find one!”

“Great!” cried Luigi. “Maybe this Super Suction will help me get rid of that boat blocking access to the restaurant on the 12th floor!”

“The Spectral Catch?” demurred Gadd. “No doubt, it will! Just be sure to look for one of those sockets!”

Before heading back out, Luigi emptied the Poltergust and checked on the boss ghosts he’d captured. “Is everyone still doing okay?” he asked.

He was met with murmurs of assent.

“We hope you work things out,” Ginny said quietly.

“Me, too,” said Luigi, and then he walked out of the Lab.

**…**

“Hey,” said Gooigi as he, Luigi and Polterpup walked toward the elevator. “Wasn’t there a socket-like thing on the 4th floor?”

“Yeah—there was,” said Luigi. “Let’s head over there first.”

So, they took the elevator to the Great Stage, and from there, they walked over to the auditorium, battling a few ghosts along the way. Up on the auditorium’s stage was the electrical socket they’d discovered during their first visit. Slowly, Luigi approached it, only to jump and shield his eyes when the device gave a bright flash.

A current snaked out of the socket and attached itself to the Poltergust, sending a euphoric thrum down his nerves. “Whoooaaaa!” he exclaimed as he felt his vacuum surge with power.

When he pressed the vacuum’s trigger, a powerful vortex emitted from its nozzle, a vortex strong enough to rip through the wall behind him. He clutched his vacuum as tightly as he could, balanced himself on his heels and enjoyed the ride, laughing heartily as the Super Suction finished chewing through the wall like it was warm bread.

Behind that wall was a ghostly orchestra comprised of Goobs. His thumb moved toward the Strobulb, but thanks to the Super Suction, he could easily vacuum up the Goobs without stunning them first. They didn’t even stand a chance.

A gleeful whoop tore itself out of Luigi’s lungs as he tore through the ghostly orchestra and everything else in his way with his brand-new Super Suction. Finally, the socket powered down with a little whirr, and he stood there, chest heaving, staring at his vacuum in awe.

“Oh, my God!” he said shakily. “That—I—that—that was f—ing awesome!” He whirled toward Gooigi. “Did you see that?! Holy [bleep]! That felt amazing!”

He caught his breath and spotted another one of those TV teleporters, which he activated with the Strobulb. The teleporter took him to one of the auditorium’s balcony seats, where he picked up a gem.

“We gotta look for more of these sockets,” said Luigi as he, Gooigi and Polterpup left the auditorium.

The three of them didn’t find a lot of those sockets, however, but before resuming his adventure, Luigi decided to stop at Paranormal Productions to check on Morty.

The ghostly director gawked at Luigi for a few seconds, drinking in that muscular upper body. “What happened to you?” he asked. “Do you _ever_ have a normal day?”

“Not really,” Luigi replied. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m doing okay. And you?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I fought a bone monster, a caveman ghost, a pharaoh queen ghost, three magician ghosts—and now I’m about to explore a seafood restaurant called The Spectral Catch.”

“Wow—uh…” With a start, Morty realized that he was beginning to drool over Luigi’s physique, swiftly composing himself and looking his guest in the eye. “Are you sure you don’t need anything? Water, coffee, something to eat—some salve for those bruises, some ice?”

“No, but thank you for offering,” smiled Luigi. “Oh, Morty—you’re the only ghost I’ve encountered so far who hasn’t tried to hurt me.”

“I have no reason to try and hurt you,” Morty said softly. “Here—I want you to have this.” He pressed an autographed photo of himself into Luigi’s hand. “It’s a souvenir.”

“Thank you, Morty,” said Luigi. “Stay safe, okay?”

“Okay,” said Morty.

Luigi flashed Morty another smile and left. The ghostly director’s gaze lingered on the ghost-hunter’s backside as he determinedly strode away.


	30. Orinoco Flow (Sail Away)

_Whoa! Luigi has the Super Suction now?! Now that he can vacuum up everything in his path, he’d practically unstoppable! King Boo and Hellen had better beware!_

_That’s right! And now he can do away with that ship’s hull blocking that restaurant, get inside and save you from that ghost pirate shark!_

_Eh—he’s not too bad. He’s spent some time telling me stories about his adventures and teaching me old sea shanties. But he’s still starting to weird me out. Speaking of which, where are you two?_

_In Hellen’s penthouse. You should see her, pitching a fit as Luigi keeps cutting through every boss ghost in his way. Apparently, she’s late to the party—no ghost can ever trump a brother’s loyalty!_

_You got that right! Oooh—I can’t wait to watch Luigi knock this rhymes-with-witch off her paranormal high-horse!_

_In due time, Peachy. In due time._

**…**

Back on the 12th floor, Luigi purposefully strode towards the ship’s hull, Polterpup at his side and Gooigi bringing up the rear. He quickly spotted a socket similar to the one in the Great Stage’s auditorium against a nearby wall and walked straight up to it. There was that blinding flash, and then that electrical current snaked out and attached itself to the Poltergust, the vacuum purring with energy as euphoric sparks sizzled down Luigi’s veins.

Luigi threw back his head and shouted as he let the Super Suction rip, tearing away at the obstacle before him. In seconds, the ship was obliterated, revealing the porthole-shaped entrance to the restaurant. The socket powered down, and Luigi laughed softly as he and his companions stepped inside the Spectral Catch.

“Are you having fun with that?” asked Gooigi.

“You’d better believe it,” replied Luigi.

They took a moment to contemplate the scene before them. The Spectral Catch definitely had a pirate theme, as it was built to resemble a secret cave where the swashbuckling scourges of maritime history would stash their plunder. Barrels stood in for tables, stools stood in for chairs, they could see a treasure chest or two, and a couple of waterfalls cascaded down, permeating the restaurant with the smell of the sea.

“Wow,” breathed Luigi.

“Way cool,” Gooigi joined in.

In the center of the room was a large, round table with several chairs—and the opposite wall was shaped like a giant skull, a pirate ship visible through one of its eyes. And no references to piracy would be complete without the Jolly Roger! The skull-and-crossbones motif was all over the restaurant, from hidden flags to the gems Luigi and Gooigi began to uncover. If it weren’t for the fact that there were ghosts hiding about, and that the entire place was a trap, then Luigi would’ve paid a fair amount of money to eat here!

As they further explored the area, Luigi and Gooigi saw the skeleton’s jaws slowly and ominously slide open, revealing another door. 

“This looks like the bar area,” said Luigi, “so I’m guessing the actual restaurant is through that door.”

Gooigi nodded, and the pair cautiously pushed open the door—and stared in amazement.

They were now in a beach-like area, complete with sand, palm trees and a wooden dock with a bell. Large, gray rocks were scattered near the shoreline, catching the moon’s beams. Further ahead of them was a dark ocean, small waves moving calmly along the wrinkled surface. And on the horizon floated a ship with white sails.

“This place is really outdoing itself,” mused Luigi.

The DLD unveiled some wooden walkways, which they crossed to explore small islands, where they found more skull-and-crossbones-shaped gems along with the obligatory buried treasure.

“I wonder if they do something special for kids’ parties,” opined Gooigi. “Like—organize treasure hunts or something?”

“Treasure hunts, scavenger hunts, live shows,” Luigi mused. “Yeah, I suppose they could do something like that.”

Their music on low, they resumed exploring the beach area and the islands, collecting as much treasure as they could. When they were finished, they walked onto the dock and approached the bell.

“Let’s see what happens when we ring this,” said Gooigi.

“Okeydokey,” Luigi said warily, yanking on the cord next to the bell.

And as the bell tolled, the duo watched as the ship disappeared into a sepulchral fog—and then began sailing toward them. Now, they could glimpse the Jolly Roger flying proudly on the ship’s mast, as well as the mermaid displayed on the ship’s prow. Silently, the ship sailed into the port and dropped anchor, splashing Luigi with seawater and causing Gooigi to melt. The gooey ghost hunter soon regenerated in the Plexiglass tank, and once the area was dry enough, Luigi let him back out.

Once the ship came to a complete stop, she lowered her ramp, as if inviting Luigi and Gooigi aboard. Exchanging a nod, the two carefully boarded the ship, their legs taking a few minutes to acclimate to the ship’s swaying motion. Several crates with candles atop them were on the main deck. And on the upper deck—was Chad, still sealed in his portrait prison!

_Thank Heaven you’ve come, Luigi! I_ cannot _listen to ghost stories or sea shanties anymore!_

Luigi giggled—a pleasing sound to Chad’s ears.

“Ahoy there, Chad!” he called. “I’m gonna get you to safety, all right?”

_Safety? Where’s that?_

“Professor Gadd’s here, and he has a lab set up in the basement. It’s the perfect place to wait out the danger.”

_What about the others?_

“I’ve already rescued Thad and Brad, and they’re waiting for you.”

_Peach and Mario—you’ll get them, too, right?_

“Right. But first, I’m gonna find my way up there and get you out of that painting.”

_Hold that thought for a sec, Luigi. We’ve got company…_

Luigi, too, sensed that he was no longer alone, and he turned to see a shark fin gliding ominously toward the ship. But this was no ordinary shark fin. There was a golden hoop earring attached to it, and it was illuminated by a pink glow. Luigi’s grip tightened on the Poltergust. His best bet was that a ghost was possessing that shark, which meant that he had an intense battle ahead of him.

As it turned out, Luigi was correct for the wrong reasons.

He let out a small yelp as the shark leaped out of the water. This shark wore an eyepatch over one eye, and the other eye was blood-red. One fin was missing, and in its place was a sharp-looking hook. Luigi instantly thought of infamous pirate captains, like Long John Silver and Captain Hook. This shark had almost all of the pirate captain regalia—all that was missing was the talking parrot.

The shark flopped onto the deck and somehow stood up on their tail, grinning at Luigi before lifting up their eyepatch to reveal the next elevator button. And then they spoke.

“Belay there!” they said. “Have you come to Parlay with Captain Fishhook? Then state your business!”

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, only for Fishhook’s good eye to drift toward Chad.

“Ah,” they said with a laugh. “You want to steal my booty, don’t you? Well, I’d like to see you try!”

Captain Fishhook phased into the ship’s main deck, where a square-shaped face with a glowing mouth grinned up at Luigi. Seconds later, four Oozers arrived on the scene, armed with barrels. One after the other, they tossed these barrels at Luigi, who dodged about while also avoiding the wooden face with the glowing mouth. These weren’t any old barrels, either—they were kegs of gunpowder, which the Oozers had made sure to set alight before chucking them at their target! The yellow-hued ghosts laughed as the powder kegs exploded mere inches from Luigi, flinging him all over the deck.

Wiping his brow, Luigi turned to Gooigi. “I’m gonna have to ask you to scoot, okay? This is shaping to be an explosive situation.”

Reluctantly, Gooigi retreated into the Plexiglass tank as Luigi once again faced Captain Fishhook and their Oozer helpers. Snagging one powder keg, he aimed at the face shifting along the deck floor and fired. The keg exploded, stunning the face, and then Luigi grabbed another powder keg and moved in close, waiting for the glowing mouth to open. When it did, he sent the powder keg directly into the face’s jaws, causing another detonation to rip through it. He followed up with a third powder keg, forcing Captain Fishhook out of the ship, where they reeled in the air for a second or two before going back on the assault.

True to their name, Captain Fishhook weaponized their hook fin, slashing it at Luigi as if it were a sword. But Luigi used the main deck’s open space to his advantage, dodging and leaping and searching for an opening. That infernal fishhook drew blood and almost blinded him, but it was worth it, as he was finally able to stun the swashbuckling ghostly shark. Without a word of prelude, Luigi briskly slammed Captain Fishhook against the deck of what was presumably their own ship, in a rhythm closely matching a lively sailor’s hornpipe.

Luigi heard Chad singing a made-up sea shanty of his own, extolling his soon-to-be rescuer’s good looks, good heart and skill with a Poltergust. Although he took the shanty’s lyrics to heart, his focus on defeating Captain Fishhook didn’t waver for a second. He knew that pirates didn’t give up their loot easily, and a ghostly pirate _shark_ was no exception to the rule.

With an amused guffaw, Captain Fishhook broke free of the suction.

“A little fight in you,” they said. “I like that. May our battle be preserved in the pages of maritime history!”

“Hear, hear,” said Luigi, readying the Poltergust.

Laughing, Captain Fishhook dove back into their ship, and the Oozers resumed throwing powder kegs at Luigi.

Once again, Luigi used those powder kegs against his opponent, firing them off in quick succession into the wooden face’s glowing mouth. Even when some of the powder kegs managed to hit him, or when the shock waves from detonating powder kegs knocked him off-balance, he stayed fully in the fight, listening hard to Chad’s singular song. He hearkened back to the icy face in the Secret Mine six years ago, where he gave pursuit in a bomb-launching sled and had to time his shots so that the sled wouldn’t overheat and the icy face wouldn’t swallow him whole. It was an encounter that had thrown his adrenal glands wide open, and the same thing was happening here.

It took a little while, but eventually, Captain Fishhook was forced back out of their ship, their hook fin glinting menacingly. The hook lashed out again and again, managing to cut along Luigi’s shoulders, upper thighs and the sides of his body. However, he breathed through the stinging and the pain and kept going, managing to catch the ghost pirate shark off-guard with a Strobulb flash and initiate another round of frenetic slamming.

_Shiver me timbers, Luigi! You almost got him!_ Chad trilled.

But of course, Captain Fishhook had one final trick up their nonexistent sleeve. Instead of phasing into the main deck, they phased into the balcony elevating the upper deck, which sprouted two eyes and a colossal mouth with rows of dangerously sharp teeth. The giant face then roared mightily, sending Luigi scrambling for a safe spot!

Violently, the ship bucked to and fro, seawater splashing and spraying over her railing and onto Luigi. The huge mouth inhaled, trying to suck Luigi inside, but to no avail. Noticing a small plank of wood with a red bullseye on it, Luigi fired a Suction Shot onto it, grabbed it into his vacuum and held on for dear life as the entire ship plunged forward, the stern rising almost completely vertical. He just stared up at the night sky, feeling the balmy air on his skin, keeping his breaths carefully controlled until the ship righted herself.

Now, the Oozers were lined up in front of him, tossing their powder kegs in sync as if they were a firing squad. Luigi caught the first powder keg he saw, ran forward and launched it into that gaping maw. As more explosions raged around him, he sent powder keg after powder keg at that giant face, his breath now kicking against his throat, Chad’s spirited sea shanty the only thing preventing him from turning back. That sea shanty was to a large can of spinach as Luigi was to Popeye the Sailor Man.

Again, the ship pitched forward, Luigi grabbing back onto the plunger attached to the bullseye to keep himself from falling into those jaws. When the ship righted herself, the Oozers resumed rolling the powder kegs at him, which he continued to launch at the snarling face. This maddening cycle repeated several more times, and by the time Luigi finally forced Captain Fishhook back out, his ears were ringing, his legs were almost cooked noodles and he was covered in sweat, seawater, soot and mild burns.

The fishy pirate captain could care less, though, introducing another attack in which they chomped on the main deck, trying to ram into his opponent, following up with their trusty hook slash. Luigi easily evaded the ramming attack, but he still wound up taking hits from the fish hook. His upper body was liberally slashed up before he finally stunned his opponent and slammed them against the main deck, still maintaining that hornpipe-like pace despite the wounds he’d sustained.

His blue eyes shone as he slammed Captain Fishhook into the deck for the final time.

“I don’t understand,” gasped the ghostly pirate shark. “What interest is my booty to you? Why fight me so fiercely for it?”

Luigi held his vacuum’s nozzle like a fishing rod, rapidly cranking the handle as if to reel in the day’s catch.

“A personal connection,” he responded tersely. “Leave it at that.”

On those words, Captain Fishhook accepted their defeat like a true pirate legend, their good eye glinting good-naturedly at their opponent. “Keep fighting the good fight, matey,” they said before they were sucked into the Poltergust.

The nozzle shuddered, the next elevator button was expelled, and Luigi swayed on shaky legs before dropping to his knees, grabbing big, deep breaths.

Polterpup was on the scene in one leap, taking stock of his master’s injuries, giving an alarmed whimper when he saw the slashes on Luigi’s shoulders, arms, upper thighs and torso. Gently, his tongue lapped at the wounds before he nuzzled against the base of Luigi’s chin, the young man finally responding by splaying a hand against the ghost pup’s back.

“Hey, puppy,” Luigi said softly once his breathing was under control. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

He reached over and picked up the elevator button, grimacing when he saw the number on it. “Lucky 13,” he mused. “I’ll bet a host of horrors await on the next floor.”

Polterpup licked Luigi’s cheek before bounding over to the upper deck and dropping down a rope ladder for his master to use.

“Good boy—good doggie,” said Luigi as he scurried up the rope ladder and approached Chad.

“Okay, Chad—you ready?” he asked.

_You bet I am!_

With a smile, Luigi shone the DLD on Chad’s painting. Gradually, Chad became colorized, and he fell out of the painting, slid down a nearby cannon and stuck a perfect landing in Luigi’s arms.

“Right on time, Luigi!” Chad sang out, throwing his arms round Luigi’s neck. “Though a few minutes ago wouldn’t have been so bad, either…”

Luigi held Chad close. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” he asked.

“No. But he taught me a lot of sea shanties, and he was quite the storyteller!” laughed Chad.

He closed his eyes and snuggled against Luigi’s chest. “What do you say we—abandon ship?” he asked.

“Great minds think alike,” said Luigi.

“Well done, Luigi!” Gadd’s voice piped up. “Chad has been rescued! Bring him to the Lab on the double, where he can wait with Thad and Brad until things are safe.”

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi before turning to Chad. “Let’s head over to the elevator. I’m sure Brad and Thad are anxious to catch up with you.”

He knelt down so that Chad could climb onto his back, and together, they descended the rope ladder before disembarking from the ship.

Chad rode piggyback on his rescuer until they reached the restaurant’s bar area. The yellow-spotted Toad slid to the ground and stretched his limbs.

“Hey, uh…” he said. “There’s some green stuff in your vacuum’s tank, and it’s churning.”

“That’s my companion, Gooigi,” explained Luigi, “and he’s vibrating because there’s a Boo nearby.” A note of urgency rose in his voice as he said, “I want you to stay behind me until I deal with the Boo, okay?”

“Okay,” said Chad, immediately darting behind Luigi.

Poltergust leveled, Luigi followed Gooigi’s vibrations to a row of barrels near the circular table. He gestured for Chad to stand back before knocking one of the barrels over with his Suction Shot.

“Avast, me hearties!” chortled the Boo as they presented themselves. “I’m Booccaneer! Let me set sail—there’s booty to plunder!” The Boo’s eyes scanned Luigi, his green cap jostled to the side, clad in his usual boots and socks and wearing a pair of form-fitting black leggings with a tantalizingly low waistband and absolutely nothing on top. “Some very—very— _nice_ booty,” they clarified, licking out their tongue.

In their distracted state, Booccaneer didn’t notice Luigi turn the DLD on them until it was too late. Luigi stunned the Boo, seized them by their tongue and slammed them down over and over as Chad watched in unrestrained delight.

“Serves you right, you black-hearted marshmallow!” crowed Chad once the Boo was sucked into the Poltergust.

“You think _that’s_ gratifying?” asked Luigi. “Just wait till I slam around King Boo.”

Chad laughed and took Luigi’s hand, and they walked the rest of the way to the elevator.

When they stepped inside, the newest elevator button fitted itself into place, with the next floor revealed to be a fitness center.

“Hm. Not _too_ bad for the 13th floor,” said Luigi before smacking the B1 button.

“Hotels usually don’t have a 13th floor,” said Chad, “but this isn’t really a hotel, is it?”

Then, the Toad’s eyes widened. “God Almighty! You’re hurt!” he cried.

“The hook didn’t cut that deep,” Luigi assured him.

“Still—you need to get those slashes cleaned, disinfected and bandaged!” gasped Chad. “Oh, Luigi—look at what you’re going through for us! What have we done to deserve this?”

“You’re my family,” said Luigi. “Plain and simple.”

He sat down, and Chad and Polterpup spent the rest of the elevator ride snuggled in his lap.

Chad had conked out by the time the elevator reached its destination, so Luigi tenderly scooped him up and carried him to Gadd’s lab. When he arrived, Gadd already had a yellow sleeping bag waiting for the Toad retainer. Luigi gently placed Chad into the sleeping bag and slid a pillow under his head before emptying the Poltergust.

“Hey, listen,” said Captain Fishhook. “All of that back there—it was just part of my persona. I’m the restaurant’s mascot, you see.”

“Including the part where you claim one of my friends as ‘booty’?” Luigi asked.

“Uh—apologies for that, matey. Mother Cary’s chickens—I slashed you up something fierce! Do you need medical attention?”

“No. I just wanna save my friends and put my tormentor away—for good,” Luigi replied. “And—apology accepted, I guess.”

Captain Fishhook grinned. “Excellent! Your next meal at the Spectral Catch is on the house!”

“Thanks,” said Luigi.

He gazed at Chad, slumbering peacefully in his sleeping bag, at Thad and Brad, conversing quietly as they shared egg salad sandwiches and soda, and at the Professor, diligently working at his console.

“I love you all,” he said. “I hope you know that.”

Gadd swiveled around and looked his mentee in the eye. “We love you, too,” he responded. Then, his eyes swung down toward the nasty slashes on Luigi’s upper body. “Luigi, my boy…!”

But Luigi cut him off. “See you guys soon,” he said with a brave smile before turning on his heel and striding out.

The very sight was enough to take Professor Gadd’s breath away.

“My prayers are with you, youngster,” he whispered.

**…**

Luigi kept up that purposeful stride as he walked back toward the elevator, singing along to the music on his phone. After he called the elevator, he let Gooigi out of his tank, the gooey humanoid instantly zeroing in on his companion’s latest injuries.

“We’re about to explore the hotel’s fitness center,” said Luigi as he and Gooigi stepped into the elevator. “Won’t that be fun?”

“No, we’re not,” Gooigi said firmly, pressing the 5th floor button. “Not until those wounds are dressed.”

“They’re not that big of a deal,” said Luigi.

“‘Not that big of a deal’?!” balked Gooigi. “You’re _bleeding_! I’m taking you to your room and patching you up, and that’s final!”

Luigi knew that there was no talking Gooigi out of this. Stubbornness was another thing the two had in common. “Okeydokey,” he said resignedly.

They took the elevator to the RIP Suites, and then Gooigi splayed a cool, soft, gooey hand against the small of Luigi’s back as he led him to his room.


	31. One Way or Another

_Well, Peachy—it looks like it’s just you and me now._

_Yeah._

_God, I hate this. I hate sitting around here, at the mercy of a villain I can’t defeat. I can only imagine how_ you _feel._

_Oh, Mario—I’m used to it._

_I’m so sorry, Peachy. I couldn’t protect you._

_I don’t blame you._

_But I made a promise._

_I don’t blame you, Mario. King Boo is the only one at fault here. King Boo—and Hellen._

_When I saw them do_ that _to you, I thought I was gonna be sick. And they made me watch. I guess they really wanted to hurt me._

_And by extension, hurt Luigi._

_Yes. Uh, Peachy—there’s something you need to know._

_Okay._

_Before I was sealed in a painting, Hellen—did something to me. Something awful. Something similar to what she and King Boo did to you._

_Shh, Mario, shh. You don’t have to say anymore._

_You’re not angry?_

_At them. Not at you._

_Ah, Peachy—you deserve a better hero than me._

_Don’t say that. You may not be perfect, but you’re the best person to ever enter my kingdom’s borders. Remember that, Mario. Remember that._

_Okay, Peachy. I’ll try._

_Wow—Hellen’s pretty upset. And I wouldn’t have it any other way._

_Ditto._

_Oh, boy. Here comes King Boo. How is_ he _gonna react to all of this?_

_Well, Peachy, let’s find out—_

**…**

Hellen sat in her office, her head against her desk, lightly pulling at her hair. She just couldn’t believe it. That wooden hull at The Spectral Catch was sure to stop Luigi in his tracks, but instead, he’d hooked his vacuum up to that socket and effortlessly tore the hull to shreds! Her plan was falling apart, and that was bound to make her lose favor with the King. Various Goobs attempted to comfort her with offerings of her favorite foods, but she coldly brushed them off. Her staff exchanged looks, unsure of how to handle their boss at the moment.

An appendage gently rested on her shoulder, and Hellen raised her head, looking into concerned violet eyes.

“What’s wrong, my dear?” asked King Boo. “Is everything okay?”

Hellen drew in a breath and slowly let it out. “Can you—could you please sit down?” she asked.

“Sounds like you have some bad news,” said King Boo as he obliged.

Within seconds, the two villains were poring over the Last Resort’s floor plan.

“Luigi has broken through most of our major defenses,” Hellen was saying. “He utterly humiliated Amadeus Wolfgeist and decimated Ug, as well as the T-Rex he was possessing. The three Toad retainers have been rescued, and they’re now sheltering in the Professor’s lab. Worse yet, Luigi is now only two floors away from us.”

King Boo just smiled. “Have no fear,” he said. “I put up a little obstruction on the 12th floor that’ll bring his little rescue mission to a screeching halt.”

Hellen breathed a prayer, choosing her words carefully.

“My King,” she said slowly. “Luigi—Luigi has acquired an upgrade to his vacuum cleaner. Thanks to that upgrade, he obliterated that obstruction, and he’s still fighting his way up.”

There was nasty silence as King Boo stared straight ahead. Then, he addressed the Goobs gathered around them.

“I’d like to speak to your boss in private, if you please,” he said in a dangerously calm tone.

Instantly, all of the Goobs filed out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

And then King Boo furiously rounded on Hellen.

“That was an _order_!” he bellowed. “Subduing Luigi and bringing him to me was an _order_! Who does your staff think they are, daring to disobey an order that I give?! So, this is what it has come to! Once again, I’ve had my chain yanked! Everyone has yanked my chain, even my so-called ‘fan club’! Your staff is just a bunch of contemptible, disloyal _cowards_!”

Hellen was on her feet at once, towering over King Boo. “Your Grace—I will _not_ allow you to insult the people who’ve been nothing but courteous to you!” she said firmly.

“They are cowards, traitors and failures!” King Boo thundered.

“Your Grace—this is outrageous!” snapped Hellen.

“This ‘fan club’ is a disgrace to ghosts everywhere!” spat King Boo, flinging a pencil he was holding onto the table so fiercely that it bounced off the surface. “God—mit! Every time a shred of happiness is on the horizon, _he_ comes along and snatches it away! For eighteen years, Luigi has hindered my plans! He has thrown every kind of obstacle in my way! What I _should’ve_ done—was sneak inside his house and do him in, while he was fast asleep!”

The King sank into his chair and sighed. “I never went to a military academy, you know,” he said in a quieter tone of voice. “Heck, I never even went to cadet school. But sixty-four years ago, I was crowned the King of all Boos, the Lord of all Ghost Houses and the Master of Illusions! That green-capped scumbag—that f—er has f—ed me in the [bleep] for the last time! I will have him eliminated— _terminated_ —with _extreme_ prejudice! Oh, yes—that plumber will _pay_. He will pay with his own blood! He will _drown_ in his own blood!”

King Boo took several deep breaths, composing himself. Then, he gazed at Hellen, whose face was a hard mask.

“Hellen, I—I apologize,” he said finally. “I shouldn’t have singled out your staff like that. They did the best they could. _You_ did the best you could.”

He laid an appendage over her hand, and her face gradually thawed into a smile.

“I forgive you, my King,” she said.

“All is not lost, my dear,” said King Boo, stroking Hellen’s face. “I made sure all of my bases were covered this time around. The time has come to put my contingency plan into place.”

“What do you have in mind?” asked Hellen.

King Boo floated over to his two remaining “guests”, a huge smirk on his face. “Using Luigi’s selfless nature against him,” he replied, looking the portraits over. “If we play our cards right, then one of Luigi’s best character traits will ultimately be his undoing.”

Hellen grinned. “That’s—brilliant!” she cried.

King Boo sensually caressed one portrait, and then the other, before selecting one seemingly at random and tucking it under his arm. “Let’s go for a little ride, shall we?”

“Your Grace?” Hellen piped up.

King Boo turned.

“I’ll take care of Luigi for you,” said Hellen. “The last thing he’ll learn in this life—is how _cruel_ I can be!”

“Aw, Hellen…” cooed King Boo, leaning toward her.

The two kissed deeply and sensually, and then King Boo gave the remaining portrait a smirk and a mocking half-salute. “Don’t worry—you’ll be reunited soon,” he said. “But until then—the two of us are gonna have a Hell of a time!”

Cackling, he licked the portrait he was currently holding before floating off.

_No. No! Where are you taking me?! No!_

**…**

In the RIP Suites, Gooigi once again had Luigi on his bed, on his back, the Poltergust close by, as he tended to his wounds. Polterpup stood watch outside, barking at and chasing off any ghost that dared approach. Music played on low on the room’s stereo, and Gooigi was very deliberate and intent on his work.

Luigi clenched his fists, hissing in pain as Gooigi dabbed at the slashes he’d sustained with antiseptic. Tear-filled eyes stared at the ceiling, but he wasn’t tearing up just because of the disinfectant. Every second he spent here was another second Peach and Mario spent in their artistic prisons.

“Sorry,” Gooigi said softly, “but I don’t want these wounds getting infected.”

“Do what you have to,” Luigi said in resignation.

“Almost there, and—here we go! The hard part’s done,” said Gooigi. Then, he held up a cold compress he’d made. “It’s all bliss and relaxation from here, okay?”

“Okay,” said Luigi.

Gently, Gooigi placed the compress on the wounds, and Luigi’s eyelids fluttered in spite of himself. A single tear slid down his cheek, which Gooigi carefully wiped away with a tissue.

And then he slid the compress along each injury, the pain reducing from a persistent sting to a dull throb to finally nothing at all. As he worked, Gooigi hummed along to the music as his body gently oscillated to the sound. And still—he couldn’t help but marvel at Luigi. The wounds he sustained seemed to be healing quicker than the average person. Did he sneak a Mushroom in the interim? Or was it something else?

Setting the compress aside, Gooigi bandaged the wounds, starting with the ones on Luigi’s limbs and concluding with the ones on his torso. As he smoothed out each bandage, Gooigi allowed his hands to once again trace Luigi’s muscles, from the slight undulations of his abs to the rings of muscle around his belly button, feeling them contract and relax with his breaths. For a moment, he wanted to know how those muscles and that skin would feel against his gooey lips, but he shoved the question aside. It wasn’t appropriate for this occasion.

Luigi felt his eyes glaze over, Gooigi’s soft and cool-warm texture beginning to lull him. His gooey bro’s touch was like an IcyHot patch, cool to dull the pain and warm to relax it away. And he was also aware that the music on his stereo was causing Gooigi to thrum and pulse—not as severely as when he was around a Boo, but it was perceptible still.

“S’okay,” Gooigi was saying, studying Luigi’s half-lidded eyes. “S’okay—rest.”

“Wha…” Desperation and urgency stabbed through Luigi. “No. No, no, no, no! Mario—I have to…” He was fighting against the drowsiness and failing.

“Rest. Just a short nap. Please…”

Luigi looked at Gooigi, who was once again matching his state of dishabille. Slim frame, perfectly-toned muscles, taut and round little belly button. The relaxing music caused that upper body to gently weave to and fro, and Luigi watched, as if hypnotized.

“Luigi—s’okay. Please, rest.”

Luigi’s body sank into the mattress and into the pillow. And slowly, tentatively, Gooigi lowered his body, as well—lowered it until his bare torso was flush against his companion’s—so soft and warm and _inviting_.

“Gooigi…” whispered Luigi.

“Hm?” asked Gooigi, allowing his matter to slightly sink onto Luigi’s skin.

“Wow—that feels—great,” said Luigi.

Gooigi let out a soft little coo and wrapped his arms around Luigi, rotating them so that they were both laying on their sides. The gooey humanoid then drew the weary ghost-hunter closer to him, tucking his head into the crook of his neck. And as a Chris Isaak song began to play, Luigi’s breathing evened out, and his eyelids fluttered.

“S’okay, Luigi—rest,” Gooigi said softly. “I’ll watch over you…”

With a slight hum, Luigi closed his eyes, surrendering himself to the need to rest.

Gooigi, however, remained awake, holding Luigi protectively and securely in his arms as Polterpup remained on guard outside. And before long, the strangest feeling began creeping over him. It was like there was a band around his head, tightening with each passing minute. His gooey body thrummed, and not just because of the music. It was because of the millions of thoughts suddenly invading him.

He saw the faces of the two people still depending on Luigi. He saw the hope and worry in their eyes. He saw Thad, Brad and Chad, playing the waiting game in the lab. He saw the Professor, brow wrinkled with concern as he sat at his console. He saw King Boo and Hellen, leering.

And then—

Then—

An entirely new sensation jolted through Gooigi. A sensation he couldn’t understand. At first.

_Pain_.

So. Much. Pain.

It pierced, drilled and hammered into his gooey body, and he was confused. He was made out of ectoplasm and coffee! He couldn’t feel pain—not physical pain, at least. So, why was he feeling pain now? Why was he seeing Mario and Peach’s faces? Why was he seeing the three Toads and the Professor? Why was he feeling the same restlessness Luigi was feeling? Why was he now feeling a myriad of doubts and fears? Why was his mind racing? Why was he feeling that tightness around his head? Why…?

Gooigi whimpered, a quiet, keening sound, a small shiver passing through his body. He whimpered again, and again, the whimper morphing into a small sob. A gooey tear formed in his eye and slid down his cheek. A small pain arose in the back of his throat. His heart raced.

And then he whispered into the night: “M—Mario…?”

Emotions swelled inside of Gooigi, and with them came images. Images of Mario as a nine-year-old boy. Images of a sneering bully, calling Mario a name. Images of that same bully, on the ground, sniveling, as tiny fists connected with him again and again as a young, angry voice demanded that he apologize to Mario. Images of a turtle-dragon hybrid, smirking and laughing, of Peach in a cage, illuminated by a fiery glow, her eyes dilated with excitement, sweat sparkling on her face and neck. So many images. So many emotions.

“Mario,” he uttered again. “Big Bro…”

More gooey tears. “Mario—I’m supposed to protect you…”

Wait, _what_?!

That’s something Luigi would say!

Oh. Oh—

This pain he was feeling—these thoughts he was thinking—

They weren’t his.

They were Luigi’s!

_Why am I thinking Luigi’s thoughts? Why am I feeling his pain?_

_Am I in his conscience?_

_Have I somehow slipped into his conscience?_

_Is that why my head feels so funny?_

_How am I doing that?_

Gooigi lay perfectly still, listening to the sound of Luigi’s breaths, feeling him snuggle against him.

And like a movie, the story of the Mario Bros’ adventures played before him.

The heart-to-hearts. The team-ups. The vows. The fights. The make-ups. The rescues. Some brainwashing incident involving a count. The sporting events.

The first mansion. The first fight against King Boo.

That reunion in the Lab.

“Bro—I’ll never let you go. I’ll never let him hurt you again…”

The phone calls from the Bunker in Evershade Valley. The security image, revealing Mario, once again in peril.

More gooey tears poured out of Gooigi’s eyes, only to absorb back into his form.

“Big Bro—I love you so much. And I can be brave, too. I fight ghosts…”

He was starting to understand why Luigi was reluctant to rest and get his wounds looked at.

“I need to save my friends. I need to save my friends. I—need—to.”

Scenes of relaxing with Mario and Peach and the Toads flickered before Gooigi’s mind.

“I need to save them. I can be brave. I can be brave. I want to be brave. I have to be brave. I have to—I will. I _will_ be brave. I _will_ fight King Boo. I _will_ stop him. I _will_ save them.”

Gooigi lay there in the moonlit room and whispered the names. The names of the people keeping Luigi—and by extension, him—going.

Mario.

Princess Peach.

Professor E. Gadd.

Thad.

Chad.

Brad.

Do it for them.

Do it for them.

For them.

Them.

Them.

“One way or another…”

The racing thoughts began to still.

“One way or another—I will get you out of this. One way or another. One way or another…”

A tiny voice in the corner of his mind chimed in, _I’ll help._

“I know you will.”

The pain receded. The tears stopped flowing.

“Whatever it takes.”

The imaginary band around his head loosened.

“Do it for them.”

His heart rate returned to normal.

“One way or another.”

His breathing steadied.

“Whatever it takes. Do if for them. One way or another.”

He curled himself around Luigi, to comfort him. To soothe him.

“Whatever it takes. Do it for them. One way or another. Whatever it takes—do it for them—one way or another.”

And then the band around his head was gone.

Gooigi lay there on the bed, limp and exhausted, his head heavy against the pillow.

Rest. He would rest, too.

And he would be here when Luigi woke up.


	32. Physical

_Can you hear me?_ Amore _, can you hear me?_

_Yes. I’m here. I’m here._

_Wh—where are you?_

_The roof._

_Why does he have you on the roof?_

_I don’t know what he’s planning, but I know it’s bad news for all of us. Luigi needs to be careful._

_What is he doing to you up there?_

_Those horrible purple eyes of his are eating me up—and sometimes, he has his appendages all over me. I’ll take that turtle over him any day of the week._

_Peachy, stay calm and stay brave. Luigi’s on his way up, and he’s gonna get us both out of this._

_He’ll probably save you first, because bros before—well, you know. When he comes, just follow his instructions. That’s all I ask of you._

_Don’t worry about me,_ amore _. Save your energy, and save your strength. He’s coming, okay? He’s coming._

_Yes—he’s coming. My brother-in-law in all but name is coming…_

**…**

Gooigi felt Luigi stir between his arms, willing himself from his slumber. Blue eyes blinked open, cloudy from leftover drowsiness, and his hair and cap were tousled. A soft sound escaped the plumber’s lips as he raised his head and looked his gooey companion in the eye.

“How are you feeling?” asked Gooigi.

“Refreshed,” replied Luigi, pushing a few locks of hair from his face. “Everything doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”

“See? You needed that rest, after all,” said Gooigi, “and so did I.”

“Thanks for patching me up,” Luigi said softly. “Again.”

“You’re welcome.”

They lay there in silence, their bodies still pressed together, stomach to stomach and chest to chest. Almost hesitantly, Gooigi cupped Luigi’s cheek in his hand, searching his face, admiring his double-swooshed stache and his lips. His supple, smiling lips.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Gooigi’s own lips were gently pressed to Luigi’s soft ones, the latter tasting the hints of coffee and green apple. For a moment, Luigi was surprised, but then he sank right into the kiss, allowing the gooey tongue to mingle with his own and lap away at his warm mouth. Gooigi kissed him again, deeper, probing, tasting, humming, still holding Luigi to him, feeling his heart speed up and seeing a blush crawl over his face. He’d expected his flesh-and-blood counterpart to resist—even freak out—but he didn’t. And he was actually kissing back.

Gooigi blotted his lips on Luigi’s again and again, not stopping until they both ran out of breath. They locked eyes, gasping, lips swollen and pupils dilated on Luigi’s part.

“I—I…” spluttered Gooigi. “I don’t know why I did that, Luigi. It just feels like I’ve been lying dormant for a long time, and then suddenly—I’m awake!”

Luigi nodded to show that he understood.

“Nobody has touched me so deeply before,” said Gooigi. “Each moment we spend together, every time we’re in danger—I find myself growing fonder and fonder of you.”

“Ditto,” whispered Luigi.

“But—we’re supposed to be brothers. And I just did—what brothers aren’t supposed to do.”

“Relax,” said Luigi. “We’re not technically blood-related, after all. We’re just brothers in bond.”

“Brothers in bond,” repeated Gooigi. “I like the sound of that.”

The magic lingered, and then it passed, Luigi and Gooigi reluctantly separating. The former headed to the bathroom to freshen up, washing his face, jumping into a quick shower and combing his hair. After toweling dry, he peeled off his bandages, stunned to find that his wounds had practically healed. Then, he slipped into a pair of form-fitting, royal blue gym pants. Once again, he didn’t bother with a shirt. Maybe he’d throw one on before confronting Hellen and the King…

“Since we’ll be exploring a fitness center,” said Luigi, “I might as well dress for the occasion.”

“Yeah,” laughed Gooigi.

The ghost-hunter wolfed down a granola bar before packing a change of clothes, a gym towel and a sports drink into a duffel bag. Then, he checked his Poltergust before sliding it onto his back.

“All right,” said Luigi. “Let’s get back to work.”

They walked out of the room, where Polterpup energetically greeted them, offering to carry Luigi’s duffel bag for him. Luigi accepted, and the three of them strode down the hall, got into the elevator and ascended to the 13th floor.

When they arrived at the Fitness Center, the trio headed to the front desk, where Luigi signed in out of habit. Polterpup took his master’s duffel bag and pranced off in search of the men’s locker room while Luigi and Gooigi looked around.

After uncovering a hidden bell and vacuuming up a Gem Goob, the two heard the phone near the elevator ringing. Luigi stepped outside to answer it.

“H—hello?”

“Are you looking for the perfect music for your workout?” asked the voice on the other end. “Then look no further! Each of our cardio machines has a built-in radio, so you can get your blood pumping to hits from yesterday and today!”

“Thanks,” said Luigi.

Placing the phone back on the cradle, he went to rejoin Gooigi when the phone rang a second time.

He answered with a curt “Yeah?”

“A little birdie told me that someone likes hitting the gym,” Hellen sang out, “especially when they’re feeling upset. I really hope our fitness center is to your liking.”

Luigi clenched his jaw. “Look, Hellen—I’m very preoccupied right now…”

“Oh, right—right. You’re trying to save everyone. How could I forget?” Hellen chuckled mirthlessly. “I must say—you’re looking so good right now in those gym pants, baring that enviable body of yours to the world. I can see where you get it from, though. That brother of yours has a very lovely body, too. Maybe after I get my hands on you and turn you over to the King, your big brother and I will have a little—party.”

“Hellen,” Luigi said in a shaky yet calm voice. “Would you like to know what I think?”

“And what’s that, my lovely Luigi?”

“I think,” Luigi told her, “that you should take a big step back—and quite literally _[bleep] your own face!_ ” His voice had risen to an enraged shout. “Now, I don’t know what kind of twisted sadist show you’re trying to run here, but no matter how hard you try to frighten me, I’m just gonna keep coming back until my friends are safe, so you’d better get your f—ing head around that! I’m gonna go check out your fitness center and get nice and pumped and sweaty, and when I’m finished, I’m gonna head up to your little hideout, wherever that may be, and I’m gonna rain down an ungodly f—ing firestorm upon you! You’re gonna have to call in a f—ing legal team to negotiate a f—ing _binding_ agreement to keep me from f—ing destroying you! I am talking _scorched earth_ , _pu—na_! I will _pulverize_ you! _I will [bleep] you up!!!!_ ”

He slammed the phone back into the cradle, ripped the whole d—n thing out of its wiring and bashed it against the table a few times before flinging it against the wall. Then, he stood there, simmering with fury, fists clenched, breathing hard.

_Whoa, whoa, whoa—you might wanna take it easy there, Bro._

“When she’s making these comments about you?! Who does she think she is?!”

_She_ wants _you to lose it, Bro. So when you_ do _confront her, you won’t be able to think straight. If you wanna capture her and save me, then you need a level head. Now, breathe,_ fratellino _. Breathe_ …

And Luigi breathed, feeling himself calm down.

_There you go. Now run along, and collect the last two elevator buttons. I’ll be waiting for you!_

Luigi turned and walked back to the front desk.

“What was that about?” asked Gooigi.

“They need a new phone,” Luigi bluntly responded.

They walked into the fitness center proper, where they discovered that the door to the pool was blocked. The door on the other side of the front desk was locked, as well. Suddenly, a volleyball smacked against the window behind the front desk, and Luigi and Gooigi rushed forward to take a look.

There was a rather buff ghost in the pool which reminded Luigi of Biff Atlas, the bodybuilder ghost. However, this ghost was clad in a lime-green swimsuit and had darker hair. The ghost also had the next elevator button attached to a lanyard, next to a whistle.

“We have to find a way into the pool area,” said Luigi. “How else are we gonna get the button from that swimmer ghost?”

The buff ghost sent another volleyball into the window, Luigi reflexively leaping back. Soft chuckling sounded behind him, and he whirled to see several Goobs admiring him. Quite a few of the Goobs wore goggles to protect themselves against the Strobulb.

Still noshing on the eye candy in front of them, the Goobs advanced on Luigi. Quickly, he stunned the first Goob he saw, grabbed them in the suction and slammed them into their buddies as Gooigi did the same. The ghosts managed to land a few rough punches, but Luigi hardly felt them. He didn’t have time to rest after capturing the last Goob, however, as a Slinker grabbed him from behind! Luigi used Burst to break free and then stunned the Slinker, he and Gooigi working in tandem to subdue the purple ghost. Defeating the Slinker earned them a key, which unlocked the door to the locker room.

Polterpup was waiting for them in there, perched next to Luigi’s duffel bag, a warning in his eyes. Slightly, the ghost dog jerked his head up, and Luigi followed his gaze to an Oozer, casually spraying on some deodorant.

Luigi tried to sneak up on the Oozer, but they noticed him first, threw the can of deodorant at him and ducked into one of the lockers. Polterpup raced over and kicked the locker’s door with his hind legs, the cacophony forcing the Oozer back out. Quickly, Luigi vacuumed up the dazed Oozer before dealing with some Mini Hammers, followed by some Mini Goobs.

Once all of the ghosts were cleared out, Luigi turned to his ghost puppy. “Thanks for watching my stuff,” he said, petting Polterpup.

“Over here!” called Gooigi. “There’s another door to the pool!”

Luigi ran over and tried the door, only to find that it was also blocked.

“I should’ve know that it wouldn’t be that easy,” he huffed. “C’mon, Gooigi. Let’s explore the gym area for clues.”

In the weight room, Luigi and Gooigi found one Hammer shadowboxing while another Hammer bench-pressed one of the weights. They saw the duo’s reflection the mirror and whirled on them in an instant. The shadowboxing Hammer threw jabs and hooks at them, while the bench-pressing Hammer tossed weights at them. Luigi and Gooigi wound up getting hit by weights while trying to dodge the boxing Hammer, or a gloved fist would mash into one or the other’s midriff while trying to dodge a thrown weight. It was an arduous and painful ordeal, but they somehow managed to defeat the two Hammers by tricking the bench-pressing one into throwing a weight at the boxing one. The battle became easier after capturing one of the Hammers, however.

“All right,” said Luigi when the skirmish was won. “This is a good way to work out, considering.”

He let off some steam by taking some casual swings at a nearby punching bag before he and Gooigi continued on their way.

“Here we are,” said Luigi as he and Gooigi walked into the cardio area. “My favorite part of the gym.”

“How come?” asked Gooigi.

“Whenever I have a rough day or get into an argument with someone, the cardio area is how I clear my head,” Luigi explained. “The intense physical exercise helps me put things into perspective. And while I’m sweating it out, I don’t really have to think.” Indicating a row of spin bikes, he went on, “That’s one of my favorite cardio machines, by the way. It _really_ puts my muscles to the test. An hour or so on that does away with the worst of a foul mood.”

“What about these?” asked Gooigi, indicating the row of treadmills.

“Yeah—those are cool, too,” said Luigi.

A hand tapped Luigi’s shoulder.

He turned—and then he prepared for a fight.

A Goob hovered before him, wearing a muscle shirt and a sweatband. Instead of attacking Luigi, however, the Goob waved hello before pointing to one of the spin bikes.

“Wait,” said Gooigi, placing his hand over his companion’s. “They—they want you to do something.”

Again, the Goob pointed toward one of the spin bikes.

“Do you—want me to hop on one of those?” asked Luigi.

The Goob nodded.

Warily, Luigi obliged, sliding off his Poltergust and placing it beside the front of the bike.

The Goob chattered something, and Luigi took it as a command to begin pedaling. So, he did—slowly at first, and then gradually picking up speed. As he pedaled, the spin bike seemingly began adding resistance on its own. First, it was a “mild headwind” kind of resistance, then a “biking through mud” resistance, then a slight incline, then a moderate incline and finally a steep incline. All the while, the Goob chattered for Luigi to keep going, to pedal faster, and while he didn’t see the point, he reasoned that following the Goob’s instructions would somehow get him into the pool area.

Soon, the bike’s resistance was at its highest setting, and while Luigi normally tackled steep inclines during his regular workouts, this was challenging him in ways he’d never been challenged before. He watched as the panels in front of him lit up in a fluorescent green, still pedaling fast and brisk, breaking a sweat and breathing deeply. Behind him, the Goob giggled. He knew that they were checking him out.

A pair of headphones dropped over his ears, upbeat tunes playing to help him maintain that fast pedaling pace. He gripped the handlebars, closed his eyes and pedaled on and on and on, letting out the doubt and angst still clinging to him, pushing himself to the point that perspiration was flying everywhere. Hopefully, none of it landed on Gooigi.

The Goob kept Luigi on the spin bike for half an hour before letting him dismount. Then, they had him climb onto the next spin bike and sweat it out for another half hour, followed by a third half-hour on the last spin bike in the row. By then, all three bikes’ panels were lit, and Luigi was sopping with sweat. But it was worth it, as he was rewarded with a shower of treasure, which Gooigi vacuumed up.

Huffing for breath, Luigi stooped down and picked up his ghost vacuum, only for the Goob to steer him toward the row of treadmills.

“Whatever you say,” said Luigi, setting the Poltergust next to one of the treadmills before stepping on.

Automatically, the treadmill started moving, gradually increasing in speed and incline. Ten minutes later, Luigi was engaged in an all-out sprint, arms and legs pumping, sweat blurring his vision. Both the Goob and Gooigi shouted encouragement to him, and Luigi was aware that there was a method to this madness. It was thirty-five more minutes before the payoff came—in the form of a key to the next room!

The Goob patted Luigi on the back and departed peacefully, leaving him gasping for breath and staring at the key.

“You know,” said Luigi after he’d gained enough wind to speak. “That actually felt good.”

He slid his Poltergust back on, and the exploration resumed.

The key Luigi had acquired from those 45 minutes on the treadmill unlocked the door to the yoga studio, where several lime-green yoga mats were arranged, two humidifiers releasing a relaxing scent. Luigi inhaled a few breaths before uncovering a secret passageway to the 13th floor’s ledge. Slowly, he inched his way toward a chest which contained another key.

After grabbing the key and inching his way back to the yoga studio, Luigi had to take several more deep breaths from the humidifiers. But before he unlocked the door, some ghosts who were doing a private yoga session decided to attack him. There were two Slinkers, two Hammers and four Mini Hammers. With Gooigi’s help, Luigi was able to capture them all, and then the adventurers proceeded into the next room.

“Uh-oh,” said Gooigi.

The duo was now in the showers, where there was lots of running water about. There were also some Goobs showering, and when their eyes fell on Luigi and Gooigi, they freaked out as if they’d been caught naked! Luigi recalled Gooigi to his Plexiglass tank before using his vacuum to turn off the showers, removing both the water hazard and the steam that was reducing visibility. Then, he stunned and captured the Goobs, only for another Goob to arrive on the scene and signal for more ghosts to attack.

This group consisted of Slinkers and Goobs, and combined with the slightly slippery floor, they gave Luigi a tough fight. Using the leftover adrenaline from his previous workout, he still powered through, and when all of the ghosts were captured, he let Gooigi out of the tank.

Quickly, Luigi checked the map on his VB. “Wow, we made it!” he cheered. “The pool is just outside that door!”

“Just keep me away from the water, and we’ll be good to go,” said Gooigi.

They walked into the pool area, where they saw a scoreboard, several diving blocks and a large lap timer. A lot of volleyballs bobbed on the pool’s surface.

“Hello?” Luigi called out. “Hello, hello?”

A hearty laugh sounded, and Luigi gasped as a volleyball sped toward him. He hit the deck immediately, the volleyball bouncing off the wall behind him.

“Hey!” he shouted.

“Whoa! Sorry, kiddo!” laughed the swimmer ghost as they materialized. “I didn’t see you there! Say—what are you doing out here so late?”

“My friends are in trouble, and I’m gonna help them,” Luigi replied.

“You sound like one selfless guy to me,” said the swimmer ghost. “My name’s Johnny Deepend. What’s yours?”

“Luigi.”

“Luigi—that’s a nice name. Why don’t you hop on in, Luigi? The water’s fine!”

“Okay,” said Luigi, again sliding off his Poltergust, which he handed to Gooigi. Gooigi took the vacuum with a slight nod.

Slipping off his boots and socks, Luigi sat on the pool’s edge before slowly sliding into the water. “Oh, man—it’s cold,” he said.

“I had to turn the heater off,” said Johnny. “I can’t have it on during afterhours. Anyway, do you play volleyball?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, then,” said Johnny, picking up a volleyball. “Let’s see what you got.”

He wound up and served the volleyball toward Luigi, who served it right back, striking Johnny in the stomach.

Johnny just laughed. “Not bad!” he complimented. “Oh—before I forget…” He tossed some goggles toward Luigi. “These will protect your face. I don’t want to accidentally knock an eye out or something. I can be pretty strong.” He flexed his muscles as Luigi fastened the protective goggles. “Okay, where were we…?”

Grabbing another ball, Johnny sent it arcing toward Luigi, but the latter hit back with a powerful spike, beaning the ghost in the shoulder. Meanwhile, Gooigi stood back and watched as the two quickly got a rally going. How could he forget that volleyball game between them on the afternoon they met? Even though the game was on dry land, Luigi could keep up with the arcing ball no matter how hard it was hit. Now—the volleyballs were being sent out like projectiles by a buff ghost, sometimes two at a time, but Luigi’s hand-eye coordination was sharper than ever. Breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, he whacked the volleyballs sent his way back into Johnny, hard enough to temporarily stun him.

“Is this volleyball or dodgeball?” Luigi wanted to know as he gave several more volleyballs expert serves toward Johnny.

“Maybe it’s a little bit of both,” Johnny said craftily. “It gets the blood pumping, though, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does,” exhaled Luigi, dodging a volleyball to the face before picking it up and smacking it back toward Johnny.

Gooigi remained poolside, watching as the volleyballs flew back and forth more furiously than ever. Then, he spotted some sort of valve on the other side of the pool. Maybe turning that valve could help Luigi end this game and capture Johnny. A sidelong glance Luigi cast him let him know that he saw the valve, too. Giving his pal a nod of understanding, Gooigi squeezed past a small gate and headed over to the valve, spinning it with his vacuum while Luigi kept Johnny distracted with their volleyball game.

That valve opened a drain at the bottom of the pool, which began sucking all of the water out. Luigi swam over to a nearby pool ladder and pulled himself up, putting his socks and boots back on and watching as Johnny was snagged by the ensuing vortex. The swimmer ghost’s tail wound up caught in the drain, severely limiting his movement and making it safer for Luigi to approach Johnny and attempt a capture.

“Here!” shouted Gooigi, tossing Luigi his Poltergust. Luigi slipped it back on and climbed back down the ladder to the now-empty pool.

Johnny remained a good sport despite his current predicament, continuing to snatch up nearby volleyballs and serve them at Luigi. This time, however, Luigi deliberately used the volleyballs to stun his foe, giving him time to vacuum Johnny’s goggles from his face and expose him to the Strobulb. Johnny’s HP was surprisingly low for a boss ghost, allowing Luigi to subdue him in three solid tries.

“Good game, my friend!” said Johnny as his HP reached zero. “Come by for swim practice sometime!”

“I will,” said Luigi.

Johnny took the opportunity to flex his muscles one final time before he was sucked into the Poltergust. The nozzle then shuddered, and as before, the elevator button was violently expelled from the vacuum.

The button sailed through the air and landed right in Gooigi’s palm. “Got it!” he cried.

Luigi gave him a thumbs-up. “Good job!”

He hoisted himself up the ladder and out of the pool, only to notice that Gooigi was beginning to jiggle. That could only mean one thing—

“Where…?” asked Luigi.

Gooigi walked toward a nearby laundry basket, where he began wobbling like crazy. Luigi vaulted over another small gate and kicked the basket over, unceremoniously dumping out the Boo.

“I’m Boodybuilder!” greeted the Boo. “You’re pretty good! Have you been working out?”

Boodybuilder floated into the empty pool, and Luigi quickly joined them, exposing them to the DLD, grabbing their tongue and slamming them against the pool bottom several times before wrestling them into the Poltergust.

Luigi wiped his brow, exited the pool and smiled at Gooigi. “Let’s go,” he said.

They made a quick stop in the locker room, where Luigi changed into a dry pair of pants and emptied his bottle of Gatorade. Polterpup scampered over, and Luigi gave him a quick belly rub.

“Were you watching my duffel bag this whole time?” he asked.

“Arf!”

“Good puppy!” laughed Luigi.

He picked up the duffel bag, and he, Gooigi and Polterpup walked toward the elevator. 


	33. The Cat Came Back

_Way to go, Bro! You sure made Johnny Deepend feel the burn! But the cooldown will have to wait. You’re just a couple of floors away from me, and Hellen’s waiting. I can’t wait to be free of her._

_That Goob beforehand was very generous, though—letting Luigi have that key after completing an intense workout rather than attacking him._

_Eh—that Goob just wanted to see my bro sweat it out._

_Who wouldn’t? I mean, that film director ghost has taken an interest in him. And even Gooigi’s taken an interest in him. Guess he’s just that kind of person._

_Yeah. He is, isn’t he?_

_Thank God he made it through the 13 th floor in one piece, though. Now let’s see what he’ll encounter on the next floor!_

**…**

“I was thinking,” Gooigi was saying, “before we head to the 14th floor, how about you drop off your duffel bag in your room? It’ll be one less thing to carry.”

Luigi nodded. “Sure,” he said, dropping the duffel bag onto the ground and holding up the elevator button. “All right—where are we headed to next?”

The elevator button fit itself into its proper socket—only to pop back out—once again in Polterkitty’s jaws!

“You gotta be s—ing me,” Luigi said in disbelief.

Polterkitty sailed out of the elevator panel and onto the floor, swallowing the elevator button with a devious grin. As she turned to leave, Polterpup trotted over to her, playfully barking and staring at her with puppy-dog eyes.

“Yeah—nice kitty,” Luigi said softly as he observed the scene. “Do you wanna play with the nice doggie?”

But Polterkitty turned up her nose at the ghost pup and strutted out of the elevator. Polterpup whined, his eyes and tail drooping.

“Aw—puppy,” said Luigi, kneeling down and giving Polterpup a comforting hug. “You’ll still have me.”

Polterpup perked up, bounded out of the elevator and stood on his hind legs.

“You’ll help me find her?” asked Luigi.

“Arf!”

“Oh, yeah! Good puppy!” laughed Luigi. “Let’s go get that bad kitty.”

Polterpup led Luigi and Gooigi toward the showers, the latter two scanning the ground in front of them with their Dark-Lights to search for purple paw prints. Once inside the shower room, Polterpup pounced on a hamper, knocking aside the lid to reveal Polterkitty.

“You are a very, very bad kitty!” Luigi scolded, hands on his hips. “My doggie just wanted to play with you, and you were rude and dismissive to him! Apologize to him, right now!”

But Polterkitty just flounced away as Polterpup forlornly stared after her.

“Hey,” Luigi said softly. “She’s not worth it.”

Polterpup licked Luigi’s cheek and took off toward the locker room, with Gooigi and Luigi close behind. The two ghost hunters trained their Dark-Lights on the walls and floors around them, but they couldn’t find any pawprints. A woof from the ghost doggie caught their attention.

Luigi knelt down so he was at eye-level with the pet. “Where do you think she is?” he asked.

“Arf! Arf! Woof!”

“The weight room?”

“Woof!”

“Okeydokey—let’s take a look!”

The trio walked into the weight room, where Polterpup trotted over to the punching bag. Luigi strode up to the bag, raised his fists and gave the bag a good one-two punch, jostling Polterkitty from her hiding spot.

“There you are!” shouted Gooigi.

Polterkitty hissed at them and then jumped onto one of the light fixtures. Suddenly, her pursuers were surrounded by Goobs, Hammers and Slinkers. The ghostly kitty sat back on her haunches and watched as Luigi and Gooigi engaged the ghosts. Polterpup helped out in any way he could, from distracting the ghosts to latching onto the waistband of Luigi’s pants to help him pull back against any ghosts struggling against the suction. When a blow from a ghost knocked Luigi down, Polterpup would jump on him, a litany of licks and doggie kisses getting him back in the game. And when the ghosts were finally cleared out, Polterpup rewarded his master with a victory nuzzle.

They glanced up at Polterkitty, who fled. With Polterpup in the lead, they gave chase, cornering her at the front desk, where Luigi nailed her with a Strobulb flash.

With a growl, Polterkitty took on her menacing cat-beast form. Remembering his last encounter with her, Luigi faced away, holding down the button on his Strobulb as he listened to the cat-beast stalking toward him. He saw her shadow cast on the wall, approaching his shadow. He felt her sniff at the back of his neck, he heard her purr in satisfaction, he heard her snarl as she reared up to attack—

Polterpup woofed urgently in warning, and Luigi whirled, stunning Polterkitty again and suctioning one of her tails onto his vacuum’s nozzle. His heart did about a hundred as he slammed Polterkitty into the floor over and over, not stopping until the tail detached, squirming around a little before he wrestled it into the Poltergust.

He glared at Polterkitty, who gave him a haughty look and phased through the floorboards.

“She’s gone downstairs,” said Luigi.

He, Gooigi and Polterpup left the Fitness Center’s front office and took the elevator to the Spectral Catch, Luigi petting his ghost doggie the whole way.

Polterpup leaped out of the elevator as soon as it opened, and Luigi followed him inside the restaurant, Gooigi bringing up the rear. Both Polterkitty’s and Polterpup’s pawprints crisscrossed the bar area, the latter managing to startle Luigi every so often. But the ghost doggie also pointed out golden mice he could vacuum and was actively helping him search for Polterkitty, intently sniffing the ground like a trained police dog.

They walked out of the bar area and into the beach area, where they were accosted by Goobs, Oozers and snakes. Luigi and Gooigi dealt with the ghosts, while Polterpup lashed out at any snake who dared attack his master. Following this skirmish, Luigi and Gooigi vacuumed up mounds of sand, discovering Polterkitty hiding under one of them. Together, they flashed her with their Strobulbs, causing her to transform into the cat-beast and leap onto a branch of one of the palm trees.

Luigi faced away from her, Strobulb charging, his breathing quiet as Polterkitty toyed with him. She approached him, smelled him, growled and raised her claws to strike, only to be met with a fully-charged Strobulb to the face. In short order, Luigi slammed her all over the beach area, emerging with her second tail inside the Poltergust.

Polterkitty retreated as Luigi composed himself, turning around to see Polterpup wearing a despondent expression.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are you still upset over Polterkitty rejecting you?”

Polterpup whimpered.

“I think,” said Gooigi, “he wishes that he could do what she did—transform into a tall and imposing animal—to protect you.”

“Oh, puppy,” said Luigi. “Puppy—you’ve already protected me. You led me straight to the Poltergust, remember?”

He knelt down and threw his arms around Polterpup, entangling his fingers in his fur and whispering affectionate words to him. After about two minutes of this, the ghost puppy felt better, leading Luigi and Gooigi back into the bar area.

Polterkitty gave the trio a snooty look before escaping to the floor below them. Polterpup jumped down after her, while Luigi and Gooigi rode the elevator to the Twisted Suites.

En route, however—the elevator jerked abruptly, Luigi giving a sharp cry as three Goobs flew in. They tried to use the small space to box Luigi in, but he was able to stun them all at once, slamming them into submission. After he captured them, there was a pregnant pause before the elevator started moving again.

“I think it would be really great if that didn’t happen again,” Luigi said in between gasps.

Gooigi and Luigi reached the Twisted Suites, stepped off the elevator and tracked down Polterpup to a bathroom, where the paranormal puppy helped them uncover a Gold Goob. After defeating the Gold Goob, Polterpup led them to the lopsided room, where top hats were strewn everywhere.

“Polterkitty must be hiding under one of them,” said Luigi.

He and Gooigi exchanged a nod and simultaneously activated their Burst functions, knocking the hats into the air and exposing Polterkitty. Unfortunately, one of the hats fell on top of Luigi, briefly plunging him into darkness. In the ensuing confusion, Polterkitty made good her escape. After Gooigi and Polterpup helped Luigi knock the top hat off of him, they dashed off in pursuit.

Both Polterpup and the DLD led Luigi and Gooigi to the Twisted Suites’ stage area and onto the stage itself, where there was a long, wooden box with some knives stuck into it. The two ghost hunters each fired a Suction Shot onto the box and yanked it open to reveal Polterkitty hiding inside. Luigi stunned Polterkitty with the Strobulb, and she turned back into the cat-beast, blasting the wooden box to shreds and bounding onto the stage ceiling.

Luigi turned away, held down the Strobulb button and waited.

“No worries, Luigi!” crowed Gooigi. “I’ve got this one!”

He walked right up to Polterkitty and stunned her, allowing Luigi to grab her by her last tail and slam some manners into her, finally sucking her into the Poltergust once and for all.

The elevator button shot out of the nozzle and onto the stage, where Polterpup briefly played with it.

“Thanks, puppy,” said Luigi when Polterpup used his nose to nudge the elevator button into his hand.

He gave the paranormal pup a belly rub before feeding him one of those golden bones as a reward.

Triumphantly, the three walked back to the elevator and slid the new elevator button into place.

“A Dance Hall, eh?” mused Luigi when he studied the VB’s layout. “Well, I _do_ love to dance.”

After dropping off the duffel bag on the 5th floor, Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup boogied on over to the 14th floor—and toward the final elevator button.


	34. Pump Up the Jam

_So—a Dance Hall? That’s ace. Perhaps Luigi will put his enviable dancing skills to good use._ I _sure hope so._

_Yeah—he’s always been the better dancer. He does it often, so it’s not a surprise._

_But on this floor, he’s gonna be dancing for his life. Do you think Gooigi will be the perfect dance partner?_

_If he was created in Luigi’s likeness, then I have every confidence that he will. And after cutting a rug in the Dance Hall, they can get the last elevator button and boogie their way to the top—and to me._

_I wonder what type of ghost is holding that final button, though. A disco dancer? A pop singer?_

_Well, Luigi and company just walked out of the elevator. Let’s watch how this unfolds—_

**…**

The Dance Hall was lit all over by neon lights, as befitting a disco-themed floor. Muffled party music greeted Luigi and Gooigi upon their arrival, the kind of toe-tapping, head-bobbing music which always cheered up the former after a rotten day. Luigi found himself snapping his fingers to the engaging beat, and Gooigi did the same, his gooey body gently swaying to and fro.

“It appears that the ghosts are having a little party,” said Luigi. “You think we should crash it?”

“Well—I always love a good party,” said Gooigi, “and I’d hate to miss out on _this_ one.”

En route to the actual dance hall, Gooigi and Luigi explored the ticket office, the clothing store and the gift shop, collecting coins, gold bars, dollar bills and headphone-shaped gems along the way. There was even a whole stack of treasure in a secret underground vault! As they ascended the stairs to the dance floor, they were accosted by a Hammer and a Slinker, but they quickly defeated them and walked inside, where the party music came to an abrupt halt.

The large room was empty and silent when Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup arrived, the elevator button resting on an elevated dance floor. However, Luigi sensed that something was afoot.

“Stay here,” he said to his two companions before tiptoeing up the stairs and toward the elevator button.

Tentatively, he reached down and picked up the elevator button. “Hello there,” he said as he examined it. “I had to go through a lot to get to you.”

Unfortunately, he had to go through a lot more, as a cacophony of sound exploded from the mounted loudspeakers in front of him, literally blowing Luigi off the dance floor and jarring the elevator button from his hand.

“Whoa!” shouted Gooigi as he caught Luigi. “Are you all right?”

“I think so!” Luigi yelled through the slight ringing in his ears.

The party music started up again as a young disk jockey ghost emerged from behind the turntables, a large Afro over her eyes, bobbing her head to the music.

“How are you two doing tonight?” she asked amiably. “DJ Phantasmagloria here, but you can call me Gloria. Anyway, I have a question for you.”

“Okay,” said Luigi, the ringing in his ears having died down.

“Are you ready to paaaaaar-taaaayyy?” Gloria enthusiastically asked. “I’m keeping the music going for you all night long!”

“Actually, we just need that elevator button to get to the top of this hotel,” said Luigi. “Could you give it to us, please?”

Gloria studied him. “What’s your name, handsome?”

“I’m Luigi. And this is my gooey bro, Gooigi.”

“Well then, Luigi and Gooigi,” said Gloria. “The problem is—I would if I could. And I can’t. This round, marshmallowy cat with a crown and his lady gave me this elevator button, and they warned me that they shouldn’t allow it near you.”

“That ‘round, marshmallowy cat’ has spent the last 18 years torturing me, and he’s keeping my friends captive!” Luigi said hotly.

This gave Gloria pause. “Whoa, there,” she said. “That is not cool. Not cool—at all. But I don’t wanna get on this cat’s bad side, you dig?”

“Did he threaten you? Blackmail you? Look, Gloria, I can protect you,” said Luigi.

Gloria cocked her head. “With _that_ on your back? What is that, a Fischer-Price vacuum for the little, little cats?” She scoffed. “I’ll take my chances, thank you.”

“This is a _real_ vacuum,” said Luigi. “It stuns and vacuums ghosts.”

“Like me,” said Gloria.

“Yes, but—that’s not my point! The ‘round, marshmallowy cat’ you’re talking about is scared s—less of this thing because it’s powerful enough to stand up to him!”

This made Gloria smile.

“Ah—now you’re getting somewhere, Luigi. That’s shaping up to be one _groovy_ device on your back if it can scare off Mr. Marshmallow. But what about his lady?”

“Oh, yes—this is gonna teach her some manners, too,” said Luigi.

Gloria laughed. “All right! People like you would be the life of the party in _my_ day. But I still can’t _give_ you this button, Luigi. I’d love to help you and your imperiled compadres, but there’s simply nothing I can do. And that’s the way it is.”

Now, it was Luigi’s turn to smile.

“Okeydokey,” he said. “We’ll dance for it, then. How does that sound?”

Gloria’s face split in a grin. “Oh, Luigi—that sounds deeee-lightful!” she sang out. “My dance crew hasn’t had a decent dance-off in years!”

“You have a dance crew?” asked Luigi.

“Yes, I do. Let’s meet them!” Gloria said brightly.

Eight Goobs, clad in red jackets with a gold trim and red pants, materialized on the dance floor. The Goob in the middle picked up the elevator button, slid it into their pocket and busted a few moves as the other seven dabbed.

“Okay,” said Gloria. “Here’s the dealio. If you can out-dance my Goob Crew, then you can have the button, and we’ll all go quietly into that vacuum. But if you can’t, then we keep the button.”

“And what happens to me?” asked Luigi.

“I—haven’t decided yet,” purred Gloria, eating him up with her eyes.

She floated over to a gold coin and picked it up, balancing it on the juncture between her thumb and forefinger. “Call it.”

“Heads,” said Luigi.

“Heads,” said Gooigi.

The lead Goob dancer chattered something.

“They say ‘tails’,” said Gloria, flipping the coin. “And ‘tails’ it is.”

The Goob Crew cheered and high-fived.

“All right, all right, all right!” laughed Gloria. “Let’s start burning up this floor!”

“Pump Up the Jam” by Technotronic began to play as the Goob Crew spread out on the dance floor. And then they began to dance, perfectly synchronized, busting out some old-school breakdancing moves. They flipped, they twisted, they spun and they kicked their “legs” out and around them. Of course, the Goobs could do more impressive stunts as well, as the fact that they were ghosts made their bodies more flexible.

As Luigi watched, he snapped his fingers along to the beat, patiently awaiting his turn to show these Goobs how to _really_ light up the floor. However, he wasn’t just watching them dance—he was observing the way they passed the elevator button from one Goob to another during their routine. Covertly, he nudged Gooigi, and the gooey humanoid gave a quiet hum, signaling to Luigi that he was also paying attention to the elevator button.

The song finished, and the Goobs struck a pose, as if defying Luigi to dance better than them.

“Let’s give them a hand!” cheered Gloria. “My Goob Crew!”

The Goob Crew took a bow and then stood off to one side of the dance floor.

Luigi shrugged off the Poltergust, set it beside the steps, and gave Gooigi a secret wink as he stepped onto the dance floor, rolling his shoulders.

“All right, Luigi,” said Gloria. “Let’s see what you got!”

She put on “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base, and all of the nervous energy Luigi had been storing inside him ignited at once. His body rocked and swayed to the driving rhythm, his hips rolling, his upper body swishing and twisting as his shuffling feet kept time. His eyes slid over to Gooigi’s for a second, and then they closed, allowing the rest of his energy to float to the surface. The Goobs stood rooted in their spots, enviously watching as their opponent moved his body in ways they could only _dream_ about. Polterpup sat at the base of the dance floor, happily watching his master bust his moves. And Gooigi silently moved onto the dance floor, unnoticed by the distracted Goobs, his own body bobbing and oscillating to the music as he pinpointed the Goob who had the elevator button. Then, he sidled up to that Goob, blending in perfectly with the octet as they continued to study Luigi.

Luigi gave his body a twirl, peeping one eye open to look at Gooigi. In response, Gooigi pointed at the Goob he stood beside, as if to confirm that he’d made the correct selection. Without dropping his rhythm, Luigi responded with a slight nod—and then Gooigi pounced! He used Burst to knock the hood off the Goob’s head, stunned them and commenced to vacuum them up, slamming them against the dance floor in time with the music. In seconds, Gooigi had the Goob in his Poltergust, the elevator button shooting out of the nozzle—and into the hand of another member of the Goob crew.

“Stylish!” laughed Gloria. “Okay, Goob Crew—answer them back!”

Luigi yielded the dance floor to the Goob Crew, slid his Poltergust back on and caught his breath as Gloria put on an Aqua song.

The Goob Crew launched into another intricate dance routine as “Lollipop (Candyman)” blared from the mounted loudspeakers. Luigi and Gooigi stood together, snapping their fingers and bopping to the beat, watching the seven remaining Goobs play hot potato with the elevator button. When they were finished, Gooigi nodded to Luigi, who slid the Poltergust back off and strode back onto the dance floor as Gooigi sneaked toward the Goob Crew.

The next song Gloria chose was “It Feels So Good” by Sonique. Albeit still a little winded from the previous round, Luigi more than kept up with the slightly faster tempo, rolling his shoulders, undulating his body and swiveling his hips, his eyes firmly on Gloria as he danced. He had her full attention, and he had the Goob Crew’s undivided attention, as well, so they didn’t see Gooigi coming, mingling with the dancers, spotting the Goob holding the elevator button, confirming it with Luigi, and then stunning, slamming and capturing that Goob.

Luigi finished his dance with a flourish and a little bow, and Gloria clapped. “You know what you’re doing, I’ll give you that,” she said. “Your footwork is out of sight. But we’re not done yet. Take it away, Goob Crew!”

And so, the dance-off went on for six more rounds, Gloria playing the hottest dance hits from the 90s and early 2000s for each turn. “Around the World” by Daft Punk. “Blue” by Eiffel 65. “Let the Beat Go On” by Dr. Alban. “Roses are Red” by Aqua. “What is Love” by Haddaway. “Rhythm is a Dancer” by Snap. “Around the World” by ATC. And many, many more. During the Goob Crew’s turns, Luigi and Gooigi would watch their opponents toss the elevator button from dancer to dancer. And during Luigi’s turn, he’d distract the ghosts with his equal parts steamy and energetic dance moves while Gooigi sneaked up on the Goob holding the elevator button. One by one, the gooey humanoid captured them all. And after he captured the last Goob dancer, the elevator button shot out of his vacuum—only for Gloria to expertly catch it.

“You two are grabbing my heart!” she cried. “Seriously!” She pocketed the elevator button, set down her headphones and joined Luigi and Gooigi on the dance floor. “Oh, and, uh—remember when I said I’d let you have the elevator button if you bested my Goob Crew in a dance-off? I lied.”

“I should’ve known,” said Luigi.

“You’ll have to out-dance _me_ , too!” added Gloria as she, too, began to dance.

“You’re on,” said Luigi.

A mixtape of 90s dance hits began playing on the speakers as Luigi and Gloria faced off, dancing hard and fierce. However, Gloria wasn’t above playing dirty, casually tossing discs at Luigi during certain points of her dance. Not missing a beat, Luigi fluidly dodged them, deciding that if she was going to be crafty, then he should be crafty, too. At one point in his own dance, he scooped the Poltergust up and slid it back on, knocking Gloria’s discs off course with Burst. Once, he danced close to her before activating the Burst function, sending her Afro flying into the air. It was a wig! Quickly, Luigi stunned the ghostly DJ, getting several slams in before she broke free, and the dance-off continued, growing more heated by the minute.

Gooigi stood nearby, watching in awe and admiration. “They’re dance-fighting,” he said to Polterpup.

Gloria laughed heartily as Luigi wound his hips, his torso oozing with sweat. “Getting breathless yet?” she asked.

Luigi spun his vacuum’s nozzle and dropped his body as another disc came his way. “Not even close,” he replied.

“This party can go on all night if it needs to,” smiled Gloria.

“Let it,” breathed Luigi.

He twirled in place a few times and did some backflips, activating Burst on the last backflip and finishing with a one-handed handstand, using the other hand to flash the Strobulb at Gloria. Cartwheeling to his feet, he once again slammed his opponent into the dance floor, timing his slams with the music’s tempo.

Again, Gloria broke free, and the two of them began to dance like they’d never danced before, Gooigi and Polterpup cheering Luigi on. A few of Gloria’s disks wound up nicking the long-suffering ghost-wrangler, but he ignored the sting and just kept breaking his body down. This climactic dance-off continued for three more rounds, and on that last round, a No Doubt song started to play. No Doubt was one of Luigi’s favorite musical groups, by the way.

With newfound energy, Luigi surprised and stunned Gloria one last time, soundly defeating her after five more slams. Despite her situation, the ghostly DJ retained a sunny disposition, even pulling off several more dance moves.

“Thanks for coming!” she said cheerily. “You all have a great night!”

And with that, she disappeared into the Poltergust.

The nozzle shuddered, and out came the elevator button—the final elevator button. Luigi skipped over, picked it up and let loose with a few celebratory dance moves.

“Groovy!” he exclaimed, triumphantly holding up the button.

Gooigi and Polterpup dashed up onto the floor, congratulating Luigi.

“That was the _best_ dancing I’ve ever seen!” gushed Gooigi. “What’s your secret?”

“Lots of practice,” Luigi replied.

They turned as another of those sockets emerged from one of the floor’s tiles. When Luigi walked over, that electrical current attached itself to the Poltergust, and with a mighty whoop, he let the Super Suction rip, tearing away the loudspeakers and the turntable to reveal a dressing room of sorts. Or maybe it was an office. Luigi and Gooigi couldn’t tell.

The Super Suction powered off, and Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup explored the room they’d uncovered. Flashing a panel at one of the records on the wall opened up a seating area for them to explore. In total, they walked away with three gems, one of them acquired after defeating a Gem Goob.

On their way back to the elevator, however, they were attacked by several Goobs. Using the leftover adrenaline from the dance-off, Luigi defeated them all in record time, with assists from Gooigi and Polterpup. Nothing was stopping him now—nothing!

“Wait!” said Gooigi as Luigi was about to call the elevator. “Something’s—tingling.”

“A Boo?” asked Luigi.

“A Boo,” replied Gooigi.

Gooigi took Luigi’s hand and led him to the end of the hall, where he began jiggling and vibrating. The gooey humanoid then pointed at one of the trashcans, which Luigi jostled to reveal the Boo.

“’Sup, dude? The name’s Boosician! Got a minute to listen to my mixtape?”

“No,” said Luigi, capturing the Boo in his own unique way.

“And—that’s all of them!” Gooigi announced. “We’ve captured all of the Boos! Rescuing Mario and Peach will be considerably easier now!”

“Right you are,” said Luigi, “but before we head to the last floor, I should stop at the Lab and empty the Poltergust. Oh, and maybe put some clothes on, too.”

Gooigi nodded. “I’ll feel more comfortable with those Boos safely locked away.”

“We’ll stop at the Lab first,” said Luigi. “Then, we’ll stop at my room, and then we’ll pay Morty one last visit before taking on the final floor.”

“Okeydokey,” said Gooigi.

They rode the elevator to the basement floor, humming a made-up tune in sync.


	35. Silent Running

“ _Please_ tell me that you have a training area of sorts in here,” was the first thing the green-capped ghost hunter said upon entering Gadd’s lab.

“Why, yes,” said the Professor. “Yes, there is. Follow me.”

Gadd showed Luigi to the Lab’s training area, where the latter shut himself in for the next forty-five minutes or so. Gooigi, Polterpup and Gadd watched from the area’s window as he fired off Suction Shots at the bullseyes and cutouts in front of him, zeroing in on the cutouts in Hellen’s and King Boo’s likenesses. He whirled on the simulation ghosts that accosted him, stunning them and slamming them around. His face was fierce, his eyes snapped and sparked, and he was sweating rivulets.

Finally, Luigi stood there in the middle of the room, chest heaving, jaw clenched, before adjusting his cap and exiting the training area.

He purchased a bagel with cream cheese and some cranberry juice from the shop, eating the small meal in silence. After wiping the cream cheese from his lips, he walked over to Gadd’s vault and emptied the Poltergust.

“Gooigi told me that you captured all of the Boos,” said Gadd.

“I did,” Luigi replied.

Gadd laughed and clapped his hands. “I knew you could do it, youngster!” he cried. “I have something to help you celebrate this achievement—a new flashlight!”

The Professor held up the flashlight for his mentee to see. “It doesn’t do much, but it can project a Boo on the walls.”

Luigi wasted no time equipping the Poltergust with the new flashlight. “Thanks,” he said. “It’s the thought that counts.”

“You’re welcome,” said Gadd.

“Have you reached the last floor?” asked Chad.

“I have,” replied Luigi. “I’m gonna make a few stops, and then I’m heading up there.”

“They’re waiting for you,” Brad said quietly.

“Who? King Boo and Hellen?”

“Yeah.”

“And so is Mario,” Thad piped up, “and our Princess. Please, bring them back safely.”

“I will. I swear to you, I will. Professor…?”

“Yes, sonny?”

“When I exit this lab, I’m not coming back until Mario and Peach are rescued and their captors are defeated,” said Luigi.

“I know,” said Gadd.

“And if something happens—then don’t come back for me.”

“Luigi, my boy…!”

“Do. Not. Come. Back. For. Me.”

Gadd facepalmed. “If you die…”

“I’m not gonna die. But should the worst happen…”

“I’m telling you that if King Boo and Hellen do something to you, then I’ll feel like it’s on me,” Gadd explained. “I don’t need that on my conscience.”

Luigi smiled. “You always been such a good father figure to me,” he said, “and for all those times you put me in scary and dangerous situations—I forgive you.”

Those three words lifted most, if not all, of the weight from the elderly Professor’s shoulders.

Luigi drew Gadd in for a hug. “Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me,” he said.

“My pleasure, of course,” said Gadd.

Then, Luigi hugged each of the Toad retainers.

“We need to thank you, too,” sniffled Thad, “for defending us, defending our kingdom, defending our Princess—and defending your bro. I don’t think he would’ve held off Koopa for 34 straight years without you.”

“It was about time you noticed,” Luigi said good-naturedly.

Finally, he peered at the boss ghosts he’d captured thus far.

“You’re going after them?” asked Steward.

“Yeah,” replied Luigi.

“Good luck,” Brea said softly.

“Thanks,” said Luigi.

“Should you not make it, I shall have ballads written to honor your sacrifice,” said King MacFrights.

“I _will_ make it,” said Luigi, “but—thank you.”

“You have your own thing,” said Kruller. “Do what you gotta do, all right?”

“All right.”

“Ug believes in you!” Ug chimed in, giving Luigi a thumbs-up.

“Kick [bleep] and take names!” cheered Nikki.

“Take what you can, and give nothing back!” said Captain Fishhook.

“You can do it, Luigi!” the rest of the boss ghosts shouted in unison, except for Wolfgeist, who was still composing his latest music piece.

However, Wolfgeist _did_ look up from his work long enough to give Luigi a wink.

Luigi beamed at them. “I can do this,” he said. “I _will_ do this.”

“Whatever it takes,” chorused the three Toads.

“Whatever it takes,” Luigi responded in a low voice.

He squared his shoulders, turned on his heel and walked out of the Lab. After buying some more Golden Bones, Gooigi followed him, Polterpup at his heels.

Gadd sank into his swivel chair, lowered his head and began to pray, Thad, Brad and Chad praying with him.

**…**

As planned, Luigi made a stop at his hotel suite, where he took a quick, invigorating shower and changed into his signature green and blue getup. En route, he was accosted by some Goob maids, but all they did was grab him, give him a good tickle with their feather dusters and release him unharmed. He chose not to bother with them, saving his energy for the two psychos responsible for this mess.

After devouring a few cookies he’d brought with him and restocking on water and first-aid supplies, Luigi was ready to go. His next stop was at Paranormal Productions, where Morty still relaxed in his office.

“I’m approaching the final stretch,” Luigi told him. “Those two have my last remaining friends up there, and I’m coming for them.”

“Can I do anything?” asked Morty.

“The best you can do is stay here, where it’s safe,” said Luigi. “If King Boo and Hellen find out that you betrayed them, then it’ll be Game Over for you.”

“You don’t have to remind me,” said Morty.

“When all is said and done—my friends and I will understandably want to get out of here fast,” said Luigi, “so I won’t have the chance to say a proper goodbye. And if things go wrong, then I definitely won’t have a chance. What I’m saying is—win or lose, this is it. It’s all come down to this.”

“Yes, it has,” said Morty. “I’m glad I cast you in my _magnum opus_. You’re a good man. A _good_ man.”

“But you have my number, and I have yours,” said Luigi, “so if things go right, then at least we can call each other from time to time.”

“I’d like that,” said Morty.

“Listen,” said Luigi, “I need to borrow your filming equipment for a second. Do you have anything that films in color?”

“I do,” said Morty.

Morty, Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup walked over to the main soundstage, where the ghostly director had his crew disassemble the city set and put up a simple background of a starry sky. Luigi dragged over a chair, placed it in front of the starry background and took a seat as Gooigi helped Morty set up the camera.

“Are we ready?” asked Morty.

“Yes,” said Luigi. “Roll the camera, please.”

Morty obliged, and Luigi looked deeply into the camera and began to speak.

**…**

When Luigi was finished, he rose, put the chair back where he found it and turned to Morty.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Don’t mention it,” replied Morty.

The two hugged, and then Luigi looked into Morty’s eyes.

“Don’t forget me,” he said.

“I won’t,” promised Morty. “Count on it.”

They separated, and Luigi strode purposefully toward the elevator.

It was time to tackle the last floor.

**…**

_Luigi—you made it. Against all odds, you made it. Now, the real fight begins. The fight for me—and for Peach. My Bro—I can’t wait to be in your arms again!_

“Steady, Big Bro,” said Luigi as he rode the elevator to the final floor. “Steady. I’m heading up there now. I’m getting you out of this. One way or another.”

_Be careful. Hellen’s security system is advanced, and—her choice of architecture will creep you out._

“Thanks for the warning.”

_Oh, Bro—_

“It’s gonna be okay, Mario. It’s gonna be okay. You have to be strong. You _have_ to. Show her no weakness, no fear.”

_I know_.

**…**

_Ding!_

The elevator arrived on the final floor, and the doors slid open to reveal a palatial penthouse. All around him were white cushions and pillows made to look like King Boo.

“Wow,” breathed Luigi. “My bro wasn’t lying about the creepy part.”

_Would I_ ever _lie to you_?

Determinedly, Luigi stepped out of the elevator and walked into what appeared to be a home theater, with a large screen mounted behind him. As he ventured into the home theater, the screen came to life, showing an image of Hellen.

Luigi’s heart leaped into his throat.

Hellen saw the plumber and let out a huff. “How could my staff be so f—ing incompetent?!” she snapped. “There’s no way Luigi should’ve gotten this far!”

“I’m right here, Hellen,” said Luigi.

Hellen clammed up, smirking at him. “I suppose I underestimated you and that Professor—just a tad,” she conceded. “Congratulations on making it all the way up here—but that doesn’t mean you’ve won!”

“What makes you think that?” Luigi demanded of her.

“This could actually work out for the best,” chortled Hellen. “You, Luigi, are about to become the ultimate gift! Once I capture you and bring you to my King, then he’ll be absolutely smitten with me!”

“Over my dead body,” growled Luigi.

“Hm. Even better—but I think King Boo will prefer you alive—for now,” said Hellen.

“Don’t take the bait,” Gooigi whispered to Luigi.

“Even better—he’ll likely display you next to _this_ painting!” Hellen went on, and the camera panned out, revealing a portrait hanging over her security monitors.

_Mario’s portrait!_

“ _Dio Omnipotente_! Mario!” gasped Luigi.

Mario’s hair was in slight disarray, and his pupils were slightly dilated. The fluorescent lipstick marks were still there, and they seemed to glow ominously in the dim light. It didn’t take quantum physics for Luigi to figure out that those lipstick marks—were from Hellen.

“You piece of [bleep]. What did you do to him?!” Luigi exclaimed.

“Nothing he didn’t enjoy, I assure you,” said Hellen.

Luigi gazed at Hellen with undiluted loathing and spite.

“That’s right, Luigi,” Hellen sang out. “I have him. _Now come and get him_.”

Luigi didn’t yell at Hellen. He didn’t scream at her. He didn’t curse her out. Instead, he addressed her in a tone one would use while discussing traffic or the weather.

“Hellen Gravely…”

“That’s my name,” said Hellen. “Don’t wear it out.”

“When I get up there—you are in for a _world_ of pain.”

_Ooooh—now you’ve f—ed up, Hellen. Now you’ve f—ed up._

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly sexy when you’re riled up?” asked Hellen. “I’m getting _so_ wet right now—and I’m a ghost. Anyway, I’ll be waiting for you in anticipation!”

Hellen powdered her face, and then the screen went blank.

“M—M—Mario…”

_Shh. She can’t frighten me. I can_ feel _you._

“I can feel you, too. Now, I just want you to breathe, okay? It’s almost over.”

_Okeydokey._

Gooigi slipped through a pipe and pulled down a chain which raised the screen, revealing a set of double doors, which Luigi entered.

And as Luigi briskly strode deeper into the penthouse, he noticed that some of the walls, furniture and flooring were modeled off of King Boo. There were gems shaped like him. There were statues, sculptures and portraits of him lining the walls. The man in green caught a glimpse of just how _obsessed_ Hellen was with King Boo. This was a woman who’d do anything to prove herself to him—even invite six innocent people to a hotel, and then trap and torture them!

“I have to stop her,” Luigi said under his breath as he quietly moved down the hall, fighting ghosts left and right. “I have to stop her.”

He stepped into a small library, where he saw a key topped with a jewel sitting in a case. Gooigi caught up to him, catching his breath, and stopped his flesh-and-blood counterpart before he could proceed further.

“Something’s up,” said Gooigi, activating Burst.

The Burst function blew aside a cloud of dust, revealing rows of red-lasers crisscrossing the area.

“Well, there’s the advanced security system Mario was talking about,” said Luigi.

Carefully, the ghost hunters made their way through the library and down the spiral staircase, where there was a circuit box with a red circle on it. Luigi fired a Suction Shot at the box and yanked it away, disabling the lasers.

_I knew you’d find your way around that. Now keep going!_

Luigi, Gooigi and Polterpup headed back upstairs, where the former grabbed the key, pocketed it and exited the library.

In the hallway, two Hiders bombarded him with projectiles, and a Hammer cracked their knuckles and charged at him. Luigi and Gooigi wound up knocked down several times, the former taking many hits. But Luigi hit back harder, stunning all of the ghosts and slamming them into that creepy furniture.

“For my bro,” he whispered. “For my bro.”

He defeated the ghosts and used the DLD to reveal a hidden door to some sort of sitting room. At this point, it was growing harder for Gooigi and Polterpup to keep up with him.

“Hey! Wait up!” Gooigi exclaimed as Luigi searched the sitting room top to bottom.

“That key in the library,” Luigi said urgently. “It’s smaller than the normal keys we’ve come across. My gut tells me that there are more of them around here.”

He blew on a windmill-like structure above another painting, and Gooigi used his vacuum to spin a record on a turntable. The sofa in the middle of the room flipped over, revealing a series of compartments. One compartment contained a model of the Gloomy Manor, with a model of the Dark Moon floating above it. Another compartment had a switch, which Gooigi pulled down to disable the security lasers.

A third compartment held a key with a green gem.

Luigi gazed at the key and nodded. “I knew it,” he said.

After taking the key, Luigi walked back out into the hallway, where he noticed a large, circular door with King Boo’s face on it. The tongue lolled out, and on that tongue were four small holes.

“Perfect!” Luigi exclaimed. “That must be what those keys unlock! Let’s go find the other two!”

“Right behind you!” Gooigi chimed in.

He hurried back into the hallway and used the DLD to uncover the door to Hellen’s bedroom, a.k.a. the master bedroom. There, he saw pillows in King Boo’s likeness, several dresses, lots of makeup cases—and a shattered vanity mirror. While vacuuming the place top to bottom, Luigi wound up hit by a laser, but he brushed it off as if it were a mere mosquito bite. With some luck, he located a switch, which caused the bed to flip over into a metal platform which tilted in both directions.

Gooigi and Luigi stood on both ends of the platform, shuffling forward and backward to keep it balanced as it ascended. First, Gooigi pulled a lever which disabled the lasers, and then Luigi grabbed a key topped with a purple jewel.

“One more to go,” he said.

The next room he explored was Hellen’s bathroom, complete with a Jacuzzi, a walk-in shower, a steam room, a sauna—and a complex web of lasers. Luigi had to vault over these lasers, which was trickier than it looked, in order to reach the shut-off switch. The lasers nicked him three times before he finally disabled them, and after he captured some Gold Goobs relaxing in the sauna, he acquired a fourth key, topped with a blue gem.

“Yes!” Luigi exclaimed, holding up the key. “I did it!”

Triumphantly, Luigi exited the bathroom with Gooigi and Polterpup in tow, headed for the door with King Boo’s face. But as he stepped toward it, those pink gates slammed down from all sides, boxing him in!

He readied the Poltergust. And then—

Dozens upon dozens of ghosts materialized to his left, to his right, above him and behind him, attacking without a word of prelude. Goobs, Hammers, Slinkers, Oozers, Mini Goobs, Mini Hammers—all of these ghosts had nothing left to lose, and because of that little fact, they weren’t going easy on Luigi anymore. But the man in green brandished his Poltergust and became a one-man army against these hordes of ghosts, and when Gooigi jumped in to help, the one-man army became a two-man army. The ghosts could care less about the gooey humanoid, however, focusing most of their ire on Luigi. The green-clad ghost wrangler was punched, rammed, pelted with hard projectiles and knocked and flung around. Even the Mini Goobs had lost their playful nature and were no longer trying to tickle him, throwing punches at him along with everyone else.

Turning up his music as loud as he could bear, Luigi plunged into the fray with a full heart, letting loose with Strobulb flashes, Suction Shots, Bursts and slams. Back-to-back with Gooigi, he was cleaning house, getting rid of every Goob, Hammer, Oozer, Slinker and any other ghost standing between him and what he knew now was the door to Hellen’s office! His trusty Poltergust G-00, formerly just a secret weapon in a fighting tournament, was now busting up this haunted zoo! He was able to stun and capture five or six ghosts at a time, showing them the same mercy they showed him throughout this ordeal—none. Lasers trailed about the floor, lasers he had to vault over with Burst, but even those lasers wouldn’t stop him. Adrenaline roared through his system, and he silently spoke the four words which had become his survival mantra when this whole mess started.

_Do it for him._

_For Mario._

_For my bro._

_Do it for him._

_Do it for him._

_Do. It. For. Him._

Just like in the lab’s training area earlier, Luigi was unstoppable. He breathed harshly, in through his nose and out through his mouth, as the ghosts surrounded him in a pincer move and slowly closed in. With aid from Gooigi, he solved that problem by stunning the ghosts closest to him and slamming them into the rest of the group, subduing them in droves. And when a ghostly fist slammed into him and dropped him to the cold, hard linoleum floor, stars would flash across his vision, but he’d also see Mario, sealed behind that portrait, covered in bruises and lipstick stains, waiting, hoping. And so, Luigi detached himself from everything else except for that one goal—saving his bro and getting the rest of his loved ones to safety.

_One way or another._

_Whatever it takes._

_Do it for him—no. Do it for **them**._

Lasers zipped and zinged. The ghosts tried to dogpile him. And his Strobulb and Gooigi’s Strobulb lit up the night like dual beacons of hope. He was winded and sticky and throbbing and in oh so much pain, but he just kept breathing. Just kept holding on. Just kept digging in his heels, literally and figuratively, and capturing every last ghost in sight. By now, he was loudly singing along to the music on his phone, and he found that it further stirred him into action.

With a mighty grunt, he heaved a Hammer to the floor so forcefully that the ground shook. The remaining ghosts were blown back, but they moved back in, savagely assailing the man in green. But alas, their efforts had grown increasingly futile. They were all destined for the confines of the Poltergust G-00—and their rhymes-with-witch of a boss would follow them soon after!

“ _I’m coming for you, Mario!!_ ” he hollered, so fiercely that his voice nearly broke.

_I know you are, Luigi. I know you are._

**Take the children and yourself  
And hide out in the cellar  
By now the fighting will be close at hand  
Don't believe the church and state  
And everything they tell you  
Believe in me, I'm with the high command**

**Can you hear me, can you hear me running?  
Can you hear me running, can you hear me calling you?  
Can you hear me, can you hear me running?  
Can you hear me running, can you hear me calling you?**

**There's a gun and ammunition  
Just inside the doorway  
Use it only in emergency  
Better you should pray to God  
The Father and the Spirit  
Will guide you and protect from up here**

**Can you hear me, can you hear me running?  
Can you hear me running, can you hear me calling you?  
Can you hear me, can you hear me running?  
Can you hear me running, can you hear me calling you?**

**Swear allegiance to the flag  
Whatever flag they offer  
Never hint at what you really feel  
Teach the children quietly  
For some day sons and daughters  
Will rise up and fight while we stand still**

**Can you hear me, can you hear me running?  
Can you hear me running, can you hear me calling you?  
Can you hear me, can you hear me running?  
Can you hear me running, can you hear me calling you?**

**Can you hear me, can you hear me running (can you hear me calling you?)  
Can you hear me hear running, can you hear me calling you?  
(Can you hear me running) Can hear me running (can you hear me calling you)?  
Can you hear me  
Hear me calling you  
(Can you hear me running) hear me running, babe  
Can you hear me running (hear me running)  
Calling you**

**-Mike + The Mechanics, “Silent Running”**


	36. I'm on Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong sexual content ahead! It's consensual, but it may be unsettling to some because...well, you'll see...

_What’s the matter, Hellen? Is my bro proving you wrong for the umpteenth time, hm? Well, you’re in good company. Your little boyfriend made the same mistake twice before he pulled_ this _stunt. And did I tell you that he has a friend who’s also underestimated my bro? Luckily, that reptile is wising up as of late, but we’re getting off topic here. So you can unnerve me and flirt with me all you want—my bro is still gonna wipe the floor with you and get me out of this godforsaken place!_

_Heads up, Mario—King Boo is on his way back down. Luigi may have to face a dastardly duo—for real, this time!_

_Are you still doing all right,_ amore _?_

_As all right as I can be under these circumstances. I’m glad he’s leaving me alone for a while—he’s a f—ing creep. Taunting me about you and Luigi, licking the canvas—his appendages wandering. I’ll take Koopa any day of the week!_

_You said it. However, if this is indeed gearing up to be a two-on-one battle, then we’ll have to give him as much love and strength as we can! Are you with me?_

_Till the end, Mario. Till the end._

**…**

Hellen gave a low growl as she listened to the battle raging in her penthouse hallway. He was winning, that plumber was winning, even as this floor was hurling everything but the kitchen sink at him! Her lasers couldn’t stop him, the complex puzzles couldn’t stop him, and now the waves and waves of ghosts she just dispatched weren’t stopping him. Luigi was slamming and vacuuming his way through all of them, albeit this was cushioned a bit by the periodic sounds of his body striking the floor and the little pained noises he sometimes made. But he was up in no time, singing along to a Mike + The Mechanics song and shouting fiercely, defiantly, even.

“ _I’m coming for you, Mario!!!”_ she heard him exclaim, his voice almost breaking from the ferocity of the shout.

Hellen turned to Mario’s painting, slithering against it. “What’s the big deal, Mario?” she asked. “That brother of yours just—won’t—die.”

She looked into the immobilized face and thought she saw _something_ in Mario’s eyes—a _glint_. He must’ve thought that she was slow in the head, that she couldn’t see it, but she did, clearer than the night sky outside. She _saw_ what was in his eyes.

_Glee_.

“Oh, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” she snarled, shoving her face toward the painting. “You’re enjoying my suffering, and you’re enjoying my King’s suffering! You find this, funny, don’t you? Well, you won’t be laughing for long, once I get your beloved brother in a portrait frame!”

In frustration, Hellen once again slithered and rubbed her body along Mario’s portrait, enjoying the friction. “I’ll give you something to enjoy, you pudgy little…”

“Hellen?”

Hellen stopped and quickly fixed her hair and makeup as King Boo floated into the room. “My King? Wha…?”

“That plumber is right outside your door,” said the King. “Don’t you hear him?”

“Yeah, but…”

“I need to get you out of here,” said King Boo. “Grab Mario’s painting, and follow me to the roof.”

“I’m not running from that green a—hole!” cried Hellen. “I’m facing him down like a _true_ ghost!”

“Then we’ll face him together,” said King Boo, taking Hellen’s hand.

Hellen blushed. “Actually—I have a better idea,” she said.

“Do tell.”

“I’m gonna bring both Mario Bros to you,” grinned Hellen. “Have you heard ‘The Trout’, by Schubert? A fisherman has trouble catching an elusive fish. So, he muddies the water, confuses the fish, and the fish doesn’t realize until too late that he’s swum right into a trap.” She laughed. “I’m the fisherman, Luigi is the fish—and Mario’s the bait.”

Softly, King Boo sang one stanza of “The Trout” before turning to Hellen. “I like it, Ms. G,” he said, “but what if things go wrong, and he turns the tables on you?”

“Then you fall back on your little contingency plan,” said Hellen. “Use Luigi’s desire to protect his loved ones against him. Make him bleed for it.”

A twisted grin split across King Boo’s features. “Hellen,” he said, “you just gave me an idea for _another_ contingency plan!”

“Which is…?”

King Boo wagged his appendage. “Ah, ah, ah—it’s top secret,” he chided, “but I _do_ have something to show you.”

A lavender rapier floated toward him, and he carefully took it and held it out to Hellen.

“I didn’t know you had a sword,” said Hellen.

“It was given to me during my coronation in 1955,” King Boo explained. “I’ve saved it for a rainy day—and I guess the rainy day has finally arrived.”

“Mind if I give that a kiss?” asked Hellen.

“Sure,” replied the King. “Just be careful.”

Hellen leaned down and blotted her lips on the flat part of the rapier. “It’s for luck,” she said.

“Thank you,” said King Boo. “I’ll let you kiss it again after we meet up on the roof—so you can taste Luigi’s blood.”

Hellen laughed.

“Here’s the plan,” said King Boo. “When Luigi comes at you with his vacuum blazing, you come at _him_ with the proverbial guns blazing. If you can’t subdue him, then you can at least hold him off long enough for me to put the finishing touches on my new and improved contingency operation. Win or lose—I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Win or lose—I guess this is goodbye, huh?”

“For now,” smirked King Boo.

Hellen threw her arms around King Boo and kissed him, and he put his appendages on her waist, pulling her closer.

Then, his appendages were fumbling with her dress straps as he undid them, pushing the garment down to her tail as she shrugged off her stole. He kissed her again and again before moving his tongue lower. They made love, if you could call it that, against the wall of Hellen’s office, next to Mario’s painting, as the battle raged on outside.

**…**

“No—no, no!” yelled Luigi, kicking and struggling. “Where are you taking me?!”

“You need to calm down,” said Gooigi, carrying Luigi toward Hellen’s bedroom.

“But—M—Mario—he—he…”

“You’re in no condition to face Hellen right now,” Gooigi cut him off.

Luigi had held his ground against the attacking ghosts and won, but Gooigi was right. He was wired and emotionally riled up, something Hellen would use against him. He was bruised from the ghosts’ punches and projectiles, burned from the lasers and bleeding. He was—he was—he was at the end of his rope.

When they reached the door to Hellen’s room, Gooigi just held Luigi until his shaking died down.

“Er—could you…?” Gooigi softly asked, indicating the doorknob.

“Fine,” huffed Luigi, twisting the doorknob and pushing open the door to the Master Bedroom.

Gooigi helped Luigi toward the bed. Once the latter slid off his Poltergust and kicked off his shoes, the former had him lay on his back. As Luigi did so, staring at the ceiling, the gooey humanoid grabbed the salve, disinfectant and bandages and made several cold compresses.

“A little music, maybe?” suggested Gooigi as he took in his companion’s stressed state.

“Go ahead,” said Luigi.

Gooigi padded over to Hellen’s stereo system, removed the CD inside and put in a new one before pressing “play”.

Luigi then unhooked his overall straps and took off his shirt. Once Gooigi shifted the Goo on his body to mimic Luigi’s appearance, he set to work accessing the wounds. He tended to the burns first, soothing them with a cold compress before applying the disinfectant and bandages. Then, he carefully wiped off the blood before addressing any cuts Luigi had sustained during the throwdown. And finally, he tended to the bruises.

“Is this really necessary?” Luigi asked quietly.

_Yes, it is, Bro. Trust him. You need to settle down and steady your nerves before the big fight. And don’t forget—you have to confront_ him _after confronting Hellen._

“But every second I spend in here…”

_…is another second that will benefit you. When Hellen was calling you, and when she gave you that message in her home theater, she was trying to get a rise out of you, and she nearly succeeded. She wants you to go in there, all yelling and hysterical and p—ed off and ready to throw punches, because she knows you won’t think straight. All Gooigi is asking you to do is to clear your head before fighting her. Can you do that for me?_

“Yes.”

_Okeydokey. I’ll see you in a minute…_

“How can you do that?” asked Gooigi. “Talk to Mario?”

“We just—can. That’s part of our life bond. I can feel him, he can feel me, and we can communicate with each other even when we’re not in the same room—especially if one or the other is in danger.”

“I don’t know any other siblings who can do that,” breathed Gooigi.

After Gooigi was finished with the cold compress, Luigi moved to sit back up, only for Gooigi to stop him with a hand on his shoulder. “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked.

“That _pu—na_ —she has my bro, and I don’t care if King Boo is with her at the moment—I’ll gladly let them tear me apart before I let them take my bro from me!”

“Lay down,” Gooigi told him.

Luigi obliged with a sigh, and Gooigi settled down next to him, attempting to soothe him with his touch. Polterpup, meanwhile, had curled up at the foot of the bed and was now fast asleep.

“S’okay,” whispered Gooigi. “S’okay. S’okay.”

Luigi’s eyes were fixed on the ceiling without really looking at it, his lips pressed together, silent tears rolling down his face. He was extremely wound up, and Gooigi’s insistence that he rest wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“Please,” he said. “I just need to save my bro. I need to hold him in my arms and make everything all right…”

“I know, Luigi. I know. But those two will try to toy with you—they’ll turn your emotions into loaded weapons, which they’ll fire at you. Mario and I want you to be ready, okay?”

“Okay.”

Gooigi stared at Luigi, and Luigi stared at Gooigi, and then—

Their lips pressed together in a deep, slow kiss.

“Gooigi,” Luigi breathed when they separated. “I—I…”

“I know,” Gooigi said softly, “but I like the way I feel about you. And technically, it’s not cheating.”

“I like the way I feel about you, too,” said Luigi. “Ever since I retrieved you from Gadd’s room, you were there for me, and I was there for you. And yeah, you’re right about it not really being _cheating_ , but it’s still gonna be a little weird explaining this to Daisy.”

“Well—maybe we could explain it to her together,” said Gooigi.

“Yeah,” Luigi said quietly. “Maybe we could.”

A beat passed between them.

“Luigi—what is it like?” Gooigi suddenly asked.

“What is what like?”

“Being with somebody—for the first time?”

Luigi blushed.

“I know the question is out of the blue,” said Gooigi, “but—being stuck in a lab or a bunker with only an old scientist to talk to has made me curious about these things.”

“He’s never had that talk with you, huh?”

“Not yet,” said Gooigi. “He thinks I’ll be too busy helping him hunt ghosts or something. But I have— _needs_ , you know? Just like everyone else.”

“Do you…?”

“Yes—I’ve done some _experiments_ of my own,” said Gooigi, “but I’m just curious—what does it _feel_ like, having your first time with someone?”

“First of all, you need to find the right partner,” said Luigi, “and you need to be sure that you’re both ready to take that step. When I first met Daisy, she’d gone through some— _stuff_ —with an evil alien overlord who wanted her as his Queen.”

“You rescued her from an alien?”

“Actually, Mario did. I met her after he brought her back. Anyway, Daisy and I hit it off easily, but it was two years before I confessed my feelings to her, and another three years after that before anything physical besides kissing happened.

“I was so nervous. It wasn’t my first time, but it felt like my first time because Daisy was so special, and I could tell that she was nervous, too. I just—I didn’t want to hurt her. But that night, we were able to ease into it, and I quickly found all the ways to make her tick. I can’t really describe it except—to say it was hours upon hours of intense bliss. Twenty-five years later, it still feels refreshing and new between us.”

“I’d love to feel that feeling,” sighed Gooigi, “and I’d love to give someone that feeling, if only once.”

Gooigi stroked Luigi’s cheek with his thumb. “When we walk through that door into Hellen’s office, anything can and will happen,” he said. “Things might not go the way we want them to. It’s a small chance, but it’s a chance, nonetheless. And if you wind up dead, and then I’m hit with open flame or with water, then I might as well be dead, too. Luigi—I—I don’t want that to happen without knowing what it’s like. What it _feels_ like…”

Luigi blushed again, the two ghost hunters staring at each other in silence. This time, it was the former who acted first, cautiously pressing his lips to Gooigi’s. The contact was soft, smooth and cool-warm, and he tasted that lovely green-apple flavor with hints of coffee. Gooigi leaned into the kiss, deepening it, his body gently pulsing in anticipation as well as with the music. His tongue slipped between Luigi’s lips and started to probe, eventually mingling with Luigi’s tongue. Then, Gooigi rolled on top of Luigi, the two allowing the kisses to progress, feeling their bodies rise and fall against each other each time their lips met. The feeling of the Goo against Luigi’s skin was akin to moisturizer, and the feeling of skin against Gooigi’s ectobody was like a pillow, not too soft, but not too firm, either.

Mouths and tongues mingled until both were out of breath, and after one final deep kiss, the two separated, a string of Goo and spit connecting them. Luigi used his tongue to break the string, and then Gooigi pulled off one swoosh of his “moustache” (which quickly grew back) and slipped it between Luigi’s lips before moving his own lips lower and lower and lower, blotting them on every last muscle on his chest and stomach.

“Gooigi— _Dio_ —that feels great…” whispered Luigi.

Thus encouraged, the gooey humanoid peppered his fleshy counterpart’s upper body with kisses, and then slow and sensual licks. Luigi’s back arched, and then he whined. He’d done this with Daisy so many times, but he never imagined a gooey clone doing this to him.

“Don’t need these,” mused Gooigi as he slid Luigi’s coveralls out of the way. His fingers skimmed along the edges of the plumber’s body and fiddled with the waistband of his undies.

Excitement stirred just under Luigi’s skin as he watched Gooigi. Gooigi looked up at him, and a blush of his own materialized.

“I’m not _that_ desperate,” said Gooigi. “Take your own undies off. You can leave your cap and socks on, though…”

Training a smoldering gaze on Gooigi, Luigi slowly slid the undies over his hips and wriggled out of them. Gooigi then straddled him, marveling at the slim, toned body, which was now in its fully nude glory, placing his hands on Luigi’s hips and slowly sliding them up. His thumbs traced small circles on his companion’s nipples as the gooey matter on his own body shifted until, he, too, was “nude”.

Humming in approval, Gooigi took Luigi’s mouth in his for another deep kiss, his thumbs still softly flicking across the other man’s nipples. Dragging his mouth down, he replaced his thumbs with his tongue and lips, first tending to the left nipple, and then the right.

“Nnnggghhh…” uttered Luigi.

Gooigi finished his ministrations and straightened. “I haven’t even started yet,” he said.

His soft, gooey hands found Luigi’s length and laid it out flat in both palms. Tall and thin, just like the man in green, and now, it was springing to life. Gooigi cocked his head to the side and admired it. “Very nice,” he said softly.

“Are you just gonna stare at it all night?” Luigi asked, his breaths quickening.

And then—Gooigi’s hands _moved_.

They began to pump. And pump. And pump. Deep, rhythmic pumps. Both hands, squeezing, caressing and stroking and building to a steady tempo, as if he were holding the nozzle of his Poltergust and slamming a ghost to the floor. He pumped so intensely that the Goo on his upper body jiggled with his motions. All the while, his eyes were on Luigi, studying his face, watching his lips part and his brow crinkle with arousal.

“God…” Luigi managed to say, rocking his hips into Gooigi’s hands.

That _definitely_ meant that Gooigi was doing something right, so he let out a soft coo and kept going.

Then, Luigi’s mouth fell open, deep gasps issuing from it. His eyes were glued to Gooigi’s upper body, from his collarbone to his belly button, practically dancing in sync with his pumping hands. The sight and sound of the moving Goo served to amplify the sensations crashing over him. He looked into Gooigi’s face, and he thought he could see a singular intensity creeping across those gooey features. His hips snapped up again and again to meet Gooigi’s hands, more gasps and other inarticulate sounds spilling from his lips. How long could Gooigi maintain that relentless pace without his arms getting tired? Would his arms even get tired, at all? Could Luigi reduce _him_ to a gasping mess on Hellen’s bed? And what if a random Boo happened upon them, and Gooigi started _vibrating_?

The last question nearly had him unspooling right then and there, but Gooigi chose that moment to slow his movements, one hand gently closing around the now-pulsating Super Mushroom and lazily stroking it while the other slipped under Luigi’s back and fondled his butt. A soft whine escaped from Luigi, and then another, and then Gooigi gurgled something and rubbed the shroom against his smooth stomach, winding his hips in a circular motion.

“Ohhhh…”

Gooigi looked at Luigi, the latter watching in wonder as an indentation appeared a few inches below the former’s stomach, in the center of his mound.

“Wha…?”

“I got it,” said Gooigi as he guided Luigi’s shroom toward that indentation, which expanded into the shape of a small circle upon contact. Gooigi traced the tip around the edges of that circle before sinking himself onto it with a gooey sigh.

Jolts of pleasure hit Luigi in quick succession as he was slowly surrounded by softness and warmth which breathed around him, engulfing him completely.

“Ahhhh…”

Above him, Gooigi moaned, and then his body moved over Luigi’s. Both hands were on the small of his back, lifting his hips a few centimeters off the mattress. And then the soft, gooey warmth slipped inside Luigi, pooled over his bundle of nerves and began to _vibrate_.

Luigi’s first thought was that a Boo was _indeed_ out and about someplace, waiting to strike, which would make for a pretty hot way to go, considering. But then Gooigi leaned down and took his face in his hands, as if sensing his worry.

“We caught all of the Boos,” he gasped. “Remember? It’s just the music. Just the music…”

Relieved, Luigi settled down as the gooey warmth within him continued to vibrate in steady pulses, which in turn caused his length to further pulse within Gooigi.

Slowly, Gooigi dropped his body over Luigi’s so that they were just _barely_ touching. They lingered there on the bed, the anticipation swelling…

Until—

…Gooigi thrust into the other man, slow and smooth. Then, he thrust again. And again. And again. And again. And again…

The thrusts deepened, and Gooigi picked up speed so that his body was undulating with Luigi’s. The other man’s hips jerked and shuddered, thrusting back up into Gooigi, the gooey humanoid giving him such indescribable pleasure from both sides. There was the jiggling, thrumming Goo rapidly expanding and contracting around his length. There was the probing, vibrating Goo plunging into him again and again. Luigi wrapped his arms around Gooigi and pressed the pads of his fingers into his back as they both thrust in perfect synchrony.

“Mmmm—nggghh—ahhh—Gooigi…”

Pleasured gurgles and coos also issued from Gooigi, who noticed a bit of drool beginning to seep from the corner of Luigi’s mouth. The gooey humanoid took the time to delicately wipe it away before pulling him into yet another hot kiss, feeling the young man’s shroom continuing to swell and swell inside him. The sounds they made mixed with the sounds of Goo meeting skin over and over and over, a steamy cacophony. It occurred to them that they were on the bed of a vindictive woman in league with a psychopathic king, and that one of her security cameras was capturing everything, but they didn’t care. It would be a little “[bleep] you” from them to her before they stormed into her office and sent her where she belonged.

Gooigi continued thrusting deeply, gazing into Luigi’s dilating eyes and drinking in the aroused flush on his skin. A startled gurgle escaped from him as Luigi flipped them over, pistoning passionately into his gooey clone. As his hips drove forward and back, he peppered Gooigi with kisses, all over his gooey face and gooey upper body. He leaned into Gooigi’s ear and whispered _things_ to him in Italian, things that made him coo languidly in response. Gooigi let Luigi do his thing for a few minutes before seamlessly rolling them back over, allowing more of his Goo to slide into him.

Having regained control, Gooigi’s thrusts started back up, nice and deep and steady, rolling and grinding his hips. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing. He wanted Luigi to make these lovely sounds for him. He wanted him to gasp out his name, wanted to feel him swell and thicken, wanted to see his eyes as he finally burst apart. He wanted to dominate him and be dominated by him—but he mostly wanted to dominate him. So that’s what he did, challenging his and Luigi’s boundaries like never before.

“Oh, _Dio_ , Gooigi. Oh, _Dio_. _Sto per venire._ _Sto per venire._ _Dio_! Don’t stop—please, Gooigi, don’t stop! _Sto arrivando_! Gahh! I’m gonna…”

His breaths slackened. His lips trembled. His eyelashes fluttered. Gooigi happily observed, his body winding sensually atop him. And then he cooed and licked his lips, a combination of music and pleasure making him thrum all over.

“ _Vieni per me,_ Luigi,” he whispered as their hips deeply mashed together. “ _Vieni per me_.”

Again and again and again, their hips crashed into one another. Gooigi delicately slid Luigi’s shroom out of him and used his hands to make him come undone. Luigi’s entire body shuddered and spasmed, sensation sweeping through him as he released, his doppelganger’s name on his lips. Gooigi watched him explode, the sticky warmth bathing his hands, his chest and the mattress. His own hips snapped forward and back several more times until he unspooled as well, slipping out of Luigi at the last possible second, his voice cooing his name. Deep sighs escaped the two men as they released together, cool Goo splattering onto Luigi’s stomach and warm stickiness spurting onto Gooigi’s hands and chest. Once the aftershocks passed, Gooigi tasted Luigi, equal parts salty and sweet, and Luigi did the same with the Gooigi, equal parts green apple and coffee.

After sharing another steamy smooch, they lay together, Gooigi’s head resting on Luigi’s chest, his pointer finger tracing circles on his belly.

“That was…” Luigi said breathily. “That was the most eye-opening experience of my life so far.”

“Yeah,” Gooigi added softly. “It was—amazing.”

“ _You_ were amazing,” said Luigi. “What you did—with your hands—how did you learn that?”

“Like I said—I self-experimented,” Gooigi smartly replied, “and since I’m Goo, I can be pretty—flexible.”

“You know something?” asked Luigi. “I actually feel a lot better now.”

“Me, too,” said Gooigi. “I feel—whole—and—complete. Like—I can take on anything. You complete me, Luigi. And I just wanna say—thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said Luigi, “and thank _you_ , for getting me to this point.”

“We’re not out of it yet, though,” said Gooigi. “The biggest fight is still to come.”

“And we’ll win it,” Luigi said with conviction. “Together. And if we lose—then we’ll do that together, too.”

He captured Gooigi’s lips with his, a passionate, all-consuming kiss. Then, he looked into his gooey doppelganger’s eyes.

“I’m with you to the end of the line.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I went there. Thank you, Antares10.


	37. Phantom Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content/Trigger Warning: Sexual assault, discussion of sexual assault, animal abuse

Back inside Professor Gadd’s lab, Thad, Brad and Chad sat together, sipping on the hot chocolate the Professor had made for them.

“I hope Luigi and Gooigi bash Hellen extra-hard,” muttered Brad.

“Me, too,” said Thad. “She doesn’t deserve their mercy after what she did to us!”

“Wha—what did she do to you?” asked Gadd.

“She—she put her hands all over us,” said Chad. “Leave it at that.”

“And before the trap was sprung, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Peach—not to mention that she was in Luigi’s personal space,” huffed Thad. “She was up to no good from the beginning!”

Chad and Brad murmured in assent.

They fell silent as Gadd was alerted of an incoming call from Luigi, gathering around the console as the Professor answered.

“Luigi?” said Gadd. “Talk to me, youngster. Is everything all right?”

Luigi’s face was solemn, exuding intensity and determination. “I’m standing outside the door to Hellen Gravely’s office,” he said. “I had to explore her entire creepy penthouse to collect four keys which will unlock this door and let me inside.” He held up the aforementioned four keys, which had different-colored gems on top of them. “At this point, there are only two possible outcomes. One, I defeat Hellen and King Boo, save Mario and Peach and come back with a story to tell. Two, I wind up beaten into submission and sealed in a portrait. Before I head in there, I just wanna apologize for all of the times I snapped at you and all of the times I was a bit short-tempered with you. It’s just—my priorities are different from yours, you know?”

“I know,” Gadd said quietly.

“This is it. This is the moment of truth. I’m going in, and I’m gonna give Hellen a piece of my mind. Like I said, our confrontation is gonna end one of two ways. But either way—whichever way—no harm, no foul. Because either way—it’ll be one Hell of a ride.” His eyes narrowed, and he took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

“Give her what for, Luigi!” shouted Thad. “Give her what for!”

Luigi flashed a final smile before hanging up.

Gadd stared at the blank screen for a few seconds. Then, he hopped off his swivel chair and sat cross-legged on the floor, inviting the three Toads to sit around him.

Once Thad, Brad and Chad were situated, the quartet held hands, beginning to pray more fervently than ever.

**…**

As Luigi inserted each of the four keys into the King Boo statue’s tongue, the moment seemed surreal. It was as if the universe was in slow motion, save for him. The most mundane sounds were amplified by a billion, from the sound of each key clicking into place to his own whistling, Gooigi whistling along with him. With each key he inserted, a cold and foreboding feeling manifested itself within Luigi, sending his heartbeat through the roof and his Adam’s apple kicking against his neck. He didn’t know what awaited him inside Hellen’s office, but he’d meet it all the same, with Gooigi and Polterpup by his side.

The statue’s eyes glowed violet as the door slowly slid open, and Luigi was suddenly rooted to the ground, that familiar, selfish urge to turn back and leave his fame-hogging brother in the dust briefly coursing through him. But as always, he shook it away, wiped his forehead with his sleeve and watched as Hellen’s office slowly revealed itself to him. He could hear the hotel owner, panting, grunting and gasping, saying these filthy things, and as he stepped closer, he could make out the words.

“Oh, Mario—you naughty boy. You like this, don’t you? A nice pair of ghostly breasts rubbing against that face of yours. Mmmm—I _know_ you’re getting excited, but save your energy. We have all night.”

And when the door fully opened, Luigi was greeted with a horrific sight.

There was Hellen, her back to him, her dress undone and the straps hanging down to her waist, along with her fur stole. Both her hands were braced against the wall, and she was laughing with delight as she lewdly ground herself against Mario’s portrait, her bare breasts grotesquely gyrating against the canvas. At once, Luigi’s wildly-pounding heart stopped cold in his chest and his sense of foreboding was neatly dispelled, replaced with cold rage. Gripping his trusty Poltergust G-00 tightly, he marched inside, his brown work boots hardly making a sound on the floor. Hellen didn’t even know he was there!

Until—

“Get away from him, you _[bleep]_!”

Hellen stopped writhing against Mario’s portrait at the sound of Luigi’s voice, slowly pulling up her dress straps and refastening them. Then, she quickly powdered her face before swiveling around to face Luigi, smiling at him.

But Luigi certainly wasn’t smiling, standing before her with the nozzle of his Poltergust aimed at Hellen’s face, a stony expression on his own.

_Luigi—you’re here. You’re finally here…_

“Well, well, well,” mused Hellen. “I honestly didn’t think you’d have it in you. A scaredy-cat like you, making it this far? You’re just full of surprises!”

“So are you,” Luigi bit out. “You weren’t content with just sealing my bro in a portrait frame. You had to—harass him and _assault_ him, too.”

_Don’t engage. You have to say in control. You have to stay calm._

“ _Harass_ him?” Hellen floated downward so that she was seated at her desk. “Oh, no—on the contrary—he _enjoyed_ my company. You should’ve seen him in his room, begging me for more as I rode him like a motorcycle. He thanked me afterward, you know. He told me that he knew now what it was like to be with a ghost—a ghost who could make him…”

“That’s enough!” Luigi barked, making Gooigi jump. 

Polterpup gave a startled whine. He’d rarely seen his master so upset.

_Bro! Bro, stop! Look at me. It’s okay. I’m okay._

Luigi breathed deeply, slowly and silently counting to ten as Hellen chuckled.

“Hit a sore spot, didn’t I?” she purred. “Well, now you know how _I_ feel. Look at what you’ve done, Luigi! You ransacked my hotel, captured my staff with that strange vacuum of yours—and to top it all off, you catnapped my sweetie, my little darling—my precious Polterkitty!”

“You mean the Polterkitty who repeatedly attempted to maul me?” Luigi shot back. “The Polterkitty who rejected my beloved Polterpup and hurt his feelings?”

“Yes!”

“You miss your Polterkitty, don’t you? Well, don’t worry—you’ll be reunited soon.” Luigi didn’t think that he could hate someone so much, but now, he could.

_Bro—don’t make her angrier. Focus, Luigi. Focus—_

“This isn’t how it was supposed to happen!” seethed Hellen.

“Oh, yeah? Well, how did you _think_ it was gonna happen?!” Luigi demanded of her. “Did you think I was just gonna _sit_ there and let you make off with the six people who truly give a [bleep] about me?!”

Hellen lowered her head, clenching her fists, a low growl escaping her—and then her head snapped back up, revealing two blood-red eyes and an ancient, decrepit face, her blue hair falling loose from its beehive into a disordered mess.

_Whoa! Okay—_ now _you look like the monster you are._

With a cry, Luigi recoiled from the abomination before him, losing his balance and landing on his butt.

“J—s!” Luigi interjected. “WTF?!”

Cursing, Hellen smashed her desk to bits and hovered over Luigi.

“You weren’t supposed to run away from King Boo like a filthy coward!” screamed Hellen.

“Well, what the Hell else was I supposed to do?!” Luigi screamed back.

“I don’t know—maybe let yourself get caught in that painting!” snarled Hellen. “Maybe then, King Boo wouldn’t have pitched a fit and reamed out my fan club, and by extension, me!”

Luigi got to his feet. “Oh, don’t make this about you!” he charged. “You know something, Hellen? You two are _perfect_ for each other! You’re just as depraved as King Boo, maybe more! You put me through the worst Hell imaginable, you traumatized and trapped my loved ones, and you have the _gall_ to try and paint yourself as the victim?! How dare you?!”

“How dare _you_?!” Hellen spat. “I LOST EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF YOU!”

“Well, so did I, so I guess that makes us even!” cried Luigi. “The only difference between you and me, though? I’m taking back what you tried to steal from me!”

Hellen growled again—and then she seemed to notice her monstrous appearance, diving for her makeup and fixing her face. Then, she composed herself and smirked at Luigi.

“Shall we begin?” she asked.

Luigi brandished the Poltergust G-00 in response.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” laughed Hellen.

And the battle began.

Hellen sank into the ground and popped up behind her own security screens as a giant, rotating laser ascended from the ground, its beam aimed at Luigi. As the beam spun around the office, he used Burst to vault over it, watching it alertly as it changed speed and direction.

_That’s very good, Bro, but you need to find a way to disable that thing!_

“Why don’t you come out from that monitor and face me before denouncing _me_ as a coward?” Luigi snapped as he continued dodging the laser.

“You’re gonna regret saying that,” hissed Hellen as she phased out of the monitor.

Four wide, different colored lasers spilled out of the machine, which slowly rotated like a fan. As Luigi evaded the lasers, he noticed the grates and pipes located around the office.

“Gooigi,” he said. “You know what to do.”

“Oh, yeah! Here I go!” laughed Gooigi before slipping through one of the grates.

One by one, Gooigi located four different-colored switches corresponding to the four lasers. Moving quickly, he pulled down the switches, listening as Luigi and Hellen circled each other above.

“You put your hands on my bro,” said Luigi, his eyes firmly on Hellen while still being mindful of the wide lasers. “You _hurt_ my bro. _No one_ messes with my bro. Man or woman, _no one_ messes with my bro!”

As Gooigi pulled the switches, the lasers shut off, allowing Luigi greater freedom of movement. Unfortunately, it also allowed Hellen to approach and try to bash him with her mirror. Luigi dodged one swing, and then another before jerking up his Strobulb and letting her have it right in her face.

Hellen’s face reverted into its monstrous appearance, but this time, Luigi didn’t react, grabbing her into the suction and brutally slamming her into the floor again and again and again. He was making good on his earlier warning, refusing to hold back just because she was a woman! If anyone threatened or harmed Mario or anyone close to the man in green, then retribution was unisex! As he dished out the punishment, Mario cheered as if he were watching the New York Knicks play the last game of the NBA Finals, shouting at his bro to slam Hellen down harder and harder. And how could Luigi _not_ oblige?

With 600 HP to her name, however, Hellen would be tough to beat. With an enraged scream, she broke free of the suction and phased back into her security monitors, and the cycle began again.

The laser machine whirred back to life, first chasing Luigi with a thin, red laser, and then with a wide, red laser. This time, the lasers caught Luigi off-guard, leaving several burns on him. Mario cursed Hellen out each time the lasers connected, but some silly old burns didn’t slow Luigi in the slightest. When the multicolored lasers came out, Gooigi charged back into action, slipping through gates and keeping an ear out for Luigi as he worked to disable the lasers.

While all of this was happening, Polterpup was frantically pacing about, barking and growling at Hellen, trying to find ways to help his master. And as Hellen brandished her mirror and started toward Luigi, he charged at her, leaping high over the lasers and grabbing one end of the mirror in his jaws. A harrowing game of tug-of-war ensued between them as Luigi ran forward.

“Get her, puppy!” he cheered. “Get her!”

Unfortunately, his path to Hellen and Polterpup was blocked by a laser, and he could only watch as the hotel owner yanked her mirror free and proceeded to beat the poor puppy with it, calling him horrible names as the paranormal pooch yelped and whimpered in fear and pain.

_Oh. Oh._ Now _you’ve done it, Hellen._ Now _you’ve f—ing done it._

Luigi’s fists clenched, and a red haze briefly passed before his eyes. A vein throbbed in his temple, his breath came fast, and there was no hope for Hellen Gravely now. Below him, Gooigi overheard the beating and wasted no time disabling the final laser so that Luigi could run to his pet’s aid.

With a loud yell, Luigi stunned Hellen, roughly jerked her into the suction and bashed her against the floor again and again and again.

“Don’t! You! F—ing! Touch! My! Polterpup!” he screamed out, slamming Hellen as if his life were depending on it. And it was. Along with Mario’s, Peach’s, Gadd’s, and the three Toads.

_Yeah! You leave that doggie alone! You’re gonna pick on a cute little puppy trying to help his master save his big bro?!_

Luigi kept slamming Hellen around until she broke free, turning her mirror on him and sending him stumbling.

“Tell me—which is more painful?” asked Hellen, swinging her mirror repeatedly. “A—or B? Forehand—or backhand?”

The mirror hurt like Hell and beyond, but Luigi eventually countered by firing a Suction Shot at the d—n thing, using it as leverage to inflict more pain on his foe.

Again, Hellen tore herself free and retreated into her monitors, Luigi catching his breath and checking himself for major injuries. He heard Polterpup whining and whimpering and quickly rushed to his side.

“Oh, my God. Oh, puppy! My sweet, little puppy!” Luigi knelt down and gathered Polterpup in his arms. “Are you hurt?”

Polterpup licked his cheek.

“I’m gonna make her pay for that. Big-time,” whispered Luigi.

The ghost doggie perked up, woofing to demonstrate that he wasn’t hurt too badly.

_Bro! The lasers are coming! Stay alert!_

Luigi set Polterpup next to a green pipe. “I’m gonna need you to stay here, all right?” he asked. “I can’t risk Hellen attacking you again.”

“Arf?!”

“I know you wanna help, but she means business,” Luigi said softly. “She was _really_ going to town on you with that mirror.”

Polterpup gave another whine, seeing the burns where the lasers had hit his master and the bruises where Hellen’s mirror had struck him—and there was blood, too…

“I can take it,” said Luigi. “Okay? Please, just stay in that spot. Or no extra doggie treats.”

Unwillingly, yet defeated by the ultimatum, Polterpup stood down, watching nervously as Luigi charged back into battle. When Peach had told him earlier that night that the man in green could be stubborn, she sure wasn’t lying!

This time, two wide red lasers spouted from the machine, whirling around the room at a frightening speed. Simultaneously, water began to flood into the area where Gooigi stood watch, forcing the gooey humanoid to move even quicker than ever, disabling the lasers before the water flow got to him. On the main battlefield, Hellen stalked after Luigi, sending her mirror into his sides, his midsection, his shoulders and his face. Some of her strikes would knock him into the multicolored lasers, but he’d picture Mario’s face and push himself back up, staring Hellen down.

“Why won’t you die?!” she screeched.

“I’m not gonna die,” he replied. “Not tonight.”

Roaring, Hellen dove for him, a sharp part of her mirror slashing him. But the pain was nothing to him. The blood was nothing to him. He could only see his imperiled brother. He could only hear his voice. He could only think about Peach, still awaiting rescue, and the four people he’d rescued so far, waiting it out in the Professor’s lab.

Polterpup watched the scene before him, barking wildly, deciding right then and there that he’d rather forfeit some extra doggie treats rather than watch helplessly from the sidelines as this madwoman clobbered his master. He’d made a promise to Peach, after all, and by God, he was gonna keep it. He loped around the edge of the arena like a young wolf, growling low in his throat, waiting for the opportune moment. If he was a fully-grown dog, then he could destroy the rotating mechanism, but he wasn’t, so he couldn’t. His best bet was to go for Hellen directly and give Luigi a chance to stun her.

Hellen continued swinging her mirror. Luigi continued dodging her strikes, or taking them and getting back up. He used Burst to disorient her and tried to yank her mirror away with his Suction Shot. But by and by, he noticed that sometimes, Hellen’s mirror would get stuck on the ground. He remembered Ug and his bone club, and the strategy he used to ultimately defeat the caveman ghost. If he used a similar strategy with Hellen, then he could defeat her, as well.

“All right!” called Gooigi as he pulled down the last switch. “That’s the last laser! You’re free and clear! Give her everything you have!”

Polterpup, however, had other plans.

_Doggie, no!_

Luigi whirled. “Puppy, wha…?!”

Everything happened at once. Polterpup grabbed onto Hellen’s fur stole, yanking with all his strength and trying to keep Hellen pinned in the air. The stole tore, and Hellen whirled on Polterpup, face twisted with malice.

“On second thought,” she hissed, “how about I make you watch as I do a number on your pretty Polterpup?”

Polterpup bravely faced the hotel owner, growling as she raised her mirror to strike.

“ _Hey!!!_ ”

With that fierce shout, Luigi jumped between them, taking the blow in his puppy’s stead. Breathing through the pain, he rolled to one knee, positioning himself in front of Polterpup. His thumb held down the Strobulb, and his other hand gripped his vacuum’s handle. The green-clad ghost hunter and the hotel owner glowered at each other, and then Luigi spoke.

“Yippee-ki-yay, Hellen Gravely.”

He released the Strobulb flash and let the Poltergust G-00 rip, following Gooigi’s instructions and giving each slam all he had.

“For hurting Polterpup!”

Slam.

“For terrorizing me!”

Slam.

“ _For hurting my Bro!!!!!_ ”

Slam. Slam. Slam. _Slam. SLAM!_

_Sayonara, Hellen. Hope it’s not too cramped in there._

For the finale, Luigi slammed Hellen against the center of the floor, which had King Boo’s face on it. 

Her HP finally depleted, Hellen only had enough time for a quick makeup reapplication before she was sucked into the Poltergust.

“Good riddance,” growled Luigi.

And then he sneezed from the residual face powder Hellen left behind.

Gooigi whooped with glee as he emerged. “Yeah! We did it!” she cried. “We beat her!”

The two high-fived, and Luigi tossed his hat in the air in victory and did a little dance.

Polterpup raced over, yapping in relief and happiness. Luigi knelt down and petted him, although he gave him a look warning that they’d have a serious talk about the paranormal pup disobeying his instructions at a later time.

Then, he turned and faced Mario’s portrait.

_Hey, Lil’ Bro. Nice to see you again._

“Nice to see you, too.”

_You’re late._

“Fashionably.”

_That was the second-most satisfying thing I’ve ever seen._

“Oh? And what’s the _most_ satisfying thing?”

_You slamming King Boo around._

“Give me a few minutes, and I can certainly have that arranged,” said Luigi. “Okeydokey, Big Bro. Time to get you down from there.”

Gooigi stood back a respectful distance, as did Polterpup, the two of them watching as Luigi shone his DLD on Mario’s painting and the man in red became colorized—


	38. Hey Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content/Trigger Warning: Discussion of sexual assault/non-con

**Flashback—October 2001**

_He has no idea what’s happening. Something zaps him once, and then again. He can’t help but yowl at the pain. Then, he’s whisked along a conveyor belt into some sort of aqueous solution—and then the tossing begins. Tossing and churning—the motion is nauseating. And he wants it to stop. He wants to know who’s doing this to him and why. He’s been tortured enough as it is tonight._

_Now, he’s been deposited into something, which shoots him into an unfamiliar room. There’s a frame around his neck. A strange old man is talking to him. Everything is spinning and spinning and spinning—_

_And then it stops._

_He recognizes a sound._

_Laughter._

_And crying._

_The frame is gone from his neck, and he’s free turn his head about, looking for the source of that familiar sound. Because he knows now that it’s his brother, laughing and crying, relieved that he’s all right._

_And then he finds him, standing there, bruised and bloodied, his body shivering and heaving as laughs and sobs escape from his lips, that singular contraption on his back. The world steadies, and the agony he was subjected to doesn’t matter anymore. A sense of normalcy returns, and with it a sense of comfort._

_He hears Luigi say his name, and he smiles._

_“Luigi,” he replies. “Hey, hey. Luigi…”_

_“Mario!”_

_And then Luigi darts across the room and falls to his knees beside him, pulling him into his arms._

_“Luigi,” Mario says again, completing the brotherly embrace. “My Luigi. My bro—my brave, brave baby bro…”_

_And Luigi lets out one wrenching sob after another as Mario comforts him with his touch and his words. But as it sinks in that he’s truly safe, that the psychotic king is sealed away, Mario’s own façade cracks, and he, too, begins sobbing. The Bros kneel there in that room, clinging to each other, crying and crying and crying, beginning to recover from a long, traumatizing night._

**Flash-forward—March 2013**

_A multicolored beam shines in his face, and he feels it drawing him out of his artistic prison. The effect is slightly disorienting; he doesn’t know if he’s gonna land on his feet or on his face. But then he sees his brother standing there, bruised and bloodied, that singular contraption on his back, training the multicolored beam on him. As gravity takes hold of Mario, he sees Luigi holster the vacuum’s nozzle and hold out his arms._

_And Mario aims his body straight for them._

_A soft landing._

_Automatically, Mario throws his arms around Luigi’s shoulders, feeling his brother’s arms round the small of his back. And they sink to their knees, hugging and hugging and hugging as Luigi joyfully cries out his brother’s name in relief._

_“You’ve done it again,” Mario breathes. “You saved my life. Way to go—you’re number one!”_

_“I—did it?” Luigi repeats._

_“Yes, you did.”_

_After an exchange of heartfelt words, the brothers are reduced to crying in each other’s arms. The Professor’s watching, but neither of them care. Who says that men aren’t supposed to cry?_

_When the chips are down, Mario can always count on Luigi, and that holds true today._

**Flash-forward—October 2019**

He was aware of the steep drop, aware of the sensation of the Dark-Light Device drawing him out of the portrait frame. He tried to ready himself, angling his body so that he’d land on his feet. Or at least not land on his face.

Freedom arrived in two stages. First was the feeling of fresh air and the return of his vision. His lil’ bro standing there, bruised and bloodied and with that singular contraption on his back (sensing a pattern here?). A gooey humanoid in Luigi’s likeness, standing next to Polterpup. He could smell the remnants of Hellen’s makeup and cologne, but he shoved the thoughts of her into the back of his mind. The only person he was focused on was his brother.

Now came the second stage—his body once again obeying the laws of gravity. Down he dropped, arms and legs flailing, bracing body and mind for impact. Eyes on the target—Luigi waiting for him with his arms outstretched. Mario landed on the floor a few inches shy of his bro, however, and while he _did_ manage to land on his feet, he had to cushion the fall with his hands, as the momentum had tipped his body forward.

It was worth it.

Mario sprang back up. For a few seconds, he was airborne. And then his face was pressed into Luigi’s shoulder and his legs were wrapped around his waist. And those soft, green-sleeved arms encircled his back. And his scent suffused the portly plumber, the scent that was purely—Luigi.

No words needed to be said at first. Hugging together in Hellen’s office said more than enough.

This time around, it was Mario who sobbed quietly while Luigi whispered comforting words in his ear and left kisses in his hair. The younger knelt on the floor, and the elder found himself seated on something soft and warm—his baby bro’s lap, his head on Luigi’s chest and the top of his head touching the base of his chin. Slowly, Mario’s weeping subsided as he listened to the brisk drumbeat of his baby bro’s heart. He took deep breaths, and he immersed himself in Luigi’s warmth.

“ _Sta bene_ ,” Luigi was saying. “ _Sta bene. Stai bene_.”

“ _Dio_ ,” whispered Mario. “This feels nice.”

Luigi’s fingers sifted through Mario’s locks, the elder brother responding in kind.

“Bro—my bro…” said Mario. “Stay with me…”

“Of course,” said Luigi, kissing Mario on the forehead.

“Stay with me, Lil’ Bro…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” said Luigi.

“From the moment it happened, I never stopped hoping,” said Mario. “I never stopped. All this time, I knew…”

“I didn’t abandon you then, and I won’t abandon you now.”

“I know.”

Mario felt his tears starting up again. “Luigi—my brave, brave bro—thank God for you—there should be more brothers like you…”

More sobs broke loose.

“M—Mario—please, don’t cry, because—oh, _Dio_! Now, you’re gonna make _me_ cry!”

Luigi pulled Mario close, weeping along with him, their sobs echoing throughout the large office.

“I’m s-so sorry!” Luigi managed to say. “I saw the warning signs, and I ignored them!”

“We’re all at fault here,” sniffled Mario. “We let our guards down, and that allowed those two to strike! Oh, Luigi—if it hadn’t been for that laundry chute…”

“Shhh,” said Luigi. “I know.”

They knelt there, wrapped in a powerful brotherly hug, bathing each other’s faces with their tears.

Luigi was the first to calm down, dropping his head onto Mario’s shoulder. “I made a vow,” he said. “When we were boys, I made a vow—and I’ll keep it to my last breath.”

“I know you will, Luigi. I know you will.”

Mario settled down, as well, and that was when he noticed that bits of Hellen’s aroma still clung to him. And he knew that Luigi could smell her on him, too. And so would Peach.

He heard Luigi’s heart rate steadily increase. He felt his muscles tense. And he knew that he needed to explain everything to his baby bro.

“Luigi,” he said, peering up at him. “It—it’s not what you think, I swear to you.”

But Luigi knew already. “What did she do to you?” he asked, eyes flashing.

“She—uh—she just showed up in my room and started making creepy remarks. She got in my personal space and started touching me. Then, King Boo made his entrance, and I threw my soda at them. I fought. I fought as hard as I could, until I couldn’t fight anymore. The King used his magic to pin me to the bed. Hellen took off my clothes, and then…” He drew a shuddering breath. “She did what she wanted with me. Bro—you don’t need those images in your head.”

“Every time you ask about it, you keep saying that I don’t need those images in my head,” said Luigi. “Well, how do you know that? Maybe I _do_ need those images in my head. I’ll have nightmares, yes, but at least I’ll have some closure for once.” In a softer voice, he added, “Please, just tell me. You don’t have to be graphic about it, but—I just need to know. Please.”

A beat.

Mario stared solemnly at his bro. “I’ll tell you everything,” he said. “From the beginning.”

Inwardly bracing himself, Mario began to speak. He told Luigi about the ambush in Boo Woods—how he was able to hold off the Boos at first until they swarmed him in droves and brought him before their King. He talked about the hours of physical, emotional and psychological torture that followed, both before and after he was shoved into the painting. He talked about how the King tried to break him, and how he would’ve succeeded if it hadn’t been for his faith in Luigi—and in God. Then, he moved on to the surprise attack on his house twelve years later, how he’d emerged fresh from a shower after exercising and had dressed. How he was just about to check his cell phone for any messages when the King pounced. How he was utterly beaten before being forced into the portrait frame, and then paraded around Evershade Valley like a prize, the King caressing him and licking the canvas.

Then, he got to the latest attack.

“Once again, King Boo completely overpowered me,” said Mario, “but it was much worse, because Hellen…” He swallowed. “I was pinned to the bed, courtesy of the King’s magic. Then, Hellen took my clothes off, got on top of me and put her hands and mouth all over me. She made me do the things I normally do to Peach when we’re in bed together. She made me say the filthiest things, and when I refused, I’d be electrically shocked. She—took me in her hands and, um, manipulated me. She kissed me where she wanted, she licked me where she wanted. She— _put_ me wherever she wanted. In her mouth, between her breasts—I had no say in the matter. I—I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t stop it. You know, the sensations. She made me…”

“I know what you’re trying to say,” said Luigi.

“It happened multiple times, and she _laughed_ about it,” Mario continued, “but that’s not the worst part. They—they made me watch them corner Peach. She fought back with her Parasol and her frying pan, but they subdued her, too. They dragged her over to her bed, where she was magically held down and disrobed. And…” Mario paused.

“I’m right here, Bro,” said Luigi. “I’m right here.”

“King Boo made me watch him put that _horrible_ tongue on her—and then _in_ her. He _licked_ her down there, over and over and over, and like me, she tried to fight it, but she couldn’t. He made her—and I had to witness the whole thing. He and Hellen took turns with her, you know, but Peach didn’t scream or beg. Bless her soul, she didn’t give them what they wanted. She only screamed when they were about to shove her into the portrait. And while they were—having their fun with her, they were taunting me, and I was so _frustrated_ because I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t even protect myself…”

His head fell back onto Luigi’s chest, the younger brother surrounding him with love and comfort.

“I _hate_ being helpless! I hate it!”

“You’re _not_ helpless. You didn’t go into that portrait frame quietly,” Luigi said, gently but firmly.

“But still—like you swore to look after me, I swore to look after Peachy, and I _couldn’t_.”

“Mario—stop blaming yourself. It’s what that psycho wants.”

“It’s hard _not_ to blame myself. And what is she gonna think when she finds out what Hellen did to me—what will the other Toads think? They’ll take one look at the situation—a strong and capable man like me and an attractive-looking ghost—and they’ll instantly jump to conclusions!”

“Hey!”

Mario jumped slightly in Luigi’s arms.

“Look at me,” said Luigi. “I don’t care about her gender, okay? Man, woman, dog, cat—what she did to you was wrong, and I don’t hate you for it.”

“Really?”

“Really, really. And I know that Peach will understand, too.”

“Oh, Luigi,” sighed Mario. “What you walked in on was only the tip of the iceberg.”

“You don’t need to tell me anymore,” Luigi said quietly. “Thank you, Mario. Thank you…”

His body relaxed, his heart rate returning to some semblance of normal.

“I know you had to run from them initially,” said Mario, “but you came back for us. For me. And watching you slam the ever-loving [bleep] out of Hellen is the closest I’ll probably get to seeing justice done.”

“You forgot about King Boo,” said Luigi.

“Then that’ll be a double scoop of justice,” said Mario, “and that’ll suit me just fine.”

He exhaled, the two brothers sinking further into their embrace.

“I’ve got you, Big Bro,” whispered Luigi. “I’ve got you.”

They knelt there in serene silence, whispering affectionate and comforting words to each other. Mario’s breathing evened out, and his eyelids drooped, and he felt so good and so _safe_ —

And then his eyes snapped open, renewed urgency and vigor coursing through him.

“ _Dio_!” he cried. “Peachy! _Principessa_! I gotta…!”

Luigi soothed him. “Don’t worry—I haven’t forgotten about her,” he said, “but I gotta get you situated before I look for her. Professor Gadd’s here—he’s the first person I rescued. He’s got a lab set up on the basement floor, where Thad, Brad and Chad are waiting. I’d better take you down there.” He rose to his feet and helped Mario up. “C’mon, Big Bro! This way!”

To Luigi’s shock, Mario stopped him, leading him in the opposite direction. “No, no, no— _this_ way,” he said.

Luigi frowned lightly. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’m _done_ with that marshmallow making me feel helpless,” Mario said adamantly. “Peachy is up there, and she needs us. Both of us.”

Luigi weighed his options. He really wanted Mario in the safety of Gadd’s lab, but on the other hand, he felt more confident with his big bro around.

Mario smacked his fist into his palm, the sound resonating throughout the office. “Let’s-a go!” he cried.

On those words, Luigi’s decision was made.

“Okeydokey!” he replied.

Mario ran over to the security monitors, braced his shoulder against the centermost column and pushed, revealing a hidden door.

“You think that’ll take us to the roof?” asked Luigi.

“It’s a sure bet!” cried Mario. “C’mon!”

Luigi beamed. “ _Insieme_ ,” he said.

“ _Insieme_ ,” replied Mario.

He grabbed the door handle and was about to turn it when he hesitated.

“What?” asked Luigi.

“Actually—I have to—well, you know…”

Luigi chuckled. “Of course,” he said. “I’ll take you to the Master Bathroom.”

Hand-in-hand, the Mario Bros walked out of the office, and Gooigi and Polterpup walked out after them.

**…**

When they reached the Master Bathroom, Mario examined the Poltergust on his brother’s back, giving the apparatus a brisk rap.

“Hey,” he said. “Can you hear me okay in there? Eh, you probably can.” He cleared his throat. “I am going to [bleep] in your toilet now, Hellen—and I’m not gonna flush.”

Luigi wrinkled his nose. “Bro!”

“Relax—I was only kidding,” laughed Mario.

He strode into the Master Bathroom, only to emerge seconds later.

“Say—were those trophies of King Boo I saw out there?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Hm. Even better,” said Mario.

The man in red walked over to one of the King Boo trophies, staring hard into the sneering face. Then, he unzipped his fly, whipped out Small Mario—and then he p—ed on the trophy.

“Yeah,” he said. “How do you like that, huh?”

Luigi couldn’t help but giggle at the sight.

“Hey, Bro!” Mario said jovially. “Care to join me?”

“Uh—okay!” said Luigi, walking up beside Mario.

Blushing a little, he, too, whipped it out, and then he joined Mario in draining his snake onto the trophy. The Bros laughed and laughed, as if they were mischievous little boys again, trying to see who could achieve a higher “arch”.

“ _Vaffanculo_ , Hellen! Suck on that, _pu—na_!” cried Mario.

“And _vaffanculo_ , too, King Boo!” Luigi led the charge. He was always a tad more emboldened around Mario.

“Huh,” he said when they were finished and were washing their hands in the Master Bathroom. “That actually felt pretty good.”

“Oh, yeah!” laughed Mario. “Now let’s get a move-on before it starts stinking!”

They left the Master Bathroom and hurried back toward Hellen’s office.

Gooigi walked forward, placing a hand on Mario’s shoulder. “Mario…” he said.

Mario turned, a sunny smile breaking out on his face. “You’re—Gooigi, right?” he asked.

“That’s me!” Gooigi sang out.

Wordlessly, Mario opened his arms, unconditionally accepting Gooigi as part of his family with that one gesture.

“Bro!” cried Gooigi, jumping into Mario’s arms.

“Thanks for helping my bro, Bro,” said Mario.

“Bro…” sighed Gooigi.

The two separated, and then Mario looked at the door he’d discovered earlier.

“Here I come, Peachy,” he said, opening the door and bravely stepping through.

As Luigi was about to follow, Gadd’s voice came in over the VB.

“I’m detecting an unusual presence behind the door!” exclaimed the Professor. “Are you ready to keep going?”

“You bet I am,” replied Luigi.

“All righty, then,” said Gadd. “I’ve got no more advice to give you. I wish you the best, Luigi. Be careful, and…” He choked back a sob. “God help us all.”

“Professor, I’m going to make it,” said Luigi. “Against all odds, without hesitation and at any cost.”

“I know you are, youngster,” said Gadd. “It’s just—huh?”

“What is it, Professor?”

“Whoa! Oh, no! Nooooooo!”

Faintly, he could hear the Toads screaming in the background.

“Professor?! You okay?! Hey, Professor! Professor?!”

Static.

Luigi hung up and turned to Gooigi. “We need to get up to the roof—now!” he cried.

He practically threw himself through the door and began to follow Mario down the hall.


	39. Something Strange

_Sigh. I should’ve known Luigi couldn’t talk Mario into laying low. Especially when I’m still in the shark’s jaws. I guess that’s what I’ve always loved about him. Well, here I am, up on the roof, and I have this feeling in my gut. Like King Boo_ knows _Mario want to run to my rescue. He and Luigi both need to be careful. For all I know, they could be wandering right into a trap—_

**…**

It was just like old times.

Mario and Luigi, teaming up and maneuvering past all of the obstacles in their way to defeat the villain and rescue Peach. Telling each other naughty jokes to ease the tension and listening to music on their phones to ease the tedium. Only this time—things were different. The Bros were scaling their way toward the roof of a haunted hotel, both having been in the belly of the beast. While Mario had to survive Hellen Gravely’s unwelcome sexual passes, Luigi had to survive seventeen floors of traps, puzzles, harrowing ghost battles and taunting phone calls. Neither had emerged completely unscathed, but they were still pushing on, motivated by a sense of loyalty and love. That was just how the Super Mario Bros were.

“C’mon—let’s go!” Mario enthusiastically cried, racing up the flights of stairs.

“Coming, Bro!” said Luigi, jogging after him. Of course, his speed was slightly reduced, due to the heavy vacuum on his back.

Atop one flight of stairs was a gaping hole, which Mario expertly leaped across. Luigi, however, played it safe, inching his way across as it crumbled beneath his feet.

“There it is! The exit!” Mario exclaimed, dashing through.

The Bros emerged into the night air, now even chillier due to the high altitude.

“J—s—I should’ve brought a coat,” muttered Mario.

“Here,” said Luigi, wrapping his arms around Mario from behind. “I’ll keep you warm.”

“Thanks, Bro,” said Mario.

It lasted only for a few moments, and then the man in red took off again, towards a ladder. “This way!” he shouted, vaulting into the air and executing his signature wall-jumps.

Luigi rolled his eyes. “Showoff,” he muttered.

“Hey, Luigi…”

Gooigi appeared beside him, joined by Polterpup.

“Yeah?” asked Luigi.

“I wanna ask you something before we head up there,” said Gooigi.

“Shoot.”

“What happened in the Master Bedroom…” Gooigi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Did it mean something to you? Because it _definitely_ meant something to me.”

“Gooigi—of course it meant something to me,” Luigi said softly. “I’ve always wanted to challenge my boundaries like that. It was a thrilling and daring experience, and…”

Gooigi sighed in relief. “Great,” he breathed. “I just—I don’t want it to interfere with—this.”

“Rest assured, Gooigi—it won’t get weird,” smiled Luigi. “I mean, it could get a _little_ weird, but—you know.”

“I know.”

“Hey, you two!” Mario called down to them. “Let’s-a go!”

“We’ll talk later, yeah?” Luigi said to Gooigi.

“Yeah.”

Luigi recalled Gooigi to his Plexiglass tank and worked his way up the ladder, pausing to rest intermittently.

“C’mon—Lil’ Bro! I know you can wall-jump, too!” said Mario. “Not only that, you can also jump higher!”

“Bro—I don’t know if you’ve noticed already—but I’m currently wearing expensive and irreplaceable ghost-hunting equipment on my back,” said Luigi. “The only thing that can stand a ghost of a chance against that fiend, I might add.”

“Luigi…” Mario softened his voice. “I know you’ve gone through a lot tonight. But King Boo is _nothing_ like Koopa. At least Koopa has genuine feelings for Peachy and treats her relatively well when he has her in his castle. King Boo, however…”

“I get it,” said Luigi. “I’m almost there, Bro.”

He scurried the rest of the way to the top and found Mario, quietly weeping as he pressed his face against Peach’s portrait.

“I’m sorry, Peachy—I’m so sorry!” sobbed Mario, softly stroking his Princess’s image. “You don’t deserve me—you deserve someone better! How can I protect you when I can’t even protect myself?”

“Big Bro…” whispered Luigi as he approached.

“Look what King Boo did—and I couldn’t stop it,” Mario went on. “I could _never_ stop him—I’m defenseless against him! I—I—oh, Peachy! Please, forgive me!”

_Mario, please, don’t cry. Like Luigi said, none of this is your fault._

“And on the Moon, when I expected you to marry me just because…” Mario sniffled. “D—mit! I’m such an idiot! I’m stupid and foolish and naïve! I’d make for a lousy husband!” He sobbed even harder.

_Oh, Mario—I think you’d be a_ terrific _husband. It’s just—I’m not ready. And neither are you._

“Big Bro…” Luigi said again, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I need to…”

Mario turned to face his lil’ bro, face sticky with tears. “Luigi,” he said frantically. “You’re the only one with the know-how. You’ve gotta do something! Please!”

His eyes fell on Luigi’s flashlight. “That—rainbow beam you used to free me and the others—the Dark Light or whatever—can’t you use that to free Peachy?”

“Definitely,” responded Luigi, “but I’ll need you to step back in order for it to work.”

Mario wiped his tears. “Do what you have to,” he said, moving aside a short distance. “Hurry!”

“Don’t move too far away, though,” cautioned Luigi. “She’ll probably be a little disoriented once my Dark Light draws her out.”

“Okay,” said Mario. “You hear that, Peachy? Luigi’s here, and he’s getting you out of that d—n portrait!”

_I see him—I see him_ …

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi, training his DLD on Peach’s portrait. “Get ready to catch her…”

“All right,” Mario said quietly, holding out his arms.

The multicolored beam enveloped the Mushroom Princess, and she slowly became colorized, gracefully floating out of her portrait prison thanks to her signature glide. Softly, she landed on the roof, giggling as she saw the Bros waiting for her.

“There they are!” she cried. “There are my boys!”

“Peachy!” shouted Mario, racing forward, with Luigi following suit.

Peach laughed heartily as she threw her arms around both brothers.

“I knew King Boo’s b.s. wouldn’t keep you down for long,” she said to Mario. And to Luigi, she added, “and I knew that you’d get your hands on another ghost-catching contraption. Well done, both of you.”

She kissed both men on the nose, causing little hearts to burst out of them.

“Peachy…” sighed Mario.

Peach scrutinized Mario, seeing the lipstick marks on his skin. “Oh, my God,” she gasped.

“I can explain…” Mario started to say.

“You, too?” she cut him off. “Hellen _hurt_ you, too?!”

“Yes,” replied Mario. “Peachy, do you hate me?”

“Hell, no! You came back for me!”

“But I couldn’t stop them!”

Peach kissed him again, this time on the lips. “You fought your hardest to escape,” she said. “It’s the effort that counts.”

“But—Hellen—made me…”

“And she made _me_ , along with that psycho King, but that doesn’t mean…” Peach trailed off. “When I saw you in that portrait, I…”

“Shh. I know. And when I saw them doing _that_ to you, I…”

“Shh. _I_ know.”

“Are you…?” Luigi spoke up. “Are you two gonna be okay?”

Mario and Peach exchanged a glance.

“Yeah,” Peach said softly, “we _will_ be. With time. How about you? Are _you_ okay?”

“Honestly, Sis—right now, I think I’m pretty far from okay,” Luigi replied, “but thanks to you guys, I’ll get by.”

“It looks like those ghosts did a number on you,” said Peach.

“They did, but Hellen was the worst,” Luigi told her. “She went after my puppy! So I went John Wick on her.”

“Good for you!” chuckled Peach. “If I hadn’t been sealed up in a painting, then I would’ve made her _pay_ for what she did to Mario!”

“ _That_ I would’ve loved to see,” Mario said heartily.

Peach’s eyes widened, and she spun toward Luigi. “Wait—did you say ‘Sis’?” she asked.

Luigi blushed. “Well—after 34 years, I don’t know if I should address you as _Principessa_ —or _sorella_.”

“ _Sorella_ ,” murmured Peach. “That means ‘sister’, right?”

“Right.”

“Well—it’s not official, and I don’t think it _will_ be for some time. But if you think of me as your sister—then I think of you as my brother.”

Luigi gave a [bleep]-eating grin. “Okeydokey, Sis!”

The trio grabbed each other for another group hug.

“We’re one big, weird, happy family,” Peach said warmly.

“You said it,” said Mario.

Peach and her boys stood there on the roof, huddled in each other’s arms. They’d end this harrowing adventure in peace.

But then, the peace was horrifically shattered.

King Boo’s evil cackle sounded behind them, and the three turned around to face the Master of Illusions.

“Bro! Sis! Get out of here, now!” Luigi urgently shouted.

“No, not without you!” Peach and Mario said in unison.

King Boo narrowed his eyes as he studied the three. “You couldn’t live with your own failures,” he taunted. “You just couldn’t stand the harsh truth that you were unable to protect those you loved the most. And where did that bring you? Back to me.”

“That’s right,” said Luigi. “We’re all loads of stubborn.”

“And how brash of you to come and face me, Luigi!” giggled King Boo. “You should’ve just run away while you had the chance!”

“And leave them behind?” Luigi shot back, indicating Mario and Peach. “No way in the Inferno!”

“Your decision to fight all the way up here to oppose me could be your undoing!” spat King Boo. “You may have made your way through the hotel using that geezer’s frustrating inventions to suck up all the ghosts in your path—you were all ‘SHWEEERRPP-SHLOOOOP-WHOOORPP-SHLEEEOOORG’! Ahem. Anyway, it doesn’t matter that you vacuumed up all of those ghosts, and it doesn’t matter that you vacuumed up the hotel owner—a.k.a. my brilliant fan-club president! You still can’t take me on!”

“Oh, yes he can!” Peach bravely piped up. “He whipped your marshmallowy [bleep] twice already! You know what they say—the third time’s the charm!”

“Oooh—so feisty,” giggled the King. “Tell you what—I’m at the end of my rope regarding the way things turned out, but out of the kindness of my heart, I’ll offer you a choice. You can fight, and all of you will wind up in paintings, or you can _not_ fight, in which case only _most_ of you will wind up in paintings. Peachy here can rule at my side as my Queen, and I’ll happily share her with my closest friend and political ally.”

“In your dreams,” Peach spat in disgust.

“She’s right,” growled Mario. “We’ll _never_ surrender to you!”

“That goes double for me!” Luigi led the charge. “I’d rather _die_ than let you win!”

A sinister snarl warped King Boo’s features. “I throw you a f—ing bone, and you spit in my face!” he yelled. “Ugh! I’m _sick_ of this! No more mercy for you, Luigi! I will _shred_ you and your world down to its last atom, and then, with my reliable power-enhanced gem, create a new one, teeming with life that will _for once_ appreciate my taste in fine art!”

“Born out of blood,” said Luigi.

“They’ll never know it—because _you_ won’t be around to tell them!” gloated King Boo. “No more tricks—no more carefully laid plans! Now it’s time for raw King Boo gusto!”

Luigi turned to Peach and Mario. “I’ll hold him off,” he said. “Please—just go!”

“Not a chance in Hell,” Peach said adamantly.

“You’ve always put us before yourself, Luigi,” added Mario. “Who’s gonna do the same for _you_?”

King Boo laughed maniacally. “Oh, you’re not going anywhere—except in a painting!” he cried. “An ensemble portrait is your fate!”

His crown gleamed ominously, and the King used his magic to levitate Gadd’s lab into the air and shatter it, revealing Gadd, Thad, Brad and Chad.

Luigi reached out to the quartet. “Guys!” he shouted desperately.

“L!” shouted Brad as he and the others kicked and twisted. “King Boo’s gone insane! He’s gonna…!”

King Boo didn’t let him finish, dragging the struggling and screaming quartet into a large portrait frame.

“Serves you right!” sneered the King. Glowering down at the trio on the roof, he added, “Just a few left. Go on—join them! My new painting _must_ be complete!”

Glaring at the sadistic King, Mario stood protectively in front of Peach—only for her to do something which completely stunned him.

“No!” Peach bravely shouted, stepping in front of her heroes, her arms held out protectively, as the portrait frame arced toward them. “Stop this nonsense! Take _me_ instead!” She reasoned that she’d only have to endure the Master of Illusions until he tired of her, after which he’d “gift” her to his erstwhile close friend and political and military ally, the Koopa King, who at least knew how to treat a Princess. And that reptile was an enemy the Mario Bros could handle, so with _some_ luck, she’d be back in her castle in the MK before she knew it.

Luigi, however, would have none of it. To Peach’s and Mario’s great shock, he leaped in front of them, pushing them behind him and facing King Boo and the large portrait frame head-on. “No!” he bellowed to his nemesis at the top of his lungs. “ _No_! You can’t have them, you hear me?! You can’t have them!”

“Oh, yes, I can—and oh, yes, I will,” giggled King Boo.

“Luigi…” gasped Peach.

Putting his safety, life and well-being at risk for those close to him day in and day out was one thing, but letting himself get sealed in a portrait for them?!

Standing there and staring down a portrait frame, the Mushroom Princess began to think. Luigi standing as a human shield in front of her and Mario was a thoughtful gesture, but it would ultimately do them no good—they’d all wind up captured anyway, and their chances of winning would be zip. Her gaze swept over the Poltergust on his back—the only viable weapon against the Master of Illusions. Since he was the only one with the experience, skill and know-how when it came to ghost-fighting, he needed to be out of the portrait frame’s trajectory. With the man in green in the clear and well-armed, their chances would skyrocket from 0 to 99.999—one had to leave _some_ degree of uncertainty, you know.

Peach glimpsed, out of the corner of her eye, Polterpup chasing after the bats that had flown out of the portrait frame. And then she knew what she had to do.

She reached out and placed a hand on Luigi’s shoulder. The green-clad ghost hunter turned his head to look at her.

“You got this, Luigi,” Peach said soothingly. “I know you do.”

“Wha…?” asked Luigi.

But then, Peach lightly shoved him into Polterpup’s line of vision. “It’ll be a _piece of cake_!” she exclaimed.

Upon hearing the secret phrase, Polterpup snapped his head up and saw his master in danger. Standing there with his brother and unofficial sister-in-law, with King Boo about to bring down a large portrait frame on them. The paranormal pup swiftly accessed the situation and snapped into action, bounding forward and tackling Luigi out of the way with just seconds to spare.

Peach smiled at Luigi as she calmly took Mario’s hand. “You got this!” she shouted encouragingly as the portrait frame slammed onto the pair.

Luigi lay where Polterpup had tackled him, gasping. The ghost puppy woofed energetically, urging his master back up.

“Hey,” he laughed as the pup licked his cheek. “Hey, doggie! Good job! How did you know…?”

“Arf! Arf!”

Luigi hopped to his feet and saw King Boo lift the large portrait frame off the ground, now containing the six people who cared about him most in this world. A triumphant smirk was on the King’s face as he studied the portrait, smelled it, gave it a slow, sensual lick—and then it faded as he realized that there was one person missing.

“What the…?” King Boo sharply glanced downward and saw Luigi, one hand on his chest as he pulled himself together. Polterpup stood at his side, coiled as if to pounce on the fiend, eyes narrowed, growling.

“Luigi! What are you doing over there?!” he demanded.

A hysterical laugh slipped from Luigi. “Looks like—Fate is—on my side tonight,” he said.

“ ** _GOD—MIT_**!” roared the King of all Boos. “That’s _it_! I’m sick to double death of you!”

Luigi’s breathing steadied. “And I’m sick to _triple_ death of _you_!” he retorted.

“You wanna fight me?!” snarled King Boo. “FINE! Let’s go, Luigi! This is the end for you, once and for all! HERE I COME!”

Luigi brandished the Poltergust G-00. “Bring it!” he hollered. 

“Arf! Arf!” added Polterpup.

His eyes locked on King Boo, Luigi summoned Gooigi from the Plexiglass tank. “All right, Gooigi,” he said. “This is it—this is the fight of our lives. That scumbag over there has our friends in an ‘ensemble portrait’, and it was Peach and Polterpup who gave me another fighting chance. Are you with me?”

Gooigi looked at King Boo, and then he nodded. “Once more into the fray,” he said. “Into the last good fight I’ll ever know.”

“Live and die on this day,” finished Luigi. “Live and die on this day.”

“Do not go gentle into that good night,” said Gooigi.

“Rage—rage—against the dying of the light,” said Luigi. Tightening his grip on the Poltergust and lancing his steely stare into King Boo, he added, “Let’s get this S.O.B.”


	40. Pray for Me

Atop the towering peak of the Last Resort, eighteen stories above the ground and beneath an ironically calm and starry sky, two bitter enemies were having their last dance. In this corner was the black-hearted and morally bankrupt King of all Boos, Lord of Ghost Houses and the Master of Illusions. And in this corner was the pure-hearted, selfless man in green not known for his bravery but driven nonetheless—Luigi. He was joined by his gooey doppelganger, Gooigi, and his lovable canine companion, Polterpup. In the battle to presumably end all battles between them, only one of these parties would emerge the victor. The stakes—freedom or eternal imprisonment.

Usually, Luigi would pocket his cell phone, as a throwdown with his nemesis required both ears open. But tonight, he’d make an exception. He connected his phone to a portable Bluetooth speaker, turned the volume up to the max and selected a playlist which he knew would power him through this battle before pressing “play”.

“All right, King Boo,” he said, with just a touch of apprehension in his voice. “It’s just you and me. Right here, right now.”

Battle lust shone in King Boo’s eyes, and he licked his lips. “D—n straight, Luigi,” he said. “Let’s dance. I’ll lead.”

His bejeweled crown glowed, dark thunderclouds rolling in as all but several sections of the roof were illuminated. Luigi had seen this move before during their fight in that nightmarish dimension, and he dashed toward a section that wasn’t lit up, yelling out a warning to Gooigi as he did. The two reached safety in the nick of time, pink electricity sizzling down around them. King Boo repeated this move several more times, but his foe was just too fast, only taking hits whenever he shoved his two allies out of harm’s way.

“Seriously?” laughed Luigi as he cartwheeled away from more rounds of lightning strikes. “That move’s getting kinda old.”

King Boo glared at him. “Well, here’s a little something _new_!” he spat, lashing out with his long tongue.

Again and again, the tongue slammed onto the roof, trying to flatten Luigi. Luck was still on the man in green’s side, as he got away with a few glancing blows. It was Gooigi who took the full impact, but he’d just regenerate in that Plexiglass tank and be out and about in no time. And of course, there was Polterpup, racing about the battlefield, seeing every opportunity to protect his master with well-timed affectionate tackles.

“How do you like _that_ , Luigi?” growled King Boo.

Luigi gazed steadily at him, his grip on the Poltergust as firm as ever. “Not even a love tap,” he replied.

Several times, the King swung his long tongue across the roof. But Luigi and Gooigi treated it like a jump rope, vaulting over it with Burst. After that was a swift barrage of large fireballs, which could be evaded with simple dodging or another Burst. However, Luigi took it upon himself to shield Gooigi from the onslaught of fire, taking several burns in the process.

“Don’t worry about me!” Gooigi exclaimed. “ _I_ can reform after being hit by a fireball. _You_ can’t!”

“It’s only a scratch, Gooigi,” said Luigi as he prepared for the King’s next attack. “It’s only a scratch.”

With a mad cackle, King Boo summoned those large, spiked balls, hurling them Luigi’s way.

“God—I hate those things,” huffed Luigi as he leaped and cartwheeled about.

The balls smashed on the ground, leaving bombs in their wake. And this was exactly what Luigi was waiting for—the King utilizing something that could be weaponized against him. He grabbed the first bomb he saw into the suction, aimed for the King’s mouth and fired, doing the same with some more nearby bombs.

King Boo only had a second to realize what was about to happen before the bombs detonated in his mouth, sending him reeling and coughing. He hit the ground, dazed, his tongue hanging out limply. And Luigi saw his chance to strike.

“C’mon, Gooigi!” he yelled, the two ghost hunters running forward and suctioning King Boo’s tongue onto their vacuums.

Fiery energy surged through Luigi’s veins as he and Gooigi slammed King Boo hard against the roof, over and over and over, so hard that the impact left small craters behind. Silently, the man in green dedicated each slam to each person his nemesis terrorized and who he’d _never_ terrorize again. And with each person, the slams grew more and more brutal. King Boo had crossed a line tonight—there would be no more Mr. Nice Plumber from here on in!

After one hefty slam, King Boo broke free and cackled maniacally, his crown crackling and sparking ominously. A bright light washed over the roof, and when it faded, Luigi found himself face-to-face with two King Boos!

“Now I have a doppelganger, too!” boasted the Master of Illusions.

Cackling in unison, the two King Boos pounced on the rooftop, producing large shockwaves as they did. They repeated the attack several times, and while they were unable to smash Luigi into paste, they _were_ able to knock him around with the shockwaves. They’d leave him slightly dazed, but he’d still push himself back up, watching, waiting for the King and his clone to mess up and send out something he could use against them.

“The imposter is the one with two fangs,” he said to Gooigi. “The real one has four fangs. If he sends the bombs at us again—aim for the one with four fangs.”

“Four fangs—got it!” cried Gooigi.

The two Kings charged up their electric attack, forcing Gooigi and Luigi to dive for a section of the floor that wasn’t ominously glowing pink. This time around, only three or two sections were unlit, and the duo sometimes weren’t fast enough. Gooigi wound up splattered into oblivion once or twice, and Luigi wound up zapped, his vision briefly going hazy. But the electric attacks wouldn’t stop him, neither would the dual fireball attack and neither would the dual tongue attack. For in the background floated Mario, Peach, Gadd, Thad, Brad and Chad, trapped in a portrait prison, no doubt watching his every move. For their sake, he had to keep on—keep on fighting.

_Do it for them. Do it for them. Do it for them,_ he repeated, again and again and again until the mantra seemed to back up the songs on his playlist.

_Do it for them—_

**…**

_God—mit! I can’t see anything! I can’t see anything! I think I’m_ suffocating _!_

Professore _! Take my hand!_

Professor Gadd did as instructed. And at once, the barrier of colors before him parted, and he could breathe and see. There was Luigi, evading King Boo’s attacks alongside Gooigi, shooting the bombs into the King’s mouth to stun him and then mercilessly slamming him all over the roof. Polterpup scurried around the battlefield, woofing encouragement. The green-clad ghost hunter’s face was flint, and there was nervousness in his eyes, but the determination was there, too. A motivational song was playing on a Bluetooth loudspeaker, and the lyrics seemed to spur Luigi on.

Gadd turned to Mario. “How are you doing that?” he asked.

“I just am,” Mario responded.

Near the man in red, Peach floated in serene silence, her eyes closed, a small smile on her lips, a baby pink glow surrounding her body. It was as if she were oblivious to being stuck in a strange void, courtesy of a psychotic Boo. She was aware of her predicament, of course, but she wasn’t about to be a stereotypical damsel in distress, all screaming and hysterical and begging for a big, strong man to save her. That wouldn’t help, now would it?

_Luigi—Luigi—can you hear me? Can you hear us?_

_Loud and clear._

_Then listen very carefully. It wasn’t just coincidence that Polterpup pushed you out of the way. It was the hand of Providence. You needed someone to put your life before theirs, the same way you do for us—and I chose Polterpup, because I know he loves you, and you love him. I couldn’t let you get captured along with us, because then, there would be no hope of stopping King Boo. Mario, the Toads and I are unskilled at ghost-wrangling, and the Professor is just an old man. That leaves you. So—hold nothing back, Luigi. We know you can do it!_

_Don’t worry, Sis. I won’t let you down!_

The glow around Peach brightened, spreading toward her fellow captives and filling them with hope and strength.

“ _Dio_ ,” breathed Mario. “Are you using your Wish Power?”

Peach nodded, eyes still closed. Then, she began to concentrate hard, her brow furrowing.

“You think it can stand up to King Boo’s magic?” Chad piped up.

Peach nodded again.

Mario, the Toads and Gadd found themselves drawn toward Peach, earning them a better view of the fight below. The red-clad hero slid his free hand into his Princess’s, and Thad grabbed onto Peach’s other hand. He, Brad and Chad held hands, as well, with Chad taking Gadd’s remaining hand, so that they all were arranged in a circle.

_We can help him, you guys. We_ have _to. We need to give him as much love as we can—it’s love that’s keeping his fear at bay! Professor—you’ve always believed that love can conquer fear._

_Yes, I have._

_Well, then—I say we give King Boo a little demonstration. On the count of three, we’re gonna send Luigi all of our love, all of our support, all of our encouragement. Is everybody ready?_

_Ready!_

_Ready!_

_Ready!_

_Ready!_

_Ready!_

_Okay! One—two—three!_

**…**

Luigi gasped deeply as renewed vigor coursed through him. Pain and fatigue had crept in, but it was now neatly banished to the corners of his mind, replaced by waves and waves of adrenaline. Faintly at first, and then louder, came the voices of his brother, his “sister”, his mentor and the three Toads, urging him on, joining up with the music still blaring over the Bluetooth speaker, Polterpup’s woofing and his silent mantra. His grip tightened on the Poltergust, and he wrenched his body erect. He was covered in bruises, burns and slashes, but he wasn’t beaten. King Boo had to try harder in order to make that possible!

He and Gooigi ran for the group of bombs that had landed in the middle of the roof, launching them one-by-one into their adversary’s mouth. King Boo’s body swelled, fire and smoke shooting from between his lips as the bombs exploded, rendering him down for the count.

With a passionate battle cry, Luigi charged forward, and he and Gooigi grabbed the King’s tongue in their vacuums. King Boo loved his tongue very much—he enjoyed licking imprisoned people and long-suffering plumbers with it—and now, Luigi and Gooigi were using it to heap on the pain.

Over and over, they slammed King Boo onto the roof, leaving more craters as they went. With each slam, Luigi heard his imperiled friends send up a loud cheer, which only impelled him to double, triple and quadruple the force behind his slams. Once again, a slam was dedicated to each person that King Boo traumatized, tortured and threatened. Heaving on the inhale and slamming on the exhale, Luigi kept up his efforts, even when his arms started screaming at him, even when his skin grew hot, even when his face reddened and even when sweat droplets slid slowly down his forehead, temples, cheeks and nose. Images of Mario, Peach, Gadd and the Toads immobilized and at King Boo’s mercy quickly flashed through his mind. Never again, never again!

He stifled a frustrated cry as King Boo once again tore himself free, feeling Gooigi’s hand on the small of his back, calming him, bringing him back down to Earth. As for King Boo, _his_ composure was shot to Hell. This green _worm_ had humiliated him for the last time!

“That’s _it_!” he screamed. “I have had enough of your [bleep]!”

He whirled on the “ensemble portrait” and fired a bolt of magic from his crown at it, causing it to grow and grow and _grow_. Within seconds, the portrait frame had covered the sky, and it was positioned directly over the Last Resort.

The earth began to shake, trees uprooting themselves from the ground. As Luigi and Gooigi struggled not to lose their balance, they found themselves staring up into a nightmarish morass of bright colors. Luigi’s breath caught in his chest as the huge portrait frame began to move—toward him.

_King Boo was gonna trap the entire Last Resort in a painting!_

**…**

On the 8th floor, Morty was in his office, thinking about his latest accomplishments, when a curious tremoring startled him back into the real world.

“What the…?” he uttered. “Are we having an earthquake?”

Then, he heard the sound of distant, evil cackling, repeated thudding, lightning strikes, explosions, grunts and cries of pain.

“It’s coming from the roof,” Morty realized, phasing out of the window and floating toward the rooftop for a better look.

He wasn’t prepared for the sight that met his eyes.

The first thing he saw was King Boo, the one who’d given him that elevator button, joined by two clones. These clones were currently attacking his leading man, Luigi, with giant, spiked balls, electricity, their own tongues, their own bodies and God knows what else! Above them, a giant portrait frame steadily descended on the hotel, seeking to trap everything and everyone inside. Luigi was holding up well, along with his co-star, Gooigi, but if he didn’t defeat the King soon—then the entire universe was doomed!

“Holy [bleep]!” gasped Morty, finger-framing the scene before him. “This is _not_ good!”

He dashed back into the studio, grabbing all of his filming equipment. Then, he turned to his crew.

“Evacuate the building now!” he ordered. “Help as many as you can, and take only what you can carry! This is no [bleep]! Some f—ing whackjob wants to shove us all into a giant painting! Drop whatever you’re doing, and move your [bleeps]! Remain calm, and evacuate the premises! Repeat, evacuate now! Evacuate now! This is no d—n drill!”

The ghosts on the floor obliged, snatching up film reels and equipment. Some descended to the lower and upper floors to warn the remaining ghosts there of the situation. Then, they joined Morty near the rooftop, where the ghostly director trained his camera on the escalating battle between Luigi and King Boo.

“God—please, don’t take Luigi away,” prayed Morty. “Please…”

**…**

SLAM!

For the umpteenth time, King Boo broke free of his opponents’ vacuums, seething. His entire rotund body trembled in homicidal rage. If he was indeed on his way out, then he wasn’t going out alone!

“In all my years of conquest, violence, amassing my fine art collection—it was never personal,” he growled, lancing Luigi with a look of extreme hate. “But I’ll tell you now, what I’m about to do to you, your pathetic little world and everyone you’ve ever loved—I’m gonna enjoy it. Very, very much!”

He drew his sword and pointed it at Luigi’s face, laughing evilly as the portrait frame continued its descent.

Gooigi drew in a long breath. “Whatever it takes,” he said.

“Whatever it takes,” Luigi replied. “We’re in the endgame now. And in the endgame—anything will happen.”

Shouting another impassioned battle cry, the duo brandished their Poltergusts and charged back into the most pivotal fight of their lives.

**…**

_You can do it, Luigi. You can do it. You can do it._

_You._

_Can._

_Do._

_It—_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will have three endings: Bad, Bittersweet and Good. Up first is the Bad ending.


	41. That's Life (BAD ENDING)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Blood, violence and character death.

Luigi tasted his own blood. It trickled and dribbled into his mouth, thick, warm, coppery and sweet. He paid it no mind, however, gripping the nozzle of his vacuum so tightly that the imprint of his knuckles was visible through his white gloves. Above him, the King and his two clones continued to attack him, shocking sections of the roof, throwing those spiked balls, peppering the battlefield with large fireballs, whipping their tongues at him—and now slashing at him with their swords. But Luigi bore through it all, dashing into action whenever they threw bombs, scooping them up and firing them into the real King’s mouth so that he and Gooigi could slam him about like a ragdoll. In his mind, he pictured his mentor, his brother, his “sister” and the three Toad retainers, watching him hopefully, as the decisive final battle between him and the sadistic King raged on.

However, things didn’t look good. The large portrait frame loomed closer and closer, and with each passing minute, King Boo’s attacks grew more vicious. Well, if he was going all-out, then so would Luigi. The King’s increased savagery served to ramp up Luigi’s resolve. He was beaten, slashed up and frazzled at the measures his opponent was currently taking, and the drilling pain was harder to ignore, but he _had_ to try.

Presently, he had King Boo on the floor, dazed, his tongue hanging out. Concentrating hard, Luigi seized his tongue in the vacuum, and as Gooigi assisted, he heaved and slammed him repeatedly on the ground, the same way he’d taken care of the Boos earlier. If the King of all Boos was willing to drop a gigantic portrait frame on the entire hotel, and quite possibly himself, then that made him an enemy with nothing to lose—the most dangerous adversary by far. Luigi had to defeat him as quickly as possible!

King Boo broke free of the twin Poltergusts, leering at Luigi and Gooigi with those glowing violet eyes. “You think you’ve stopped me?” he spat. “You’ve stopped _nothing_.”

“Oh, we’ll see,” Luigi said steadily.

Once again, King Boo split himself into three, the clones quickly surrounding the ghost-busting pair. Above them was a miasma of color as the large portrait frame further lurched toward the building. The tremors intensified, uprooted trees and all sorts of debris floating upward into the frame’s gaping maw. Luigi became conscious of a dull, ominous droning sound, a sound neatly drowned out by King Boo’s laughter.

_You don’t have much time, L! You gotta stop this guy!_

King Boo and his two clones circled Luigi and Gooigi, firing bolts of electricity and dark magic from their crowns. The barrage came out of nowhere, and it was too difficult for them to dodge. They could safely evade only one or two before the rest overcame them. However, Luigi pushed himself up and knocked the three Boos back with Burst, giving himself and Gooigi enough time to regroup.

“Is that the best you can do?!” he hollered.

As if in response, the gems on the Kings’ crowns glowed a blinding white, spawning random ghosts who quickly swarmed Luigi and Gooigi. Now, the two had to battle these ghosts, mostly Goobs and Hammers, while also being on the lookout for King Boo and his clones, who moved in with their swords, hacking and slicing away.

“I’ll take care of the ghosts!” Gooigi shouted after a while. “You just deal with King Boo!”

“Don’t worry about the ghosts!” Luigi shouted back. “They’re a diversion! Why do you think he spawned them in the first place?!”

He ducked and rolled to avoid several sword swipes, only to wind up in the trajectory of a fireball. The projectile knocked him onto his back, leaving a frightful burn along his abdomen, but he sucked in his breath and pushed himself back up, yanking Gooigi out of the way of another fireball.

More fireballs started coming at them, fast and hard, and at the same time, King Boo and his clones strafed our heroes with bombs. Meanwhile, the large portrait frame was still descending—in fact, its descent seemed to be speeding up. At this point, Luigi thought he could hear faint screams coming from inside the portrait frame.

“I gotta stop him—I gotta stop him,” Luigi breathed, searching through the onslaught of bombs for one with a relatively long fuse. Unfortunately, the flurries of explosions knocked him back, and the Kings’ tongues would whip out at him, tripping him and trying to mash him into the floor. A Burst or two would fend them off—but not for long.

King Boo and his clones growled in frustration as Luigi willed himself back on his feet.

“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?!” the former roared.

Luigi spat out a mouthful of blood and leveled his Poltergust at the King’s face. “I can do this all day,” he spat.

King Boo just laughed. “Well, unfortunately for you— _neither_ _of us have that long_!”

The King and his clones went back on the attack, sending more fireballs, electricity, spiked balls, bombs and ghosts after Luigi and Gooigi. The stout-hearted man in green and his gooey doppelganger were able to get some hits in, but their efforts were growing increasingly futile. That portrait frame was looming closer and closer, and it wouldn’t be long until everyone in its trajectory was swallowed up.

_Hurry, Luigi! Hurry!_

_It’s getting closer!_

_He’s not gonna make it—he’s not gonna make it—oh, God, he’s not gonna make it!_

“I’m gonna make it!” yelled Luigi. “I _have_ to! I’m _not_ getting this far just to let you all down!”

“Think again, Luigi,” hissed King Boo.

He thrashed himself against the roof, his two clones following suit. Luigi and Gooigi dodged the pounces and used Burst to hurdle over the shockwaves, but the former’s battle wounds were beginning to take their toll.

_Can’t—give up—have to—keep going_ , he thought, forcing the pain to the back of his mind.

Giggling, King Boo and his clones brought their swords to bear.

“Getting exhausted, are we?” King Boo taunted. “Well, don’t worry—it’ll all be over soon.”

Luigi sucked in deep breaths as the swords cleaved through the air, dodging, rolling and cartwheeling and praying for an opening. He saw a lone bomb, _just resting there_ , as if saying to Luigi, “Here I am—come get me.” And so the man in green made a desperate dash for it.

He was fast.

King Boo was faster.

Just as he heard his friends scream out a warning, piercing pain tore through him as King Boo drove his sword into his leg. With a grunt, Luigi fell to one knee, only to stubbornly attempt to drag himself back up.

“Luigi!” Gooigi shouted, running over.

“Don’t worry about me, Gooigi!” cried Luigi. “Just get that bomb!”

The gooey humanoid saw that bomb—a glimmer of hope—and also made a dive for it. But alas, it wasn’t to be. One of the King Boo clones swooped in and grabbed Gooigi, hoisting him into the air as he kicked, twisted and struggled.

“Hey! Put me down!” Gooigi exclaimed.

“Gooigi—no!” shouted Luigi, reaching out to his gooey bro.

“Gooigi, yes!” retorted King Boo, thrusting his sword into Luigi’s other leg.

Swearing in Italian, Luigi crumpled to the floor, breathing heavily. But even then, he refused to throw in the towel, dragging himself toward the lone bomb.

“Looking for this?” asked the King, picking up the bomb. “Here—let me make it easier for you.”

He chucked the bomb at Luigi, who managed to push himself onto his knees and catch the projectile in his vacuum. Just as he took aim at King Boo’s mouth, however, the sword ripped into his side, the jolt of agony strong enough to jar the nozzle from his hands. The bomb slipped from the nozzle and clattered uselessly to the floor.

It was a dud.

One hand wrapped around his side, Luigi straightened and glared at King Boo.

“Misery, misery, misery,” spat the King as he floated toward him. “That’s what you’ve chosen. You’ve come all this way and saved _no one_. Now, what do you think of _that_?”

Luigi reached for his vacuum, only for King Boo to slash him again.

“You’ve vacuumed up your last ghost, old friend,” hissed King Boo, knocking the man in green onto his back with a bolt of magic before impaling him through both of his shoulders. “If you hadn’t tried to be a hero, then none of this would’ve happened. Soon, this entire hotel will be proudly displayed on my wall—and it’ll be all—your—fault.”

_Don’t listen to him, Luigi! You’re stronger than him! You’re better than him!_

“God—mit, Luigi, get up!” yelled Gooigi, still struggling against the King Boo clone’s grip. “You’re so close! You can’t give up now!”

Painfully, Luigi tried to wriggle away, only for the other King Boo clone to sneak up behind him and ram his sword in between his shoulder blades. The plumber’s eyes watered, and he stifled a scream.

_No! No! Luigi—you have to get up! For God’s sake, get up! Get up, get up!_

“Look at everyone’s favorite ghost hunter now,” jeered King Boo, brandishing two throwing knives and hurling them into Luigi’s palms, pinning them to the rooftop. “You’ve been the bane of my existence for too long, and now—your time is up.”

“Stop it! Stop it right now!” screamed Gooigi, now clawing futilely at the clone’s appendages.

“You know what? I don’t like blobs of Jell-O giving me orders,” sneered King Boo.

“I’m not Jell-O—I’m Goo, you f—ing psycho!” retorted Gooigi.

King Boo grinned morbidly. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he said. “None of it matters.”

The Master of Illusions and his other clone plunged their swords into Luigi, over and over and over again. Poor Gooigi, along with Mario, Peach, Gadd, Thad, Chad and Brad, were forced to watch this brutality.

_Oh, no—this isn’t happening!_

“Oh, yes, it is,” hissed King Boo, “and we’re just getting started!”

Callously, he ripped the Poltergust G-00 off of Luigi’s back and gave it a purely baleful look before he and his clones blasted it with their magic, reducing it to a useless mass of molten material.

“Good riddance,” snarled King Boo before turning his hateful gaze on the still-struggling Gooigi.

“I have a question for you,” he said. “How far can you stretch?”

“You b—d!” shouted Luigi. “You leave him alone!”

But there was nothing he could do.

The other clone approached Gooigi and seized him by his legs, while the clone currently holding him gripped him by his arms. And as Luigi watched in agony, his vision going in and out of focus, the two King Boo clones proceeded to sadistically stretch the gooey humanoid out of shape, laughing as Gooigi screamed.

King Boo held his sword aloft, a tongue of flame beginning to lick up and down the blade, and hovered it just over Gooigi’s tightly stretched body so that he could feel the heat.

“I—I’m sorry, Luigi,” Gooigi said in a strained voice. “I’m so sorry—I couldn’t…”

“That’s right, Gooigi,” sneered King Boo. “You’re a failure who was modeled off of a bigger failure. I just wanted you to know that before you go.”

“Luigi,” said Gooigi. “It’s been an honor…”

But King Boo didn’t let him finish, bringing his sword down on Gooigi’s middle and cutting him neatly in two. Then, the two halves ignited, the King making Luigi watch his gooey bro slowly melt into oblivion.

Tears rolled down Luigi’s face, tears of rage and grief. He’d let everybody down. His family. His friends. Even his gooey doppelganger. He’d clawed his way up to this point, and still—he’d lost.

He heard the sound of wild barking and saw Polterpup racing towards him, a hint of fear in his pupil-less eyes. But just as the ghost dog reached his master, King Boo roughly snatched him up by his collar and tossed him off the roof as if he were yesterday’s garbage.

Now, Luigi was truly alone.

King Boo loomed over the man in green, childish delight in his eyes. “Oh, Luigi—you fought well,” he hissed, “but to no avail. Must be a real bummer, knowing that all of your valiant efforts were in the end for naught.” The Master of Illusions licked the tears and blood off of Luigi’s face. “A terrible disappointment you must be to yourself.”

Rearing back, King Boo buried his sword into Luigi’s abdomen, twisting the blade to guarantee that the pain would be multiplied. More tears squeezed from Luigi’s eyes as an agonized scream escaped from his lungs.

_Luigi!_

The scream dwindled into whimpers, and his body shook as blood poured from his mouth. His strength left him, and he lay there on the floor, limp, watching the portrait frame close in on him.

“It’s over, Luigi,” hissed King Boo. “You’re _done_.”

Luigi was breathing in sobs now. “I’m sorry, everyone,” he choked out. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry—please—I’m sorry…”

King Boo gazed at the fallen ghost hunter for a long time. This was _exactly_ how he wanted to remember Luigi.

“Don’t worry,” he giggled. “I’ll take _good_ care of your friends.”

Satisfied that his parting words had struck their mark, King Boo gave his nemesis a smirk and a mocking half-salute before flying away and leaving the Last Resort—and everyone in it—to a dreadful fate.

The last thing Luigi ever saw was the titanic portrait frame and the unforgiving void within, bearing down on him.

The last thing he ever heard—was that horrible, horrible laugh, mixed in with the voices of the people he’d failed, hysterically screaming his name.

**…**

**_Present Day_ **

King Boo floated happily in his beloved throne room in Boo Woods, studying the large portrait hanging on his wall. It was a painting of a building, at least fifteen stories high, backdropped by a full moon and a starry sky and surrounded by a forest and a mountain range. This was by far King Boo’s favorite piece in his art collection, and you could find him caressing and talking to it as if it were a lover. It was quite an aesthetic piece, but that wasn’t why King Boo considered it so valuable. He cherished that painting because it was a symbol of his hard-earned victory.

As a bonus, he could still hear the desperate screams and cries of the souls trapped within.

“I got you,” King Boo would tell the portrait with a smirk at least once a day. “I got you, you green S.O.B. I got you.”

And then he’d lean forward and drag his tongue up the portrait, listening for _his_ sobs and whimpers.

On this particular day, a blue-hued, blue-haired ghost sporting a beehive hairdo and wearing a dark purple, one shoulder gown relaxed in the throne room, holding a goblet of wine in one hand. A seductive smile was on her face as she studied King Boo. She still couldn’t believe that despite the odds stacked against them, they’d managed to pull off their scheme at the eleventh hour.

“Come back, my King,” she said, “and have some more wine.”

“Just a minute, my darling Hellen,” purred King Boo, eating up the portrait before him with his gaze. He pressed his face to it and inhaled deeply, pleased that he could still smell _his_ fear.

“Talk to you later,” he said before floating over to join Hellen.

Steward entered the room, joined by several Boos, and set down several platters of fruit, cheese and chocolate.

“Thank you, Steward,” said Hellen.

“You’re welcome,” said Steward. “Wow—you finally did it.”

“True,” sighed Hellen.

“If I may—what did it cost?”

Hellen’s eyes flicked toward the large portrait. “Everything,” she softly replied, “but at least I still have you—and a King to keep me company.”

Steward nodded and withdrew, seeing Chambrea waiting for him outside. Wordlessly, he gathered her in his arms as the ghostly maid began to weep.

As for the other boss ghosts—King Boo and Hellen had lost touch with them. They frankly didn’t care what happened to them anymore. They’d served their purpose, and what became of them next was no longer their problem.

King Boo picked up a piece of chocolate and slipped it between Hellen’s lips, the latter humming in pleasure as the dessert melted in her mouth.

“Hey, look,” said the King. “I’m really sorry I had to seal your hotel in a painting. I know it meant a lot to you. But I was at the end of my rope, all right? I didn’t know what else to do.”

“It worked out for the best,” said Hellen, stroking King Boo’s cheek. “Besides, I have someone better.”

“Oh, Hellen,” blushed King Boo.

“I mean it, my King. We get to share this lovely victory together. You have everything you’ve ever wanted, and so do I.”

“Well—almost everything,” said King Boo.

Hellen frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

She gasped as King Boo alighted on the ground before her and pulled out a ring with a bauble mounted on it.

“It’s still so surreal, knowing that I have a big fan in this cold world,” said King Boo, “and even though our path to victory was rocky, I wouldn’t have made it without you. We make a great team—perhaps more than a team.”

Tears came to Hellen’s eyes, and she bit her lip.

“Hellen Gravely—please, be my Queen,” said King Boo.

“Yes,” Hellen said instantly. “Yes—I will. I _will_ be your Queen!”

She threw her arms around him and pressed her lips to his, and then he slid the ring onto her finger.

“Looks like we have a wedding to plan,” said King Boo, “but we’ll worry about that later, won’t we?”

Hellen laughed softly. “We have all the time in the world,” she added.

King Boo rose, picked out a CD and inserted it into the music player. “May I have this dance?” he asked.

“Sure,” said Hellen.

As the music began to play, the King of all Boos and his future Queen glided gracefully about the large throne room. But they weren’t really listening to the song—they were listening to the screams from within the portrait.

And if you sit still long enough during the darkest part of the night, then you’ll hear them, too.

Listen…

**…**

_If you’re out there—if you can hear us—please—tell your friends. Tell someone you love—tell anyone you trust—tell them what happened to us. Please—tell them—before it happens to you and yours…_

**That's life (that's life), that's what all the people say  
You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May  
But I know I'm gonna change that tune  
When I'm back on top, back on top in June  
  
I said that's life (that's life), and as funny as it may seem  
Some people get their kicks stompin' on a dream  
But I don't let it, let it get me down  
'cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around  
  
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king  
I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing  
Each time I find myself flat on my face  
I pick myself up and get back in the race  
  
That's life (that's life), I tell you I can't deny it  
I thought of quitting, baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it  
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try  
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly  
  
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king  
I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing  
Each time I find myself layin' flat on my face  
I just pick myself up and get back in the race  
  
That's life (that's life), that's life and I can't deny it  
Many times I thought of cuttin' out but my heart won't buy it  
But if there's nothin' shakin' come this here July  
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball a-and die  
  
My, my!**

**-Frank Sinatra, “That’s Life”**

* * *

**Good Night!**


	42. Forever and For Always (BITTERSWEET ENDING)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains violence, blood and character death.

Luigi tasted his own blood. It trickled and dribbled into his mouth—warm, thick, coppery and sweet. However, he paid it no mind, gripping the Poltergust G-00 so tightly that it hurt. Everything hurt, but he welcomed the pain. He welcomed the blood. He welcomed the bruising. It meant that he was still here, still fighting.

Above him, King Boo and his two clones continued attacking him and Gooigi—but mostly him. They shocked the rooftop with lightning strikes. They clobbered or tried to clobber him with their tongues. They bombarded him with basketball-sized fireballs and large spiked balls. They blasted dark magic at him. And they sliced and stabbed at him with their swords. However, nothing worked—Luigi braved and endured until his opponents started showering him with bombs. Dodging the explosions, he scooped up the first bomb he saw and fired it into the real King’s mouth, stunning him so that he and Gooigi could slam him around like a rag doll.

In Luigi’s mind, he pictured the faces of his brother, his “sister”, his mentor and the three Toad retainers, watching his every move with hope in their eyes. He heard their voices, cheering him on—from Peach’s calming dulcet to Mario’s chipper falsetto and Gadd’s authoritative tone. He felt that quiet inner strength, surging through him—and he raised his head and stared King Boo down. He was gonna end the King’s reign of terror, or die trying!

The decisive final battle raged on, the advantage wildly seesawing back and forth. King Boo’s rage and powerful magic would dominate one minute—only for Luigi’s clever tactics, coordination with Gooigi and determination to take over the next. Albeit the outlook was quite iffy for the man in green and his gooey doppelganger, the former maintained a “glass half-full” approach, quadrupling his efforts as King Boo doubled his. The Master of Illusions was an adversary with nothing to lose, the most dangerous adversary by far, and it only added to Luigi’s motivation to defeat him.

This was a tough battle, but Luigi knew that it would be won. As did his friends.

Another explosion sent King Boo reeling to the ground, where Luigi and Gooigi grabbed him by his tongue and slammed him overhead—harder, faster, Luigi grunting deeply with each slam. With the sweat dripping off of him, he seemed to come aglow in the starlight, giving him a sort of divine appearance. And he was also someone with nothing left to lose, allowing him to hold his own against the source of his worst nightmares.

King Boo tore himself free after one hefty slam and split himself back into three copies, and it all began again, the King and his two clones surrounding Luigi and Gooigi and bombarding them with their most vicious attacks. However, Luigi got them to back off with a Burst or two, shielding Gooigi against the fireballs and explosions, keeping his eyes locked on the real King and patiently waiting for him to mess up again.

“You think you’ve stopped me?” sneered King Boo. “You’ve stopped _nothing_.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Luigi said crisply, snagging a bomb out of the air and shooting it into the King’s mouth.

King Boo’s cheeks puffed up before the detonation knocked him back onto the rooftop. In one leap, Luigi had his opponent’s tongue back in the suction, with Gooigi quickly following suit.

_Do it, youngster!_

In tandem, Luigi and Gooigi showed no mercy toward King Boo, slamming the psychotic king onto the rooftop over and over—so hard that stars flashed before his eyes. The six captives whooped delightedly as they watched their tormentor get what was coming to him.

_[Bleep] him up, Luigi!_

_Show him who’s the sheriff in these parts!_

_You’re doing great, you’re doing great!_

Luigi drank up the cheers like Gatorade, continuing to slam the King against the rooftop despite the pain coursing through his body. His face was set, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gooigi with a similar facial expression.

_Keep going!_

And they did—until King Boo tore himself free, quivering, steam pouring out of his nonexistent ears. He summoned his two clones, and then their crowns glowed a bright white, summoning ghosts out of the blue.

“With me, Luigi!” shouted Gooigi, leveling his nozzle at the ghosts as they descended on the pair.

But Luigi shook his head. “It’s a diversion!” he said. “Don’t engage the ghosts! We need to focus on King Boo! Only King Boo!”

As the duo dodged the ghosts’ attacks, King Boo and his clones moved in, attacking more ferociously than ever. They clobbered with their tongues and strafed with fireballs and bombs—but most of all, they sliced away with their swords. Multiple times, Luigi was nearly blinded from their slashes. He took hits to his sides, abdomen—and even nasty cuts across his chest—and he still got back up and kept on fighting. He was bleeding all over the roof, but he _kept on fighting_.

“D—n you,” growled King Boo as he and his clones sent out a wave of electricity. The attack was severe enough to splatter Gooigi and send Luigi sprawling. “D—n you to Hell, you green f—er. You just don’t know when to quit!”

Drawing in one deep breath, and then another, Luigi rose to his feet. He adjusted his cap, shifted his grip on his vacuum’s nozzle and swung it toward King Boo.

“I can do this all day,” he spat.

With a scream of apoplectic fury, King Boo dove for Luigi, joined by his clones. Luigi calmly released Gooigi from his Plexiglass tank, and the heated battle resumed. Now, the odds swung further in the two ghost hunters’ favor, the two of them continuing to use the King’s projectiles against them while avoiding the ghosts spawned by that magical crown. And after they managed to down the evil King, they grabbed him by the tongue and lashed him against the rooftop, Luigi silently dedicating the slams to the still-imperiled sextet looking to him for hope.

_Do it for them—do it for them—do it for them_ , his mind chanted as the pain receptors in his body screamed at him.

“As long as one man stands against you,” Luigi told his nemesis, “you’ll never win!”

“Bold words for someone about to be trapped in a large portrait,” King Boo shot back, raising his sword aloft.

The two clones re-spawned, and both parties gave it everything they had left. But there was nothing King Boo could do. When he downed Luigi with tongue strikes, he rebounded. When he burned him with fireballs, he rebounded. When he shocked him with electricity, he rebounded. When he knocked him sprawling with giant spiked balls and dark magic, he rebounded. And when he cut into him with his rapier, he rebounded.

Luigi rebounded from everything, the six voices whispering in his ear, his four-word mantra on his lips, Gooigi and Polterpup by his side.

_I can do this. I_ will _do this. One way or another. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes!_

Even after King Boo inflicted some wounds to his arms and shoulders, Luigi’s grip on the Poltergust G-00 never wavered.

A bomb was in the suction. Luigi steadied his hands, steadied his breathing, and aimed at King Boo’s mouth. Gooigi stood next to him, also holding a bomb in his vacuum.

“Now!” shouted Luigi, the two of them simultaneously letting their bombs fly.

King Boo wound up swallowing both bombs, which detonated and sent him crashing onto the floor. Eyes blazing, Luigi marched up to him, yanking the King’s tongue none-too-gently into the Poltergust as Gooigi did the same.

“You made my friends _suffer_ ,” he said. “Now, it’s _your_ turn to suffer.”

On those words, Luigi made good on his earlier promise and slammed the f—ing Hell out of the tyrannical Boo as Gooigi assisted. Meanwhile, Polterpup raced around in happy puppy circles, elated that his master was winning. And Morty and his crew were awestruck as they recorded the action.

“C’mon, Luigi,” Morty said softly. “C’mon.”

And with one last, resounding slam, Luigi lifted King Boo into the air and began to suck him up for the third and hopefully final time.

King Boo’s rotund body snapped forward, sending Gooigi stumbling back. As the gooey humanoid recovered, he saw the rapier glinting menacingly in the King’s hand.

“Luigi!” he shouted.

But his warning came too late.

In the throes of his defeat, King Boo savagely drove his sword into Luigi’s stomach, burying it up to the hilt.

The six captives screamed out in horror.

_God in Heaven! Luigi!_

_Bro!_

_Oh, sweet Lord!_

_D—n you, King Boo!_

_God help us!_

_Luigi, no!_

Gooigi ran forward, Poltergust raised. “B—d!” he bellowed at King Boo.

King Boo’s violet eyes gleamed with sadistic joy as he twisted the blade once—twice—three times—until Luigi’s legs threatened to buckle. But they didn’t. Even impaled on the rapier, the man in green was still gonna claim victory.

Grabbing onto the hilt of the sword, and by extension, King Boo’s appendage, Luigi wedged it in even further, determined not to let King Boo escape the suction. To say that the Master of Illusions was freaked out was a gross understatement.

“You don’t get it, do you?” asked King Boo, lisping slightly due to the fact that his tongue was in Luigi’s vacuum. “You’ll _never_ best me. I’ll be with you everywhere you go. How many times do I have to trap your loved ones in a painting before you accept that?!”

A brief shudder passed through Luigi, and he averted King Boo’s gaze. But then he turned back around, gazing at the King with zero fear.

“You will _never_ imprison anyone in a painting again,” he vowed.

“There is _no_ vault that can hold me,” snarled King Boo. “And whenever you go to sleep, I’ll be waiting for you in your dreams to scream you awake. Face it, Luigi—your fears make you _weak_.”

“No,” Luigi said evenly. “You’re wrong, King Boo. My fears—make me—stronger.”

King Boo ripped the sword out of Luigi, sending a shock of pain through him. But the man in green kept his level, determined gaze on King Boo as he yanked hard on that long, purple tongue, forcing the King further inside.

“It’s over, King Boo,” spat Luigi. “You’re _done_!”

And with that scathing parting remark, the King of all Boos, Lord of all Ghost Houses and Master of Illusions was finally sent into the sturdy confines of the Poltergust G-00.

Only the jewel from his crown was left behind.

**…**

Luigi stood there on the rooftop, swaying to and fro, his vision going in and out of focus. He was only partially aware of the painting reverting to its normal size, of the ground beginning to shake under his feet. He heard voices urgently shouting and felt someone swoop him into the air, hastening him off the roof. Polterpup sailed off the ledge and into his arms, and he buried his face into his pet’s fur as he was whisked off to God-knows-where.

Then, he was placed onto something soft and grassy. Weakly, he turned his head, watching the Last Resort implode on itself.

“Luigi,” someone said. “Luigi, can you hear me?”

He swung his head back around. “Morty?”

“Hey,” Morty said gently. “Look what I found.”

He held up the ensemble portrait containing his friends, and Luigi laughed.

“I did it,” he whispered. “I did it. You’re safe now…”

Summoning all of his strength, he stood up, raised his flashlight and trained the DLD on the painting. One by one, his friends floated out, landing softly on the ground.

And then the flashlight slipped from Luigi’s fingers and landed in the grass.

At long last, his legs gave out.

Gadd, Gooigi, Mario, Peach and the Toads raced forward, catching Luigi as he collapsed.

“Nice and easy on the way down,” Gadd instructed. “Slow. Gently.”

They lay Luigi on his back, his head in Mario’s lap, staring in horror at the gruesome injuries their rescuer had sustained.

“Luigi…” breathed Thad.

“I beat him,” Luigi said softly. “He’ll never come near you again.”

A myriad of ghosts—Goobs, Hammers, Oozers and Slinkers alike—swarmed onto the scene as the gem from King Boo’s crown faded into oblivion.

Polterpup leaped protectively in front of his wounded master, barking and growling at the ghosts. Peach brandished her frying pan. Gadd and the Toads put up their dukes. Mario generated a fireball in one hand.

But the ghosts didn’t attack. They just—floated there, staring in shock at the downed man in green.

A Goob chattered something.

“Wait!” Gooigi exclaimed. “I think they wanna help!”

“How?” asked Gadd.

“They want to—tend to him,” said Gooigi.

The six rescuees exchanged a look before dropping their guards, allowing the ghosts to crowd around Luigi. Polterpup, meanwhile, paced back and forth, frantically barking.

Luigi reached out a shaky hand to him. “Puppy—it’s okay,” he said.

Whimpering, Polterpup scampered over to Luigi, nuzzling the top of his head against his master’s palm.

“Shh, puppy—I’m here,” said Luigi.

“Luigi, my boy—just sit tight,” said Gadd. “We’re gonna get you to a hospital. Someone—call for an ambulance!”

“It’s no use…” Luigi said softly. “There isn’t any…”

He was cut off when his phone buzzed, and he fished it out, seeing the numerous missed calls and texts he’d received. His service had been restored.

“King Boo—must’ve blocked the reception,” mused Gadd.

“No doubt,” Peach said briskly, grabbing up her own phone and dialing 9-1-1.

Meanwhile, Gadd fished a remote control out of his pocket and pressed a button on it. “I guess it’s safe now,” he said.

Within minutes, they were all joined by the ghosts Luigi had previously captured, along with the first fifteen boss ghosts. Their attention was promptly riveted on the bloodied ghost hunter on the floor.

“Brea—get towels!” Steward commanded.

“I’m on it!” Chambrea replied, diving into the rubble and emerging with armfuls of white towels and a first-aid kit.

Wolfgeist swore in German. “Did _we_ do that?” he asked.

“No,” said Gadd. “It was King Boo.”

“The one who brainwashed us and gave us those d—n elevator buttons?!” Johnny asked incredulously.

“That’s the one,” said Gadd.

“Guys,” said Peach. “The paramedics are on their way.”

“We don’t have time to wait for them,” said Brea, kneeling beside Luigi with Steward and Kruller.

Mario, Gadd, Gooigi, Thad, Brad, Chad and Peach helped the ghosts press the towels and cloths against Luigi’s devastating wounds, attempting to staunch the blood flow. Dr. Potter flew over, medical supplies in hand.

“Let me see if I can stitch him up,” he said.

“You’re a botanist!” Gadd exclaimed.

“I can suture somebody,” said Dr. Potter. “You _have_ to let me try, or he’ll bleed out before the ambulance gets here!”

Gadd huffed. “Fine,” he said, letting the ghostly botanist pass.

And as soon as Dr. Potter saw Luigi’s wounds, his medical knowledge presented the truth before him. The man in green wasn’t gonna make it. However, he wouldn’t let Death win so easily.

“Oh, man,” breathed Dr. Potter. “Luigi, I’m so sorry. I tried to make you plant food, but I’m gonna make it up to you, okay? Let me just…” He gathered his medical supplies and set to work.

As an experienced man of science, Professor Elvin Gadd also knew that his mentee was a goner, but he’d be d—ned if he gave Luigi up to Death without a fight. “Just hang on, youngster,” he whispered as he assisted Dr. Potter. “Hang on…”

Peach and her Toad retainers joined Mario in kneeling around Luigi.

“Luigi,” said Thad. “Hey—Luigi?”

The green-clad ghost-hunter gazed at Thad through hazy eyesight.

“C—can you hear us?” choked Thad. “We’re right here, Luigi. We’re right here. The ambulance is coming, okay? The ambulance is coming.”

“The nightmare’s over,” Brad said through his tears. “Luigi—the nightmare’s over. You won. Luigi, you—you _won_. You won, you did it, Luigi, you did it. You saved us all.”

“I—did it…” Luigi repeated as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Blood spilled from his mouth, and he was in all-over pain. But he’d stopped King Boo, and _that_ was all that mattered.

“Stay with us,” pleaded Chad. “Stay with us, Luigi. Stay with us—stay with us. Please, stay with us.”

“It—it…” Luigi coughed. “It’s okay, you guys. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re all safe. Safe…”

“Oh, God—oh, God—no, no, no!” wailed Brad as Luigi’s eyelids started to flutter. “You’re not gonna die on us, you hear me?!”

Gooigi covered his mouth with both hands and began to sob. “Bro…” he said brokenly.

Wearily, Gadd turned to look at Dr. Potter before sadly shaking his head.

“We’ve done all we could,” he said.

With heavy hearts, Gadd and Dr. Potter stopped working on Luigi, the latter flying away to grieve in private.

Peach then turned to the rest of the ghosts. “Leave us,” she softly commanded.

Sorrowfully, the ghosts obeyed.

The sextet sat in a circle around Luigi as he gazed up at them, his vision slowly failing.

Polterpup gave a pained whine as he clambered onto Luigi and curled up on his chest, nuzzling his chin. Using his last ounces of strength, Luigi softly stroked the ghost doggie’s fur.

“Puppy,” he uttered. “Polterpup—I wouldn’t have made it—without you…”

Polterpup whimpered again, and the three Toad retainers dissolved into tears.

Luigi glanced back up at the six people crowded around him. “I love you guys,” he said. “I love you so much. Always have, always will.”

“Ditto,” Gadd tearfully whispered.

“Luigi,” Peach softly spoke up. “Luigi, look at me. Look at us.”

Luigi obliged.

“We’re gonna be okay,” said Peach, trying her d—ndest to be strong for five of her constituents. “You hear me, Luigi? We’re gonna be okay.”

“Sis…” croaked Luigi.

“Shh—shh. It’s okay,” said Peach, leaning forward and kissing him on the nose. “You can rest now.”

“She’s right,” said Gadd. “The threat against us has ended. You did what you promised yourself you’d do. You saved our lives, and we’re eternally grateful.”

_Yes. They’re safe. My work is done. I can—finally—rest._

_But not yet._

Luigi’s eyes flickered over to Mario, the reason why he’d first taken up the Poltergust 18 years ago. No matter what, it would always come back to his big bro and the vow he’d made.

Mario beamed proudly at Luigi, unshed tears pooling in his eyes. The man in red gently tucked his sibling’s hair behind his ears and then kissed him on the forehead, giving him as much love and comfort as he could.

Luigi favored him with a big smile. “Night-night,” he said.

Mario smiled back. “Night-night,” he replied.

Having lost the strength to speak, Luigi gave each of his friends one final, loving look, one hand holding Mario’s and the other holding Gadd’s. The pain had long gone, replaced by pure peace.

The last thing Luigi ever saw was the image of his near and dear ones, safe and sound.

The last thing he ever heard—was his big bro’s voice, bidding him good night.

**…**

Two weeks later, everyone in the MK arrived to say goodbye to Luigi. Every last Toad lined up to talk about how the man in green had changed their lives for the better, expressing regret over not giving him the recognition he deserved. They talked about his selflessness, his pure heart, his sense of fun, optimism and joy. Gadd talked about the ups and downs of taking him under his wing. Daisy talked about how his love helped her recover from nearly being an alien overlord’s queen. Peach talked about his reliability when the chips were down. And when it was Mario’s turn, he talked about his lil’ bro’s vow—the vow he’d kept to his final breath.

After the eulogies, Luigi was laid to rest in the Roman Catholic tradition. All of his sins were absolved, and his body was committed to the Earth. The mourners took off their hats, lowered their heads and began to pray.

Ashes to ashes—dust to dust.

After the service, Peach took Mario, Gadd, Gooigi, Thad, Brad, Chad and Daisy to her castle, where Morty waited for them.

“He made this for you,” Morty sadly explained, holding up a reel of film. “It was before he went to confront Hellen. I think—he knew…”

His voice cracked, but he composed himself. “Anyway, I hope this short film ends this bleak day on a promising note.”

Morty placed the reel onto his camera, pulled down a projection screen and started the film.

The first frames showed a backdrop of a beautiful, starry sky. Then, Luigi walked into the shot and sat in a chair, looking apprehensive, knowing that he was at the final stretch and that there was a possibility that he wouldn’t make it out alive. The man in green stared intently at the camera for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and beginning to speak.

“Hello, there,” he said. “It’s-a me, Luigi. I’m speaking to you from the Paranormal Productions studio, located on the eighth floor of the Last Resort, on Thursday, October 31, 2019. This film is only to be shown in the event of my demise at the hands of King Boo. I’d like to start off by saying that ever since I could walk or talk, I’ve picked up the quaint little habit of looking out for those I love and putting them before myself. It started off small—slipping into my bro’s room and comforting him after a nightmare, offering him my nightlight, even though I’d be exposed to the unseen horrors we all feared when we were kids, and hugging and talking to him whenever he needed it. As I grew older and stronger, those small acts built into bigger acts—standing up to bullies, getting myself into detention to defend my bro’s honor. And in adulthood, these bigger acts took a fantastical turn—helping my bro fight an overgrown turtle/dragon hybrid to restore peace to a faraway land. Which brings us to this point—exploring a haunted hotel with a gooey clone and a ghostly puppy to save the people I’ve come to regard as a second family from a sadist and his girlfriend, who’d stop at nothing to see me dead—or worse.”

Luigi went on to individually address the most important people in his life. He started with Elvin Gadd, the eccentric professor, who’d saved him, took him in, armed him and helped him discover his inner bravery and confidence. He talked about how Gadd had become a weird mentor to him, and while his priorities were skewed, his heart was generally in the right place. Next, he moved on to the Toad retainers, Thad, Brad and Chad. While the trio, along with the rest of the Toads, routinely forgot his name, they provided good company, and he was happy to defend them and help improve their quality of life. Up next was Mario—and here was where Luigi started to tear up, his audience tearing up along with him. Luigi went on and on and on about what a good brother Mario was, despite the occasional fights and the fame inequality, liberally switching between English and Italian during the speech. He spoke about the times Mario defended _him_ , comforted _him_ and encouraged him to confront his fears and be his own person. His voice broke when he talked about the Star Gate fiasco, where Mario was actively encouraged to abandon Luigi, but he didn’t. Eventually, he pulled himself together as he thanked Mario for being the best big brother ever.

Luigi then addressed Peach, calling her his “sis in all but blood”. He blushed as he opined how cute she and Mario were together. He praised her steady hand in guiding her kingdom through times calm and tumultuous. He extolled her as “the strongest Princess I’ve ever known”. Of course, he added a touch of humor by saying that he enjoyed going to her parties and sampling her delicious cakes. And last but not least, he addressed Daisy, calling her the love of his life and discoursing on how glad he was that they’d fallen in love.

When the man in green was done individually addressing everyone, he addressed them as a whole.

“A person such as me—a shy, timid yet selfless person—can wind up the target of such vicious and cruel people like King Boo. I’ve accepted that. Knowing that this _monster_ could brutally cut me down at any moment, I feel it’s important that you should get a glimpse into my thoughts. I—I—I wish I had time to explain why I act and react the way I do. But my actions and reactions were performed with one goal in mind—defending the defenseless and protecting the people I held dear.

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn’t always end up that way. I hope that if you play this film, it’s in celebration. I hope my bro, my sis, my Flower Princess and all my other friends go on to live fulfilling lives, that they can return to a sense of normalcy, if that’s possible. The Mushroom Kingdom— _Dio_ , what a world. What a universe. If someone had told me back in 1983 that such a vibrant place existed inside of a green sewer pipe, let alone to _this_ extent—I mean, I would’ve indulged them, but c’mon. Darkness will constantly sweep over the fantasyland, and light will inevitably drive it away. And for better or worse, that’s the reality my sis and her constituents will have to continue to thrive in.

“So—I thought I’d better put this on film for you guys, in case King Boo or his girlfriend or both of them dispatch me in the most violent manner imaginable. This final confrontation with those two—it doesn’t have a high chance of survivability. I’m just a timid guy with a vacuum cleaner on his back, and my only source of backup is a green, gooey clone and an adorable doggie. Then again—it’s part of being a flawed yet dependable hero. Part of the journey is the end. And I have a feeling that despite my doubts, everything is gonna work out exactly the way it’s supposed to in the end.”

Luigi rose from his chair and walked over to the camera, leaning down and smiling that beautiful smile, a smile that would be eternally immortalized on film.

“I love you 3000,” he said softly, and then the film ended.

By that point, however, everyone was crying their eyes out.

“We love you, too, Luigi,” sniffled Mario, “and we’ll never forget you.”

Gadd rubbed Gooigi’s back comfortingly as the gooey humanoid sobbed, his gooey tears absorbing back into his body. Mario turned and opened his arms, and his gooey bro stood up and moved into them.

“Mario—my Bro,” wept Gooigi.

“I’m here, Bro,” said Mario. “I’m here.”

Gadd and Peach joined in the embrace, followed by the Toad retainers and Daisy, so it became a big group hug.

Ten or so minutes elapsed before everyone calmed down.

“He wouldn’t have wanted this,” said Mario, wiping his tears. “I think Luigi would’ve wanted us to go out and celebrate his wonderful life, rather than sit around moping over his death.”

“You’re right,” said Gadd. “He _did_ say that he wanted us to play that film as a celebration.”

Murmurs of assent.

“All right,” said Peach. “We’ll change clothes, and then we’ll all go out to dinner. My treat. What do you say?”

“Peachy—that sounds like a great idea!” Mario said brightly.

Peach smiled. “Very well. I’ll meet you guys outside in an hour.”

She rose from her seat and headed upstairs to change clothes.

“Well—I _am_ hungry,” said Mario. Then, he turned to Gooigi. “Out of curiosity, what are you in the mood for tonight?”

Gooigi grinned like a fool. “Spaghetti,” he replied. “Lots of it.”

“Then—there’s a restaurant not far from here that serves the best spaghetti and the best pizza, and you don’t have to worry about anchovies on the pizza. I’ll talk Peachy into hosting dinner there, and we’ll have all of the spaghetti and pizza we want, just to keep that smile on your face.”

Gooigi giggled. “Mario—you’re the World’s Best Brother!” he cried.

Mario laughed. Perhaps Luigi’s spirit lived on in this ectoplasm-and-coffee-based fellow.

“All right—I’ll see you in an hour,” said Mario.

“Yeah—see ya,” said Gooigi as the group separated to change into more comfortable attire.

One hour later, they all met up outside the castle, and off they went to the restaurant Mario was talking about earlier—to honor Luigi’s wishes and celebrate his life, rather than mourn his death.

A brown-haired, mustachioed ghost, clad in green and blue, watched them go, a huge smile on his face.

“I’ll be here, watching over you,” the ghost promised. “Forever and for always…”

**End**


	43. Titanium (GOOD ENDING Pt. )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains blood and violence.

Luigi tasted his own blood. It trickled and dribbled into his mouth—warm, thick, coppery and sweet. He paid it no mind, however, gripping the nozzle of his trusty Poltergust G-00 tighter than ever. The battle between him and King Boo was arduous and left him not only bleeding but also in excruciating pain. However, the pain wasn’t slowing him down in the slightest—he pushed it further and further into the back of his mind. There was only one thing he was thinking about, and one thing only—eliminating the threat against those he held dear. 

In his mind, he pictured the faces of his imperiled loved ones, watching his every move with hope in their eyes. He heard their voices, encouraging him, exhorting him to fight and keep fighting. There was Peach’s soft and calming dulcet, Mario’s signature falsetto, Gadd’s authoritative tone and Thad, Brad and Chad’s high-pitched voices. Their optimism and strength encircled him and became _his_ strength, mixing with the quiet inner strength currently surging through ever fiber in his body. He was gonna take King Boo down and end his reign of terror, or die trying.

Above him, King Boo and his two clones continued to attack with electricity, fire, their tongues, their bodies, their spiked balls, their bombs and their swords. With each passing minute, their attacks grew more savage and vicious as the King’s rage and frustration grew. But as a result of this increased frustration and rage, he and his clones lost their heads and began making mistakes, mistakes which Luigi wasted no time capitalizing on. It wasn’t long before King Boo found himself back on the floor, dazed, as Luigi and Gooigi stepped toward him and grabbed his tongue with their vacuums.

Shouting out a wordless battle cry, Luigi heaved his nemesis overhead and slammed him into the hotel’s roof for the umpteenth time, repeating that action again and again as the voices of his brother, his “sister”, his mentor and the three Toads egged him on.

_Oh, yeah! You go, Bro!_

_Way to sock it to him!_

_That’s the finest ghost tussling I’ve ever seen, youngster!_

_You’re doing it! You’re doing it!_

_Yippee! You’re the best!_

_Yeah! You’re the man, Luigi!_

“Keep going, Gooigi!” Luigi called out to his doppelganger as they slammed the ever-loving Hell out of King Boo. “Keep going! We’ve almost got him!”

But King Boo broke free and glared at the duo. “Not yet,” he hissed as his two clones respawned.

The three crowns glowed an ominous white before summoning waves of ghosts, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Your situation is hopeless!” gloated the King. “Surrender now!”

“Over my dead body,” Luigi shot back.

King Boo responded with a demented grin. “Your proposal is acceptable,” he said, he and his three clones making a dive for Luigi.

“I can handle the ghosts,” said Gooigi. “You just worry about King Boo!”

“Forget about the ghosts!” shouted Luigi. “It’s a diversion! If we don’t capture King Boo fast enough, then we’ll all be in a portrait frame!”

Gooigi stared at the giant portrait, still descending on them.

“We’ll just have to evade the ghosts as best we can, and then wait for King Boo to throw more of those bombs,” said Luigi.

“All right,” said Gooigi. “Let’s make it happen!”

Now, King Boo and his clones outright ignored Gooigi, stopping at nothing to reduce Luigi to a bloody mess on the ground. But that wasn’t about to happen anytime soon. The man in green took many a stunning blow and got right back up. Even after sustaining several horrific injuries to his abdomen, sides, shoulders and chest, Luigi still stood. Even after getting slashed all over his limbs, he didn’t fall. He wouldn’t give in. Wouldn’t surrender. Wouldn’t bow.

Luigi and Gooigi turned the tide once again by firing more bombs into King Boo’s mouth and knocking him back down. Then, they slammed him into the roof again and again and again—harder, faster, Luigi grunting with effort as he threw every muscle in his body into each slam. Sweat dripped off of him, cleansing the blood from his face and making him come aglow in the starlight, giving him a sort of divine appearance. And over the sounds of the slams, his grunts and his labored breathing, Luigi heard his friends’ voices, still tossing encouragement his way, telling him that they knew he could beat the Master of Illusions. There was such love and fortitude and confidence and—and _relief_ in their voices, and in them, Luigi could feel fresh energy encircling him like a firebrand. It was like the sextet was sending him electric signals to keep him going.

And as King Boo tore himself free and went back on the attack with his two clones, Luigi silently repeated those four words to himself.

_Do it for them._

King Boo lashed out with his tongue, landing a direct hit on Luigi’s solar plexus.

_Do it for them._

Luigi took another blow to the solar plexus.

_Do it for them._

Then one to his abdomen.

_Do it for them._

Then one to his left shoulder.

_Do it for them._

Then one to his right shoulder.

_Do it for them._

Then one to his chest.

_Do it for them._

The King spawned more ghosts, one of them taking Luigi by surprise and landing a punch to his face. He used Burst to knock them away, but he otherwise didn’t engage the ghost. All of his energy was focused on King Boo.

_Do it for them._

_Do it for them._

The King and his clones surrounded Luigi and Gooigi, striking out with their tongues and their rapiers. One clone nearly bowled the former over with a barrage of fireballs, and another sent bolts of electricity sizzling into him. The real deal fired off orbs of dark magic and tried to make a pincushion out of the man in green. But Luigi fluidly evaded all of the attacks or took the attacks he couldn’t evade without so much as a whimper, waiting for King Boo to throw those bombs so he and Gooigi could throw them back.

_Do it for them. Do it for them. Do it for them. **Do it for them. Do it for them. Do it for them.**_

**_Do—_ **

**_It—_ **

**_For—_ **

**_Them._ **

One of the King Boo clones wrapped his tongue around Luigi’s ankle, hoisting him aloft, and then bashed him against the rooftop repeatedly.

King Boo laughed sadistically. “Yeah! How does _that_ feel?” he yelled.

He and the other clone moved in, using Luigi as a punching bag and heaping more pain and abuse on him.

“Son of a…” growled Gooigi as he and Polterpup raced to Luigi’s aid.

“I got it!” shouted Luigi, using Burst to free himself.

Both Polterpup and Gooigi snagged him out of thin air before he could land on his face, or worse, fall off the roof.

Cackling madly, King Boo and his clones showered the trio with bombs. But Luigi and Gooigi caught several of them in their vacuums, while Polterpup managed to catch one in his jaws. On Luigi’s command, they sent the projectiles arcing back at King Boo, sending him reeling, and then Gooigi and Luigi wasted no time bashing _him_ all over the roof.

“Yeah! How does _that_ feel?!” shouted Luigi, throwing the King’s words back at him.

_I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose—fire away, fire away—_

Luigi’s face was set and hard, and as Gooigi worked beside him, he bore a similar facial expression. Each slam was timed with his breaths, and each slam was for all of the times King Boo made his life a living Hell. All of his muscles were pushing themselves past threshold, but he was past caring. He concentrated hard, slamming King Boo into the ground as many times as he could.

_Ricochet, you take your aim—fire away, fire away—_

And then King Boo escaped, glaring darkly at Luigi as he brought his rapier to bear. Rejoined by his clones, they slashed and stabbed at the man in green, failing to down him no matter how many times their blades ripped into him. Tongues pummeled him, the shockwaves from their stomp attacks buffeted him, fireballs barreled into him, electricity seared into him and dark magic attacks slammed into him. Nothing worked. Luigi willed himself back up, or Polterpup willed him back up with some encouraging licks to his face, or the voices of his six friends willed him back up. Luigi was in _so much pain_ , spattered with bruises and bleeding all over the roof, and his vision was going in and out of focus, but he could still see his trapped loved ones clearer than day. He had to keep going. He _had_ to!

_Shoot me down, but I won’t fall! I am titanium!_

In unison, King Boo and his clones generated a giant orb of dark magic and sent it homing in on Luigi. He tried to knock it off course with Burst, but it was no use. It smashed into him full-force, knocking him flat onto his back. He pushed himself back to his feet, only for the three Boos to knock him sprawling again.

“Luigi!” shouted Gooigi, he and Polterpup racing forward to defend the downed man.

Unfortunately, the ghosts King Boo had summoned blocked their path, forcing them to fight their way through.

Again, Luigi struggled back up, King Boo allowing him to get to one knee before slashing with his rapier, landing gashes across his belly and backside. One clone’s tongue swung across the roof and collided with him, sending him back to the floor.

_Luigi—don’t give up now—please—_

King Boo leered at the man in green. “Stay down,” he snarled. “Final warning.”

But Luigi wouldn’t—by God, he _wouldn’t_! He saw a nine-year-old Mario being hassled by bullies. He saw Peach at the mercy of a reptile who wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. He saw the Toads, fleeing from invading airships. And he saw the large portrait frame, bearing down on him.

As Gooigi forced his way past the attacking ghosts, Luigi planted his palms on the rooftop and hoisted his body off the ground and into a seated position. As King Boo and his clones incredulously looked on, Luigi got to his knees, and then to his feet, fighting back the pain at every turn. Steadily, he straightened, looking King Boo in the eye—and then he reached over and tightened his Poltergust’s straps over his badly injured shoulders.

“I can do this all day,” he said defiantly, brandishing the Poltergust once more.

“Very well,” spat King Boo.

He and his clones chucked handfuls of bombs at Luigi, who expertly caught one of them in his vacuum and sent it back to its thrower. Marching toward the downed King, Luigi grabbed his tongue in the suction, Gooigi joining him after managing to escape from the ghosts. Together, they heaved their opponent forward and down, and the furious slamming began anew.

_Shoot me down, but I won’t fall. I am titanium!_

**…**

Gadd, Thad, Brad, Chad and Mario remained in a circle with Peach, staring at her in shock. The Mushroom Princess still wore a serene expression on her face, her body glowing a bright pink. Then, the outline of a large heart encircled her, an outline which grew more and more opaque as the seconds passed.

_Peachy—what are you doing now?_

_I’m getting Luigi some help._

_Wha…?_

_Work with me, you guys! I’m gonna try to slow that portrait frame’s descent, but I can’t do it alone! We all need to pitch in!_

Exchanging nods, the other five focused along with Peach, sending out as much love and encouragement toward Luigi as humanly possible. As they did so, large hearts began encircling them, as well, with even more large hearts floating up around them. Slowly, the sextet began to spin around as if they were on an amusement park ride, joined by the hearts.

And with those other hearts came voices, voices that only Mario recognized—

**…**

“Who are you? And what are you doing in my dream?”

Peach gave the woman a disarming smile. “Don’t be alarmed. I mean you no harm,” she said. “Tell me your name.”

“Evelyn. I’m Evelyn. And you?”

“I’m Peach, Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.”

“ _The_ Peach? Holy [bleep]! I _know_ I’m dreaming now! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“The fangirling will have to wait, Evelyn. I’ve come to seek help for a mutual friend.”

Evelyn frowned.

“You were in Luigi’s fourth grade class, yes?”

“We were classmates from second grade all the way to our senior year in high school. H—how do you know that?”

“That isn’t relevant right now. Luigi is currently fighting to save me—and Mario.”

“Oh, my God—Mario’s in trouble? What’s going on?”

“King Boo—he has me, my retainers, Mario and an elderly professor trapped in a large portrait, which he’s threatening to bring down on the hotel we were staying at. Luigi’s battling him right now, but he’s taken a lot of hits from him.”

“Wow—oh, wow. I’ve absolutely heard of King Boo. Can I—can I help?”

Silently, Peach held out her hand, and Evelyn took it.

**…**

“Brandon…”

Brandon jumped, staring at the blonde woman in the pink gown. “Uh—have we met?” he asked.

“I know your childhood friend, Luigi,” Peach explained. “He and Mario have saved me over the past 34 years.”

Brandon quirked an eyebrow. “You’re the Toadstool Princess.”

“Call me Peach. And right now, Luigi is in trouble. He’s fighting King Boo to save me, Mario and others, and he needs help.”

“How—how can I help?”

“Take my hand,” said Peach.

And Brandon did.

**…**

“You must be Sarah.”

“I am. And you are…?”

“Princess Toadstool. Peach.”

“Huh. You’re—taller—in person. Wh—what’s this about?”

“Our mutual friend, Luigi.”

“Is he okay?”

“Far from it. His archnemesis trapped me, Mario and four others in a giant painting, and he’s risking his life to save us.”

“King Boo?”

“King Boo.”

“Is there any way I can help?”

“Yes, there is.”

And Peach held her hand out to Sarah.

**…**

“Whoa. You’re—Princess Peach, right?”

“Yes. And you’re Mitchell. And last I checked, you have a debt to pay.”

“Look, if you’re talking about—c’mon, I’m a different person now. I’m a yoga instructor, and I have a wife and kids.”

“Are you ready to prove that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean—that Luigi has put himself into harm’s way in order to defend his brother.”

“Hm. Typical.”

“King Boo has trapped him, along with me, three of my retainers, and a senior citizen, in a large portrait frame. And Luigi is fighting him to try and save us.”

“Is Luigi winning?”

“For the time being. That’s where _you_ come in.”

“With all due respect, Princess, I don’t really believe in ghosts anymore.”

“Do you wanna make things up to Luigi or not?”

“I do. Of course, I do!”

Peach smiled sweetly and took Mitchell’s hand. “Come on,” she said.

**…**

_Hey! Hello? Can you hear us?_

Mario’s eyes widened. “ _Dio_! What are you guys doing here?”

_Your girlfriend told us what’s happening. Is Luigi okay?_

“Uh—he’s hurt, but he’s still standing!”

_Sounds like vintage Luigi to me!_

“Who are those guys?” asked Thad.

Mario smiled. “Luigi and I went to school with them,” he explained.

“How did the Princess track them down?” asked Chad.

“You got me,” said Mario, “but I’m glad they’re here!”

Faces began materializing on the hearts drifting around them, faces that Mario hadn’t seen in a while. There was Colin, Myra, Brandon, Michael, Sybil, A.J., Barry, Francis, Evelyn, Sarah, Dennis and many, many more. They were the Mario Bros’ old classmates, and they knew the pair like the backs of their hands. Peach had even summoned Mitchell, the school bully! Of course, Mitchell had mellowed since then, but still.

Mario turned to Peach, still floating there with her eyes closed. _Is that everyone?_

 _What, you wanted_ more _?_

More familiar faces joined them, the faces of the Mario Bros’ college friends and their old teachers, from their fourth-grade teacher, Mrs. Dawes, to their elementary school principal, Principal Silverstein. Pep squads. School mascots and marching bands. Even Dr. Beckett was there. Peach was pulling out all of the stops now!

Now _we’re even._

Mario turned and pointed at King Boo. “You see him?” he asked. “That psycho scumbag has spent the last 18 years torturing my bro and torturing me—and now he’s got me, my Princess, three of her retainers and my bro’s mentor stuck in this portrait. Are you gonna stand for that?!”

“No!”

“Louder!”

“NO!”

“Louder!”

“ _NO_!”

“Okay!” shouted Mario. “Then let’s do this thing!”

He was met with a roar of assent.

And Peach smiled.

**…**

Back on the rooftop of the Last Resort, Luigi was sensing the finish line ahead and knew that he had to press on. Gooigi and Polterpup continued to help in any way they could. The former helped him slam King Boo around while the latter held the magically-spawned ghosts at bay, kept Luigi safe with well-timed affectionate tackles and kept him in the game with encouraging licks and doggie kisses. King Boo had managed to inflict several nasty leg injuries, but at this point, he was fighting a losing battle. His magic and his power were _nothing_ compared to a brother’s loyalty!

“As long as one man stands against you—you’ll never win!” Luigi told his nemesis.

Fully committed to his task, Luigi didn’t see a bright pink glow beginning to surround King Boo at first. When he did, he was slightly taken aback. Where was that glow coming from? And was it a good sign or a bad one?

He watched as large hearts lined themselves up along the portrait frame and began pushing against it. At the same time, gallons of energy began gushing through his body, images of past memories quickly flickering through his mind. He tightened his grip on the Poltergust, his eyes lighting up. There was only one explanation for this—Peach! She was using her wish power to help him!

“Look!” shouted Gooigi. “The portrait’s slowing down!”

And indeed, the large portrait frame was slowly but surely grinding to a halt. King Boo’s attacks weakened, and he appeared a little sluggish.

“God Almighty,” grunted the King. “My powers—draining! Getting—weaker! Losing—ability to—form complete sentences!”

_Oh, Luigi! I’ve brought company!_

_My old friends! How did you…?_

_I’ll explain later. Now go get him!_

With another strident battle cry, Luigi obliged.

More hearts started sailing out of the portrait frame, some of them slowing its descent further and others furiously attacking King Boo.

“Hey, you marshmallow!” snapped Brandon’s voice. “I’ve got a little something for you!”

“We ought to kick you f—ing [bleep]!” Myra’s voice added.

“You leave Luigi alone!” Sarah’s voice joined in. “You’re gonna pick on a guy trying to save his brother, his sister and his friends?!”

“Oh, yeah! I’ve got something for you here!” Colin’s voice led the charge. “You mess with Luigi, and you kick a hornet’s nest—and we know exactly how to sting!”

“You mess with one of us, and you mess with all of us!” Evelyn’s voice hollered.

Hearts continued to bombard King Boo as he and Luigi continued to face off.

“Hey! Over here!” Gooigi called to his flesh-and-blood counterpart. “I found something that’ll _really_ help us!”

Luigi joined Gooigi, staring in awe at another one of those sockets rising from the ground. The second he approached it, an electrical current attached itself to the Poltergust, and he felt the entire vacuum rev up.

“Oh, yeah! Here we go!” exclaimed Luigi.

Hollering at the top of his lungs, Luigi let the Super Suction rip, sucking up all of the ghosts King Boo had spawned. Then, King Boo’s two clones fell victim to the suction. Licking his lips, Luigi turned the Super Suction on the King, but the Master of Illusions was clever, firing a bolt of dark magic at the socket. The attack destroyed the socket and flung Luigi back, but not before the man in green managed to rip the sword out of King Boo’s hand.

“Awesome!” cried Sybil’s voice.

“Wicked cool!” Barry joined in.

_Luigi—this is your moment now. I believe in you. We all believe in you. And no matter what may come between us, we’re all here for you, Bro. Always. We love you 3000._

Breathing in measured beats and drinking in Mario’s words, Luigi stood back up. “How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, King Boo?” he asked. “ _No one_ messes with my Bro!”

“I believe I did,” chortled King Boo. “Thrice, actually. And after I get rid of you, your clone and your stupid little mongrel, I’m going to keep messing with him—along with the rest of your nearest and dearest!”

Calm anger soared through Luigi’s veins as he leveled his vacuum at King Boo.

With another laugh, King Boo picked up a spiked ball and held it aloft. “I am—inevitable,” he hissed, letting the projectile fly.

Luigi and Gooigi caught the spiked ball in their vacuums and launched it into King Boo’s wide-open mouth, sending him spinning in the air and then crashing to the floor.

_Time to finish this, Luigi!_

As King Boo lay there, dazed, Luigi and Gooigi seized him by the tongue and repeatedly slammed and smashed him against the rooftop. The green-clad ghost hunter gave it everything he had left, dedicating each resounding slam to the people in his life he swore to keep safe. The people who King Boo would _never_ touch again as long as he was on this Earth.

_Keep going, Luigi. Keep going. Keep going. This is it. This. Is. It!_

Summoning all of his strength, Luigi slammed King Boo down so hard that he propelled himself a few inches off the ground. Gooigi lost his grip on King Boo’s tongue, but at that point, Luigi could wrangle the Master of Illusions himself.

Like a slingshot, King Boo snapped himself forward, snarling hatefully into Luigi’s face. The man in green flinched slightly, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his head away. But then—

Then—

He opened his eyes, turned back around to face his tormentor and matched the King’s death glare with a steely, searing and determined glare of his own.

“And I’m-a Luigi—number one,” he said in a low, even voice.

On those words, the King of all Boos, Lord of all Ghost Houses and Master of Illusions was sucked into the confines of the Poltergust G-00 with a gratifying _pop_. The vacuum’s nozzle shuddered, and then it expelled the King’s magical gem, which came to rest in the center of the rooftop.

It was over.

**…**

_Oh, my God. He did it! Yeah!_

_I knew he could. I knew he could._

_You see that? Now_ that’s _the way to do it!_ That’s _old school!_

_Old school like the old school._

Around them, the voices of the Mario Bros’ old friends and acquaintances cheered wildly.

Gradually, Peach brought herself back into the real world, opening her eyes and smiling at her companions.

“Peachy—that was amazing,” breathed Mario. “You used your wish power to slow the portrait’s descent, call up our old friends and give my bro extra energy. Way to go!”

Peach just beamed.

The hearts around them began to dissipate.

“I can’t thank you guys enough,” said Mario. “You came through for my brother when he needed you the most, even you, Mitchell. Respect.”

“When the Princess told us of Luigi’s predicament, we _knew_ we had to pitch in,” said A.J.’s voice.

“What about you guys?” asked Sarah’s voice. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“We’ll get by,” Peach said softly. “Thank you all for coming.”

“Our pleasure, of course,” said Myra’s voice.

“Good night, everybody!” Colin’s voice sang out. “Maybe we’ll meet up sometime!”

“I’d like that,” Mario replied.

“See ya,” said Evelyn’s voice.

“See ya!” chorused the other voices.

Mario, Gadd, the Toads and Peach waved goodbye as the hearts faded away.

**…**

A cross between a laugh and a sob escaped from Luigi’s lips as he approached King Boo’s gem. Gooigi walked beside him, an arm around his shoulders.

“Hey,” Gooigi said softly. “You did good.”

But Luigi wasn’t listening to him, his body in the throes of a major adrenaline high. He placed two shaking hands on the gem—and then he gasped as he watched the ensemble portrait shrink back to normal size. Casting the gem aside, Luigi ran forward, arms outstretched, and caught the portrait as it fell out of the sky.

“It’s okay,” he shakily told everyone inside the portrait. “Do you hear me? It’s okay. You’re safe now. Safe—with me.”

_We know, Luigi. We know._

Luigi pressed his forehead against the portrait—and then he felt the ground start to shake.

“What’s that?” he asked, wildly looking around.

He jumped at the sound of an explosion from far below. More cracks appeared on the rooftop, and he began stumbling about.

“What’s happening?!” he cried.

“Luigi—the building’s gonna collapse!” Gooigi frantically shouted. “We gotta…!”

He was interrupted by the rooftop crumbling and then giving way, sending them both plummeting earthward.

“J—s C—st!” Morty exclaimed, passing his camera to another crew member and diving after the pair.

He wound up smacking into Gooigi, who glared at him.

“I’ll be fine, you idiot!” he cried. “Save _him_!”

Morty cursed as he watched Luigi’s plummeting figure. “We’re not gonna make it,” he realized. “I’m sorry, buddy…”

As he fell, Luigi held the ensemble portrait close to his body, rotating himself so that he’d absorb most of the impact when he hit the ground. Tears were in his eyes as he stared at the image of his six friends.

_The brave, kindhearted and naïve ones live. The envious scaredy-cat dies. A fair trade._

He closed his eyes, made his peace with God and braced for impact.

_I love you all…_


	44. What I Believe (GOOD ENDING Pt. 2)

_I told you, didn’t I? I told you that you got this. Yeah, we’re currently in freefall right now, but you did it. You beat him. And anyone who dares to say otherwise will have to answer to us. I knew from the very beginning. I knew it was a_ piece of cake _. A_ piece of cake _, indeed._

**…**

_You are what I believe; I’d live and die for you_ …

He hung there, suspended in space, listening to the music playing. Frankly, he didn’t know they played music in Heaven. That was his initial thought, of course, that he was in Heaven. Gooigi had probably freed his friends and shielded them from the grisly sight of his shattered body on the floor. They’d mourn him for a while, and then they’d move on with their lives, but at least they were safe. Safe.

This thought process lasted until he heard his heartbeat thundering in his ears, heard his erratic breathing kicking from his lungs and felt the ensemble portrait against his body.

_Wait a minute…_

_I’m not dead._

_How in the Inferno am I not dead?!_

Luigi, who seconds ago had consigned himself to a swift, painless death, now had to grapple with the fact that he was going to live. Slowly, he opened his eyes and saw that he was mere meters from the ground, debris from the Last Resort scattered as far as the eye could see. Something was gently gripping him by the seat of his overalls, preventing him from splattering onto the pavement. Slowly, the man in green turned his head—and smiled.

Polterpup had snagged him out of thin air!

Morty floated downward to join him, Gooigi in his arms. The gooey humanoid was practically sobbing in relief.

“You’re all right!” Gooigi exclaimed. “Oh, thank God! Thank God!”

Slowly, Polterpup lowered his master to the floor and set him down as gently as he could. Almost instantly, Luigi rose to his knees and threw his arms around Polterpup, pressing his face into his fur.

“Good puppy,” he said. “Good little puppy!”

Polterpup woofed happily, assailing Luigi’s cheek with licks. The man in green turned off his music, sat back and gathered his paranormal pup into his lap before picking up the ensemble portrait and hugging it tightly.

“I’ll never let you go again,” he vowed. “ _That’s_ a promise.”

Gooigi ran over and sat next to Luigi, rubbing the small of his back comfortingly. “Hey,” he said. “It’s over. You did it.”

“No,” clarified Luigi. “ _We_ did it.”

Still in the midst of an adrenaline high, Luigi stood, leaned the ensemble painting against a chunk of debris and stood back, aiming his DLD.

“Okay,” he said, shining the multicolored beam on the portrait. “Here we go.”

**…**

_Looks like this is it, you guys! Let’s all form a single-file line and leave in an orderly fashion. Please, watch your step upon exiting._

**…**

Peach was the first to exit the painting, gliding out of the frame and landing softly on her feet.

“Good Lord,” she mused. “I am _not_ going through _that_ again.”

Next in line was Mario, performing his signature leap out of his artistic prison, followed by Thad, Brad and Chad, who landed comically on their faces.

“We’re okay,” said Chad, having landed on top of Thad and Brad. “We’re okay.”

Luigi just giggled at the sight.

The final person to exit the portrait was Professor Gadd, who clumsily tumbled out and landed on his belly.

“I’m all right,” he said reassuringly.

Holstering his flashlight, Luigi hurried over and helped his mentor to his feet.

Gadd’s eyes widened. “God Almighty! He _really_ did a number on you this time around!” he cried.

“It doesn’t matter,” said Luigi. “What matters is—he didn’t break me. And he never will.”

Smiling broadly, he opened his arms, and all of his friends moved into them.

Luigi hugged them tenderly. “He’ll never traumatize you again,” he said, his voice cracking. “I swear it.” A tear rolled down his cheek, and then another and another and another…

“Luigi,” breathed Mario. “Thank God I have a brother like you.”

“Thank God I took you under my wing,” sighed Gadd.

“You and Mario falling down that pipe and into my kingdom was the hand of Providence,” added Peach.

“Er—yeah, what they said,” said Thad.

The six of them gathered around Luigi in a titanic group hug, soothing him with the power of touch and congratulating him on a job well done. Luigi’s body shook with relieved sobs. The psychotic King had nearly brought the entire building down, but he’d stopped him. Armed with only a vacuum cleaner, a gooey clone, an adorable ghost puppy and his wits, he’d fought King Boo tooth and nail and had won for the third and hopefully final time. And just like after their first throwdown, all the man in green could do now was hold his brother and the rest of his loved ones close and release the emotions he’d bottled up inside of him all night.

When the septet separated, Luigi glanced at the gem from King Boo’s crown and lifted it from the wreckage. “What should we do with this?” he asked, his voice a little jerky from crying.

“I propose we put it somewhere safe,” said Gadd.

“And where might that be?” asked Luigi.

Gadd opened his mouth to respond, only for the containment unit housing all of the ghosts to start shuddering.

“Not good,” said the Professor.

A Goob forced themselves out of the unit, followed by the other ghosts, shooting up into the night sky and spinning around in a kaleidoscope of color.

Wearing an urgent expression, Luigi whirled toward his friends. “Find someplace to hide,” he commanded.

“But…” Mario started to say.

“Now, d—mit!”

Dozens upon dozens of ghosts then surged toward Luigi, enraged expressions on their faces. Shoving the gem behind him, the man in green brandished his Poltergust and faced the mob, readying himself to defend his loved ones to the bitter end—

And then the ghosts just—stopped.

Everything stopped.

“Well?” Luigi asked, confused. “Aren’t you all gonna attack me?!”

“Luigi!” shouted Gooigi. “The gem! It’s—gone!”

“What?” Luigi looked behind him, and sure enough, the gem had disappeared. It was like it was never there to begin with.

Around him, the Goobs, Hammers, Oozers and Slinkers rubbed their eyes and then glanced about, looking dazed. Then, their eyes fell upon Luigi. They seemed to realize that they’d been seconds away from attacking a grievously injured man.

“Well, I’ll be,” said Gadd as he observed the situation. “King Boo was using that gem to control the ghosts!”

“Sort of like the Dark Moon,” mused Luigi, “but in reverse.”

“Exactly,” said Gadd.

The ghosts’ eyes widened as they took in not only the pile of rubble that had been their home but also the wounds that Luigi had sustained. Frantically, they started chattering to each other, as if giving each other orders. In spite of all that had happened, Luigi’s heart went out to the ghosts. They hadn’t really known what they’d been doing this whole time.

Luigi turned back towards the containment unit as the first fifteen boss ghosts emerged.

“Thank the heavens above!” gasped King MacFrights. “We’re free!”

“It was horrible!” added Serpci. “Being told to do these unspeakable things, and we couldn’t say ‘no’!”

“What in God’s name happened here?” asked Clem.

“Yeah—is everyone okay?” asked Lindsey.

“Everyone’s fine,” Luigi replied. “Everyone’s…”

Luigi’s eyes swept across his surroundings, and once he was convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that the threat against his friends had been completely neutralized—only then did he allow his legs to give out.

The sextet and the ghosts surged forward as Luigi collapsed, catching him in their arms.

“Nice and easy on the way down,” Mario instructed. “Slow. Gently.”

They lowered Luigi to a seated position on the ground, his head in Mario’s lap.

“Luigi—Luigi—we are _so_ sorry,” Nikki practically blubbered. “Can you ever forgive us?”

“It wasn’t you,” Luigi said softly. “It was—King Boo…”

The pain set in as Luigi began coming down from his adrenaline high.

“He pulled out all the stops—but I beat him all the same…” Luigi went on.

Gloria had her hands pressed over her mouth as she took in the scene. “Oh, God…” she brokenly uttered.

Steward also wore a horrified expression as he surveyed the ruined hotel and the injured ghost hunter. Then, he pulled himself together and took charge of the situation.

“Brea, get towels!” he cried.

“I’m on it!” cried Chambrea, joining the ghosts in diving among the rubble for something to staunch the bleeding.

“Is anyone here a doctor?” asked Steward.

Dr. Potter raised his hand.

“You’re a botanist, for God’s sake!” hissed Gadd.

“I’ve seen how sutures are done,” argued Dr. Potter. “I’ll stitch him up as best I can, but…”

“Forget that!” Kruller broke in. “Somebody call a f—ing ambulance!”

“How can we do that?” asked Thad. “We have no reception!”

“Hold on a sec—we have reception now!” breathed Mario, pulling out his phone and seeing notifications of missed calls and text messages. “Was King Boo blocking our cellular service?”

“Maybe he was,” replied Peach.

Mario wasted no time dialing 9-1-1 and notifying the operator of the situation.

“Hello, my name is Mario ‘Jumpman’ Mario. I’m currently located outside the Last Resort Hotel—or what’s left of it. My younger brother is badly hurt, and he needs paramedics right away. I take it your average response time is between 10 and 15 minutes; I need you to do better than that. Thank you. Bye-bye.”

He hung up and turned to the others. “Okay—an ambulance is coming,” he said.

Brea and a few ghosts emerged with towels, cloths and a first-aid kit, and they set about dressing Luigi’s wounds to the best of their ability as Gadd and Dr. Potter assisted.

“What about…?” Luigi asked, gesturing toward the other ghosts who sadly regarded the remains of the Last Resort. “They lived there, didn’t they?”

Gadd smiled. “You don’t think I’m gonna leave them wandering the earth, am I?” he asked. “Not at all—we’ll build them a new hotel—a better one!”

“I’ll help you guys,” Mario volunteered. “I was a carpenter first, remember?”

“I’ll help, too,” Peach chimed in.

“Count us in,” the three Toads said in unison.

“We’re definitely pitching in, too,” said Steward as the other boss ghosts nodded in agreement.

The other ghosts’ faces lit up, and they chattered happily, also offering to help build this new hotel.

In the distance, red lights flashed, and an ambulance siren wailed.

“Thank God,” breathed Peach. “Here they are.”

The ambulance soon materialized, pulled into the front lot and came to a smooth stop. Several EMTs hopped out of the vehicle and drank in the sight before them.

“Whoa,” said one EMT. “What happened here?”

“King Boo, that’s what,” Mario replied as he greeted the EMTs and led them to his wounded little brother.

“Why, hello there, Luigi,” said another EMT as they approached the man in green. “How are you doing tonight?”

“Better, now that you’re here,” Luigi replied with a smile.

A third EMT stared at Luigi, goggle-eyed. “Holy [bleep],” he gasped. “How in the _Hell_ is he still alive? Scratch that, how is he even still _conscious_?” He turned to the other EMTs. “Get that stretcher over here, now!”

“It’s all right now, Luigi,” a fourth EMT said comfortingly. “We’re gonna take you to a hospital and get you fixed up.”

“Guys—I’m fine. Really,” protested Luigi. “I’ll see my own doctor, okay?”

“Please,” entreated Mario. “Just go with them.”

“Can you tell us what happened?” asked a fifth EMT.

“King Boo trapped my friends,” said Luigi, “and he would’ve gotten me, too, had it not been for a laundry chute on the fifth floor.”

“So—you got all of those bruises, burns and lacerations while fighting King Boo?” asked the fifth EMT.

“I did,” Luigi told her, “along with the ghosts he was controlling.”

“Are any of your friends injured?” asked a sixth EMT.

“We’re just bruised up,” Peach replied. “Luigi got the worst of it.”

“Princess, how did you and Mario come by all of those lipstick marks?” asked the fifth EMT.

“It’s—it’s a long story,” Peach responded.

But the EMTs understood instantly.

“Maybe you should come along, too,” said yet another EMT. “Undergo the necessary examinations.”

“Why bother? King Boo and his accomplice are ghosts,” scoffed Peach. “It’s not like you’ll find anything. Besides, Mario and I already saw justice done.” She indicated the Poltergust on Luigi’s back. “The creeps who did this are in there—and they’re not getting out.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” the third EMT said to Luigi as he slid the Poltergust off of him.

“I’ll take it,” said Gadd, holding out his arms. “Thank you.”

On the count of three, the EMTs lifted Luigi onto the gurney, buckled him into place and wheeled him toward the ambulance.

“I’ll ride with him,” said Mario.

“We’ll start construction first thing tomorrow morning,” said Gadd. “Luigi can join in after he fully recovers.”

“Where are you guys gonna sleep?” asked Mario.

Gadd smiled wryly. “I’ve brought more portable living quarters along, Mario,” he said.

“Okeydokey. I’ll catch up with you later,” said Mario, hurrying over to the gurney carrying Luigi.

He slipped his hand into his brother’s and gazed deeply into his eyes. “I’m right here,” he said. “You’re my Bro, and I’ll live and die for you.”

“I’ll live and die for you, too,” Luigi replied. “All of you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you…”

The first EMT slipped an oxygen mask over Luigi’s nose and mouth. “You just relax and stay quiet, okay?”

Mario glared at the EMT, but Luigi squeezed his hand, calming him.

They loaded Luigi into the ambulance, Mario climbing in after them.

“See ya!” Peach called after her two heroes.

“See ya!” Mario called back.

“Get well soon!” added Gadd. “We’ll be praying for you, youngster!”

“What he just said goes double for us,” said Chad.

Luigi snapped off a crisp salute just before the ambulance doors closed.

“Luigi…” Gooigi uttered softly, standing next to his creator.

“Hey,” said Gadd. “He’s gonna pull through. They’re gonna take good care of him, all right?”

Gooigi nodded, and Gadd drew the gooey humanoid into his arms.

Gadd, Gooigi, Peach, her retainers, and all of the ghosts solemnly watched the ambulance drive away, lights flashing and siren blaring.

“On second thought,” said Gadd once the ambulance disappeared, “let’s _not_ start construction tomorrow. Let’s just—take a day—or a few. Hey—have any of you ever tried pickled dandelions with barnacles in a diesel marinade? Or maybe—I don’t know—shawarma?”

And they all laughed heartily.

**…**

“Your brother is one lucky fellow, you know that?” the lead EMT said to Mario. “Given the state he’s in, he should’ve fallen unconscious by now, or…”

“I know,” said Mario, one hand in Luigi’s while the other stroked his brother’s hair.

“How is he still alive?” the third EMT asked again, this time in a softer tone. “I just don’t get it. He’s awake, alert, responding—and yet we’re looking at blood loss and possible fractures…” He gazed at Luigi in awe. “How are you still alive?”

“Adrenaline, perhaps?” postulated the second EMT.

The lead EMT looked from one Mario Bro to the other. “Maybe—it’s love,” he mused. “Love is a potent, emotion, after all.”

“You’re God—m right,” said Mario.

“I think he’s gonna be okay,” said the lead EMT. “We’re gonna take him into the emergency room, get him patched up and run a few tests, all right?”

“All right,” Mario softly agreed.

“We might have to keep him for at least a week, however. His wounds look quite severe.”

“Do what you have to,” Mario said in resignation.

Leaning down, the man in red kissed Luigi on the forehead.

“ _Ti amo_ , Luigi,” he said. “ _Ti amo tanto_.”

Luigi smiled with glistening eyes at his elder brother, and they rode the rest of the way to the hospital in silence.


	45. Shake it Off (GOOD ENDING Pt. 3)

By some manner of fate, there was an emergency room not far from where The Last Resort once stood. The EMTs had rushed Luigi there on the double, and he was immediately whisked away into an operating room upon arrival. He’d coded once en route, but thanks to Mario’s presence, he was stabilizing. The man in green wasn’t leaving this earth tonight, or for a very long time, for that matter.

Mario sat in the waiting room and texted Peach, the Toads and Gadd, updating them on the situation. Then, he fetched a bite to eat from the vending machines and spent the next hour or so keeping vigil outside the OR.

Several cups of cappuccino and two bathroom breaks later, Mario was greeted by the head surgeon.

“How is he?” asked the man in red.

“He pulled through, and he’s currently in stable condition,” replied the surgeon. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Your brother looked horrible when he was brought in. He’d lost a substantial amount of blood, suffered several first and third degree burns, took quite a few blows to the face—not to mention the various lacerations and gashes we had to stitch up. And yet he was fully conscious and able to respond to our questions before we sedated him.”

“The EMTs were stunned, too,” said Mario.

“In addition to the stitches, we performed several X-Ray examinations,” said the surgeon. “I’m sorry to say that your brother sustained extensive bone fractures, especially to the ribcage.”

“Oh, my God. He didn’t puncture a lung, did he?”

“Fortunately, he didn’t. But we’ll have to keep him here longer than we expected.”

“How long?”

“A month—maybe two—at least until the worst of his injuries have healed. Is he currently taking any medication?”

“No. Just the usual Super and 1-Up Mushrooms.”

“I would recommend that he have a steady influx of those Mushrooms in his diet over the next few weeks.”

“May I see him now?”

“I’m sorry, Mario, but I want him to rest. He’s still coming around from the sedative we gave him. You can visit him in the morning.”

“Okay,” said Mario.

The surgeon took off her glasses. “He, uh—he didn’t seem to be in a lot of pain when he arrived, though,” she said. “He’ll probably recover quicker than we’ve projected. But as a precaution, we’re keeping him hospitalized for at least a month.”

Mario bit his lip.

“The EMTs told us that he fought King Boo for the third time, plus sixteen major ghosts beforehand. How did he—and not collapse? Adrenaline? Something else?”

“He was thinking about me,” said Mario, “and the others.”

“The power of love,” mused the surgeon. “It’s a curious thing.”

“Thank you for patching him up,” said Mario. “I’ll be here to visit him first thing tomorrow morning. Is your cafeteria still open?”

“Yes. It’s open 24 hours a day, and it’s located down the hall to your left.”

“Thanks, Doctor,” said Mario.

He stood, stretched and headed toward the cafeteria for a proper meal.

**…**

After filling up on cafeteria food, Mario called a Lyft and returned to what remained of The Last Resort, where he passed along the bittersweet news.

“This works out well, considering,” said Gadd. “We probably won’t start construction until next year. The holiday season is coming, after all.”

“We’ll all pay him a visit tomorrow,” said Peach.

“Yeah. I think he’d like that,” said Mario.

“But right now,” said Gadd, “a good night’s sleep is in order.”

He guided Mario and the others toward several domelike structures, which were shaped like his face. “Here’s where you’ll be staying until the new hotel is complete.”

“Our own separate rooms,” said Mario.

“Indeed. It’s not much—but it’s clean and warm, right?”

“Right,” said Mario. Then, he yawned. “It’s been a rough night. I’d better hit the hay.”

“Ditto,” said Peach.

“Wait—what about our luggage?” asked Brad.

“The ghosts managed to dig your things out of the rubble,” said Gadd. “They’re perfectly intact, and they’ll be waiting for them inside your quarters.”

“Eh—we’ll unpack later,” said Thad. “Thanks, though.”

“You’re welcome,” said Gadd.

After bidding each other good night, they all trudged into the living quarters Gadd had set up for them, lasting long enough to disrobe and flop onto their beds.

Within seconds, they were asleep.

**…**

As the sun rose to welcome a brand new day, Gadd, Thad, Brad, Chad, Mario and Peach awoke, jumped into a nice, cool shower and pulled on fresh clothes. Then, they piled into the bus, which was miraculously still standing, and drove to the hospital, stopping to eat breakfast at a nearby diner.

“I heard about what happened,” said the waitress as she served them some coffee. “Are you guys all right?”

“We’ll live,” smiled Peach, “but we appreciate your concern.”

After breakfast, the sextet filed into the hospital waiting room, where a nurse was there to greet them.

“Luigi’s in Room 22,” she told them. “He’s really eager to see you guys, and his condition has improved significantly. Please, keep your visit brief, and try not to upset him.”

“Will do,” said Mario, and they all walked into Luigi’s room.

They expected to find him in a hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask and hooked to countless machines. But he wasn’t. Yes, he was in a hospital bed, but he wasn’t wearing an oxygen mask, and aside from an IV, he wasn’t hooked to a bunch of machines. He was seated comfortably, finishing his breakfast and watching the morning news on TV.

Luigi raised his head and smiled at them, and they smiled back.

“Morning,” he greeted.

“Morning,” said Mario, taking a seat at Luigi’s bedside. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling okeydokey,” replied Luigi. “How’s construction coming along?”

“We’re not starting until next year,” said Gadd. “We wanted to wait until you fully recovered.”

“I appreciate that,” said Luigi.

“The doctor told me just how badly you got it from _him_ last night,” said Mario. “He did an Inferno of a number on you—and yet you were still standing during the fight.”

“I _had_ to.”

“You almost died for us,” said Peach.

“He—he kinda did,” said Mario. “In the ambulance—on the way here—he—coded.”

“And then I came back,” said Luigi.

“When I heard the monitors going crazy, I…” Mario started to say.

“It wasn’t my time,” Luigi told him. “I was floating towards this light, and I saw our parents, and I really wanted to go with them. But then I heard your voice, and I thought about you and Peach and…” His eyes shone with tears. “As long as you’re still breathing—so will I.” He caressed Mario’s cheek. “You brought me back, Bro.”

Mario leaned down and allowed their foreheads to touch. The other five pulled up some chairs and took seats around Luigi.

“When he told me to stay down—I was hurting so badly,” whispered Luigi, “and I really wanted to say down, but—I couldn’t. I saw that portrait frame looming over the hotel, and in that portrait frame, I saw your faces. I heard your voices, I felt you…”

“We felt you, too,” said Peach.

“You fought your way up 18 stories for us,” said Thad. “Why? Why did you fight so fiercely for people who barely give you credit when it’s due?”

“Because I wanted to.”

“Why did you want to?” asked Brad.

“Because you’re my family. It doesn’t matter that you forget me sometimes. And if I abandoned you, then I’d have to live with it for the rest of my days, knowing that I could’ve done something.”

“We wouldn’t have blamed you if you did, because we take you for granted,” said Chad. “We’re a bunch of stupid, selfish mushroom-heads who can’t protect ourselves against some invading turtles!”

“And I’m just a stupid little man who sometimes lets the fame get to his head,” added Mario.

“And me? I’m a spoiled Princess who spends her time throwing partings and playing sports rather than running a kingdom,” huffed Peach.

“I started this whole thing, too—by strutting into Boo Woods thinking I could handle some ghosts,” said Mario. “I thought I was invincible, but I wound up with an egg on my face, traumatized—and I got you traumatized, too. While I was in that portrait, I was thinking about all the times I treated you like [bleep], all the times we fought; I was thinking about it even before Hellen paid me a visit. Why, Luigi? Why do you even bother?”

“If I said this once, then I said it a billion times—it’s not your fault,” said Luigi.

“Then why do we feel like it is?” asked Gadd. “I saved you from the ghosts, and then I shoved a vacuum into your hands and sent you back into the danger zone.”

“It was _my_ choice,” said Luigi. “My choice alone.”

“But then twelve years later, I roped you into another dangerous mission…”

“…and it was also my choice. I could’ve told you to stick it up your [bleep], but I didn’t. I felt—honored—to be needed, okay? Honored.”

“And Chad, Brad and I—the other Toads—we ignore you,” sighed Thad. “How do you cope with it?”

“I just do,” replied Luigi.

“What about me?” asked Peach. “I sang Mario’s praises and fell in love with him—but left you twisting in the wind.”

“But I found a Princess of my own,” said Luigi, “and I get why you fell for Mario. He’s perfect. I’m flawed.”

“You’re flawed, but you’re a hero,” said Peach. “What you did last night—I think someone else would’ve broken down long before reaching the halfway mark. But you stayed with it, Luigi. You _stayed with it_. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t even be here. So right now—we wanna take a moment to say—thanks.”

“Thanks for saving us,” said Thad.

“Thanks for helping me,” said Gadd.

“And thanks for being my bro,” said Mario.

“No thanks is necessary,” said Luigi, “but you’re welcome. What I did tonight—I’ll do it again in a heartbeat.”

“We know, Lil’ Bro,” said Mario, slipping into the bed and into Luigi’s arms. “We know.”

**…**

Luigi continued to shock his friends as well as the attending physicians with his recovery. All of his fractures healed quicker than the average person, and he while he walked with a slight limp, he barely felt any pain. Even so, the hospital staff was adamant that he remain in their care for at least a month, that he minimize any strenuous activity and that he wear bandages around his torso. His shoulders and right ankle wound up bandaged, as well, and he was put on an antibiotic regimen to prevent the onset of infection.

The man in green spent most of his convalescence in a deep sleep, awakening only to talk to his friends, eat, answer the call of nature and watch TV. After what he’d endured, could you blame him? And it helped. By the time the month was halfway over, Luigi had more energy, the aches were abating and some of the bandages could be removed. However, he still suffered from nightmares about what happened and what could’ve happened. But with his friends’ support, supplemented by video sessions with Dr. Beckett, his psychological recovery progressed as smoothly as his physical recovery.

Luigi spent the remainder of 2019 with his loved ones, writing in his journal and doing all of his favorite activities. He didn’t even _think_ about his latest run-in with King Boo. His nemesis—and the new hotel—would be dealt with once the New Year, and the new decade, dawned.

**…**

**_January 2020_ **

At noon on New Year’s Day, Gadd, Luigi, Peach, Mario, the Toads and the ghosts officially broke ground for construction of the new hotel. The project would be funded by the money Luigi had collected during his venture, which was quite a lot. Over the first few days, Luigi worked with Gadd regarding the hotel’s design. It would be structured like a traditional hotel and have cream-colored walls, plus a sculpture on the rooftop resembling Gadd’s singular tuft of white hair.

Clad in their yellow hard-hats, everyone set to work. From 9 to 5 every weekday, with a one-hour lunch break in between, everyone labored away at the new hotel. The ghosts were quite competent workers, manning various construction equipment and power tools like pros, and since they didn’t need to eat or rest, they could work into the night, as well. The Hammers mainly took care of the heavy lifting, carrying lumber and girders from place to place. The Slinkers made sure that everyone involved was safe. The Oozers and Goobs helped with everything else.

After the foundation was completed, they decided to incorporate the previous hotel’s themes into the new hotel, minus the malevolence, of course. For example, there would be two restaurants, one staffed by Soulffle and the other with Captain Fishhook as the mascot. The other thirteen boss ghosts would man their own themed attractions, as well.

Right now, however, they were focused on moving all of the furniture and carpeting into the new hotel, as well as putting in the windows and applying the coats of primer and paint. The ghosts would lift their helpers onto hard-to-reach areas, and the Mini Goobs and Mini Hammers would tackle all of the cracks and crevices.

To make the work less tedious, they’d all take turns playing their favorite music. Or, they’d tell each other raunchy jokes. Anything to pass the time—and it worked. One afternoon, they sat on a girder to eat their lunch, recreating the iconic shot of the workers building the Empire State Building in the late 1920s. 

Day by day, the new hotel inched closer and closer to completion, but of course, Gadd didn’t believe in all work and no play. Everyone had the weekends off, and the eccentric professor had a wild and crazy idea to keep Luigi and co. entertained every Saturday and Sunday…

**…**

**_April 2020_ **

“Guys,” said Peach as she warily treaded down the hallway. “Can you hear me?”

No answer.

“Okay—I’ve approached another room, and I’m going in.”

She turned the knob and eased her way inside. Right off the bat, she sensed that she was no longer alone.

A Slinker saw Peach walk into the room and chuckled softly. It was perfect. She wouldn’t even see them coming. Maintaining their invisibility, the Slinker advanced on her from behind, reaching out their appendages to grab her—

With a triumphant shriek, Peach whirled on the Slinker, flashing a pink light in their face.

“Gotcha!” she cried, gripping the vacuum on her back and turning on the suction full blast.

The Slinker tried to flee, but Peach was too fast, grabbing their tails in the suction and rocking back on her heels, just like her unofficial brother-in-law had taught her. With enviable precision, she heaved her would-be attacker overhead and slammed them against the carpet floor.

“This is fun!” she giggled as she slammed the Slinker down again and again.

“Okay, you got them!” Gadd’s voice spoke to her from an earpiece. “Now keep going!”

“All right,” said Peach as a group of Goobs surrounded her.

Calmly, she pressed a button on her vacuum, launching herself into the air and producing three large hearts which blew the Goobs back. Still airborne, she glided out of that tight spot before taking on the Goobs, capturing them one after the other.

“Hey, you guys—a little help!” she heard Mario shout.

Peach subdued the last Goob, causing the room to brighten. “I’m coming!” she cried, darting back into the hallway.

It didn’t take long for her to find Mario, pinned behind a false door.

“Oh, no! Let me get you out of there!” exclaimed Peach, firing a heart-shaped suction cup at the false door and then yanking it away.

Mario adjusted his cap as he caught his breath. “Those things are still throwing me for a loop,” he said.

“C’mon, Mario—you’re improving,” said Peach, kissing him on the lips. “You’ve only been caught in a trap twice so far.”

“Progress comes in slow steps,” Mario said softly. “At least now I’m learning how to fight ghosts, rather than being captured by them.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Peach. “Looks like we have one room left to clear. C’mon.”

They met up with Thad, Chad and Brad in a large room, struggling against four Hammers, two Oozers and ten Goobs.

“Thank God you’re here,” panted Brad. “We’re about to be overwhelmed!”

Peach turned to Mario. “Shall we?”

“Why not?” grinned Mario.

Eagerly, the couple joined the three Toad retainers in battling the room full of ghosts.

When Professor Gadd had pitched the ScareScraper to them, they’d been suspicious at first. But during their first run-through, they realized that it wasn’t that bad. Instead of requiring rescue, the quintet was now in the thick of ghost-fighting, using their special skills to give themselves more of an advantage. Peach had her gliding ability and her heart motif, Mario had his pyrokinesis and his all-around skills, and the Toads had the ability to scurry through crawlspaces, along with their bounciness. While they weren’t as skilled as Luigi, they’d at least be ready in the face of an actual ghostly attack.

The ScareScraper could range between 5 and 20 floors, and catching ghosts wasn’t the sole objective. Each floor would have a different goal, from collecting a specific amount of coins to getting rid of pesky crows and locating Toads. And the final level involved a fight with a large Boo. It was a simulation, of course, but it still got on their nerves—Mario’s especially.

In addition to the ScareScraper, Gadd had set up the ScreamPark, filled with many fun and interesting games to while away the time. The participants would be divvied up into two teams for each game, and the team who scored the most points would win. ScreamPark featured friendly competitions in ghost-capturing and coin collecting, as well as running through obstacle courses in pool floaties, shooting cannonballs at moving targets, dodgeball-type games, hockey-type games and even a game involving a scale similar to the one Luigi encountered in the Tomb Suites.

Eventually, the ScareScraper and the ScreamPark grew to become quite popular pastimes. However, most of their energy was reserved for completing the new hotel.

“All right,” panted Mario after they’d defeated the last ghost. “We caught them all!”

“Good going!” laughed Gadd. “How about you take a breather before moving onto the next floor?”

“Sure,” said Peach.

Gadd turned off the simulation, and the quintet walked out into the spring afternoon.

“You guys are getting good at this,” said Gadd as he collected their vacuums.

“Thanks,” said Thad.

“But Luigi—he’s the champ,” added Mario.

“True,” said Gadd.

They all followed Gadd into his makeshift lab, where they chowed down on a large pizza.

“Professor, I meant to ask you,” said Peach. “Where are you keeping them?”

“Underground,” Gadd replied, “in a heavy-duty, escape-proof vault. I’m not taking any chances again.”

“Next time you’re invited to a convention—be sure to confirm it with them first,” said Mario.

“You don’t have to tell me,” said Gadd.

“What about when the hotel opens?” asked Chad.

“I’ll have a Lab set up in the basement,” said Gadd, “and that’s where I’ll keep the containment unit housing them. They’ll be subject to 24/7 monitoring. No phone or Internet privileges—no contact whatsoever with the outside world.”

“That’ll show them,” said Peach.

“But at least they’ll be together,” Mario snarkily joined in.

They all laughed.

“Luigi’s with them,” Gadd suddenly told them.

The laughter abruptly stopped.

“He’s taken it upon himself to keep an eye on them until my monitoring system is fully online,” Gadd explained. “Every day, when he’s not working on the hotel or eating, he grabs the Poltergust and heads down there. He’s not taking any more chances, either.”

“You mean—he’s been down there all this time?” asked Thad.

Gadd solemnly nodded. “Come—I’ll show you,” he said, rising from his seat.

Peach, Mario and the Toads followed the Professor out of the lab and into an underground area, descending a flight of stairs into a small room.

“Here he is,” said Gadd, pointing out the man in green.

Luigi sat in a chair, his legs dangling nervously. The Poltergust was on his back, the nozzle leveled at the containment unit, his left hand gripping the handle while his right thumb was poised over the Strobulb button.

“Does he even sleep?” whispered Mario.

Gadd shushed him.

Moving closer, the sextet saw Hellen apprehensively regarding the Poltergust as she held Polterkitty in her arms.

“I wonder if—you could—see your way to angling that thing _away_ from my darling Polterkitty?” she asked.

After a pregnant pause, Luigi begrudgingly obliged, pointing the nozzle toward King Boo.

The Master of Illusions huffed. “Thanks, Hellen.”

Gadd nodded at his companions, and they all withdrew, silently and solemnly contemplating what they just saw.

**…**

**_One week later…_ **

The new hotel was almost complete. All it needed was to pass the necessary inspections. In the interim, Gadd had set up his new laboratory in the basement, and the first thing he did was secure the containment unit where Hellen and King Boo were held. At least three times a day, Luigi would check on his tormentors, motivated by the driving need to protect those that the Master of Illusions had explicitly threatened. He’d walk up to them, Poltergust at the ready, and tell them, “You’ll never hurt them again. You’ll never come near them again.”

One morning, Gadd had returned from a relaxing walk when Mario and Peach approached him, trailed by the three Toads.

“Professor!” Peach greeted. “We’re glad we caught up with you!”

“Morning,” said Gadd.

“Professor—we’ve given this a lot of thought,” said Mario. “We’ve talked about it, and—we’ve decided that—we need to see them.”

Gadd blanched. “What? Wh—why?”

“Unless we see those two locked away—we’ll never move on,” said Peach. “We need closure—from what they did to us, to Luigi—we don’t wanna be haunted by it.”

Gadd swallowed. “I can’t,” he said quietly. In a louder voice, he repeated, “I can’t.”

“You can’t? Or you don’t want to?” asked Brad.

“He—he told me—not to let you near them,” said Gadd.

“What?!” chorused the Toads.

Peach facepalmed, letting out a frustrated groan. “He’s our brother—not our wet nurse,” she said.

“Peachy, c’mon,” said Mario. “I kinda get why he’s doing this.”

“He goes in there every day and risks more emotional trauma,” said Thad. “Why can’t we?”

“Do you know why he goes in there?” asked Gadd.

“To make sure they don’t get out,” replied Chad.

“Well—yeah. But he also goes in there to protect you. To protect _us_.”

“They’re in a vault,” said Brad. “What more can they do—besides taunt us?”

“Every time he walks up to that containment unit and looks at those two—you wanna know what’s going through his mind?” challenged Gadd. “The persistent worry that _somehow_ , they’ll escape and unleash their rage…” The Professor indicated each of Luigi’s five friends as he spoke. “…on you, and you, and you, and you, and _you_. And me. Not only that—but also they’ll target all of the MK, all of Sarasaland—even all of New York City and all of Brooklyn.” 

“Our hometown,” breathed Mario. “J—s.”

“In his head, we’ll never be free of them,” said Gadd.

“Wait a minute—did he tell you that?” asked Mario.

“No.”

“So—you can just read his mind?”

“Mario—I’ve known him for almost 19 years. ’Nuff said.”

“Professor, please,” Peach said softly. “I know Luigi’s looking out for us, but—we’ve all had dreams about what happened. No matter how many showers I take, I can’t wash them off of me. Seeing those two will give us peace of mind. We don’t even have to be there for that long.”

Gadd bit his lip, thinking it over.

“Follow me,” he said finally. “You’ll each have two minutes.”

“Thank you, Professor,” said Mario.

They walked inside the soon-to-be-completed hotel and descended into the new lab, pausing when they saw the containment unit.

“Two minutes,” Gadd firmly repeated.

The three Toad retainers halted Peach and Mario before they could venture further into the lab. “If we may,” they offered.

Peach favored her retainers with a sweet smile.

Hand-in-hand, the three Toads slowly approached the containment unit and stood on tiptoe so they could peek inside.

“Oh, look,” purred Hellen. “Visitors.”

But the Toads stared Hellen and King Boo down. They weren’t _victims_. They were _survivors_.

“[Bleep] off,” growled Thad as he, Brad and Chad glared at their former captors.

They turned and headed back over to Gadd, Mario and Peach.

Mario turned to his Princess. “Ready?” he asked.

“Ready,” she answered.

She slipped her hand into his, and he kissed her knuckles before they, too, walked over to the containment unit.

“I’m right here,” Mario told Peach as they looked into their former captors’ faces. “I’m right here.”

Peach’s face was frozen in its most regal pose as she looked over Hellen and King Boo. The sickeningly sweet looks they gave didn’t fool her. She’d already seen them for the sadists they were.

“Ah,” said King Boo. “It’s nice to see you two again.”

“We’re not here to see you,” spat Mario.

“Then why are you here?” smirked Hellen. “Did you miss us, deep down in your hearts?”

Mario opened his mouth to retort, but Gadd stopped him.

“Don’t—answer that,” said the Professor.

Hellen laughed softly. “We certainly missed _you_ ,” she said, smooching at the pair.

“They have nothing to say to you,” Gadd said coldly, “so put a cork in it.”

“Well, you’re the paranormal scientist,” hissed King Boo. “Make us.”

Gadd didn’t react.

Slowly, Peach moved toward the imprisoned villains until her nose almost touched the glass separating them. Her chest heaved, and her nostrils flared.

“Princess…” Mario said softly.

Peach stared at the one who’d made one of her heroes feel helpless and tried to mentally break the other over the past eighteen years. Her face twisted in pain, hate and rage. And then she took a deep breath—and spat.

A gob of saliva spattered onto King Boo’s display case.

Having done what she’d come here to do, Peach turned around and exited the lab with her head held high.

“Wow,” said Mario as Gadd cleaned the display case with disinfectant wipes. “I couldn’t have said it better myself. _Arrivederci,_ you two. Enjoy your time together.”

And then he, too, was gone.


	46. Wildest Dreams (GOOD ENDING Pt. 4)

**_Summer 2020_ **

“5—4—3—2—1—Here we go!”

The ghosts, joined by Thad, Brad, Chad, Gooigi, Mario and Peach, cheered as Gadd and Luigi cut the ceremonial red ribbon and signaled the opening of the brand-new hotel. Confetti shot into the air and drifted down like multicolored snow, some of the ghosts beginning to play in it like children. They were ecstatic about their new home, and it showed in the way they hoisted Luigi and Gadd off the ground and gave them a few celebratory tosses into the air.

Once the excitement died down, everyone filed into the building, where they enjoyed a buffet of hot and cold foods, beverages and desserts. Steward was hard at work briefing a team of bellhop ghosts, while Chambrea led a team of maid ghosts. Swiftly and efficiently, the former group got everyone checked into their hotel rooms, while the latter team ensured that each guests’ accommodations were to their liking.

The new hotel wasn’t shy on recreational activities. On the third floor was a spa and fitness center, where the guests could sweat out the toxins and decompress. The third floor was also home to an indoor pool, and there was an outdoor pool on the ground floor, as well. Johnny Deepend taught Zumba, step aerobics and cycling classes in the Fitness Center, and every evening, he’d host swimming and Aqua classes in the indoor pool.

In addition, there were several interactive experiences which also doubled as dinner shows. One such dinner show was medieval-themed, hosted by King MacFrights, and concluded with a friendly “duel” between him and a random audience member. Of course, safety gear was provided before the duel, and all participants had to sign a waiver prior to entering the show. Another show dealt with Ancient Egypt, and it was hosted by Serpci, who was happy to give curious guests some interesting facts about her reign. A third dinner show was hosted by Nikki, Lindsey and Ginny, which was magic-themed. The ghostly triplets delighted and entertained with unbelievable magic tricks, feats of illusion, and even hypnosis, leaving the entire audience breathless by the show’s end. And Clem hosted a fourth dinner show, which dealt with a mechanic’s average day.

Speaking of food, there were two major restaurants in the new hotel. One was a French restaurant, with Soulffle as the top chef, who was known for personally seeing about his patrons. The other was a seafood restaurant, which was informal and family-oriented, and had Captain Fishhook as a mischievous but harmless mascot. While the former restaurant was located in the hotel lobby, the latter restaurant was on the mezzanine, right next to the hotel shops, where Kruller maintained law and order as he patrolled the area on a scooter.

Further up the hotel, on the tenth floor, was a music hall, where Wolfgeist headlined nightly performances, sometimes on his piano and other times conducting a ghostly orchestra. On the eleventh floor were the botanical gardens, lovingly tended to by Dr. Potter. Guests were encouraged to say hello to and take photos with the now-cute and benevolent Audrey, who looked less like a man-eating plant and more like a decorated Piranha Plant. One floor above the botanical gardens was a museum, with Ug serving as a docent, once again teaching young kids about natural history. And one floor above _that_ was a movie studio, where Morty enthusiastically gave tours in between dreaming up new film projects. If guests were especially lucky, they could find Luigi there, too.

On the penultimate floor was a dance club that came to life every night, with DJ Phantasmagloria spinning dance tunes from the 80s, 90s, 2000s and the present day. And the top floor was home to a quiet rooftop lounge, where people could guzzle on snacks and gaze at the scenery.

It was perfect. Everything was _perfect_.

**…**

After an eventful opening day, all of the guests ate dinner at one of the two restaurants, retired to their rooms, took a shower or chilled in their whirlpool baths, and then slid into their beds, turning on the TV and almost instantly conking out.

Save for a few.

Mario sat on the edge of his bed, clad in his PJs, listening to the small grunts and whimpers coming from the next room over. His baby bro wasn’t having a peaceful night’s sleep at all. That psychopath couldn’t leave him alone, even when he was safely locked away. No—he had to come to Luigi in his dreams and see to it that his torture would _never_ end.

Well, the man in red wouldn’t stand for it.

Peach walked into the room, wearing a nightgown, her hair pinned up and her face scrubbed clean of makeup. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” said Mario.

“Wanna stay up with me?” asked Peach.

“I probably won’t be able to sleep anyway,” Mario told her. “I’m starting to better understand why Luigi visits that containment unit multiple times a day.”

“Nightmares?”

“No,” Mario said softly. “ _This_.”

They fell silent, listening to Luigi trying to fend off whatever horror was menacing him—or his loved ones—in his mind.

Mario rose from the bed and silently offered his hand to Peach, who took it.

The couple padded into Luigi’s room and saw him on the bed, wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms, face sweaty and bearing an expression of utmost distress, hair disheveled, breath coming fast, thrashing and fighting.

“No—you can’t have them—not again—you’ll never have them—take me instead—please…”

Peach and Mario exchanged aghast glances.

“Why are you doing this? Why?”

A lump rose in Mario’s throat as he listened to Luigi’s fitful sleep.

“Gadd’s right,” he whispered. “In my bro’s mind—we’ll never be rid of that monster.”

He took of his pajama top and tossed it on his own bed before venturing deeper into his bro’s room. Then, he noticed the Poltergust G-00 within grabbing range, the Goo inside the Plexiglass tank churning and bubbling. Mario reached over and pressed the green button on the apparatus, letting Gooigi out.

Gooigi’s gelatinous body was quivering. “M—Mario…” he uttered.

Silently, Mario drew his gooey bro into his arms. Gooigi sobbed quietly.

“Mario…”

“Hey—it’s okay. I’m here,” said Mario.

They jumped at a small cry from Luigi, seeing his body jerking and struggling.

“He needs us,” Mario told Gooigi.

“I know,” said Gooigi.

The Goo on his body shifted so that he was shirtless and wearing pajama bottoms. He and Mario exchanged a nod and then quietly climbed into the bed on Luigi’s either side, sliding their arms around the tormented plumber and holding him close.

Peach stood there, watching the scene. “Do you—do you want me to leave?” she asked.

Mario shook his head. “All of us—he needs all of us,” he replied.

Biting her lip, Peach strode toward the bed, only for Mario to stop her and indicate her nightgown. “He—he needs skin, Peachy.”

Swallowing, Peach removed her nightgown, leaving her only in a pair of pink, lacy panties.

Mario scooted aside so that Peach could join him, Gooigi and Luigi in the bed. Resting her head against Mario’s shoulder, she slid her arms around both of her heroes. Luigi gave a low hum of satisfaction, the tension in his body ebbing, his heart rate slowing, his breathing steadying and a contented smile replacing the distress on his face.

“We’re with you, Luigi,” said Mario. “We’re with you. And we’re all here for you, Bro. Always.”

They raised their heads at the sound of squeaky footsteps and saw Thad, Brad and Chad arrive on the scene, their eyes shining with concern. Peach gave her three retainers a nod, and the Toads joined her, Mario and Gooigi in snuggling with Luigi.

Barely five minutes later, Professor Gadd stood in the doorway, his face pale. “Is he all right?” he whispered.

Mario, Peach, the Toads and Gooigi shook their heads “no”.

Quickly, Gadd shrugged out of his lab coat and draped it over one of the chairs before pulling off his shoes, undoing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. The elderly professor stripped to his undershirt, boxers and socks, and then he made his way over to the bed, slipping in next to Gooigi.

Gadd took off his glasses and placed them on the nightstand before wrapping his arms around Gooigi and Luigi.

“God bless you, youngsters,” he said. “God bless you.”

Polterpup then scurried over, curling up between Luigi and Gooigi.

And they all slept dreamlessly into the night and most of the next morning.

**…**

**_Three months later…_ **

A well-deserved vacation had come to an end, and it was time for Luigi and co. to return to the MK and resume their duties. Their leave from the Smash Bros tournament was almost over, as well. They woke up early, enjoyed a hearty breakfast and booked one final spa day before it was time to check out.

“For what it’s worth—it was lovely having you here,” Steward said sadly as his team of bellhops loaded the departing guests’ luggage onto the bus. “Come back soon, yeah?”

“Of course,” said Peach.

“Take care of yourselves,” Brea said softly.

“We won’t forget you,” said Kruller.

“I’ve released some of my compositions onto several online music providers,” said Wolfgeist. “I hope you check them out.”

“Despite the circumstances, it was a pleasure serving you,” said Soulffle.

“I leave you all in the grace and favor of the Lord,” said King MacFrights.

“Sorry again for siccing Audrey on you,” said Dr. Potter.

Morty handed the departing guests an autographed copy of a poster for his latest movie. “A little something to remember me by,” he said.

“Ug’s sad to see you go,” sniffled Ug.

“May the gods be with you,” Serpci intoned.

“Expect the unexpected!” chorused Nikki, Lindsey and Ginny.

“Keep a weather eye on the horizon,” said Captain Fishhook.

“The best of luck to you all,” said Johnny.

Gloria took off her wig and smiled. “You’re all right, you guys,” she said. “You’re all right.”

“Of course, I have to say behind and help look after this hotel,” said Gadd, “but I’ll get in touch with you soon, all righty?”

“All right,” said Luigi. “Thanks again for helping me.” Looking at the fifteen boss ghosts, he added, “And don’t worry. All is forgiven.”

The ghosts slumped with relief.

With a final smile, the departing quintet walked out of the hotel and boarded the bus.

Just as Luigi was about to step on, however, he paused and turned around.

Gooigi had followed them outside, and now he was standing there, looking despondent.

“Hold on a sec,” he said as he approached his gooey doppelganger.

“Wow,” said Gooigi. “I guess this is it. You’re going home.”

“I am,” said Luigi.

“I’d love to join you—but I need to help the Professor,” Gooigi told him.

“No need to explain,” said Luigi. “Ah—listen, Gooigi. There’s not really an easy way to put this, but—our schedules are gonna be pretty slammed over these next few months. So—I don’t really know…”

Gooigi cut him off with a hand on his shoulder. “I know what’s coming, Luigi,” he said. “I’ve always known. But it doesn’t matter. You’ve given me the adventure of a lifetime in only one night. And I have a feeling that it’s gonna be a beautiful sunrise.” He drew Luigi into a tender embrace. “Have fun.”

Luigi returned the embrace. “Ditto,” he said quietly.

They separated, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. Then—

The man in green leaned forward, took Gooigi’s face in his hands and gave him one final, deep and passionate kiss.

“Keep a weather eye on the horizon,” he said when he finally broke the kiss.

Gooigi watched as Luigi turned and hurried back toward the bus and hopped aboard, the door sliding shut after him.

Gadd joined Gooigi as the bus started its engine and began to pull out of the valet area. Through the bus’s rear window, they could see Luigi, a big smile on his face as he waved goodbye. Joined by the ghosts, Gooigi and Gadd waved back until the bus pulled onto the main road and drove away.

“Hey,” said Gadd, noticing Gooigi’s saddened state. “This isn’t goodbye. It’s until we meet again.”

**…**

Once he could no longer see the new hotel, Luigi flopped onto a bus seat and fastened his seatbelt. Once again, he put in his earbuds and selected a travel-oriented playlist on his Spotify to listen to.

Just as he pressed “play”, Polterpup materialized on the seat beside him, mildly startling him.

“Hey, puppy,” chuckled Luigi, lightly scratching the top of Polterpup’s head. “You’re a lifesaver, you know that? A lifesaver—in every sense of the word.”

Polterpup gave a happy woof, licked Luigi’s cheek and pillowed his head on Luigi’s lap, closing his eyes as Luigi continued petting him.

But by and by, a familiar drowsiness settled over Luigi, and he had no reason to try and fight it. All of his friends were safe. Thad was driving the bus, Brad and Chad were playing _Super Smash Bros Ultimate_ on their Nintendo Switches, and Mario and Peach were making out. All was right with the world.

His fingers sifting through Polterpup’s fur, Luigi reclined his bus seat and settled back, allowing his muscles to relax, his eyes to close and his body to succumb to the bus’s relaxing motion.

It was the best sleep he’d had in months.


	47. Rise (GOOD ENDING Pt. 5)

**_October 2021_ **

It had been 20 years.

Twenty years since Luigi confronted his phasmophobia for the first time. Twenty years since he was told he won a free mansion and found himself in a haunted locale filled with ghosts. Twenty years since he’d made the acquaintance of the eccentric Professor Elvin Gadd. Twenty years since he took up the Poltergust 3000 and embarked on a mission to find his big bro. Twenty years since he first faced off against the King of all Boos and lived to tell the story.

Twenty years since he first rescued Mario from a fate worse than death and kept to his vow.

And what a difference twenty years made. Mario had realized just how much Luigi meant to him and resolved not to take him for granted. Luigi had realized that he was better than he thought he was and walked from place to place with a bigger skip in his step and a bigger smile on his face. The MK as a whole took the man in green more seriously as a protector, and the kingdom’s enemies took him more seriously as an opponent. It could be argued that the Mario Bros’ adult lives could be divided into two sharp periods—before the mansion and after the mansion.

Of course, life after the mansion was by no means easy. Both Bros suffered from nightmares and ultimately wound up seeing therapists. Adding to this, King Boo had escaped twice more, and on the third time, he’d menaced almost everyone Luigi held dear. And he, along with his equally twisted girlfriend and fan club president, had taken it a step further by traumatizing not only Mario but also Peach, Thad, Brad and Chad. Adding to the psychological torture they’d heaped on Luigi by taunting him with phone calls and disabling cellular and Internet services—it was a miracle that Luigi and co. emerged with their sanity intact. But against all odds, without hesitation and at any cost—they’d pulled through.

Twenty years. Twenty years of dealing with King Boo. And Luigi wouldn’t trade those twenty years for anything in the world. He was twenty years stronger. Twenty years wiser. Twenty years better.

**…**

Luigi, Mario, Peach, Thad, Brad and Chad celebrated this important milestone at the new hotel, where they sat in the rooftop lounge with Gadd and Gooigi, trading stories and reflections.

“Has it _really_ been that long?” asked Luigi.

“It has,” said Gadd. “We’ve been friends for twenty great years.”

“And you haven’t aged a bit,” smiled Luigi.

Gadd chuckled.

“Bro—what if I told you—that _you_ saved the MK twenty years ago?” asked Mario.

“I—did?”

“You did. By saving me. If you hadn’t, then Koopa or some other villain would’ve made a potentially successful power play. You would’ve done a good job holding them off, of course, but the MK needs both of us.”

“He’s right,” said Peach. “One Mario Bro without the other is like peanut butter without jelly. Like Laurel without Hardy. Like Abbot without Costello. Like Batman without Robin. Like Pinky without the Brain. Every good hero has someone supporting their load.”

“Two is bigger than one, after all,” Brad chimed in.

“And there’s no ‘I’ in team!” chirped Thad.

Luigi smiled. “Aw—thanks, guys,” he said, “but Professor Gadd’s the true hero of the story. He showed up when I was cornered by a ghost. If he hadn’t—then I wouldn’t have become so adept at ghost-hunting.”

Gadd blushed. “That may be true,” he said, “but—it was ultimately _you_ who decided to go back into the danger zone and save Mario. Like you told us two years ago—it was _your_ choice, and your choice alone. All I did was supply the means. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the Poltergust. It’s about the will to do what the ghosts least expect you to do.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“You know what’s surprising?” asked Mario.

“What?” asked Peach.

“We all owe King Boo, and by extension, Hellen, some thanks,” Mario explained. “Look how close-knit we’ve become after the stunts they pulled. The first time, it hit me in the face how much Luigi and I needed each other. And two years ago, while waiting for Luigi to save us—we leaned on each other to survive. So give those two some credit—they made us that much stronger.”

“Yeah,” murmured Luigi. “They did, didn’t they?”

“That’s—that’s a good way to put it,” said Peach.

Murmurs of assent.

Steward walked over, joined by Chambrea. “Are you guys doing okay?” he asked. “Can I get you anything? More drinks—more snacks?”

“Sure—we could use some refills,” said Gadd. “Thanks, Steward.”

“Soulffle and Captain Fishhook will send some sampler platters up later in the night,” said Steward.

“That’s very thoughtful of them,” said Peach. “Send them our thanks, please.”

“Will do,” said Steward.

“Before we go,” said Brea. “There’s some news we’d like to share.” She and Steward exchanged a look as she spoke.

Luigi and co. waited in anticipation.

“Ta-da!” Brea sang out, showing off the diamond ring on her finger.

Everyone cheered.

“My word!” Gadd exclaimed. “Congratulations, you two!”

“Thank you,” said Brea. “I still can’t believe it myself. We were having lunch at the seafood restaurant, and when it was time for dessert, Steward ordered sundaes for us. And in place of a cherry—was this.” She admired the ring. “We haven’t set a wedding date yet—but it’ll be sometime next year.”

“And we’ll hold the ceremony right in this hotel, of course—in the ballroom,” said Steward, “and since Captain Fishhook is actually a captain, and captains can legally perform marriages, he’s already agreed to officiate.”

“And you all are invited,” finished Brea.

“We’ll be there,” Peach said brightly. “All the best to you.”

Steward and Brea smiled before taking their leave together.

“Wow,” mused Peach. “I never knew something something so beautiful could come out of something so—horrifying.”

“Are you talking about Steward and Brea’s engagement?” asked Mario. “Or about…?”

“Maybe I’m talking about both,” said Peach. “When the action is over, and we look back—we understand both more and less. _That’s_ a given. Heck, after Luigi freed me, he started calling me ‘Sis’. I think he’s always wanted to call me that for a long time.”

“I have,” said Luigi.

“I told you guys, didn’t I? We’re one big, weird, happy family,” said Peach. “And Mario—I can safely say that I’m completely over the stunt you pulled on the Moon. I have better things to do with my time than mull over stuff like that.”

“Ditto,” said Mario. “We’re in a very good place now. And we don’t need to be married in order to be in a good place.”

They kissed, deeply and passionately.

“And look at you, Bro,” said Mario when the kiss ended. “You’re in a good place, too.”

“Yeah,” Luigi said softly. “I’m still pretty far from okay, but thanks to you, Peach, the Professor, Daisy, the Toads, Polterpup and Gooigi—I’m better off than I was 20 years ago.”

“And 20 years will never erase the sight of you, standing in that Secret Altar, ready to throw down with someone you feared in order to liberate me from eternal imprisonment,” said Mario. “It’s an image I’ll always return to in my darkest hours.”

“Thanks, Bro,” Luigi said quietly.

Brea and Steward returned to restock on food and beverages. When they departed, Luigi raised his glass. “Here’s to all of you,” he said.

“And here’s to you,” said Mario, raising his own glass, with the others following suit.

They all clinked their glasses together.

“Here’s to the next twenty years as a ghost-hunter extraordinaire,” added Luigi.

“Hear, hear,” said Gadd.

They all took a drink, and then Luigi set down his glass.

“I’m gonna go and get my Poltergust,” he said. “There’s one last thing I gotta take care of.”

He rose, and his friends stood up with him.

“There’s one last thing _we_ gotta take care of,” Mario clarified. “We’re with you to the end of the line, Bro.”

A broad smile spread across Luigi’s face.

**…**

After Luigi stopped to arm himself with the Poltergust G-00, he and the others descended to the basement floor, where they strode into the Professor’s lab. And right across from them were the two fiends they wanted—no, _needed_ —to see.

King Boo greeted them with a psychotic grin. “Happy anniversary, you guys,” he said. “Come here to do a little reminiscing, have you?”

Gadd’s face was flint as he walked toward his prisoners. “You really think you’re something, don’t you?” he asked. “Well, guess what? A _common plumber_ outsmarted you thrice—one who’s been denounced as a scaredy-cat, to boot. How do you like _those_ apples, _Your Grace_?”

“I’d watch my mouth if I were you,” growled King Boo. “No containment unit can hold me!”

Gadd smirked. “ _This_ containment unit’s doing a good job holding you,” he said. “I might have made some blunders, but at least I learned from them.”

King Boo snarled. “I strongly suggest that you start sleeping with one eye open,” he warned.

But Gadd was unfazed. “Throughout my career, ghosts like you have threatened me,” he said, “and throughout my career, I’ve battled ghosts like you with nothing but an enhanced vacuum cleaner. So I’m rubber, and you’re glue. Everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you, and you can take that to the bank. Next time you pull something, I’ll be ready. I’ll always be.”

Gadd turned and moved aside, allowing Thad, Brad and Chad to approach the two ghosts.

“Well,” said Thad, “we have nothing to say to you, except that we wash our hands of you and what you did to us.”

“And all around the world, parents will tell their children about how a phasmophobe handed you your [bleep],” added Brad.

“You can threaten us all you like, but your threats have _nothing_ on a brother’s loyalty,” finished Chad. “Chew on that, buddy.”

The three Toads rejoined Gadd, and then Mario walked over.

“After the b.s. you put me through, you’d think I despise you,” he said, “and I do. But I also wanna thank you—because you helped me realize I have the best brother in the world. An unselfish brother who readily casts aside his own wants and needs and risks bodily harm and death for others. He’s envious of me, and I’ve accepted that—but he loves me enough to keep his envy from taking control. _You_ can’t change that. And Hellen can’t change that. So—thanks for putting things into perspective.”

“You’re welcome,” sniped King Boo.

“I’m gonna walk out that door now, and I’m gonna live my life, make my living fair and square and sleep well each night. But you—you’re gonna be locked in here forever. I just thought you should know that. I’ll send a bar of soap from time to time.”

Mario stepped away from his former captors, allowing Peach to daintily step forward.

“You tried to break us,” she said, “but you failed. After tonight, we shall think on you no more. You’re nothing but—an inflated marshmallow in a display case, with an old man monitoring your every breath. I know you don’t wanna believe it, but we lead wholesome lives that don’t revolve around you. I’m the ruler of a prosperous kingdom, in a happy and healthy relationship with a spirited, courageous man, and I’m the proud sister of another spirited man. Those two men are my two heroes—my two boys, and I love and cherish them equally, even though my constituents only remember one of them. The two of you can rot with the knowledge that we’re standing tall in spite of your antics. You are neither hot nor cold, and because you’re lukewarm, we shall spew you from our mouths.”

The last one to approach was Luigi, Poltergust in a firm grip and at the ready.

“Look at you,” said King Boo. “Green man wearing a vacuum cleaner. Take that off, and what are you?”

“A brother,” Luigi icily responded, “and a fighter.”

King Boo just cackled. “Those friends of yours have a mouth on them,” he said. “They’re talking all this nonsense about _surviving_ me, but nothing could be further from the truth. For one glorious night, they were my _property_!”

“You think you put people through Hell?” asked Luigi. “It will rain—back down—on you.”

“Well, let it rain, I say,” said King Boo. “You’ll never be free of me. I’m _part_ of you now.”

Luigi pointed the nozzle of his vacuum between his nemesis’s violet eyes. “Your words will disappear,” he said calmly. “Your deeds will disappear. Your _name_ will disappear. _All memory of you will disappear_.” He spoke the last sentence with all the malice he could find in his heart.

The smile dropped from King Boo’s face. “Wha…?”

But Luigi turned and walked away without looking back, and so did his friends.

“Hey! Get back here!” raged King Boo. “I’m not through with you yet! You hear me?! I _will_ get out of here! And when I do, I will _bathe in your blood_!”

King Boo continued to scream at them, but Luigi and co. didn’t break stride.

**…**

“Did that just happen?” Luigi asked breathily.

“It did,” said Gadd. “We told him off. Together.”

“Together,” said Mario.

“Together,” said Peach.

“Together,” the three Toads chimed in.

“Yeah,” said Luigi. “Together.”

They returned to the rooftop lounge, where they enjoyed the sampler platters Souffle and Captain Fishhook brought out to them.

Later that night, the Toads, Mario and Peach had retired to the suites they’d booked, leaving Luigi and Gadd together on the roof. Gooigi was resting in his Plexiglass tank in Luigi’s room, and Polterpup was curled up on Luigi’s lap, fast asleep.

“Wow,” Gadd said softly. “A twenty-year friendship. Venturing into that mansion and rescuing you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Luigi smiled at him. “Back at you.”

“I believe that everything happens for a reason,” said Gadd. “Don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Ever since I was your age, I always knew that one day, I’d take another fearful soul under my wing and guide them in the right direction. It’s always been a goal of mine, even when I was a boy fighting my own fears. And Providence listened and led me right into your orbit.”

“And you into mine,” said Luigi.

“Do you know how long I’ve been at this?” asked Gadd. “80 years solid. And the best years of my career were arguably those I spent with you. On that fateful night in 2001, I was afraid that I was on the brink of a burnout. And then you arrived. I had a purpose again. The new Poltergusts I designed in the years since—they were exclusively for you. I even created Gooigi for you.” The elderly Professor sighed. “There’s, ah—there’s something you need to know.”

“What is it?”

“When your other friends and I were in that ensemble painting, and _he_ was bringing it down on the Last Resort,” Gadd began, “there was someone who I was thinking of—and it wasn’t who I thought it’d be. It was you, Luigi. You. Not an intimate friend or acquaintance from years past—but you, the dependable man in green.”

Luigi blushed. “Me?”

“Yes. I prayed to God, ‘Please, help me through this, so I can continue sharing my knowledge with this youngster, so I can continue helping him’. Isn’t it strange? You’ve left more of an impression on me than the others who’ve gone in and out of my long life.”

Luigi blushed even deeper.

“But that night also helped me realize—that I’m just an old man. I really can’t take knocks from a ghost the way I used to. Nowadays, Gooigi’s doing most of the field work.”

“Professor?”

“What I’m saying is—lately, I’ve had to stare my mortality in the face. And it scares me. Will my work be remembered when I’m gone? And what’ll happen to _you_? I need to keep you ready and one step ahead of the next paranormal threat, to design more and more Poltergusts and provide more ghost-fighting tools at your disposal.”

“Professor, you _will_ be remembered. I’ll make sure of it. And I’m confident that Gooigi will keep me prepared for when ghosts attack.” Luigi smiled at Gadd. “I don’t think even Death can stop you. I can picture you right now, continuing your work as a ghost.”

“ _That_ would be a sight,” chuckled Gadd.

The two spent the rest of the night in the rooftop lounge, talking quietly and enjoying the cookies and cocoa that Steward and Brea had brought up to them.

“Look at that,” Gadd said softly as night faded to gray dawn. “The sun’s about to come up.”

Mentor and mentee gazed eastward, where tinges of pink and orange began lighting up the sky.

“It’s always lovely, watching the sunrise,” Gadd opined. “One of the things I remember the most about the night we met was seeing the sun peep over the horizon and say hello after a night of dread, horror and pain.”

“Me, too,” said Luigi. “I remember watching the sunrise and sitting next to Mario and thinking, ‘Everything’s gonna be all right’.”

“And it is,” said Gadd. “More or less.”

The pink and orange hues further brightened along the eastern horizon, followed by the sun’s first rays stretching toward the hotel.

“Luigi, my boy—can you promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t let your fears and insecurities get in your way,” said Gadd. “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t rise to the occasion. Because you _can_ —and you _did_. And for goodness sake—don’t treat being in a secondary role like a bad thing—because sometimes, the secondary role is the most important role.”

“Yeah—it is, isn’t it?”

“And continue looking after your brother, your ‘sister’ and the rest of your friends. They need you, and you need them.”

“They’ll be in safe hands,” said Luigi. “Count on it.”

Elvin let out a breath. “Perfect,” he said.

A comforting beat passed between them as they continued to watch the sunrise.

“Professor,” Luigi said after a while.

“Yeah?” asked Gadd, his voice barely above a whisper.

“What if I—picked up the slack for you? Helped Gooigi around the lab a little bit?”

Wearily, Gadd turned around to study Luigi. “Really? You’d do that?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’ll do my best,” replied Luigi. “I mean—I’ve kicked the worst of my phasmophobia, but some of it’s still there. Even Polterpup can startle me off my feet sometimes.”

“It still hasn’t stopped you, though,” Gadd said with a smile.

“No, it hasn’t.”

Gadd leaned his head on Luigi’s shoulder, feeling a strange tiredness settle over him. His eyelids seemed to weigh fifty pounds, and the act of speaking was sapping energy from him.

“Luigi,” he said, “it may not show sometimes, but—I’m very proud of you, my boy. Very, very proud. If I had a hat, then I’d take it off to you.”

“Thank you, Professor.”

“And I’m honored that you’d want to further get involved in my line of work,” added Gadd. “In light of what’s happened, maybe I _should_ start paying you.” He chuckled softly, and Luigi chuckled with him.

“One thing’s for sure—I’m getting _way_ too old for this ghost-catching tomfoolery,” Gadd went on.

The sun was now hovering over the mountain range, bathing Luigi and Gadd’s faces in its warm light. Both felt strangely at peace as they gazed at the scene.

“Thing of beauty,” mused Gadd.

Luigi hummed in assent.

Thus lulled, the two of them slowly drifted off to sleep.

**…**

It was just after ten in the morning when Luigi woke up, Professor Gadd still snuggled against his shoulder. Polterpup was stirring, as well, his pupil-less eyes peeping open and his body briefly stretching out.

“Morning,” said Luigi as Polterpup licked his cheek. “I guess you’re hungry, huh?”

“Arf, arf!”

“Okeydokey—I guess I am, too. Let’s go get some breakfast.”

The man in green gave a little yawn and a stretch, and then he saw Polterpup playfully leap onto Gadd, happily licking his cheek, as well.

But Gadd didn’t stir.

Polterpup gave Luigi an alarmed look before licking Gadd’s cheek a second time and then nuzzling the elderly professor—doing anything to elicit a response from him. But the Professor just lay there, limp.

“ _Professore_? Are you okay?” asked Luigi, lightly touching Gadd’s shoulder.

No answer.

“ _Professore_ —it’s time to wake up. They’re about to stop serving breakfast,” said Luigi.

Still no answer. That’s when Luigi noticed that Gadd wasn’t breathing.

Polterpup barked urgently as Luigi placed two fingers against Gadd’s neck and felt no pulse.

“Oh, no,” breathed Luigi. “No, no, no…”

Carefully, he laid Gadd on his back, elevating his head and legs. Then, he unfastened Gadd’s tie, unbuttoned his shirt and began administering CPR.

“C’mon, Professor—stay with me,” Luigi said breathily. “You have to fight. Come on…”

One minute passed. Luigi made sure that Gadd’s airways were clear before attempting mouth-to-mouth. Thirty seconds later, the chest compressions resumed.

Polterpup whined sadly as he looked on.

Luigi whirled toward him. “Get the others,” he said. “Quickly!”

Barking wildly, Polterpup obliged.

Luigi whipped out his phone and dialed 9-1-1.

“Yes, hi. My name’s Luigi Mario. I need an ambulance right away—there’s an unresponsive elderly man at my location. I’m attempting to revive him, but it doesn’t look good. Please, hurry. I’ll be waiting.” He hung up and resumed CPR on Gadd. “C’mon, Professor. You’re not dying on me.”

Soon, he was joined by Peach, the Toads, Mario and the first 15 boss ghosts.

“Luigi—what’s going on?” asked Mario.

“The Professor—he’s not breathing,” Luigi said urgently. “The paramedics are coming, but someone needs to be downstairs to let them in.”

“We’re on it,” said Brea, she and Steward phasing through the roof.

Another ghost hovered nearby, bespectacled and sporting a head full of jet black hair. He was dressed in a suit and tie and a white lab coat. A solemn look was on his face as he watched his mentee fruitlessly attempt to save his life.

“It’s no use, my boy,” he said quietly. “I’m already gone.”

Steward and Brea met the EMTs at the door and led them to the rooftop lounge, where they immediately shoed Luigi and co. away and set to work. They fought just as valiantly as Luigi to resuscitate the eccentric professor, even bringing in a defibrillator.

But it was all in vain.

A grave expression was on the lead EMT’s face as she turned to Luigi and his friends and shook her head.

“N—no…” uttered Luigi.

He fell to his knees and sobbed, Mario and Peach kneeling down and holding him in their arms. They shielded him from the sight of the EMTs zipping up Gadd in a body bag and taking him away on a stretcher. The EMTs softly expressed their condolences before heading downstairs and loading Gadd’s body into the ambulance.

“H—he said he was p—proud of me,” hiccupped Luigi.

“By the looks of things, he went peacefully,” said Mario.

“And after having a long, meaningful talk with you,” added Peach. “If that’s not the perfect way to go, then what is?”

Luigi sniffled. “I’m gonna miss him,” he said.

“So are we,” Mario told him.

Somberly, Gadd’s ghost watched as Luigi mourned.

“I’ll miss you, too,” he said, “but I’ll be around…”

**…**

Twelve days later, Professor Elvin Gadd was laid to rest in his hometown of Hartford, Connecticut. Brilliant scientific minds of the past and present were there to send him off with beautiful eulogies, and many ghosts were in attendance, as well. Gadd’s five Toad Assistants, Fred, Zed, Ned, Ted and Ed, served as pallbearers and helped Peach, her Toad retainers and Mario comfort Luigi. Gooigi was also there, and he was just as inconsolable as his flesh-and-blood counterpart.

After the gooey humanoid gave his eulogy, he laid his head against Gadd’s casket. “I love you, Daddy,” he sobbed. “I love you so much.”

A light rain began to fall, forcing Gooigi to retreat into his Plexiglass tank.

Luigi was the last person to eulogize Gadd.

“When the action is over, and we look back, we understand both more and less,” he said. “This much is certain. Before I met Professor Gadd, I was just a timid man in green always coming in second. And after, I was a cautious but committed ghost hunter who refused to let my fears dominate me. Elvin Gadd was a man who changed me, both inside and out. He saved my life, armed me and taught me how to tap into and embrace my hidden bravery. He was always eager to share his new ideas with me, and when he invited me to be a part of his world, he totally transformed mine. I don’t think I’d be where I am today if I hadn’t met him. Today, I’d like to thank him for helping me grow as a person and giving me the fortitude to shoulder my burdens and carry on.

“ _Arrivederci_ , _Professore_. No doubt, our paths will cross again. But not yet. Not yet.”

The light rainfall increased to a downpour as Gadd’s casket was slowly lowered into the ground.

Later that afternoon, the mourners headed to a nearby pub to trade stories about the late paranormal researcher, and Luigi met and befriended all of Gadd’s old friends, colleagues and classmates.

At 7 in the evening, Luigi and co. returned to the hotel, where the man in green decided to remain for a while to help Gooigi look after it. Inside the Professor’s lab, they bowed their heads for a moment of silence, which they followed up with a champagne toast.

“To the Professor,” said Luigi as everyone clinked glasses.

“Oh, boo-f—ing-hoo!” a voice snapped.

Everyone spun around to glare at a gleeful-looking King Boo.

“It’s about time that old geezer croaked,” the King went on. “Frankly, he deserved to die in horrible agony rather than pass on in his sleep, but hey, that’s just me. Anyway—good f—ing riddance! I hope he rots in Hell!”

Rage surged through every pore in Luigi’s skin as he stormed up to the imprisoned King.

“Luigi!” Mario called after him. “He’s not worth it!”

But Luigi ignored him, searing his steely gaze into his tormentor.

“I will _not_ allow you to drag my mentor’s name through the dirt mere hours after I saw him in the ground,” he growled. “You understand me?”

“Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?” challenged the King.

“Oh, I guess you haven’t heard. I’ve chosen to look after this posh hotel for a few weeks,” said Luigi. “Which means—I’ll have my eye on you.” Pointing his finger at King Boo, he spat, “You’re _my_ [bleep] now.”

He turned and stalked off, leaving King Boo mute.

**…**

That night, Luigi and Gooigi sat in the lab together, each sipping on a thermos filled with Lunoman Greenie coffee, their eyes glued to the containment unit housing King Boo and Hellen.

“I can’t believe he’d do that,” Gooigi said in disbelief, referring to King Boo’s earlier disrespectful display.

“Just—let’s not talk about that anymore,” said Luigi. “Mario’s right. He’s not worth the trouble.”

“That’s the truth of it,” said a voice.

Luigi leaped to his feet, Poltergust raised in defense. “Who said that?” he asked sharply.

“Hey there, youngster. I’ll watch over them for the rest of the night, if you don’t mind.”

A dark-haired, ghostly scientist floated into the room, wearing those familiar spectacles, suit and lab coat. Luigi’s mouth fell open.

“Professor?” he asked.

“I told you I’d be around,” Gadd’s ghost said amiably. “There are still lots of things to do, lots of locales to explore—and now I have all the time in the world to do so!” He laughed and clapped his hands. “Now, how about you two get some sleep? Don’t worry—I’ll watch those fiends like a hawk.”

Luigi tried to speak, but no words came out. Instead, his shoulders heaved and his body shook—and he burst into tears.

Gadd’s ghost hugged him. “Just let it out,” he said.

“I thought…” blubbered Luigi.

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere,” said Gadd’s ghost. “I’ll always be with you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Luigi sobbed again—this time with joy.

With a happy coo, Gooigi joined the embrace. “Daddy,” he said softly.

“Yes, Gooigi,” intoned Gadd’s ghost. “Daddy’s home. And he’s here to stay.”


	48. A Change is Gonna Come (GOOD ENDING Pt. 6)

**I was born by the river in a little tent  
Oh and just like the river I've been running ev'r since  
It's been a long, a long time comin’  
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will**

**It's been too hard livin’, but I'm afraid to die  
'Cause I don't know what's up there, beyond the sky  
It's been a long, a long time comin’  
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will**

**I go to the movie and I go downtown  
Somebody keep tellin' me don't hang around  
It's been a long, a long time comin’  
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will**

**Then I go to my brother  
And I say brother help me please  
But he winds up knockin' me  
Back down on my knees**

**Lord…there’ve been times that I thought I couldn't last for long  
But now I think I'm able to carry on  
It's been a long, a long time comin’  
But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will**

**-Sam Cooke, “A Change is Gonna Come”**

**_December 2021_ **

Dim, winter daylight slat in through the windows of the bedroom and onto the bed, where the sleeping occupant slowly turned over, his chocolate-brown hair lightly mussed from slumber. He opened his radiant blue eyes, pushed aside the covers and slid out of bed, a smile tweaking his face at the promise of a new day. The young man headed over to the bathroom, where he washed his face and expertly glided a razor over the stubble that had accumulated overnight, taking care not to touch his moustache. After that, he jumped into a cool shower and pulled on a pair of briefs, navy blue gym pants and peppermint-striped socks. The shirt would come later. An anticipated look crossed his features as he connected his phone to two Bluetooth wireless speakers, opened up one of his music apps, selected a random playlist and pressed “play”.

And then Luigi Mario began to dance.

He danced and danced and danced—shimmying and swiveling his body, getting nice and sweaty, until he could no longer ignore his lungs screaming at him. Turning off his music, he downed a bottle of Gatorade and jumped into another cool shower. After drying himself off, he brushed his hair, styled it in the usual way and pulled on his iconic getup. Green shirt, navy coveralls, white gloves, brown boots and a green cap with an “L”—which did _not_ stand for “loser”.

Fully dressed, and with the thermostat turned up, Luigi fixed himself some pancakes and scrambled eggs, which he ate while watching the morning news, Polterpup curled up at his feet. He slid his feet out of his boots and used his sock-clad toes to stroke his pet’s fur.

“Good puppy,” he murmured. “Good little Polterpup.”

When he was finished eating, he slid his boots back on, washed the dishes and headed over to his computer. Once he was finished browsing through his emails, he logged into Skype and initiated a video call with his friends.

Mario was the first to pick up. Mario—his big bro—the man he nearly died for three times over.

“Morning,” the man in red greeted in his chipper falsetto.

“How are you, Bro?” asked Luigi.

“Hm—can’t complain,” Mario replied, adjusting his cap. “How about you?”

“I’m doing better, thank you.”

Peach was the next person to answer the Skype call. “Hey, Mario. Hey, Luigi,” she said.

“Hey, Sis,” said Luigi.

“Guess what day it is,” sighed Peach.

Both Mario Bros groaned.

“It’s Friday,” said Luigi.

“Oh, joy,” added Mario.

“Yup. King Koopa’s paying us another visit,” said Peach.

“But we’ll know you’ll be ready for him,” Thad said brightly, having joined the online chat room.

“Yeah! You’re gonna smoke that turkey!” added Brad.

“And just in time for Christmas, too,” laughed Chad.

“Aw—thanks, guys,” said Luigi.

“Even so—I think we should meet up at my castle later today,” said Peach. “We can’t be _too_ confident, you know.”

“I know,” Mario said softly.

Finally, Conrad joined the chat room. “Please, come over,” he said. “We’ll have lunch waiting for you.”

“We’ll be there,” said Mario.

“Yeah,” added Luigi. “I have to see Dr. Beckett later this morning, but I can make it.”

“Awesome!” the Toads chirped in unison.

“Er—look, Luigi,” sighed Peach. “I know things have been difficult since Professor Gadd passed on.”

“They have,” Luigi said softly. “I miss him a lot, but I’m okay.”

“I also can’t help but notice how more relaxed you’ve become after we all told _him_ off,” said Peach. “You look like you’ve slept better, especially. Mario definitely has.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Mario. “I no longer feel guilty over putting you in danger—because I realized that I’d be giving _him_ what he wants. He may have put me in a helpless position, but I still survived—because of you, Luigi.”

“I don’t care who has you in their clutches,” said Luigi. “Rain, snow, sleet or shine—I’ll get to you somehow.”

“Ditto,” said Mario.

Peach beamed. “I love you boys so much,” he said.

“We love you, too,” said Mario. “Okeydokey—we’d better get a jump on the day.”

“Amen to that,” said Peach.

“Luigi—we love you tons,” said Mario.

Luigi kissed three fingers and pressed them against the computer screen. “I love you 3000,” he replied.

On those tender words, he ended the video call.

King Boo’s reign of terror, for Luigi and his friends, ended not only with his failed trap two years ago but also with their telling-off of him two months ago. After twenty years, it was high time they cut him loose.

Luigi, Mario, Peach, Thad, Brad, Chad and even Professor Gadd suffered. But ultimately, they grew stronger. It wasn’t inevitable. King Boo and Hellen Gravely had tried their souls, and through that trial—

—they overcame.

**…**

“Wow,” said Dr. Beckett as Luigi sat in her office. “Finally—after two difficult decades—closure. Complete and utter closure.”

“Yes,” said Luigi, “and it feels pretty great.”

“I must say—confronting King Boo and telling him off—that was a huge step for you.”

“It was,” Luigi told her. “I was a little scared, and I could tell Mario and the others were, too, but—it was a step we had to take. High risk—higher reward.”

Dr. Beckett listened attentively, jotting down notes.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time—tell King Boo to his face that he didn’t have power over me,” Luigi went on. “Now that I have—it’s a little surreal.”

“You mentioned that you no longer have nightmares?” Dr. Beckett spoke up.

“They’ve all but disappeared,” Luigi said proudly.

“What about the feelings of guilt and the ‘what ifs’ cluttering your mind?”

“Gone,” replied Luigi. “When I told King Boo off, I was finally able to come to terms with what happened. It’s just like you said—accentuate the positive.”

“Accentuate the positive,” repeated Dr. Beckett. “I’m really proud of you, Luigi.”

Luigi dropped his eyes. “You’re not the first person to tell me that,” he sighed. “I’ve come to grips with King Boo, but now I need to come to grips with losing my mentor.”

“But you haven’t really lost him, have you?”

“No. He’s continuing his work as a ghost. And his new form has given him additional leeway. _That’s_ something to look forward to.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear,” grinned Dr. Beckett. “But I really _am_ proud of you. You finally did it. You finally let King Boo go.”

“Oh, yeah!” Luigi cried jubilantly. “Luigi number one!”

Dr. Beckett chuckled. “However,” she said, “I have another homework assignment for you.”

“What’s that, Dr. B?”

“Enjoy life,” exhorted Dr. Beckett. “See the world.”

“I think I can do that,” nodded Luigi.

They paused as their phones vibrated and an emergency notification tone sounded.

“Uh-oh,” said Dr. Beckett as she checked her phone. “Looks like we’ll have to cut this session short. Koopa’s expected to make landfall in less than 30 minutes.”

“I’d better get ready,” said Luigi, rising to his feet and extending his hand. “Same time six months from now?”

Dr. Beckett shook Luigi’s hand. “I’ll go ahead and pencil that in,” she said. “Until then—do your homework assignment, write in your journal, and don’t forget to breathe.”

“Okeydokey,” said Luigi.

With a vibrant spring in his step, the man in green dashed out of Dr. Beckett’s office.

Dr. Beckett watched him go. Then, she pulled off her hair tie, allowing her raven-black hair to fall to her shoulders. After sliding on a very familiar-looking pair of spectacles, she opened her drawer, took out a photo and admired it. In the photo, she posed with a diminutive, bespectacled man with a singular tuft of white hair atop his head, smiles on both of their faces. And that man—was none other than Professor Elvin Gadd!

Dr. Beckett chuckled heartily and spun around once in her seat. “Don’t you worry, Grandpa,” she said. “That youngster’s in good hands.”

She looked over at the seat Luigi had vacated and saw a small, velvet box laying there. Quickly, she put the photo away, took off her spectacles and swept up her hair into a ponytail, a singular lock dangling near her forehead. She applied a dollop of hair gel to that lock, causing it to stand up on end, and stood up to flag down Luigi. Hopefully, he hadn’t ventured too far.

Just as she reached for the box, however, Polterpup dashed in, woofed once, and took the box in his jaws. Luigi followed shortly thereafter, cheeks flushed, breathing heavily. He giggled as Polterpup placed the small box in his hands.

“Almost forgot,” he breathed.

He opened the box. Inside was a sterling silver ring, topped by several turquoise gems set in a daisy-shaped mold. Luigi studied the ring with a happy sigh before closing the box and tucking it securely into his pocket.

Dr. Beckett quirked an eyebrow. “You wanna tell me a little about that?” she asked.

Luigi smiled broadly at her in response.

“No,” he told her, his eyes twinkling. “No, I don’t think I will.”

**FINE**

**I was born of the ice and snow  
With the winter wolves, in the dark alone  
The wildest night, I became the one  
And you'll know you're mine when the silence comes**

**Heavy is the crown, only for the weak**

**A knife in my heart couldn't slow me down  
'Cause power is power, my fire never goes out  
I rise from my scars, nothing hurts me now  
'Cause power is power  
Now watch me burn it down**

**I been down for the coldest war  
And I'll know where I been 'cause I bled before, yeah  
How do I know if I let you stay?  
How do I know if we did it your way?  
You wouldn't take my place  
Put me away, I'd die lookin' up at your face  
How do I ever know? Who can I trust?  
Feelings of emptiness  
Only love could kill me, God bless**

**A knife in my heart  
Couldn't slow me down (couldn't slow me down)  
'Cause power is power ('cause power is power)  
My fire never goes out  
I rise from my scars  
Nothing hurts me now (nothing hurts me now)  
'Cause power is power ('cause power is power)  
Now watch me burn it down**

**Breathe, feel the air that I breathe (yeah)  
Air that I, air that I breathe (ooh)  
Who's hotter? Been a monster with a crown (ooh)  
So swamped by high water, keep your head up, you might drown (ooh)  
In this world it's way colder, by the day, we count it down  
Been around, just been waitin' up, she gon' come around  
I took a drag, bust it out the gates, my lil' baby slay  
I wore the flag, put that on my face, ain't nobody safe  
Lift the mask, they gon' have to see what they can't erase  
I took a lie, so I took it back (do-do-do-do-do, yeah)  
Danger's on my mind (ah)  
Ain't no knife, dagger, bullet that can do it  
For you, yeah you know, I go right up straight through it (yeah, yeah)**

**Heavy is the crown, but never for a queen (oh, yeah)**

**A knife in my heart  
It couldn't slow me down (couldn't slow me down)  
'Cause power is power ('cause power is power)  
The fire never goes out (oh)  
I rise from my scars  
Nothing hurts me now (nothing hurts me now)  
'Cause power is power ('cause power is power)  
Now watch me burn it down (ooh, yeah, yeah)  
Now watch me burn it down**

**-SZA, The Weeknd, Travis Scott, “Power is Power”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, the BL trilogy has come to an end. Thank you all for reading and leaving kudos!


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